FILTHY (Reckless #2)

by HJ Bellus

  “He died,” I whisper into Ava’s ear. “He died, and I was at his headstone.”

  I push back, and run my hands down my front and exhale when I don’t feel a baby.

  “Jesus, it felt so real.” Tears burst from me.

  My eyes ache with each tear that drops. I killed my father. His goons shot Rhett and then cops shot them. It was complete and utter chaos, but I was only focused in on holding Rhett to me as long as possible. The paramedics rushed in way too soon. It was bittersweet because I didn’t want to let him go, but knew I had to.

  The cops ordered the paramedics to work on him first. I stood over my dad’s dead body listening to the officer call in on the radio to apprehend my mother. His men bled out on the carpet of the hotel room.

  “Thank you,” I whispered to the familiar detective’s face.

  “Go to the hospital. We’ll be by later to question you.”

  “He’s still alive.” Ava grips my face, forcing me to look at her. “He’s fighting on the operation table for you, Darby. You have to stay strong.”

  She shoves a bag of clothes in my hands. “Go change.”

  “I don’t want to take him off of me.” I look down to the blood soaked clothes.

  She grabs my hand, not giving me a chance to disagree. She locks the door to the bathroom off the waiting room. I stand frozen, staring in the mirror at my wild hair and blood covered clothes. I run the pads of my fingers over the stains on my shirt, struggling to hold onto the last pieces of Rhett.

  Ava drags down my pants and panties and then gently pulls my shirt over my head. I break down into sobs when I see the burns on my abdomen and Rhett’s blood stains. My body wracks to the point of pain. Ava’s arms wrap around me and she just holds me while smoothing down the back of my hair.

  “I’m so mad at him. Why did he do that?” I ramble on. “He told me to shoot and attacked them. He wouldn’t back down and was shot.”

  “Pray, baby girl, pray to God. Rhett is fighting for you. You need to fight for him.”

  My skin pricks with fear and trembles with sadness. The thought of living life without him wretches my gut.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Ava turns on the faucet and starts wetting paper towels. “There’s a shower down the hall. Would you prefer that?”

  I shake my head side to side, staring at my naked figure in the mirror. I don’t even recognize myself through the haze of confusion. Ava’s tenderly wiping away the blots of blood over my burns. I feel nothing as she cleans me up. The rapping sound of the paper towel dispenser makes me flinch as she continues to clean me up.

  “Raise your foot.” She slides a fresh pair of panties up my legs. I let her dress me and obey all her commands until I’m in loose sweats and a tank top.

  She uses her pointer finger to poke down my boobs.

  “Jesus, how do you hoist these things around?”

  We both share a giggle at the fact I’m busting out of Ava’s bra.

  “They wouldn’t let us into your hotel room since it’s a crime scene.”

  I wipe confusion off my brow. “When did you get here?”

  “Oh, sweetie, we’ve been here for a half a day.”

  “Jesus, it’s like I’m in a tunnel that never ends.”

  “You were only by yourself for a few hours. When you saw Zane’s face, you went ballistic and a nurse gave you a shot.”

  “I don’t remember any of it.”

  “It’s shock. They wanted to put you in a room, but Zane talked them into letting you stay in the waiting room with us.” She unlocks the door and opens it for me.

  Zane is still pacing the tiny waiting room. The pain on his face crushes me and I have to force my gaze from him.

  “Where’s Charlie?” I ask, taking a seat.

  “We left her with Rhett’s parents. We left after Zane got off the phone with Rhett. He didn’t have a good feeling about any of it.”

  “Thanks,” I whisper, fumbling with my fingers.

  “I was too late. Too fucking late.” Zane plops down on the other side of me and buries his hands in his face.

  I react by stroking his back. His body shudders and it’s no secret he’s crying. Ava kneels down in front of us, grabbing our hands. “We need to pray. Pray for Rhett.”

  We sit in a small circle connected by the palms and Ava speaks first. “Dear God, put your hands on the surgeon's hands helping them bring Rhett back to us. Be there by his side and help him fight. God, please, we beg of you to bring our family member back.”

