Bette Midler
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The Rose: “Honey, if you had to work for a living, your ass would be draggin’, too!”
____________
The Rose: “Oh my God! That drag queen’s doin’ me!”
____________
The Rose: “Are you trying to get in my bloomers, sonny?”
Huston: “Working on it.”
The Rose: “Oh you brown eyed motherfucker, where you been all my life?”
TV SPECIALS AND SERIES
1. The Fabulous Bette Midler HBO
First broadcast: June 19, 1976
2. Ol’ Redhair Is Back NBC-TV
Guest Stars: Dustin Hoffman, Emmett Kelly
First broadcast: December 7, 1977
3. Bette Midler: Art or Bust
HBO First broadcast: August 20, 1984
4. Bette Midler’s Mondo Beyondo HBO
Guest Stars: Bill Irwin, Paul Zaloom, the Kipper Kids (Martin von Hasselberg and Brian Routh)
First broadcast: March 19, 1988
5. Diva Las Vegas HBO
First broadcast: January 18, 1997
6. Bette CBS-TV series
Broadcast dates: 2000–2001
CONCERT TOURS
Continental Baths (1970–1972)
Carnegie Hall (1972)
Philharmonic Hall at Lincoln Center (1972)
The Divine Miss M Tour (1973)
Bette at the Palace (1973)
Clams on the Half Shell Revue (1975)
The Depression Tour (1975)
The Club Tour (1977)
The World Tour (1978)
Divine Madness! (1979)
De Tour (1982)
Experience the Divine (1993–1994)
Diva Las Vegas (1996–1997)
Divine Miss Millennium Concerts, Las Vegas (1999–2000)
WEBSITES
1. Bette Midler Webpage
http://www.experiencethedivine.com/
This is a well-maintained website, full of information and links. There is an outline of her career, news of her family, and even a listing of her movies currently running on television.
2. lerenti.com: Bette Midler Lyrics
http://digilander.iol.it/lerenti/lyrics/full/m/midler_bette.htm
This is literally a website devoted to the recorded lyrics of Bette Midler, from The Divine Miss M up to Bathhouse Betty. In the instance of Mud Will Be Flung Tonight! only the song lyrics are transcribed, not the comedy routines.
3. My One True Bette
http://www.crosswinds.net/~myonetruebette/
This site contains an album list, movie list, photos, downloadable computer wallpaper, puzzles, lyrics, and various website links.
4. Best of Bette
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/6179/
An informative site with separate sections of Bette’s TV specials, films, albums, and a musical jukebox on which you can play several of Bette’s songs.
5. Bettechive
http://www.bettechive.com/
This site contains an interesting overview of Bette’s life and career with trivia quiz, bibliography, and more. There is also an interesting timeline of recent events, especially of Midler’s events in 2001 and 2002—complete with photos.
6. Delve into the Divine
http://www.delveintothedivine.cjb.net/
A well arranged overview of Bette’s life and career, with separate sections on television, films, music, multimedia, news, quotes, and more.
7. New York Restoration Project
http://www.nyrp.org/
This is the official site of Bette’s pet project, responsible for cleaning up New York City’s parks and other public places. She can be found on a couple of the site’s pages.
8. Klingman, Moogy
http://www.moogymusic.com/
This is the site of singer, songwriter, and keyboard player Moogy Klingman. Moogy wrote Bette’s signature song, “Friends,” and was the producer of her Songs for the New Depression album. He was also a member of Utopia and has worked with Todd Rundgren, Bette Midler, Johnny Winter, and more. The site contains a page devoted to Bette.
