Scoring the Quarterback

by SM Soto

  “I almost did the same thing once,” she says, prompting me to look back at her. “I nearly pushed away the best part of my existence. The only person who truly made me happy. All because I was afraid of what the future held. But you know what? He fought for me anyway because that’s how much he loved me.” Her eyes water and I’m not sure if I should hug her or keep my hands to myself.

  “Fight for her, Luke. Please,” she whispers pleadingly. Abruptly, she spins on her heel and stomps back toward Sam. A second later, she whips around facing me.

  “You remember what I said asshole, because if I have to repeat myself you won’t like it!” She shouts, feigning anger. My lip twitches in amusement when I see Sam give her a high five, seemingly impressed with her. Sam flips me the finger before she and Aliza stride across the campus like they didn’t just both rip me a new asshole.

  “What was it? Threesome gone bad?” Jared asks, walking up behind me. “Fuck man, that looked crucial.” He laughs, pats me on the shoulder, not even offering me a hand up, and continues walking away chuckling. I shake my head and spend the rest of the day thinking about what Aliza said. Her situation was probably way different than ours, but I still have one question.

  Should I risk it all and fight?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Natalia

  I’m on my way to my car for work when a large shadow blocks my path. I look up from my phone and come face to face with Drew. It’s been a week since I last saw him. The day my heart was completely shattered into a million pieces.

  What could he possibly want?

  “Can we talk? It’ll be really fast, I promise.”

  I open my mouth to decline but decide to hear him out. I have almost two hours before work starts since I got out of class early. Time is on my side today.

  “Yeah, sure.” I cross my arms over my chest. It’s a defensive gesture, and I’ll do anything to protect my already shattered heart. Drew looks around the parking lot then back to me. He’s fidgeting, like something is bothering him, and it’s starting to put me on edge.

  “Drew?” I say cautiously. He blows out a deep sigh.

  “It was my fault,” he says looking sheepish. I furrow my brows in confusion.

  “Everything that went down that night…it was my fault. I got in Luke’s head at practice. He was just so out of it, I’ve never seen him like that so, I didn’t know what to do. We only have one shot at going pro, Natalia, and every second there’s some other player somewhere out there trying to be the next best one.”

  I nod my head in understanding. Listening to Luke talk about going pro made me smile because football is the one thing he’s so passionate about, that and his family. He explained how much of a big deal this final year is for him and his future career.

  “I know.”

  “No, you don’t. He was a mess…not because he regretted what happened between you two, but he didn’t know how to handle his feelings because he wanted to do it again. And Luke’s never done twice before. Ever.”

  I flinch just thinking about what a man-whore he is.

  He fucked your sister. Of course he’s a man-whore.

  “I told him he didn’t deserve you and that even if you guys tried to make it work, the distance would tear you apart. Then he got it stuck in his head that he’d ruin your whole life plan if he got involved with you.”

  My eyes widen, and my mouth drops open.

  “I know it was fucked up, but I needed him to understand that it would never work. I just needed my boy’s head in the game, and now…I’ve made it even worse. I’ve never seen him like this. He just studies, plays the game, and ignores everyone else around him.”

  I get a slight pang in my heart at hearing that. But then I remember watching him zip his fly after my sister left his room and I feel sick all over again.

  Tears sting my eyes. “That may all be true, but it doesn’t change the fact that he slept with my sister. Knowing how much she hates me. He intentionally hurt me, Drew.” My heart squeezes and my voice wavers with emotion. “And I don’t ever want to be associated with someone who does that to me.” I give him a sad smile and turn to walk away.

  “He never slept with her you know,” he says loudly, freezing me in place. My heartbeat kicks up and I whirl around to face him, feeling all the color drain from my face.

  “What?” I whisper. Hope now lines my chest.

  “He didn’t sleep with her. They just you know…messed around.” He shrugs. My heart falls and my lip trembles. I was hoping that just the thought of touching her would make him sick to his stomach, but I guess that wasn’t the case. Wishful thinking on my behalf.

