“Where are you going?” he asked, wrapping his arm around my stomach when I stood to leave.
I froze. “I was going to lie down.”
He pulled the hair away from my neck and tilted my head back toward him.
“There’s a bed here.”
I opened my mouth to ask if he was sure, but his kiss stopped me.
Chapter Thirty-Three
I stared at the last potion on the table in Kane’s basement. It was the black stuff that smelled like it was a decomposing body.
“You sure? This one is a rough one.” Kane stood and reached forward, about to pick up the rotting body and take the choice from me.
“No.” I grabbed the vial before he did.
He didn’t fight me for it, but he did say, “I’m not sure how much more of these you can handle.”
“I can take a little bit more.” I could take a lot more to have some control over my magic back. The memories and spells—it was if I could sense them right beneath the surface, taunting me.
He looked at me as if I’d just said the sky was neon purple.
“I can do it. I need to do it.”
He shrugged, as if to say, It’s your body.
Hands shaking, I threw it back, feeling pretty satisfied with myself when it didn’t immediately want to come right back up.
I woke as Kane was laying me on the couch in his office, mid-berating. “I don’t know why the hell I listen to you. Clearly you have no idea what your limits are.”
“Yes, I do.” I wiped a hand across my mouth, afraid I might’ve been drooling or something.
He stepped back and crossed his arms. “Really? Then why did you pass out?”
“I said I knew I could take it, as in it wouldn’t kill me. I didn’t say I’d stay awake through it.”
He stood at the edge of the couch, the comfy one I wasn’t budging from. “I don’t think that’s what you meant at all, but I’ll give you this one.”
“It definitely was.” I yawned, and my eyelids were getting heavy. “I might need a few more minutes before I can stand, though.”
He was smiling as he made his way over to his desk, something about this situation feeling comfortingly familiar. It made me think back to when I’d caught him looking at his couch at different points when I’d come here before.
“Did I use to nap here a lot?” I asked, as I watched him get comfortable behind his desk.
I saw the immediate tensing in his body. “Do you remember that?” he asked.
I let out a deep breath. “No.” Nothing had changed. My memories were still gone. I was starting to believe it didn’t matter how many potions I drank or what Kane could find for me next. They were gone.
Kane was fiddling with his phone, but I knew he was as disappointed as I was.
“The dent in the couch that conforms perfectly to me was a tip-off,” I said, trying to lighten up what felt like a ton of bricks falling on me.
He lifted his head. “There’s other potions out there, but a break might not be a bad idea.”
He didn’t think there was anything else out there that would work. Neither did I.
Before I could answer, a knock proceeded a sickly-sweet voice. “Kane?”
I don’t know if Dana had sucked on some helium before coming here, but that wasn’t what she’d sounded like when I heard her away from Kane.
I rolled my eyes as Kane said, “Come in.”
She sashayed over to his desk, pretending she didn’t see me right there, as obvious as could be. My stomach did a flip-flop with every step she took. Not that it mattered. Kane wasn’t even glancing at her. He liked me, and I had nothing to worry about. Yes, he didn’t say he liked me, but he did.
But I still couldn’t forget the picture of them laughing and standing at the bar.
“What did you need?” Kane asked.
She perched on his desk, leaning toward him as she crossed long legs. “I’ve got that thing you’ve been asking for.”
That got his attention. “You’re sure this time?”
“Yes.”
What was going on with them? What thing? I guessed telling all only went one way.
It didn’t matter. It wasn’t my business—as long as I didn’t see them sleeping together. Then I’d kill him.
He stood, waving her toward to door. “Dana, I’ll catch up with you in one moment.”
She walked out, continuing to ignore my existence.
Kane grabbed a set of keys sitting on his desk. “I’ll be back in a little while.”
He was watching me as he gathered his things and got ready to leave. He was waiting to see if I was going to have a meltdown of some sort.
“Okay.” Nope. No meltdown here. Do what you must. And if I find out what you have to do is something bad with her, then I’ll do what I have to, even if it kills me. And possibly him, too.
He walked closer to the couch. “You took a leap of faith last night. You’re not calling it quits already, are you?”
“I didn’t say a word.” I’d only thought it.
“Not trusting is easy. Trusting?” He let out a slow whistle. “I usually don’t trust anyone until I’ve known them for at least a decade.” He smiled. “But I trust you. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.”
If we were in a dark alleyway, I knew he’d have my back. That was a pretty large amount of trust. But my heart? That was a tougher one.
He leaned down, brushing his lips over mine. “You’re very cute when you’re jealous.”
“I am not jealous.”
He had the nerve to laugh at that before he left.
I banged on Flip’s door, not knowing what else to do, since Kane wasn’t back and my faith was wearing thinner by the hour. I’d been packed solid with faith for a good couple of hours. By eleven that night, my faith was waning.
She opened the door and I bulldozed my way in.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, watching me park myself on her couch.
“Nothing.” The word came from between clenched teeth.
