by Lisa Ireland
She smiled at Felix and pushed her worries to the back of her mind. What did she know about labour? Pete would let her know when there was news and in the meantime there were three kids here who needed her undivided attention. ‘Shall I make pancakes?’
Felix grinned. ‘Pancakes are my favourite.’
‘Okay. You can help then. Can you get the milk out of the fridge for me and find a big bowl and a wooden spoon? I’m just going to check on your brother and sister. I’ll be back in a minute.’
An hour-and-a-half later all three kids were fed, cleaned and clothed. Jewels had delivered the news that the boys would not be attending school or kinder today to great acclaim. She wondered if she was doing the right thing but she figured it was pointless sending them off only to have to collect them again as soon as the baby arrived. Which surely would be anytime now.
Or maybe not.
She decided to send Pete a quick text to see if she could get an update. If the baby was still hours away she would take the kids to her place and pick up her laptop so she could do a bit of work while she waited.
Hey Pete.
What’s going on?
Any news?
Do you think it’ll be much longer?
J x
Seconds after she’d pressed send her phone began to ring. She answered immediately, willing herself to sound excited at the news she was about to hear. ‘Hey, Pete, how are we doing? Do you have some news for us?’
‘Jewels, can you move away from the kids? Take the phone into the bedroom or something?’ Pete’s voice was strained.
She glanced over at the kids. The boys were both engrossed in a video and Mia was busy playing with some blocks. ‘Sure. Just give me a second.’ She slipped into the hallway, quietly closing the lounge room door behind her. ‘So do you have some news?’
‘The baby’s here.’
‘Oh my god! That’s so fantastic, Pete. Congratulations! Boy or girl? How’s Sofia? When can we come and see you all?’
There was a moment of silence before Pete answered. ‘We have a beautiful baby girl.’ Before Jewels could respond, Pete continued, ‘Is there any way you can get Matt to look after the kids for a bit? Has he gone to work yet? I think it would be better if you came on your own.’
Her pulse rate ratcheted up. ‘Matt will be at work by now, but I’m sure he’ll come home if we need him. What’s going on, Pete?’
‘The baby, there’s a problem.’
‘Oh no, Pete, you must be beside yourself. And Sofia . . . So what is it? What’s wrong and, more importantly, what are they doing for her?’
‘They think she has Down syndrome. They’ve been doing some tests, but she’s back in the room with Sofia now. I don’t know, Jewels, she looks perfect to me. In fact she’s adorable. But Sofia . . .’
‘What?’
‘She can’t stop crying. She won’t pick Lily up and won’t try to feed her. There’s a midwife in there with her now, but she won’t listen to anyone. We need you, Jewels.’
‘I’ll sort the kids and be there as soon as I can.’
★
FAT CHAT | Wednesday March 9 2016 | Jewels
Wow. I came here expecting to see a zillion posts but there’s nothing here. Clearly you guys haven’t been wondering where I am because none of you have been on here either. What the heck is going on? Please tell me you’re not all shitty with me over what I said to Kat the other day? Honestly, guys, I thought our friendship was stronger than that.
Anyway, just in case any of you are interested, I thought I’d let you know my sister had her baby yesterday morning. She’s a gorgeous little girl named Lily Giulia. I was pretty chuffed that they chose my name as her middle name. Sofia and Lily are still in hospital, but we’re expecting them to come home on Friday.
I’m sorry I didn’t text any of you to let you know sooner. I did pop an announcement on Facebook, and hoped one of you would see it on there and tell the others but I know you guys are not big Facebook users. I noticed I had a couple of missed calls from you, Mezz, and I promise I’ll call ASAP. Sorry not to respond immediately but I’ve been pretty busy.
Lily was born with Down syndrome and Sofia had a bit of a breakdown after she was told. I’ve been dividing my time between looking after Sofia’s kids and spending time in the hospital with Lily, who is just the most adorable baby you can ever imagine. I feel like she and I have formed a special bond already. Sofia isn’t breastfeeding and I’ve actually got to feed her a few times, which is just beautiful. Thankfully she’s a very healthy little baby and the doctors are optimistic about her future in every way. Unfortunately it’s taken Sofia a little while to understand this.
