FILTHY (Reckless #2)

by HJ Bellus

  The tops of her breast peeking out of the top and the hem inching up way too close to the place where I need to be right now. I need her right now before she decides to try and run again. Darby opening up to me is something I never want to forget.

  I know it won’t be perfect, but something worth fucking fighting for. Last night, in the midst of one of her nightmares cracked me in the most odd way. It wasn’t the first time she’s woken up screaming and tearing at the sheets over the night Oliver died, but each time, the nightmare keeps getting worse. And with each one, I feel more guilt over being wasted and not taking care of him myself. She doesn’t know that I saw the fucking asshole trying to rape her. I’ve tried asking her questions about it, but she just pushes it away.

  I’ll never let her push me away again, as long as I live. It’s when I see her at her lowest that my true love for her really pours out. I’ve had to push away the scars Gia left me with, but I’m tired of living with them instead of living life.

  “Rhett, you okay?” My dad’s voice pulls me from my trance.

  “Uh?” I look up to him and realize the whole table is staring back at me.

  I twirl the brown beer bottle in my hand. “Fine.”

  “Not like you to not polish off your plate and everyone else’s.” Dad’s deep chuckle is welcoming.

  “Just wiped out,” I answer.

  “You better eat up. You’ll need your energy,” Darby pipes up.

  “For?” I ask, trying to embarrass the little shit.

  Darby’s face glows a crimson red. “You’re a growing boy.”

  “Why, yes I am.”

  Mom starts taking plates inside and Dad answers a phone call. I grab Darby’s hand and drag it under the table, letting her feel my hard cock.

  “I’m very much a growing boy, Darby.” I wink to her.

  “You’re so damn romantic, Rhett.”

  “You get the whole fucking fairytale with me, baby.”

  The baby monitor begins singing with Charlie’s cries. Darby’s up on her feet and off to get her before another word is said. Damn, little cock blocker. Thank god she’s cute and I love her.

  Darby’s back out on the patio with Charlie in tow with a fresh bottle in her mouth.

  “Sit with me.” I pat my lap and open my arms.

  Darby takes her time settling in my lap, making sure I have a perfect view of little Charlie. She’s a damn ringer for her mother, but I see some rebellious Zane in those baby blues.

  “She’s so sweet,” Darby mumbles, while stroking her cheek with her free hand.

  “Yes, she’s perfect,” I whisper.

  Charlie’s eyelids flutter as she sucks from her bottle. She’s fighting sleep, but it doesn’t take very long before she’s out, but still nursing the bottle.

  “Do you want kids, baby?” I have no idea where the question came from.

  Darby shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t have any of this that you have. My life growing up sucked donkey dick; not sure I’d be the best mom material.”

  “I wish you could see yourself with Charlie.” I kiss the top of her shoulder.

  “Do you want kids, Rhett?”

  “Never thought I did until Charlie.”

  “But now?” She looks over to me.

  “Now?” I pause. “I see myself with kids with you and only you.”

  Darby stares at me in awe like she didn’t expect that answer from me.

  “But I have several years ahead of me devouring you before we introduce a little cock blocker in our relationship.”

  Her loud cackle startles Charlie, but she’s quick to soothe her back to sleep. We sit in silence, admiring the bundle of joy finishing her bottle. I take Charlie from Darby, carefully laying her on my chest and then begin patting her back. Darby quietly gets up and helps my mom finish clearing the table.

  Charlie’s rhythmic breathing eases my soul like it always does and even though she’s out, she lets out a few loud belches. My mom takes her from me, goes to lay her down, leaving the two of us alone. Darby clutches the baby monitor and tells my mom she’ll keep an ear on it.

  I open my arms wide again for Darby to take a seat in my lap. She folds her body into mine, snuggling into my chest, and stroking her fingers over my bare chest, stroking more of my skin. God, I want more than anything for her to unbutton my shirt the rest of the way and have her palms all over me.