  “It doesn’t change anything,” I whisper. Drew clenches his jaw and grinds it back and forth.

  “He loves you, and I know you love him. Sometimes we do stupid shit and make mistakes. Can’t you just give him the benefit of the doubt? I know you’re hurting…but so is he, Natalia.”

  A tear rolls down my cheek and plops onto my chest.

  “Goodbye, Drew.”

  With that I turn around and make a bee line straight for my car. Once I’m out of sight, I let the rest of my tears fall. I cry because I’m in love with someone who purposely broke my heart. I’m crying because, even though my sister lied, they still did something behind those doors, not even twenty-four hours after he touched me. I’m crying because now I know he loves me too, but there’s not a damn thing I plan on doing about it. There’s no doubt that I’ll always love Luke Caldwell. He was my best friend and the one I gave my virginity to. But I’m not stupid enough to make the same mistakes twice. Luke Alexander Caldwell is now a piece of my past.

  Once I get to work, I sit in my car, and shed a few tears before I have to clock in. Don’t want the girls to worry about me. Between Sam and Aliza, I swear they’re coddling me. When it’s five minutes till, I wipe under my eyes, and plaster a smile on my face. I work on staying focused, living in my own little bubble—refusing to let my emotions get the best of me here. I go through the motions while I serve the customers, smiling when it’s expected and making conversation only when it’s necessary.

  “How you holdin’ up babe?” Sam asks as she and Aliza slide into the seats across from me. We’re on the deck for our lunch break. I push the food on my plate around, not really having much of an appetite.

  “Better than I was yesterday, so that’s progress. Right?”

  Aliza smiles at me sadly before sharing a look with Sam. I hate that they’re so worried about me, but I really don’t have the strength to convince them otherwise.

  “It’ll take more than a few days Nat, but you’re a strong girl. You’ll get through this,” Aliza reassures me. I force a small smile for their benefit before I make an excuse to use the restroom. I use this alone time to shed a few tears before I head back for my shift.

  Once I get home from work, I eat, shower, and crawl into bed. I cry into the silence of my room, using the pillows to muffle my sobs. It still hurts just as bad as it did the day I walked in on them. It feels like I left my heart with him in his apartment. I can hardly breathe. I’m so tired of crying. I just wish I could forget him. I wish we could go back to the night we slept together, and I wish I had the will to say no. What I really wish…I wish I never met Luke Caldwell.

  ***

  It’s been two weeks since everything happened, and I miss Luke more and more each day. Every text message I receive, I open in hopes it’s from him, but it never is. I specifically told him to never speak to me again, and now I have to live with that decision. Even if it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

  It hurts. Not spending my free time with him. I’ve gotten so used to spending what felt like every minute with Luke that I don’t know how to live my life without him in it.

  Dramatic? Yes, I suppose it does sound a bit dramatic, but it’s the truth.

  I want to forgive him for everything, I really do. But for some unexplainable reason I can’t. Just when I’m on the verge of forgiv
eness, images of him and Gina taunt me, sending me backpedaling. The unknown is what’s killing me. If they didn’t have sex, what did they do instead?

  Did he enjoy it?

  Did he come just as hard for her as he did for me?

  Do I even want to know?

  The questions plague me, and because I don’t have the answers, I just sit around and let my mind wander, concocting all these scenarios. Just my fucked-up imagination. Every time I walk into my psych class, I expect to see him, but I never do. Part of me wonders if he dropped the class on my behalf. And I feel bad for it. Knowing how much he enjoyed the class, and how much hard work he put into the class.

  I’ve just finished gathering my stuff from my Abnormal Psych class when someone takes the seat next to me. I’m half hoping its Luke, but I know it’s not.

  Why would he even be in this class?

  We only shared one class together, and he hasn’t even showed. There goes my assignment partner.