Apparently it’s unusual for Down syndrome not to be diagnosed before birth these days, so even the medical team was surprised. Sofia was offered testing for foetal abnormalities during her pregnancy but chose not to have any. After one of her ultrasounds the doctor told her that there was a slightly increased risk of Down syndrome – something to do with one of the measurements – but they also said it wasn’t a definite indicator and that the only way to know for sure was to have more invasive tests. At the time she said, ‘I’ve had three perfect babies, why would this one be any different?’ Unfortunately that hasn’t turned out to be the case. Now Sofia feels guilty and sad and shocked and she’s struggling to bond with the baby. I know that this is not her fault in any way and I can empathise with how scared she must be feeling but part of me wonders why she didn’t just have the tests when they were offered. At least she would have been better prepared. I don’t know. Maybe there is no way of being prepared for something like this.
After Lily arrived Sofia’s husband, Pete, called me to the hospital to support Sofia but when I got there she wouldn’t speak to me. It was terrible. I didn’t know how to help her. I kept trying to tell her how fortunate she was to have a beautiful new baby but that seemed to make things worse, so the counsellor suggested I might be better off to give her some space. Instead I focused my attention on making sure Lily knew she was welcome and loved, and that has been a truly delightful task. Pete is gorgeous with her too. He’s totally smitten. Sofia has been receiving counselling and she’s doing much better. This morning she fed Lily for the first time and she’s starting to talk about organising her baptism, which is a really good sign.
So, that’s what’s news in my world. I hope the rest of you have been busy with wonderful things and that’s why you’ve all been AWOL from our chat page. If I have upset any of you, or all of you, please, please forgive me. I know I have a big mouth, but that’s what I love about this group, you all accept me for who I am. I love you all and need you right now so please don’t punish me for having an opinion. I don’t care if none of you agree with me. If you want to tell me off go ahead, but don’t give up on me!
Looking forward to hearing from you all soon!
Jewels xox
★
‘Hey, let me help you with that.’ Sean took Mezz’s suitcase from her and swung it effortlessly into the boot of the Land Rover.
‘Thanks.’ She placed her hand on his arm. ‘Thanks for organising the kids for the rest of the week and for not being a pain about having them this weekend. I really appreciate you not making a big deal out of it.’
‘Of course. What sort of arse would I be if I tried to stop you from helping a friend in need?’
‘Still, I want you to know it means a lot to me.’ She went to kiss him goodbye out of habit but stopped short, remembering just in time that she wasn’t entitled to do that anymore. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise.’
‘Take as long as you need, although I guess you’ve got to be back for work, right?’
Mezz shrugged. ‘We’ll see. Work’s not my priority right now.’ She’d actually called Barry and told him she had a family emergency in Melbourne and wasn’t sure when she’d be back at
work. He was peeved, and she didn’t blame him. She knew he thought she was letting her patients down and he was right, but at the moment there was only one sick person she could think about and she needed to be with her.
‘Go on, get going,’ Sean said. ‘Best get as close to Melbourne as possible before nightfall. Easier driving in the daylight.’
She nodded and got into the driver’s seat. Sean rapped the bonnet of her car and waved as she reversed out of the carport.
An hour later she left the winding, sometimes gravel, country roads behind her and entered the main highway to Geelong. With the hardest part of the drive done she could relax a little. She checked her phone signal on the dashboard display and saw it was strong. It was as good a time as any to try calling Jewels again. Mezz hadn’t wanted to deliver the news about Kat in a text or email. She needed to speak to Jewels directly, but for days now she’d been leaving messages without any response. She pressed the hands-free phone button on the dash and said, ‘Call Jewels.’
The phone barely had a chance to ring before Jewels picked up. ‘Oh hey, Mezz,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t called you back. I know you won’t believe this but I was going to do it today. Sofia’s had the baby and . . . did you read my post on our blog?’
‘Jewels, I’m sorry I haven’t had time. When I couldn’t get hold of you, I thought Sofia must be in hospital. That’s partially why I didn’t try harder to contact you.’