  “Thank you, Rhett.”

  “For?” I take a long pull from lukewarm beer.

  “For always taking caring of me. I know you have lots of other worries and a life to live, but you’ve never left my side since that night.”

  “And I never will.”

  Her finger lingers down my arm until she’s tracing the lines on my inked sleeve. Her touch does something to me that is unexplainable; all I know is it makes me crave her more.

  “I’ve been thinking about something, Darby.”

  “Sex,” she answers.

  “Well, that too, but I want to show you something.”

  “Okay.”

  I stand up and make sure she’s on her feet before, but start walking down the steps.

  “Wait.”

  I turn to her.

  “I want a ride again.”

  A wide smile spreads across my face. “Baby, any time of the day this ride is open.”

  I bend over just enough for her to jump on and then make my way across the tall pasture. Mom’s always been an avid horse lover, and my dad not so much so. But he loves her so much, he’s tended green pastures for her horses year after year.

  “Where are you taking me?” Darby asks while licking the tender part of my neck.

  “See that little shed,” I turn my head to her just to inhale her scent.

  “Yeah, that white one?”

  “Yep, that’s where we’re going.”

  “Rhett…never mind.”

  Darby continues to nip at my neck with her tongue and teeth, and I know exactly why she likes to ride on my back. She loves to drive me nuts, but I’ll play it cool because deep down I fucking adore it. In fact, it’s these moments in time where she devours me that I live for.

  “Okay, close your eyes, baby.”

  “Why?”

  “Close your fucking eyes, Darby.”

  I give her enough time to take in the run down shack with its peeling paint and old door hanging on it’s hinges. The familiar squeaking of the door fills the air as I step in and intake the fresh wood scent.

  “Open your eyes.”

  I really wish I could see her face in this moment, but I keep her safely tucked on my back.

  “Holy shit.”

  The audible gasp after her comment satisfies my need to see her reaction.

  “Put me down, Rhett.” She taps on the tops of both of my shoulders.

  I gently set her down and step back to lean on a pillar, watching her take in the only masterpiece I’ve ever truly worked on. The only other person to see the inside of the shack is Zane. He’s had to help me with a few odds and ends.

  “What is this?” Darby covers her mouth in shock and turns to me.

  “It’s my therapy,” I simply reply, studying her reaction.

  “Rhett, seriously.”

  I take one step forward, wrapping my arms low around her waist, and pulling her into me. “You thought I’ve been with Zane’s old clients.”

  She only nods, still looking around and taking everything in.

  “Well, I only kept that gig for a few weeks and passed it on to the next guy in line.”

  “What do you mean?” Darby continues to take in the inside of the shack.

  “I mean, I started this before you and continued while you thought I was fucking for money. It’s mine and I want us to move in here together.”

  “Why? What?”

  “We’re doing this thing together, right?” I don’t wait for her to answer. “So, I want us to move into the place I’ve restored.”

  “Holy shit, Rhett.”

 
I grab Darby’s face and force her to look at me. “Move in here with me.”

  She finally nods after several seconds of silence. “I’d ask why now, but I think I know why.”’

  “Say it.” My lips move on hers.

  “You’re letting me in.”

  I remain frozen as her lips move back to mine, and my body finally relaxes for the first time today since opening up to her. Darby doesn’t have to say it too for me to believe her. I see it in her expressions and the way her body molds to mine with no reservation. We have so much to work through, but it’s a fight worth fighting.

  “Rhett, tell me about this.”

  I guide her over to the old sofa, the only piece of furniture in the shack. It’s Mom’s old couch. I wait until she’s settled in my lap.

  “I have an idea, baby, every night before we go to bed we share something about ourselves that we’re afraid to tell the world.”

  “You first.” She snuggles deeper into my lap and undoes each button of my shirt, until she’s peeling it off my arms.

  Each of her fingers run and down my chest, then begin tracing each of my tattoos. The feeling of her skin on mine is enough to hypnotize me into believing everything will be okay.