  When I look up, I’m not surprised by the wave of disappointment I get when it’s someone else entirely. A guy with a close shaved buzz cut is sitting there smiling at me.

  “Can I help you?” I ask warily. The guy chuckles and I guess he’s kind of handsome in his own right. Nice build, perfect features, sweet smile. He’s boy-next-door cute.

  What’s not to like, right? I’ll tell you—he doesn’t have light brown tousled hair that’s the color of copper when the sun hits it. He has hair that I can’t run my fingers through. He doesn’t have hazel eyes that change color depending on his mood. He doesn’t have the perfect set of dimples when he smiles. He doesn’t make my heart skip a beat. He’s just not Luke Caldwell.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to impose or anything. I’m Aaron Cox.” He extends his hand to me. “I’ve been wanting to come over and say hi to you this entire semester, but I guess I never had the guts.” He blushes a bit and it makes me smile.

  “I’m Natalia Baldoni,” I say with a small smile and shake his hand.

  There’s no spark when our skin touches. No warm or tingly feelings. And most importantly, no butterflies. My smile falters a bit with that realization.

  “I was wondering if maybe I could get your number so we could go out sometime? Or whatever you want,” he says hopefully. I smile again, liking the fact that he seems shy and unsure of himself, so unlike Luke.

  Stop thinking about him!

  “Sure.” I jot off my number to him and we part ways with a brief goodbye. Within seconds, I have a message from him.

  Aaron: Hope we can get together soon, beautiful ;)

  The winky face at the end makes me laugh thinking back to a conversation I had with Luke a while back.

  “Seriously. Any guy who puts a winky face at the end of his message is a downright douchebag, or is trying way too fucking hard,” he says as he flips through the textbook. A laugh bubbles up my throat.

  “What? How do you figure that?”

  Luke looks at me with an expression that says, “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “Everyone knows this, Natalia. He’s either using the winky face to hide his douchery or he’s just a fucking weird loser who wants in your panties. It’s science babe.” He shrugs and grins, showcasing his dimples. I can’t help the huge smile that spreads across my face at his logic.

  I briefly find myself wondering what category Aaron would fit into. As much as I hate to admit it, Luke is usually disgustingly right about almost everything. Could Aaron be a douchebag? Or is he just trying too hard? I mean, he seemed pretty nervous even talking to me, so he’s probably just out of his comfort zone, trying too hard. I shake those thoughts away and head to my next class.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Luke

  It’s been three weeks since I last saw or talked to Natalia, and I’m starting to fucking lose it. All I have left is her damn contact picture on my phone that I stare at way more than is deemed normal. I stopped showing up to class so she wouldn’t have to see my face anymore, and I’ve otherwise tried to keep my distance, but it’s starting to get impossible. I feel like a dick for ditching her with our assignment, but, fuck, what else was I supposed to do? Force her to look at my face every day?

  Yesterday, I showed up at her work hoping I’d run into her. Luckily, she wasn’t there. Aliza informed me that she took the day off, which is extremely out of character for her. Aliza seemed like she wanted to say more but probably thought wisely. I haven’t forgotten about what she said, I just don’t know what to do about it. I was so sure what I did was the right thing, and now I’m not so sure anymore. I miss everything about her. The way her hips would sway as she walked. The way she smelled. Her laugh. That fucking gorgeous smile. I miss it all.

  The coach’s whistle signaling the end of practice cuts me out of my thoughts. I hustle into the locker room with the guys and strip myself of the sweaty clothes. I’m halfway done when Drew comes over with a solemn expression.

  “We need to talk bro,” he says seriously.

  I roll my eyes. Here we go again. It’s probably the same conversation he’s had with me every day this week. That I need to stop sulking and get my head in the game. What he doesn’t know is, I’ve tried. So fucking hard.

  “You know how Jared has connections with sorority row and a few other frat douches,” Drew starts off.

