The Shape of Us

by Lisa Ireland

  When Ellie finally made her way back to the living room she saw that Mezz and Jewels had closed all the blinds. Candles lit the room and the scent of lemongrass wafted from the oil burner. Jewels had found Kat’s iPod and plugged it into the speakers. One of Kat’s favourite songs, ‘The Sound of White’, played softly in the background. Mezz filled three bowls with warm water and handed one to Ellie along with a soft pink washcloth. Jewels had given Ami a hairbrush and told her they were going to make Mummy pretty.

  Ellie stood motionless at the foot of the bed while the other two slowly undressed their friend. When they were done, Mezz and Jewels started at the top of Kat’s body and began to gently wash her skin. Ami sat on the bed brushing her mother’s hair and telling her how pretty she was. After a minute or so her bottom lip began to tremble and tears filled her eyes. ‘Wake up, Mama,’ she said, shaking Kat’s shoulder.

  Jewels gently picked her up and hugged her. ‘Mama’s sleeping now, sweetie.’ Soon they would have to try to help Ami understand the truth, that her mother was gone from this world, but not right this moment. Ami snuggled against her and Jewels gently rocked her back forth, which seemed to have a calming effect on both of them.

  After a few minutes Mezz stopped washing and turned to Ellie. ‘Are you okay?’

  Ellie shook her head. ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’

  ‘It’s what she wanted,’ Jewels said.

  Ellie nodded and took a step forward. She put her hand on Kat’s foot. ‘I love you, Kat,’ she said as she placed the cloth on her skin and began to wash.

  Epilogue

  Ellie crouched down beside Ami to kiss her goodbye. ‘Are you okay, sweetheart? Do you need anything?’

  Ami shook her head. ‘Go and sit in your seat. I don’t want you to miss the start of the concert. I have a big surprise for you.’

  Ellie smiled, proud of the confident and independent little girl she was raising. ‘Okay. Aunty Jewels is saving me a seat, so I won’t miss the start, I promise. Don’t forget you have to wait backstage with Miss Graham until I collect you.’

  Lizzie Graham turned at the sound of her name and smiled at Ellie. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of her. You head on out into the auditorium. I promise Amira will be fine.’

  Ellie knew when she was being dismissed. She squeezed past the throng of nervous parents and excited children backstage and made her way into the hall where she immediately spotted Jewels.

  ‘Ellie, Ellie! Over here.’ Jewels was waving her arms in the air, oblivious to the stares she was attracting from other audience members.

  Ellie made her way to the front of the hall giving the other parents apologetic smiles and nods as she went.

  Jewels kissed her cheek and then motioned for her to sit in the chair she’d saved. ‘I was worried you were going to spend so much time backstage that you’d miss the start.’

  ‘No chance of that. Ami shooed me off as soon as she could.’

  ‘Hey, stranger.’

  Ellie looked up to see Mezz standing in front of her smiling. She had a fancy looking camera slung around her neck.

  ‘Mezz! How long have you been here?’ Ellie jumped out of her seat to greet her friend.

  Mezz waved the camera at her. ‘Ten minutes or so. I’ve just been taking a few photos of the stage. I thought Ami might like to make a book with the pictures I take tonight.’

  Ellie gave her a hug. ‘Great idea.’ She pulled back to look at Mezz properly. She was dressed casually in jeans and the soft pink linen blend top Ellie had made for her to take away on holidays the month before. Pale pink painted toenails peeked out of a pair of beaded leather sandals and Ellie noted her fingernails were painted to match. Mezz’s tanned forearms were adorned with silver bangles and her glossy, newly-coloured nut brown hair was tied back in a low ponytail. ‘You wore the top! It looks great. In fact, you look radiant, Mezzie. What’s your secret?’

  Mezz smiled and shrugged. ‘Well, the holiday in Thailand didn’t hurt. But life is good right now. The wellness clinic is finally making a decent profit. I’ve always loved working there, but the start-up years took their toll financially. Thank god for Sean’s new job. I don’t think we could survive the uncertainty of us both running our own business. You know what it’s like.’