BETTE MIDLER FACTS
Name: Bette Midler
Namesake: Bette Davis
Childhood nicknames: The Librarian, “Harriet Craig”
Alter Egos: The Divine Miss M, Baby Divine, Delores DeLago, Soph, Nanette
Occupations: Actress, singer, author, songwriter, producer, and diva extraordinaire
Height: 5′1½12;″
Hair: Presently champagne blonde, occasionally red-orange, and sometimes a dark brown
Eyes: Brown
Date of Birth: December 1, 1945
Place of Birth: Honolulu, Hawaii
Father: Fred Midler
Mother: Ruth Schindel
Siblings: Judith (deceased), Susan, Daniel
Religion: Judaism
First Job: Working at a pineapple factory
Marital Status: Married Martin von Hasselberg, December 16, 1984, at the Candlelight Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada
Child: Sophie Frederica Alohilani von Haselberg (born November 14, 1986)
Pet: A Jack Russell terrier named Puddles (a.k.a. Queen Puddles)
Charities: Adopt-a-Highway, Get Out the Vote, the Manhattan Restoration Project, and AIDS Project Los Angeles
MEMBERS OF THE HARLETTES
Melissa Manchester, Robin Grean, Merle Miller, Charlotte Crossley, Sharon Redd, Ula Hedwig, Diva Gray, Jocelyn Brown, Katie Sagal, Linda Hart, Jenifer Lewis, Siobhan O’Carroll, Helena Springs, Carol Hatchett, Melanie Taylor, Rhae Ann Theriault
MARK BEGO’S IDEA FOR A BETTE MIDLER ALBUM, PRODUCED BY BARRY MANILOW: WELCOME TO THE CONTINENTAL BATHS
“Wheel of Fortune”
“Sha-Boom Sha-Boom”
“Happiness Is a Thing Called Joe”
“Honky Tonk Woman”
“Lady Madonna”
“What a Difference a Day Makes”
“My Forgotten Man”
“Ten Cents a Dance”
“Come Up and See Me Sometime”
“Love Potion Number Nine”
“Great Balls of Fire”
AWARDS AND DISTINCTIONS
1972—Bette releases her first album, The Divine Miss M.
1972—After Dark magazine Ruby Award as “Entertainer of the Year.”
1973—Grammy for “Best New Artist of the Year.”
1973—Bette set a Broadway Box Office Record for her Palace show, which sold out three weeks running.
1974—Special-category Tony Award for her Palace Show.
1975—Bette’s hit Broadway show Clams on the Halfshell runs for eight months.
1976—Harvard’s “Hasty Pudding Award” for woman of the year.
1978—Emmy for “Outstanding Comedy or Variety Special” for Ol’ Red Hair Is Back.
1979—Bette stars in her first motion picture, The Rose.
1979—Academy Award nomination for “Best Actress” in The Rose (Sally Field won for Norma Rae).
1979—Golden Globe for “Best Actress” in The Rose.
1979—Golden Globe for “Best Newcomer to Film” for The Rose.
1980—“Entertainer of the Year” from Conference of Personal Managers West.
1980—Grammy for “Best Female Pop Vocal Performance” for “The Rose.”
1980—Golden Globe for best original song in a motion picture for “The Rose” (this award actually went to the songwriter, Amanda McBroom).
1982—Grammy for “Best Recording for Children” from In Harmony (A Sesame Street Record).
1983—Bette’s first music video, “Beast of Burden” with Mick Jagger, premieres on MTV.
1984—Bette hosts the first ever MTV Video Music Awards with Dan Aykroyd, live from Radio City Music Hall.
1986—Bette receives her own star on Hollywood Boulevard.
1986—Bette becomes a producer and forms her own production company, All Girls Productions.
1987—American Comedy Award for “Funniest Femal
e in a Motion Picture” for Ruthless People.
1987—American Comedy Award for funniest performance on a record for Mud Will Be Flung Tonight!
1987—American Comedy Award for “Funniest Female of the Year.”
1987—American Comedy Award for a lifetime achievement award for a female.
1988—American Comedy Award for funniest female in a motion picture for Outrageous Fortune.
1988—Acknowledged by ShoWest as box office star of the year.
1989—American Comedy Award for funniest female in a motion picture for Big Business.
1988—Bette’s first #1 song—“Wind beneath My Wings.”
1989—Grammy for Record of the Year for “Wind beneath My Wings.”
1989—Grammy for “Song of the Year” for “Wind beneath My Wings.” (this Grammy actually went to the songwriters, Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar).
1991—Grammy for “Song of the Year” for “From a Distance” (this Grammy actually went to the songwriter, Julie Gold).
1991—Academy Award nomination for Best Actress in For the Boys (Jodie Foster won for Silence of the Lambs).
1991—Golden Globe for “Best Actress” in For the Boys.