‘Yeah, it’s been a whirlwind couple of days. It didn’t all go to plan. It turns out Sofia’s baby, Lily – they called her Lily, isn’t that sweet? – anyway, Lily has Down syndrome, and Sofia and Pete didn’t know about it before she was born, so it came as a bit of a shock. I wrote a long post this morning to explain everything, but long story short, Sofia didn’t cope well with the news. On one hand I feel enormously sorry for her, because this has come out of the blue and she was totally unprepared for it, but on the other hand I’m still quite envious of the fact that she has a beautiful newborn baby. I wish she could see Lily from my perspective, then she might realise just how lucky she really is. She’s so adorable, I can’t even . . . Part of me wanted to pick her up and walk right out of that hospital with her. But everything’s looking up now. Sofia’s doing a lot better and they’re coming home tomorrow.’ Jewels finally paused for breath before adding, ‘So what’s news with you?’
Mezz took a settling breath. Jewels had already had an emotionally draining time. This news was bound to unhinge her. ‘Where are you?’
‘I’m at home. Why?’
‘I’m really sorry to have to tell you this, but I have some bad news. It’s about Kat.’
‘What about Kat?’
‘She’s sick, Jewels. Really sick. It’s not confirmed yet but we’re fairly certain she has ovarian cancer.’
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
‘Jewels? Are you there?’
‘Yeah, I’m here. She’ll be okay though, Mezz, right? I mean, my friend’s mum had some sort of women’s cancer like that and they cut it out and she’s fine now. Kat’s so young. And she’s healthy. She won’t die from this, I know she won’t.’
Mezz wished she shared Jewels’ optimism. But realistically she knew the chances of Kat’s cancer being curable weren’t great. ‘Look, we don’t really know anything yet. We don’t know for sure that it is ovarian cancer, however it’s highly likely that it is. Kat and Ellie are flying to Melbourne tonight. We’re all staying at a hotel in the city overnight, Kat will be admitted to the Royal Women’s in the morning. She’ll have a surgical biopsy and the tumour removed, if possible. We’ll know more after that.’
‘Why are they coming to Melbourne?’
‘I thought Kat would get the best treatment there. The hospital closest to her is only small and doesn’t have all the facilities the Royal Women’s does. I’ve done some quick research on ovarian cancer and it seems women who are treated in major centres have better outcomes overall, and I want Kat to have the very best. I went to uni with the head of the gynaecological oncology unit at the Women’s so I asked her to do me a favour and find Kat a bed there. I convinced her it was imperative Kat be seen in Melbourne as that’s where her support network is.’
Jewels made no comment so Mezz continued.
‘Gina’s one of the top specialists in this area and I know she’ll make sure the team at the Women’s will do their absolute best for Kat. At first Kat was reluctant to come all the way to Melbourne, but I think that was because she was worried about the cost of the flights and accommodation after her treatment. Of course, I was more than happy to take care of all of that. In fact, Sean was the one who booked it all and paid. He’s been pretty fantastic about the whole thing.’
‘Oh, that’s good. Look, Matt and I can help out financially if there’s anything else she needs. Just let me know.’
‘Okay, but you can tell Kat that yourself.’ The phone went silent for a moment. Maybe she’d hit a black spot. ‘Jewels? Can you hear me? Are you still there?’
‘I’m here. How long will she be in hospital for?’
‘I’m really not sure. It depends on what they find. It’s likely to be a few days. Maybe even a week.’
‘I should send her some flowers then.’
For a moment Mezz wasn’t sure how to respond to this. ‘Well, yeah, if you like, but I’m sure she’d love to see you. I was hoping we could all be there for her tomorrow, even if it’s only for a few minutes.’
‘Oh. Look, Mezz, tomorrow’s not going to work for me. I’m looking after Sofia’s kids.’
‘Of course, I understand that. But under the circumstances maybe Matt could help out for a little while, or your mum? I’m not suggesting you give up your whole day. She has to be at the hospital at nine o’clock, so perhaps we could all catch up for a coffee early in the morning? Kat will be fasting so nothing too fancy – even just a get-together at the hotel would be great.’
There was a long pause before Jewels said, ‘I’m sorry. I can’t.’