  She gives me strength and I follow suit. My words don’t flow as easily as hers. Mine are sabotaged my sobs. “God, I need my other half to survive in this world. Bless the surgeons, may their hands be stealthy in fixing Rhett. Let Rhett know we are here for him. Give him the strength to fight for his future. Please, God, return my love to me. I’m filthy without him living with all of my scars and demons. I need him to be free again from it all. I love you, Rhett.”

  “God.” Zane’s deep voice sends chills down my spine. “You gave me a best friend and a brother in Rhett. You’ve kept us safe all the days here on your Earth. I ask of you to continue. God, I lay at your feet knowing you’re my creator and maker. I’m a selfish man of flesh and need Rhett in my life. He’s a child of yours, but let us keep him here for many more years. Amen.”

  “Amen,” I whisper.

  The time ticks by slowly. The hands on the clock freeze.

  26

  Darby

  When Rhett’s parents enter the waiting room carrying Charlie, I crumble again. Just when I think I have it together and can be strong something hits me. The detectives have come and gone seeming satisfied with everything. They reassured me that my mother was in custody and being charged.

  They found a file in my dad’s car. It held everything to make me disappear. The only thing he hadn’t calculated in was Rhett being by my side. The legal process is long from being over, but soothed a piece of me.

  “Any news?” his mom asks with tears rolling down her face.

  Ava grabs Charlie, hugging her tightly and raining kisses on the top of her head. Zane crowds his little family, kissing his baby girl and then taking her from Ava’s arms.

  Ava talks for us. She seems to be the backbone of the group. “He’s been in surgery for twelve hours now. They just updated us that the doctor will be out shortly to talk with us.”

  “He’s alive?” she sobs.

  His dad clutches her to his side and guilt nails me in the gut. I’ve taken their son away from them. They hate me and I can’t blame them.

  “He’s alive,” Ava reassures her, grabbing her hand.

  An awkward silence floats in the waiting room and I feel like I’m unwanted. I fold my arms low around my waist and sink into my own personal hell.

  “Darby,” his dad’s voice booms.

  He has me wrapped up in a hug before I can respond. His mom joins the hug, squeezing me tight and crying with me.

  “He loves you, Darby. He loves you so much,” his dad whispers.

  “I’ve never seen my son so happy,” his mom adds.

  “I’m sorry, so sorry, but he wouldn’t listen to me.”

  His dad pulls back, staring down at me. “Does that surprise you? The stubborn shit hasn’t listened a day in his life.”

  We all share a laugh that lifts the pressure.

  “I just want to hear him call me baby again,” I say, taking a seat between his parents.

  Another few hours pass before a doctor enters the room. “Rhett Westburn’s family?”

  We all answer at the same time. He closes the door behind him, takes off the surgical cap on his head, and pulls a chair out from across us. My vision zones in on the droplets of blood on top of his clogs. It’s Rhett’s blood.

  My breathing grows out of control. The fear is gripping. He’s here to tell us his dead. The doctor reaches across and places his hand on my knee.

  “He made it through surgery.”

  I let out some fea
r, but know there’s a very big but coming.

  “He’s in critical condition and I’ll be blunt, the next twenty-fours will be touch and go. We lost him twice during the operation and had to use the paddles. He’s a fighter.” The doctor offers up a weak smile.

  “We know.” Ava doesn’t hide her tears anymore.

  “A bullet entered the side of his neck.” The doctor points to the exact spot on his own neck. “The bullet went down, grazing his spinal cord, and landing in his opposite shoulder blade. There are pieces of shrapnel that we couldn’t get out of his shoulder.”

  Rhett’s mom wails uncontrollably to the point the doctor stops talking for a few moments.

  “I wish I could tell you more, but the cold truth is, time will tell.”

  “Tell what?” Zane asks in a demanding tone.