  Ellie nodded. ‘That I do. Luckily I have Jewels to take care of the business side of things. Otherwise I’d be in a spot of bother.’

  ‘Come on you two, sit down. Don’t make the pregnant lady stand up to hear all the gossip,’ Jewels said.

  ‘Gosh, I’m starving,’ Ellie said, as she took her seat. ‘With all the fussing around getting Ami’s costume sorted I haven’t had time to eat.’

  Jewels’ hand dived into her handbag and she pulled out a cellophane bag of chocolate-coated biscuits. She passed them to Ellie. ‘Here, have some of these. I’ve been baking Firenzini for Christmas gifts and I popped this lot into my handbag in case any of us got hungry. I’m eating for three you know.’

  Ellie laughed. ‘You are definitely making up for all that time you dieted. Remember when you did that awful “cleansing” program where you basically starved yourself?’

  Jewels screwed up her face. ‘How could I forget? Man, that was terrible. Looking back I don’t know how I did it, but at the time I was obsessed.’ She looked at Ellie. ‘You know, Kat made me promise to stop doing that program. She wanted me to be more like you, you sexy beast.’

  Ellie felt her cheeks colouring. ‘Enough of that rubbish.’

  Jewels laughed as she reached over and took a biscuit from the packet.

  Ellie offered the bag of cookies to Mezz, who shook her head. ‘They look delicious but I’m full. So, El, where’s the mysterious Nicola?’

  Ellie grinned. ‘She’s not here. I thought you lot en masse might be a tad too much for her. It’s still early days and I don’t want to scare her off.’

  Mezz raised her eyebrows. ‘She’s got to meet the family sometime.’

  ‘I know, I know. I think I might invite her to visit us at St Leonards over the summer if that’s okay with you?’

  ‘Of course it is. Our house is your house. We’re family, you know that,’ Mezz said.

  Ellie looked around. ‘Speaking of family, is Sean here?’

  ‘He’s parking the car. It’s crazy out there. I don’t know how you guys stand the traffic.’

  Ellie laughed. ‘It’s not that bad. You’re just a country bumpkin these days.’

  ‘St Leonards is hardly the country,’ Mezz said.

  ‘It is by our standards,’ Jewels chipped in, and Ellie grinned her agreement.

  ‘What about the boys?’ Ellie asked. ‘Are they here too?’

  Mezz nodded. ‘Sean said he’d find a place for them all up the back somewhere. I think Max is worried this one . . .’ she nudged Jewels, ‘will embarrass us all with her over-zealous cheering.’

  ‘As if,’ Jewels replied, a look of mock horror on her face.

  Ellie laughed. ‘I don’t blame him.’

  Jewels shrugged. ‘If you think I’m bad you’d better hope Sofia doesn’t start up.’

  ‘Sofia’s here?’ Ellie said.

  ‘Yep, her girls insisted. Mia promised Ami she’d come, and you know how Lily idolises her cousin.’

  Ellie’s eyes misted with tears. Ami was surrounded by love tonight. But there was someone missing and try as she might Ellie could never reconcile herself to the injustice of that.

  Mezz squeezed her hand and Ellie swallowed down the lump in her throat as the auditorium lights dimmed. The principal took the stage and gave the welcome address, explaining that each class would present a song they’d been practising for the audience’s entertainment and at the end of these performances there would be some special presentations. The principal handed over to one of the grade six school leaders, who announced the school’s youngest stu
dents would be opening the concert.

  A parade of sea creatures ventured onto the stage and Ellie’s stomach churned with nervous anticipation as she waited for Ami to make her appearance. Finally a lavender-haired mermaid shuffled across in front of her. It was their girl and she couldn’t have looked more adorable if she’d tried. Mezz started to snap pictures as Jewels applauded wildly. Ellie gave her a little wave, but Ami was too busy concentrating on positioning herself in the correct spot to notice. The senior school band began to play a rendition of the Beatles’ song ‘Octopus’s Garden’ and the preps all began to sing and dance. Ami swished her mermaid’s tail in time to the music and sang every word perfectly, just the way they’d practised at home.