“Nothing? Because it looks like we’re getting ready for another rainy season.” She sat down beside me, crossing her legs and muting Grey’s Anatomy. “You can’t look like you’re about to commit murder and say you aren’t. You have to have a reason or you’re crazy and need to be institutionalized.”
“I slept with him. Then he went out to do something with Dana and it’s almost midnight.” Wow, I was a lightweight with this withholding stuff all of a sudden. It was like a contagion that spread through you.
“Ohhhhh.” She nodded and leaned back, getting more comfortable.
“No, no ‘ohhhhh.’ Why aren’t you trying to make me feel better? I’m being irrational. Just because he went to do something doesn’t mean he’s going to sleep with her. You need to be telling me these things.” Maybe I should’ve tried Zee. Why had I thought Flip was the best one for this? Butch. I should’ve gone to him.
“I completely agree with everything you just said. Plus, he doesn’t like her like that. You might not know this, although I have told you, but I’m partially descended from Cupid. I know these things.” She patted my shoulder.
“You’re sure?” Maybe Flip hadn’t been the worst choice.
“I told you, it’s in my blood.” She sprang into a litany of her family tree. By the time she got to her great-great-grandmother on her mother’s side, I was rethinking Zee.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. “I have to go.”
Flip’s phone buzzed before I got to my feet. “So do I.”
“Kane?” I asked.
She nodded.
“You called?” I asked, layering on some frost. If Kane hadn’t, I’d probably have lain low until I accidentally bumped into him. Not that I was mad. I had no proof he’d done anything wrong. But him disappearing with her for hours certainly didn’t put me in my happy place.
But still, here I was, at his place, because when I knew Kane was looking for me, I had a hard time not ap
pearing. That was the biggest problem with Kane, besides all the others. And there were lots of problems. He was secretive, arrogant, bossy, and the list could go on and on…
But the biggest issue with him was how I felt about him. I was a sinking ship and I wasn’t even trying to bail out the water anymore.
Butch and Leon were already in Kane’s apartment, along with a girl who couldn’t have been older than eighteen. Her thick, wavy brown hair was half tucked into a sweatshirt way too big for her.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Kane walked farther into his apartment and pointed at the girl. “I want you to meet Tawny. She’s a very bright witch in from New York who has a gift with memories.”
My lips parted, but before I could ask, he shook his head. “We’re going to use her to start eliminating suspects that might be involved with what’s going on.” He turned to Flip, who was next to me. “Flip, why don’t you make yourself comfortable?”
She nodded, giving us some privacy.
“I’ve been using Dana to snoop around but she’s not good enough at memory spells to break through whatever is going on,” Kane said.
“You have?” I asked, thinking back to all those times I’d seen him with her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Initially?” He lifted an eyebrow, as if it were obvious.
He had a point. “I mean, once we were getting along.”
“The witches hate you and you hate the witches. I was working Dana over to get a name of the best person she had after she failed. She was happy to help, since it seemed to be annoying the hell out of you. You were annoying the hell out of me near daily, so”—he shrugged—“maybe I didn’t mind poking back a little.”
“Why didn’t you tell me today?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged again, and I wanted to shake him to death. He knew exactly why he didn’t tell me. He liked getting under my skin.
“That wasn’t nice.” I poked him right in the center of his chest.
“Neither was telling me to go screw right after losing your memory without so much as having a conversation about the situation.” He said it nonchalantly. Knowing how I felt now, if he’d done that to me, it would’ve been crippling.
I glance over at the girl, who looked barely more than a child. “Could she possibly… Is there any way she might be able to…” I ran my fingers over a lock of my hair.
“Possibly. But it’s up to you.”
I stared at him, and then bit my lower lip as I tried to hold back the tears. He believed me, finally, maybe more than I believed myself—believed that if I’d had something to do with the crawlers coming in, I’d been used somehow. That was all I needed. Just one person solidly in my corner.
He was watching me, waiting to see if I understood.
I nodded, just slightly, but that was all he needed, because he knew me.
“Okay. What do we need?”
Kane turned to the girl. “Tawny? Can you break down how this works?”
She fiddled with the rips in her jeans, clearly not used to being in a position of authority. “Um, I need hair from each person we want to look into. Like, a lot would be good, but I could probably make do with even a strand if I had to. Shit might be blurry, though. Nail clippings—now that’s the good shit, especially if you want me to look into vamps, since their hair is even deader than normal. Werewolf hair isn’t great either, but those suckers are so hairy that you can usually get a lot.”
“Who should we start with? There’s no lack of possibilities,” Leon said, his foot resting on the end table as he relaxed on the couch.
“We make a list,” Kane said.
“Frederickson is going to be tough, but I can handle him,” Flip offered.
“I’ll get Vincent,” I said. Out of everyone, he’d been the kindest to me. The least I could do was try and clear his name.
Butch went into a kitchen drawer and grabbed a pen and paper.
“Butch, grab me a pair of scissors,” I said.
He handed them over, and I cut a small chunk of my hair and then held it up. “Tawny, is this enough, or do you want more?”