  “Everything you see in here is me. This old shack was on the place when Mom and Dad bought it. It use to be mine and Zane’s hangout and then as I got older, I found my true love. Working with wood and creating stuff.”

  I feel her slight giggle vibrate off my chest. “You said wood.”

  My hand finds her ass, sneaks up under her dress, and gives her a hard slap. “And this is why you’re so easy to love, Darby. I refinished the floors, made the cabinets from hand, and finished every single piece.”

  “And the tiny details?” She moves her hand from my chest and points to the router work on every surface.

  “That was me,” I answer honestly, and it may be the first time pride coated my voice.

  “Why is this you?” she asks.

  I don’t know if I have enough courage to answer that yet.

  “Okay, then why does the outside look like shit and the inside like a palace fit for a king or queen?”

  He raises an eyebrow at me. “You mean a king and queen.”

  She only giggles, not acknowledging my last comment. I haven’t seen Darby this carefree…I take a second to think about it. Well, I don’t think I ever have and it makes me realize that Oliver isn’t the only demon that haunts her dreams at night.

  “Don’t avoid the question.” She lazily drags her fingers the length of the ink on my arms. “Why is this you, Rhett?”

  God, the sound of my name rolling off of her tongue does things to me. Things I thought I’d never feel again and even feelings I’ve never felt before.

  “Guess it’s my turn to go first tonight sharing something about me. I love working with my hands. Woodworking, running big machinery, or strumming your sweet center until it’s soaked.” I pause and kiss her lips lightly, steadying myself for what I’m about to share with her.

  I take the coward’s way out and don’t make eye contact with her. My eyelids shut tightly and I keep my lips pressed to hers. My parents and Zane have protected me, shielding the world away from my deep secret. It’s the reason I’ve turned to being a cocky jokester.

  “I can’t read.” The words roll of my tongue floating into Darby’s parted lips. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, never wanting to forget how her deep brown eyes looked at me before I shared this.

  Darby doesn’t say a word or even flinch. I feel her move around in my lap, never letting her lips leave mine until her arms are wrapped around my neck and her legs hugging my waist. When she’s settled she still doesn’t talk, but only drops her forehead to mine and kisses me lightly. Her lips don’t leave mine when the kiss is over.

  I finally find the courage to continue. “Severe Dyslexia. I think my mom finally gave up on the whole reading thing by the time I was in the fourth grade. Don’t get me wrong she did everything she could, but the frustration level was too high and she threw in the towel. Both of my parents’ patience were tried and tested, but they finally gave up…”

  “It’s the reason you can’t work with your dad.” Her lips move on mine and I only nod to answer her.

  “I’m not dumb, Darby.”

  Her tender lips turn up into a smile on mine. “You’re sweet, sexy, funny, annoying, kind, dependable, an ass, a jerk, and I love each one of them about you. Thank you for sharing.”

  Her fingers run up the back of my neck until they’re tangled in my hair. She has no idea fucking how soothing her fingers are when they dance in my hair.

  “I don’t have a college degree or a fancy job, but this is my passion. Restoring the inside of old houses, creating masterpieces with my hands, and creating something out of nothing.”

  “You’re a genius, Rhett.” She kisses me again lightly while tugging on my hair. “Please open your eyes.”

  I listen to her even though it pains me to look at her now. Tears of panic threaten, but I refuse to let them out.

  “Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you for being everything from a sweet lover to demanding and punishing between the sheets. You coat me in everything I need and somehow put me in check. You’re everything, Rhett.”

  Her smile is sweet, but also more honest than it’s ever been. The flash in her eyes portrays her genuine feelings, making my heart soar.

  “Thank you.”

  I know my voice should be booming with pride and excitement right now, opening up to the woman who's stealing my heart, but it’s laced with a combination of uncertainty and total lack of self-confidence. Whenever I take the time to think of everything I can’t do and the way my brain is wired which holds me back, it always seems to throw me into a negative tailspin.

