by Joy Carlson
Of course just like you can look at the women around you and try to figure out which ones have had abortions, it may be harder to try to figure out which men you know are the ones who impregnated a woman who later had an abortion, or even those who have had sex of some type with women to whom they are not married. Of those who have not had sex with women they are not married to, and even men who are married, many may still fantasize about having sex through pornography, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit addition, other magazines, films, clubs, or bars, or any number of places and ways. When I say fantasize, I do not mean just the imaginative anticipation but going through the whole act in one’s mind. All of this is accepted in society.
Abortion for so many women is the only way to protect their selves in order to have a decent life and to be able to live a life they are capable of without the stigmatism and limitations that come from society. Many would prefer to be able to keep the child and live the life their skills and abilities make them capable of if they had the help and support that anyone needs to live a meaningful life.
There are women who want to have this choice because they think it gives them power. There are women who have fought for women’s rights for so long they are willing to take any right just to get a right. Perhaps they have lost sight of what was originally being fought for—the right to be respected as a person.
A right they should fight for is being able to be paid for the work they do. Another right to fight for is to have access to jobs that they are capable of doing. Women need to be recognized for the work they do. Why is it that if a woman decides to work, the people who take care of their children get credit for working while women who decide to take care of their children do not get credit for working? Why can they not put on their resume that they worked raising their family? That is the right to fight for, not the right to kill someone so that other work can be engaged in.
I feel for women who are grandmas. So many I know love being a grandma. Yet some of them are fighting for abortions. I do not understand that. How many grandchildren do they not have because they are for abortions? Are they glad when their children decide to abort the grandchildren-to-be? Or do they think that their children would never have an abortion? If that is the case why are they for abortions? Is it so other women will not have the joy of being grandmas, including eventually their own children? I do not think that is the case. I wonder if they have thought through the implications of what they are advocating.
Whenever a woman has an abortion, part of that woman dies. Some of the women are so far gone for various reasons the part that dies is not noticeable.
Abortion also makes the expansion of the sex trafficking possible. Girls and women are brought into the sex market by various means. Their families sell some of them out. Some are sold out through the foster care system. Some are found after running away from bad home situations. Some are kidnapped. Some are found after being abandoned by family or boyfriend.
With abortion in place, sex traffickers can use their goods again faster after a pregnancy occurs. If girls want to try to avoid becoming pregnant, they can spend the little money they may earn to get some type of birth control. If they become pregnant, the owner uses money they would have been given to obtain an abortion. They go without for a while. The girl or woman is available sooner.
Girls who find themselves either turned out by their family or boyfriend after becoming pregnant or who are too ashamed to go back to family after becoming pregnant are eventually found by some kind person who takes them in and wins them over. They feel cared for, maybe for the first time. After winning the girl’s trust, the more obvious forms of slavery take shape. In order to receive further care, they need to perform. If they come in a pregnant state, an abortion takes place. With the desire on the part of those who back abortions to be able to conduct abortions up to the point of birth, the owners have longer time to win the trust of the girl before the abortion needs to take place. The more trust is won before being used, the easier it is to use the girl. Girls who take longer to earn their trust are the ones who perform the best and earn the highest rates.
This is an aspect of the abortion industry that is seldom discussed.
Would people who support abortion be so wiling to support abortion if they knew it helped sex trafficking?
I said Kathy is innocent for she was raised for such an industry. Somehow the word needs to get out what it is really like.
AFTER
Kathy woke up on the couch. She still felt the numbness. She went through her morning routine and headed off to work. There was a strange feeling going to work after that. How would she be able to interact with anyone? Would they be able to tell what she had done the day before?
Nope. People were busy getting their lunches in the fridge, getting their coffee or tea. Some talked about the night before. Sandra had gone to a good movie and was telling everyone about it.
Time to open the doors and let people in. Kathy was still amazed that there was always at least one person waiting to enter when the doors opened. Sometimes, on cold mornings, they may be waiting in their cars until the door opened. This was a sunny day so they were waiting at the door. She headed to her station. She looked at the stack of papers accumulated from the day before. The day before…. It seemed so distant now. Had it really happened? Had she really done it? The memory of the bucket flashed into her mind. She shook her head and processed the first item. She focused on her work.
She was so focused on her work it took her a while before she realized someone was standing in front of her. He finally cleared his throat. She looked up and instinctively said, “Good morning,” and asked if she could help him with something. He laughed and said she must have been very busy as it was 3:00 in the afternoon.
She sheepishly asked again if she could help him. He needed some access to some reference material in the archives. Kathy went down and retrieved the material. She took his ID to ensure that he would return them. He found a table nearby and started looking at them. Kathy realized she had skipped lunch. She still was not hungry but got a smoothie to drink.