‘Jewels, I don’t think you realise just how serious –’
‘Mezz, I’ve got another call coming through. I’d better take it in case it’s Sofia. Talk soon.’
And just like that she was gone.
Chapter Twenty-five
Kat was relieved to have five minutes to herself. Mezz and Ellie meant well, she knew that, and she was grateful for their support, but she was beginning to feel suffocated by all the attention. Not to mention the forced cheerfulness.
When the nurse came in to remove her catheter she mentioned that the doctor was on her way to talk to her. Kat had been too groggy after her surgery yesterday to comprehend any of the information her surgeon had given her. After Dr Miles had said the word ‘cancer’ her brain had simply shut down. Today she was feeling more lucid. The pain medication being delivered via the drip in her arm was keeping her reasonably comfortable, without making her too drowsy, so she felt more confident about comprehending whatever news her surgeon was about to deliver.
She’d asked Mezz and Ellie to take Ami down to the cafeteria. Mezz had offered to stay, and Kat knew she was desperate to be in the room to hear the news. But she couldn’t bear to fall apart in front of her friend. There were some experiences in life that couldn’t be shared.
In her bones she knew she was dying. Maybe deep down in her soul she’d known for months now, even if her brain hadn’t caught on. Perhaps that’s why she’d thrown caution to the wind and allowed herself to live so fully these past few months. It had started when she’d defied Josh and stuck with the online forum. Something she didn’t quite understand, perhaps a higher power or a sixth sense, had driven her to pursue a friendship with Ellie, Mezz and Jewels. Somehow she knew they’d be important to her. And they were. In such a short time those three women had become her family. They’d been there for her already, seeing her through her break-up with Jos
h and cheering from the sidelines when she’d taken control of her life, and then found happiness with Ben.
That was another wonderful thing the universe had given her these past few months – a delicious guilt-free liaison with a truly beautiful man. She’d dived headlong into that relationship without letting the fact that there was possibly no future in it worry her. Perhaps something within her had known that was a problem that would never need solving.
Poor man. She’d run off on him without explaining herself. Later, when she had a better idea of what was happening here, she’d call him. But she knew one thing; what they’d had together – however wonderful – was over now. It had to be for his sake. He didn’t need the burden that this illness would inevitably bring. It was too much to ask. Kat would relieve him of the choice to stay. It was the least she could do for him after all he’d done for her.
‘Hello, Katia. How are you feeling?’ The question came from her surgeon, Louise Miles, who was now busy pulling the privacy curtain around Kat’s bed.
‘A bit sore, actually.’
‘Well, that’s to be expected. You’ve had major surgery.’
Kat nodded, not really sure what she was supposed to do or say. Perhaps sending Mezz out of the room wasn’t such a great idea after all.
‘I imagine you want to know more about what we found when we operated, so I’m not going to keep you in suspense any longer. You were still quite out of it when we spoke yesterday so I’m not sure how much of that you remember?’
Kat shrugged. ‘I remember I have cancer.’
Dr Miles nodded. ‘Yes, you have ovarian cancer. I’m sorry. I wish I had better news to tell you. What you need to know for now is that we’ve removed the tumour. It had adhered itself to the uterine wall. Unfortunately that meant we had to remove your entire uterus.’
‘A hysterectomy?’
‘Yes. Remember we talked about this possibility before surgery?’
Kat nodded automatically.
‘In fact the cancer had spread all through the pelvic area so we have had to take everything – the uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes. We’ve also taken some of your lymph nodes for testing. You’ll be visited by the oncologist on Monday who’ll talk to you about your treatment in more detail. You do need to know that we believe there’s a possibility the cancer has already spread to distant sites. There’s some evidence of diaphragm, liver and possibly some lung involvement. Right now you are considered stage three, however if pathology confirms cancerous cells in any of those sites then that will change to stage four. This does have some implications for your treatment going forward but we will discuss that fully when all your results are in. At the moment I don’t have all the pathology back to complete the grading of your cancer, but hopefully I’ll be able to tell you something more definitive on Monday. You’ll probably want to ask some more questions then, once you’ve had time to process it all. I’m sure your doctor friend – Meredith, isn’t it? – will be able to help you come up with a list of suitable questions.’