  “You do realize that you just thanked me for calling you everything from an ass to a sweet lover?” she asks with her smile still planted on her face.

  I shake my head slowly from side to side and then finally lay my head back on the couch. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “You don’t. I mean, I’m pretty much perfection and royalty.” She slaps my chest. “Rhett, we deserve each other and everything destined to come our way.”

  Her last sentence holds no tones of laughter or joking. I don’t respond, keeping my head tilted back, and my stare on the ceiling. The shack turns into a deafening silent hell. Or is the opposite of hell? Have I been living in my own personal prison and now being stripped away from it? Whatever it is, it isn’t easy. Love is a bitch and I’m finding out just how hard it is to truly open up to someone.

  Hell, Gia didn’t even know this secret. I’d become the master in high school, fooling everyone with looks, personality, and dick. Yes, my dick has gotten me through most of it. Thank fuck it’s talented.

  I feel her lips on my exposed neck. She lays gentle kisses on it, slowly making her way down to my chest. With her movement and the delicate touch of her lips on my flesh, the pain slowly begins to disappear. Thoughts of realizing I’ve never truly been in love until her surface. Darby’s tongue makes slow circles around one of my nipples, until she bites down on it.

  A deep growl escapes me as her teeth sink into the sensitive skin. The noise escaped me recklessly and without thought. Very symbolic of our relationship. She moves to the other nipple, repeating the same action. It’s with each lick and bite that I realize the power is in us to fix us, only if we rely on being honest.

  My hands finally join the party on my lap. They go to my favorite place of hers, well one of the dozen favorite places on Darby’s body. My fingertips sink into her hips. I repeat the same guttural growl when her teeth sink into the other nipple. Darby licks her way further down my chest and crawls out of my lap.

  My hands are empty and lonely, and it’s not a sensation I enjoy at all. When Darby’s soft skin is in them, I feel everything from fear to sadness, to something even more powerful than love. I feel everything. Everything. It’s what she told m
e I was. It wasn’t what I was to her, but who she thinks I am. I’m slowly starting to believe her.

  Her fingers have the button on my pants undone and unzipped. The pads of her fingers sneak under my boxers. I don’t take the time to enjoy her touch, because I owe her so much more.

  “No, Darby.”

  My voice startles her, and she looks up to me with a puzzled expression while resting back on her heels.

  “Move in here with me.”

  She simply nods her head and my heart leaps in my chest. For all I know, the fucker just did a backflip. It’s a first for me.

  I stand up over her and feel more empowered than ever before with her on her knees at my feet. It’s not what you think. I’m not looking down on her like I’m superior or own her. It’s just the opposite. This girl fucking owns me. She’s still here with me, expressing her love with words, even if she doesn’t outright say it, and showing it to me with her body.

  “I wanted to make love to you at Zane’s.” I guide her up until she’s standing. “And now nothing is going to stop me from making love to you.”

  Our stare is deep and I keep it while reaching down for the hem of her dress. It pains me when I pull it over her head because her rich brown eyes disappear for a second, but they come right back.

  Darby reaches behind her to release her bra, but my hands stop her. I place her long arms back down by her side and release her glorious tits from the lace bra, letting it drop to the floor. She doesn’t go for her dainty panties, probably knowing I’d do the same thing. My lips ache to touch hers, drink her in forever, but I muster up some self-control.

  This time is going to be different. It’s not going to be like our first night together in the parking lot of the strip joint, where our two horny and drunk bodies ravished each other. And it’s certainly going to be different than me being harsh and controlling, with my hands clutching her throat and my cock pounding into her. Darby isn’t going to be on her knees deep throating my cock or me with my face between her legs lapping up her juice. This time is going to be different. It’s going to be our first.

  I take my time pushing down her last piece of clothing, which is barely a scrap of lace. Darby steps out of them, not breaking our eye contact. I push down my last piece of clothing and step out of them.