She returned to her desk and set back to work.
The man came back with the material and thanked her for her help. “It seems like you have had a bad day. Could I ease it by taking you out to dinner?” he asked.
Kathy was not sure how to respond. “Casual?” she asked.
“If that’s what you want tonight, fine!” he responded. “How about O’Leary’s Pub?”
“That sounds fine—7:00?” Kathy replied.
“May I pick you up, or do you want to meet there?” he asked.
Kathy liked his casual charm, but she was not sure of the condition of her apartment. “I’ll meet you there,” she replied.
“Seven it is then. My name is Doug. You may have noticed my ID. I see your name is Kathy. Good to meet you, Kathy,” he said as he held out his hand. They shook hands then he turned around and left.
Kathy had not been on a date like this in a long time. Even the ones she got from the dating site seemed more set up, purposeful. This one seemed more casual, which gave it an air of excitement. Something inside her came alive. She wanted to look nice but not overbearing. She decided on her jeans, blue tank top, with the blue and white blouse on top. It was a nice evening but it may get cool later, she thought. She grabbed her sweater and headed out the door.
She was a little early, but when she arrived he was already seated at the bar. He waved her over.
“Can I get you something to drink, and then we’ll find a table?” Doug asked.
Kathy ordered a lite beer then they found a booth that was empty. It was a pleasant atmosphere. Kathy had to laugh as she found out that Doug had played football. He had been a wide receiver. He was a real estate broker. He had been to the library to look up the history of a building to see if it had historical value. He liked to find historical property, buy it, and restore it. Sometimes he would sell it and get a mighty good price for it, as he would do
his homework about the history. Other times he would fix it up with period pieces and open it up for tourists. There were a few touring companies who would give him a fee for each tour they brought by his places.
Kathy had a relaxing evening. It was good to laugh and she felt no pressure from Doug. They parted ways. It was a good way to spend the evening after the day before. She went home and fell asleep.
A STRONG PARTNER
JUROR 9
People will ask me what it is like being married to a strong woman. I ask them why they would not want to be married to someone who is strong.
Would they enter into a business partnership with someone whom they know to be weak? Do they think they would have the chance to become the best company if they have a weak partner?
In sports or other games, people want the best on their team. Ask anyone who was not good at some game if they were ever chosen first. Did the one choosing ever say, “Let me choose the weakest player here first so I can look good?” No, people want to win so they pick the best player.
So why in the most important relationship in life do men look for a weak partner? To be the best a man can be, a strong partner helps. Men who have risen to the top are men who know how to surround themselves with strong people to help them. I know a number of men who have excelled because they have a strong partner, one who works alongside of them to achieve their mutual goals. This has also included partnerships where the woman has had a higher rank, so to speak, than the man. Society does have a ranking system in jobs. A woman may be qualified in a job that society deems of higher rank. This has allowed the man to pursue his dream. In some cases, it has enabled them to pursue their dreams outside of the workplace in areas where society does not pay for accomplishments.
With each person in the relationship being strong in what they do, the relationship will flourish. I am sorry that not everyone understands that. I am sorry that Doug did not understand that. I am sorry that Kathy was never taught that.
I hope that she finds someone who will value her for the abilities and talents that she has. I hope that she finds someone who will value what she is able to bring into the relationship for who she is, not just for what she can sexually do for him.
DOUG
Doug actually became a regular of hers. Sometimes they would go out to lunch. Other days they would meet for dinner. She suspected he was looking at places he already owned or had owned in order for him to keep coming back. She finally told him he did not need her to get him something; he could just stop by.
No one had ever treated her like this before. He started coming over after dinner. She would fix him dinner sometimes. He would fix her dinner sometimes. Then he started spending the night. It took a while, but he eventually moved in with her. It had all seemed so smooth. He loved giving her flowers or chocolates. Her life seemed to be going well.
Kathy went to the doctor to get checked out. She wanted to know if the abortions would affect her being able to have a healthy child. The doctor seemed pretty familiar dealing with women who had had abortions. She said Kathy was fine.
The Saturday before Christmas, Kathy and Doug attended the family Christmas dinner. Dick was there with his four-year-old son, Steve. Dick had been married but had gotten a divorce. It seemed he then lived with a number of women, but Steve was his only child from them all. Robby and Maria had two girls and two boys. Kevin and Judy were newly married. Judy was pregnant with their first. It was an enjoyable gathering as far as Kathy’s family was concerned. While Kathy was growing up, she never realized how disconnected her parents were. They were two people who shared the same house, the same children, and now the same grandchildren.