  “If he’s paralyzed. The extent of the damage. He suffered a stroke on the table, and that alone will take at least seven days to tell how much of his brain was damaged.”

  The heave my stomach produces is uncontrollable. I race to the bathroom, but it’s too late. The heartache spills all over the floor.

  27

  Darby

  “I could get used to this.” I pet the nearly full beard on his jawline. “You don’t talk back.”

  I kiss his cheek and continue reading my latest blog post out loud, proofing it for mistakes. I’m not supposed to be curled up in his bed in ICU, but the nurses are tired of fighting with me.

  Rhett’s woken up three times in the period of seven days, but each time he’s in such grueling pain, thrashing around in the bed, the doctors have been forced to place him back in an induced coma.

  They all have faith and were quite frank about being surprised he made it twenty-four hours after surgery. He’s a medical miracle. Now only if he’ll wake up.

  Ava and Zane returned home and are flying back out in a few days. Rhett’s parents have remained by his side and mine. They treat me like family. His dad has accompanied me to the police department a few times, while his mom stayed back with Rhett.

  The official report cleared Rhett and I of any wrongdoing. Several police officers that witnessed the horrific scene testified and signed off. My mom is out on bail, but under strict watch. She doesn’t worry me because, without my dad, she doesn’t have a backbone.

  Ava’s parents showed up one night at the hospital and I thought Zane was going to shred them, but he controlled himself. Her mom wrapped Ava up in a hug and told her how much she loved her. Her father remained stone cold leaning up against wall. He didn’t want anything to do with the scene. I’m sure the negative publicity it would draw was the only thing running through his head.

  Ava told me her mom whispered that she’s leaving her dad and apologized over and over. She held Charlie and cried openly. Before she left, she went to Zane and wrapped her arms around him thanking him for taking care of his daughter. He didn’t know how to react. But the fact at least one of her parents came to their senses realizing there’s more than politics to life made everything worth it.

  “Do you think I should describe this skort as periwinkle or lavender?” I show the sleeping Rhett the screen.

  “You’re right. Periwinkle is more demanding.” I kiss his cheek again and slap my laptop shut. I cuddle down into his side and stroke his beard. I need him.

  “When I get out of this bed, I’m going to kick your ass.”

  I shoot straight up to see Rhett’s eyes wide open.

  “Rhett.” I cover my mouth. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m stuck in this fucking bed being tortured by fashion day after day. Fuck no, I’m not.”

  “Nurse!” I yell.

  I see him wince and feel terrible, but greedy all in the same moment. I lean down and place my lips on his, kissing him lightly. He parts his lips, and I move the oxygen from his nose. His tongue darts out, licking between my lips. “Thank you, God, thank you,” I mumble onto his lips.

  The nurses rush in and aren’t shy about pushing me to the side. I’m overjoyed he’s not screaming in pain and let them do their work. His doctor is at his side in a matter of moments. I’ve worried day and night he’d be stuck in surgery and not able to assess Rhett when he wakes.

  I’ve Googled way too much about his condition and of course all the worst case scenarios stick in my mind.

  “Lay down, Rhett.”

  I hop up on my tip toes to see Rhett trying to sit up. I squeal in delight and hop up on a chair. “Oh my God, baby! Rhett.”

  The tears of joy roll down my cheek. He’s not paralyzed.

  “Get her out of here,” his doctor growls.

  I don’t fight when a nurse grabs my shoulders, leading me from the room. I race down the hall and out to the waiting room. I’m sure I’m breaking umpteen rules in the ICU and don’t give two fucks. There’s only one visitor allowed in ICU and his mom and I’ve been taking shifts.

  “He’s awake,” I scream before rounding the corner to the waiting room. “He’s alive and trying to sit up.”

  The tears don’t stop and it’s never felt so good to cry in my life. His mom jolts up out of her seat tossing her crossword to the floor.

  “Thank you, God.” She clasps her hands over his mouth.

  I wrap her up in a hug. “He’s awake. He’s fucking awake.”

  I cringe at the use of the eff bomb, but continue to giggle and celebrate this milestone.