1991—Bette receives a Lifetime Achievement/Commitment Award from (APLA) AIDS Project Los Angeles.
1992—Emmy for outstanding individual performance for being the last guest on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.
1993—American Comedy Award for funniest female in a television special for her appearance as Johnny Carson’s final guest on The Tonight Show.
1993—Bette returns to the concert stage after ten years with her “Experience the Divine” tour. The show had a record-breaking sold-out thirty nights at Radio City Music Hall.
1995—Bette founded the New York Restoration Project.
1996—American Comedy Award for funniest supporting role in a motion picture for Get Shorty.
1996—Bette stars in The First Wives Club, her first movie to break $100 million at the box office.
1997—Women in Film Crystal Awards (trio of The First Wives Club received this award).
1997—Honored by the United Nations as an “Influential Woman Leader in the Environment.
1997—Emmy for Outstanding Performance in a Musical/Variety Program for Diva Las Vegas.
1997—Cable Ace Award for Best Performance in a Musical/Variety Program for Diva Las Vegas.
1998—American Comedy Award for funniest female in a television special for Diva Las Vegas.
2000—Bette’s CBS sitcom, Bette, premieres; it’s canceled after 18 episodes were filmed, and 16 were aired in America.
2001—TV Guide Award for “Actress of the Year in a New Television Series” for Bette.
2001—People’s Choice Award for “Favorite Female Performer in a New Television Series” for Bette.
GUIDE TO THE EPISODES OF THE TV SERIES BETTE, 2000–2001
1. “The Pilot”
Co-starring: Danny DeVito
First Broadcast in America: October 11, 2000
Synopsis: Bette is established as a sitcom replica of the Bette Midler the public has come to know over the past four decades. When her fictional husband, Roy (Kevin Dunn), falls asleep in bed before making love to her, Bette does a Lucy-like meltdown in the self-confidence department. She consults a plastic surgeon and invests in a sophisticated exercise machine that she can’t seem to figure out how to use. Bette further loses her grip on her family life when she tries in vain to act “hip” in front of her thirteen-year-old daughter Rose (Lindsay Lohan).
2. “And the Winner Is . . .”
Co-starring: David James Elliot, George Segal, Sharon Lawrence
First Broadcast in America: October 18, 2000
Synopsis: When Bette wins an award, she thanks everyone BUT her husband, Roy. Roy couldn’t care less, but Bette obsesses of ways to make it up to him. Finally, she drives her manager, Connie (Joanna Gleason), to seek out ANY sort of award that can be presented to her, so that she can thank Roy. She thinks she is getting an award from the American Film Institute, but she is getting something quite different at the end of the show.
3. “Halloween”
Co-starring: Dolly Parton
First Broadcast in America: October 25, 2000
Synopsis: Bette guest stars on Dolly Parton’s TV special, and she is thrilled with how well they both get along together. However, her feelings are hurt when she finds that Dolly has lavished wonderful gifts on Midler’s family, manager, and accompanist, Oscar (James Dreyfus). Simultaneously, it is the Halloween season, and Bette is dismayed that her daughter Rose (Marina Malota) feels she is too old to trick or treat. As a joke, Bette dresses up as Dolly and does some devilish pranks in the neighborhood. When her prank gets the real-life Dolly in trouble, Bette repeats the ploy—this time dressed as Barbra Streisand.
4. “Silent but Deadly”
First Broadcast in America: November 1, 2000
Synopsis: Stricken with a problem concerning her vocal cords, Bette is rendered speechless for twenty-four hours. Bette is determined not to let her mute condition disrupt her day. Roy thinks that she is mad at him and giving him the silent treatment to get even. This is the episode with the famous fart joke that neither Jack Nicholson nor Candice Bergan would perform. In the set-up gag, Bette takes the blame for someone else “cutting the cheese.”
5. “Two Days at a Time”
Co-starring: Oprah Winfrey
First Broadcast in America: November 8, 2000
Synopsis: Bette is invited to be part of one of Oprah’s televised book club discussion groups. It seems that Bette has overbooked herself for personal appearances that particular week. She shows up for Oprah’s book club and tries to mask the fact that she hasn’t read a single word of the book and has no clue what anyone is talking about.