  In a few short minutes it was all over, and Ellie settled back into her seat, knowing she was in for another hour of watching other people’s kids before she could take Ami home. She’d invited everyone back to her place for celebratory drinks and dessert, but hadn’t counted on Jewels’ whole family turning up to the concert. She had plenty of champagne, but Nonno Joe was a beer drinker, so she might have to do a quick stop at the bottle shop on the way home. There’d be plenty of food. She always over-catered for these events and if worst came to worst Jewels was bound to have a pantry full of goodies should they fall short of anything. It was very handy having one of her best friends living right across the street.

  The next hour or so passed slowly and Ellie was more than ready to get going when the principal took the stage for her closing address.

  After congratulating all the students and teachers on a wonderfully entertaining concert Mrs Baysham said it was her pleasure to introduce the final item for the night.

  ‘New families to the school may not be aware of our tradition of showcasing a piece of outstanding work at our concert. All of our class teachers submit one piece of work and from this collection I select one piece to be showcased. It’s my pleasure to announce that this year the piece I have chosen has come from one of our prep students, Amira from Prep G. Amira, could you please join me on the stage?’

  Ellie couldn’t believe her ears. All around her the family was going nuts, clapping and cheering for all they were worth.

  Ami walked out on the stage grinning from ear to ear. Mrs Baysham presented her with a certificate and then went back to the microphone.

  ‘Amira’s outstanding piece of work is a set of dolls she created to depict her family. The dolls are constructed from recycled household materials – paper, wool, cloth – and when you see them I’m sure you’ll agree that they display an exceptional degree of artistic talent, especially in a student so young. So that everyone can see Amira’s artwork properly, her teacher, Miss Graham, made a video of Amira talking about each piece and what it means to her.’

  The lights dimmed for a moment and then Ami’s face burst onto the screen. She was holding a brightly dressed doll with black woollen hair. ‘This is Ellie. She’s my mum, but I don’t call her Mum or Mummy because I didn’t grow in her tummy. Usually I call her Melly. It’s my nickname for her. I can’t remember why, but my Aunty Jewels says it’s because when I was little I used to call her “My Ellie” and I didn’t want to share her with anyone else.’

  Tears streamed down Ellie’s face. A hand reached for hers and squeezed it. She looked around to see Jewels wiping her eyes with the other hand.

  The next doll had long wavy brown hair and a huge round stomach. ‘This is my Aunty Jewels. She has two babies in her tummy. She lives across the road from us with my Uncle Matt. She has a big family. Aunty Sofia is her sister and she has four kids who are my cousins. Aunty Jewels and Melly work together. Melly makes lots of pretty clothes and Aunty Jewels sells them in her shop.’

  On the screen the teacher handed her a third doll. ‘Who’s this one?’ Miss Graham asked.

  ‘That’s my Aunty Mezz. She lives at the beach and we go to her house for holidays all the time. Aunty Jewels has a beach house right near Aunty Mezz’s house so at Christmas time we are all there together. I love going to Aunty Mezz’s house. Uncle Sean is really nice. He taught me how to ride a bike. And my cousins Max, Liam and Archie are lots of fun to play with.’

  Finally Ami picked up a doll with a sparkly green mermaid’s tail. ‘This is my mama. Her name was Katia, but her friends called her Kat. She doesn’t live on earth anymore, but Melly and my aunties say she still lives in my memories and my heart.’

  As the audience began to applaud, Ami beamed out at her family from the stage. Mezz reached over and took Ellie’s other hand.

  Acknowledgements

  This book was inspired by a group of beautiful strangers I met on an internet forum. Those strangers went on to become treasured friends. C, L, PJ and N, thank you for then, and for now.

  I owe a debt of gratitude to Haylee Nash for her passion and belief in this book. Haylee, without you this book would not be what it is. Thank you for loving my story and for championing it. I’ve loved working with you on this project and I’m looking forward to collaborating on future books.

  Thank you to everyone at Pan Macmillan, but most especially Georgia Douglas, who has a fantastic eye for detail and the patience of a saint. Thanks for holding my hand through all the edits, Georgia! Special thanks also to Cate Paterson for always making me feel that everything was under control.