  “He’s awake?” We both turn to his dad holding two cup of coffee.

  “He’s awake and fighting to sit up.” Chills prick my skin.

  He sets down the coffee and collapses into a chair, letting out wracking sobs. He’s kept it together for us girls this past week.

  I dig through my oversized bag looking for my cellphone and speed dial Ava.

  “You’re on speaker. Trying to get dinner done and entertain Charlie.”

  “He’s awake. He’s trying to sit up. He’s awake.” I’m a parrot on repeat.

  Zane and Ava’s unison of deafening cheers fill the line. It’s the best sound I’ve heard in a really, really long time.

  28

  Rhett

  Everything aches from the roots of my hair down to my big toe, but it’s nothing compared the endless tunnel of darkness. I could feel her by my side, crying on my chest, and reading to me. I had to battle to overcome the darkness. Sheer pain would attack my soul when I flicked my eyes open, but the day Darby went on about periwinkle it forced me to wake up.

  “I’m not a pussy, Darby,” I growl for the hundredth time while going through airline security.

  She has me strapped down in a wheelchair and practically wiping my ass for me. My left shoulder is in a sling and the sorest part of my whole being.

  “Stop, asshole. Let me do it.”

  “I can’t wait until I’m healthy enough to slap your ass and take you.”

  “Me either.” She bends over and wiggles her ass in my face as she unlaces her shoes.

  I reach out and cup one of her cheeks in my palm and growl. I don’t miss the stink eye the security officer sends my way, but I could care less. I’ve earned the damn right to grab that ass anytime I damn well please.

  “Be a good boy and I’ll ride that glorious cock of yours when we get home.” She kisses the tip of my nose and goes behind the chair.

  “Thank fuck it wasn’t shot off.”

  We both laugh at the joke. It’s a sick one and a bit twisted, but between the detectives and mental evaluations at the hospital we’ve relived the nightmare enough. Darby’s cried buckets of tears telling me about her nightmare and the thoughts of me being paralyzed. I held her and soothed her the whole time. I couldn’t be a happier man with her in my arms.

  We’ve both avoided the topic of my shoulder and act like it’s not going to be a big deal, but the reality is it will be a big deal. I’m going to have to endure hours and hours of physical therapy, and will more than likely end up with limited mobility. No more running big machinery or woodworking. I’ll be wor
thless.

  I don’t dwell on that fact considering everything else I have in my life right now. Darby fusses over every single step of boarding the plane. I’d rather be tucked away in the far back with her, but my dear mother booked us first class seats. I take the blanket she offers me and place it over my lap. She’s busy texting arrival times to notice me fumbling underneath it.

  “Ready to go home?” she asks with a bright smile.

  “I’m ready to go to our home.” I grab her hand and place it under the blanket. My cock is throbbing for her touch.

  Her eyes grow to the size of golf balls. “My naughty boy.”

  29

  Darby

  “Thank you for everything.” I hug Ava, and sit back watching Rhett and Zane shoot the shit.

  He refuses to go home and rest. I let him be and just enjoy him. I worry every second about him. Is he going to fall, morph into out of control pain, be able to use his arm again, and everything between.

  “She’s so close to crawling.” Ava points to Charlie who's in the process of rocking back and forth on her hands and knees.

  “Isn’t she too young for that?”

  “Fuck that shit. I used to follow the stages and the what baby should be doing, and I threw it out the window.”

  “Wild Momma.” I pat her leg.

  “Zane practices with her every night. It’s hilarious he’s actually convinced he’ll teach her how to crawl. He watched some baby tamer shit on YouTube.”

  “Just don’t let him teach her how to dance.”

  “Not funny. Not funny at all, Darby Frye.” She stands and heads back in the house.

  “What’s not funny?” Rhett asks.

  I go over to him and he pulls me down into his lap. I remain frigid, afraid I’m going to break him. “Relax, baby. I feel better with you on me.” He whispers in my ear, nibbling on the lobe.