  “Yeah. What about it?” I ask, dragging a clean shirt over my head.

  “Well, I was hanging around with Jared before practice and I heard him saying something about Aaron Cox that might interest you.”

  I furrow my brows. Why the hell does that name sound familiar? “That’s the big slimey frat dude, right?”

  Why would I need to know anything about him?

  “Look man, word on campus is, he’s been dating Natalia.”

  Every muscle in my body stiffens, and I swear I crack a tooth from clenching my teeth so hard. I narrow my eyes at Drew, searching for any indication he could be lying. I know I have no right to be angry. I should be happy she’s moving on. But not with a guy like Aaron. Fuck no.

  “What the fuck did you just say?” I grind out.

  “Look, it was one thing getting her away from you, but we both know what that piece of shit is like. What he’s capable of. He plays the good boy act well until he has them right where he wants them.” Drew has the decency to look worried.

  “Mother fucker!” I growl. “Aaron Cox is million times worse than I am. He’s a walking date rapist. There’s no way in hell I’m letting him near her.”

  “I know, Luke. I know. We’ll figure it out. Just be cool for now, man. I know there’s still bad blood between the two of you.”

  Damn fucking right there is. I nearly broke his neck at a party a few years ago when I caught him forcing himself on a drunk chick. I may not be the greatest guy around, but fuck me, even I have morals. Shit was wrong on so many levels, and that isn’t the first time I’ve heard of that happening either. The dude’s completely fucked in the head. I’m not letting him anywhere near Natalia. Over my dead body.

  My heart freezes in my chest as a thought occurs to me. “Do you think he’s using her as his revenge against me?”

  Drew nods. “Can never be too sure with that sick fuck, but that was my guess. Everyone knew how close you two were getting. Gina’s been running her mouth, so pretty much everyone knows you and Natalia are no longer a thing.”

  Anger consumes me at the thought of his hands on my girl and I slam my fist into my locker, denting the whole fucking thing. Drew grips my shoulder.

  “Play it cool, Luke! We need a strategy. She needs to listen because if we go through him, he’ll only try harder.”

  I nod and breathe in and out, trying to calm my anger.

  Fuck, I hope she hears me out.

  ***

  Natalia

  I smile down at the text message Aaron just sent me as I walk across campus to my next class. He’s supposed to meet me there because that’s the class we share. He may not be Luke Caldwell, but he’
s a good distraction from all the pain that comes with Luke. We’ve only been on a few dates and hung out a few times, but overall, he seems like a nice guy. He makes me laugh, and I momentarily forget about the lingering pain in my chest. What I like the most about Aaron is the fact that between him and Luke—they are polar opposites, and for that, I couldn’t be happier.

  Pounding footsteps behind me get louder, catching my attention, prompting me to turn on my heel. My heart stutters in my chest at seeing Luke dressed in his practice gear. His tousled brown hair hangs haphazardly, the ends dripping near his eyes. His hair looks longer than it usually does, but it works for him. I can tell he’s been running his hands through it too.

  I haven’t seen Luke in three weeks—twenty-four days actually. And seeing him here, standing before me, I long to feel his warm body against mine, to just jump into his arms and forget any of this ever happened…but I can’t do that. No matter how badly I want to. Just seeing him here, within touching distance, makes my heart ache.

  His hazel eyes are greenish blue today and I find myself oddly transfixed by the mysterious colors. He’s dressed in a workout tank top with the Spartan logo that shows off his muscular body. I look him up and down briefly admiring his beauty before coming to my senses.

  Remember what he did to you.

  And I do. I remember it all. How he treated me. How he broke my heart. And how he ruined everything good between us. A scowl forms on my face and I narrow my eyes at him as my anger rises.

  “What the hell do you want?” I spit out venomously. Luke runs a frustrated hand through his shaggy brown hair. I’m monetarily transfixed on that small movement and the bulging muscles in his arm.