  I’m very grateful to Jo Jarrah, who did a meticulous copy edit on my manuscript. The book left her hands in much better shape than when she received it. Thanks, Jo, for picking up my many mistakes and making me look good!

  My friend, critique partner and one-woman cheer squad, Amanda Knight, deserves a medal for all the whining she had to put up with as she rode the rollercoaster of this book with me. Amanda, your friendship and daily support mean the world to me. Thank you for always being there.

  Delwyn Jenkins is always ready to drop everything and spend a few hours discussing writing dilemmas. Thanks, Delwyn. May our long lunches continue for years to come.

  Emily Madden, Rachael Johns, Beck Nicholas and Amanda Knight not only help me to get words on the page most days, they’re also always ready to provide support or kick my butt when I need it. Thanks to all of you for being my tribe.

  Jennie Jones and Catherine Evans are wonderful sounding boards. Thanks to both of you for your friendship and ongoing support.

  I’ve never met Kylie Ladd in person, but she provided me with much needed words of encouragement when I thought this book was dead in the water. Rest assured, Kylie, I plan to pay the love forward.

  Fiona Lowe is always ready to answer my industry questions and provide me with the benefit of her wisdom. Thanks for being so generous with your time and knowledge, Fiona.

  Georgina Penney read an early draft and provided fabulous feedback. You’re a legend, George! Thanks for only ever being an email away.

  Carmen Vicos has the tedious job of reading all my first drafts. Thanks Carmen for volunteering. I hope you don’t regret it!

  My talented friend, Chris Weston, came up with the book’s title. Thanks Chris for saving me when I was completely stumped!

  Amra Pajalic was kind enough to answer my questions about Bosnian culture and food. Thanks, Amra, for your honest and timely answers to all my queries.

  Dr Allara Barber generously gave up hours and hours of her time to talk me through the medical aspects of the story. Thanks, Allara, for your help and expertise. Thanks also to bariatric surgeon, Darrin Goodall-Wilson, for his assistance with medical matters.

  Thanks to Romance Writers of Australia for providing ongoing support, professional development and opportunities for Australian writers. Also thanks to the members of AWSOM for your unfailing support and encouragement.

  A big thank you to my extended family, my friends and the members of my book club, for being in my cheer squad! Heartfelt thanks also to all my Facebook friends and followers, newsletter subscribers, and Twitter followers. I love cha
tting to you all and appreciate your support.

  To the love of my life, David, thanks for everything you do and for sharing this wonderful life with me. Thanks also for your fabulous editorial suggestions. Yet again I failed to squeeze the ninjas in. Maybe next time.

  To my gorgeous boys, Charlie, Will and Alex, I probably don’t tell you enough what awesome kids you are. Thanks for being smart, funny and all round good guys. Most especially thanks for not being embarrassed to be seen with your mum. (Although you’ll probably all be embarrassed by this gushing testimonial!)

  A very special mention to:

  Times Four, Louiewillbelean, Slinky Malinki, Princess Jackie, BikiniDreamer, Trisca, Mooshsilk, Tuataragirl, pookiegirlba, Robynann, Mimbles, NicoleP, Wombat50, StevieRose, Mezz_e, Miss_Liza, Diminishing and all my other lovely virtual friends. (Please forgive me if I’ve left anyone out – it was a long time ago now!)

  Last but not least, to Becky F, for reaching out across the oceans and being my friend when no one else could understand.

  SARA TAYLOR PHOTOGRAPHY

  About Lisa Ireland

  Lisa Ireland lives on the Victorian coast with her husband and three sons. After working for many years as a primary school teacher, Lisa is now a full-time writer.

  Lisa is passionate about art and travel and has a strong interest in human rights: she is an active supporter of several human rights organisations including the Combined Refugee Action Group, which provides assistance for refugees in her local region. When she’s not writing she can be found drinking coffee with friends or wandering along the beach with her extremely disobedient but totally loveable dogs, Millie and Lulu.