6. “Color of Roses”
Co-starring: The Harlettes
First Broadcast in America: November 16, 2000
Synopsis: Bette invites her faithful accompanist, Oscar, to produce a song for her new album. However, always-in-control Bette won’t quit insisting on changing the proceedings. The song she is recording is the cut from her current Bette album, The Color of Roses. Along the way, she performs the song in a disco version, a rap version, a Jamaican reggae version, and even a gospel version. Finally, she decides to go with Oscar’s original concept, the simple ballad version of the song.
7. “In My Life”
First Broadcast in America: November 22, 2000
Synopsis: Bette presents several flashbacks of her fictionalized TV life, including how she and Connie met, how she and Oscar met, how she and Roy met, and the birth of her daughter Rose.
8. “I Love This Game”
Co-starring: Kobe Bryant, the Laker Girls
First Broadcast in America: November 29, 2000
Synopsis: Bette promises Roy floor seats to a Los Angeles Lakers basketball game at the Staples Center. She has to scramble to get the seats and finally gets her hands on them through star player Kobe Bryant. However, when she gets to the seats, Bette finds that she doesn’t like their positioning in the audience. In a comedy of errors, Bette dislocates Bryant’s finger and ends up swept into formation with the team’s cheerleading squad, the Laker Girls.
9. “. . . Or Not to Be”
Co-starring: Tim Curry, the Harlettes
First Broadcast in America: December 13, 2000
Synopsis: Bette wrangles her way into a production of Hamlet, starring Tim Curry. However, she has an anxiety attack, worried that she doesn’t have what it takes to cut the mustard with Shakespeare. Once she has the confidence, she turns her Shakespearean debut into a Divine Miss M production, complete with Harlettes.
10. “Diva Interrupted”
Co-starring: The Harlettes
First Broadcast in America: December 20, 2000
Synopsis: When US magazine announces its special issue, “The 50 Most Powerful People in Hollywood,” Bette is aghast to find tha
t she is not on the list. She hires a new publicist to get her some press. Everything backfires in her face when she tries to stage a fake nervous breakdown, so that she can make a miraculous recovery.
11. “True Story”
Co-starring: Joy Bahar, Lisa Ling, Merideth Vierra, and Star Jones
First Broadcast in America: January 9, 2001
Synopsis: Bette gets caught in a little white lie, which mushrooms into a nightmare, when she claims that she saved a drowning boy. The four hostesses of The View TV show want to have Bette on their show as a guest, along with the saved boy. Bette has to “cast” a boy into the role of the rescued lad, and neither Bette nor the kid can keep the story straight.
12. “Of Men and Meatballs”
Co-starring: Tony Danza
First Broadcast in America: January 10, 2001
Synopsis: Bette and her manager, Connie, leave town to have some fun. Bette wants to hook Connie up with a nice single guy, but they end up with twenty-something boys instead of men. Connie has her pick of a “Mama’s boy” and an overanxious stuntman.
13. “Big Business”
Co-starring: Fred Willard
First Broadcast in America: January 24, 2001
Synopsis: Caught up in the idea of having a product to sell on one of the home shopping TV networks, Bette decides to design an outfit to sell on the air. She insists on doing the designs herself, and the result is a hideous disaster of bad taste, which no one wants to purchase.
14. “The Invisible Mom”
Co-starring: Olivia Newton-John and her daughter Chloe Rose
First Broadcast in America: February 7, 2001
Synopsis: Bette decides to volunteer at daughter Rose’s school. However, when she is snubbed by another mom (Olivia Newton-John), she does everything she can to endear herself. Connie, meanwhile, stakes herself out in the girl’s lavatory, where she ends up giving relationship advice and talking frankly about boys.
15. “Poltergeist”
Co-starring: Jon Lovitz
First Broadcast in America: February 28, 2001
Synopsis: Bette’s new neighbor is comedian Jon Lovitz. However, his house is being remodeled, and he asks if he can stay with Bette. Wanting to appear generous, Midler lets him stay, while he slowly drives her nuts. He tries to convince Bette that there is a “black cloud” of misfortune over her house, and that she should sell. Lovitz has the best line; basting a turkey in Bette’s kitchen, with turkey baster in hand he announces, “Gobbles needs a bath.”