“That’s fine,” she said, looking nervous.
I handed it to her. “I know it’s a long shot, but you never know.”
Butch settled in, beginning his list, and Leon and Flip gathered around him, as he wrote down anyone who could’ve been involved. Tawny got up, looking over their shoulders, although she didn’t have anything to add.
I’d been so overwhelmed with everything else going on that I suddenly realized I’d forgotten something. I made my way back to where Kane was standing.
“Abandinus,” I whispered into his ear. “Should I know that word? That’s your name, isn’t it?”
He smiled, leaned over, and brushed his lips against mine. That was all the answer I got. Turned out Kane had started his leap of faith before I’d even realized.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Abandinus. The only information that came up was a single bronze feather inscribed to him, calling him a god. At least the arrogance made sense. God of what, though? Figured if he was some type of god, he’d be the only god nobody knew anything about. Secretive to the end.
I pocketed my phone and headed into the “god’s” office. He better not think I was going to pray to him or anything. He might be a god, but he was still Kane.
The Keurig was humming, and I smelled the piping-hot French vanilla that Butch was waiting to get his hands on. I gave him a nod before turning my attention to the god sitting behind the desk, legs crossed, his heels propped on the surface. He looked more devilish than godlike.
A chair brushed my leg, but I didn’t sit in it. I wasn’t sure if this was going to be a friendly encounter after he heard what I had planned.
He was waiting, giving me his full attention. When Kane looked at me now, I saw the softness in his eyes, so different than when I’d first met him. I had no idea what Kane’s past was, but I knew I wanted him no matter what his dark history was. And it was dark. That I was sure of, god or not. I might not know the injuries and sins, but I could see the scars. There was a reason he’d been single for so long. Just as I had.
Sometimes when the wounds were too deep, the scar tissue that formed was tougher to penetrate. But I didn’t see scars or walls as he looked at me now. I saw the same longing that burned in my chest.
“You look tired.” His eyes didn’t leave mine as he waited for me to reply. He knew I was and why.
I didn’t answer, not even when his eyes said I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight, either. Although I hoped the coming lack of sleep wouldn’t be due to fighting.
“I wanted to let you know my plans for this afternoon. You’re not going to like them.” There, at least that was out of the way.
Kane leaned back and shifted, most of the softness disappearing as he geared up for a fight. “What are they?”
I smiled widely. “Before I tell you, remember, we trust each other now.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Let’s just say I might have to spend a lot of time on my knees praying to make up for it.”
“Then I hope it’s very bad,” he said, a gleam in his eye as the rest of the occupants of the room groaned.
I was sitting across from Vincent in one of the only places still open in Boston. It was a small coffee shop run by a couple in their eighties who said they’d rather die in Boston than leave. Kane had mentioned the place, while also mentioning how he liked their grit.
It was surprising they hadn’t been overrun with looters, since they were the only place left that had supplies. When I’d asked Kane about it, he shrugged as if he had no idea. He knew exactly why they hadn’t been. When I strolled in, I’d noticed some familiar faces hanging around the corner, all with yellow bandanas, which confirmed it.
“Thanks for meeting me here, Vincent.” I held my hands around the warm mug of tea.
“Of course. I’d been hoping you’d call,” he said,
leaning toward me and placing a hand on the table not far from mine.
“Sometimes I just need to get out of there, see a friendly face. I’ve been having a tough time of it. I wanted to tell you, I really appreciate the kindness you’ve shown me.” I reached a hand across the table and rested it on his.
“I really do want to be there for you.”
When he smiled, he looked so sincere that it made me want to spill my guts, lay it all out. But I wouldn’t. I’d agreed to terms with Kane before I came here. I’d adhere to them. And this was for Vincent’s own good.
I asked him how things were going for him lately, and he filled the time with talk about social politics and lots of fluff that didn’t really tell me anything of importance. Still, I nodded as if they were the most interesting things I’d heard all week.
When I asked about his boss, Frederickson, he gave the usually boss gripe. Again, nothing of use to me. Not that I was there for that, but a couple of gems of knowledge might’ve been nice.
I took the last sip of my tea. “I better get back. People are always monitoring my comings and goings over there.” That was especially true at the moment.
“I’ll walk you out,” he said, getting up as I did.
We made our way over to the Caddy I’d borrowed and stopped in front of the driver’s door.
I smiled, the way a girl smiled at a boy when she was interested. There was guilt involved in leading him on, but I’d clear his name and he’d be thanking me. You didn’t want Kane on your bad side, and Vincent was getting very close to making that list.
I ran a few fingers down the front of his shirt.
He stepped closer. “When I didn’t hear from you, I wasn’t sure.”
I closed the gap.
His lips covered mine, and I reached a hand up, running it through his hair and then tugging on it, as if I were so overtaken by his kiss. In truth, it wasn’t a bad kiss. But I wasn’t overtaken by anything. I had to force my body to soften, instead of the automatic reaction I had to Kane.
Kissed by the Dark Page 20