A few weeks later, Kathy fixed Doug one of his favorite meals. In the course of the conversation, Kathy asked Doug if he wanted to have children someday.
Doug responded, “Of course. It would be great to pass the family business on to my son. And I would enjoy spoiling a little princess.”
Kathy was pleased and set about trying to get pregnant. Finally in June she got positive results. So again, over a nice dinner, she told Doug. He just looked at her for a while. Then asked, “Shouldn’t we have talked about this?”
“We did,” Kathy responded. “You said you wanted children.”
“Maybe I did, but not yet. I wish we would have sat down and planned this out. I am not ready to give up my life yet for children. You need to get an abortion,” he said.
Flashes of the bucket fled through Kathy’s mind. She started getting queasy. “I don’t know if I could have an abortion,” Kathy responded weakly.
“Sure you could. Women do it all the time,” Doug said. “Then we could have children later,” he continued matter-of-factly, “when business is not so busy. We need to plan for this type of thing.”
Kathy was devastated. How could she go through another abortion? She really did not know what to say, so she weakly said, “I’ll see what I can do.”
She took the next day off and went and sat in the park to process this unexpected response. She started going numb again, mechanical. She decided she would go and spend some time with Ellen and her partner, Alexandra, for a while. Ellen was more than happy to have her come. They were friends on Facebook but had not really talked a lot since college. It was fun to catch up and Alexandra was pretty fun to be around.
She talked about it with Ellen and Alexandra. They talked about how they wanted to be able to adopt a baby someday. They had looked into it but had not decided what agency to go through.
Alexandra brought up the incident where a baby had been found dead in a dumpster behind an apartment building. Upon investigation the mother was found. She said she realized that she could not handle having a child and decided to get rid of it. She termed it a “late abortion” when she talked to the two women police officers. No charges were brought against her.
Kathy headed home on Sunday night. She thanked Ellen and Alexandra for the time and for helping her process. She told them she had not fully decided. She wanted to give Doug another chance, as she knew she could not have another abortion.
EACH PERSON HAS VALUE
JUROR 7
Women and men are not created equal. Men are not created equal. Even identical twins are not created equal. Just like there are no two snowflakes exactly alike, there are no two people exactly alike. Yet all are created important.
Look at the fingers on the hand: each has its function. One could not grasp items if it were not for the thumb. The thumb is a marvelous part of the body that allows people to do activities that many other animals cannot do. With thumbs, people can grasp items, pick up items, eat with one hand, and use tools. The thumb has helped people to have finer motor skills. People would not be able to accomplish as much if it were not for the thumb.
The index finger is also important. It is the most used finger. It is used to communicate. It is used to point, to single someone or some item out. It is used to convey messages like “We’re number one!” It is the fastest finger to react, so is the best finger to use when using a stopwatch. It has the most power when bending. The index finger is the one used most often on the computer mouse and the hunt-and-peck form of typing. And where would people be if they did not have the index finger when someone is tying a bow?
The middle finger also communicates, generally not in as positive manner as the index finger. Yet it is used with the index finger to show the victory sign. The middle finger is also the finger used with the thumb to snap. It is often used to tap. It is the longest finger and helps protect the other fingers. It is the center finger on the hand and brings about balance.
The ring finger also communicates. It is the bearer of the wedding ring, announcing that someone is taken. Although when the ring finger is bent down, it does so independently, the ring finger will bend slightly when either the middle finger or pinky is bent.
The pinkie finger adds power. Although it is not as strong as the index finger, the pinkie finger, especially when joined by the rin
g finger, gives power to a grip. Many waiters and waitresses can testify to the necessity of the pinkie in carrying dishes or trays. Playing many sports is harder without the pinkie as it is harder to grasp the ball or other sports equipment without the pinkie.
All this is to say that each finger is important. Although people can function when they are missing a finger, they will not be able to function as well.
This is also true in society. When each person is not allowed to function as that person is intended to function, made to function, society cannot function as well. Everyone is important to do the job they were placed on this earth to perform.
Birds demonstrate another aspect of importance. There are many types of birds. Some birds have wings built for soaring, like eagles. Some hawks have wings for soaring while others have shorter wingspans so that they can maneuver through trees to chase their prey. Some birds have wings for staying in one place, like the hummingbird. There are birds that swim, the penguins. There are birds—the ostrich, emu, rhea, cassowary, and kiwi—that have wings not meant for flying. The cassowary, unlike many other birds’ crowns, are hard so that it can run through the jungle and not hurt its head on the low branches. The ostrich is a bird that can compete with horses in speed.