Now I know you must be asking yourself, “Why did I leave you?” I didn’t want to leave you, but the things your mother did to ensure I could never have you were enough, including using the law against me to keep me from you. I wasn’t allowed to come near you at all, no matter how much time and money I spent to get you back. I did send you birthday cards every year and watched you from a distance. I even went to your high school graduation. Your mother didn’t know I went, but I was there. I know that doesn’t make up for anything, but it’s all I had to give.
After you turned eighteen, I tried to find you, but you had moved out to go to college and your mother wouldn’t tell me where you went. I was never able to get the information I needed to contact you, but I want you to know that I’ve always loved you and you’ve always been in my heart.
I hate that I wasn’t able to see you before I passed on. It tears me up inside that you have probably thought I was the worst father ever to leave you like that. But I promise you, that you have meant more to me than anyone ever would in this world and the next.
I have loved you and will love you forever. I hope that you can forgive me for not being able to fight harder for us to be together. It is the one regret I take to my grave.
Your Dad who will love you for eternity,
Charles
P.S. Please give Joan a chance. She will love you as if you are her own.
I wiped at the tears and snot running down my face, wishing that I had taken that chance all those years ago. I had missed out on so much—a dad that didn’t give me up, but was forced to stay away. What the hell could my mother have done? And he sent me birthday cards every year? I only remember receiving two. But when I thought about it, I received those when I checked the mail. My mother must have found the other ones and kept them from me.
That little bitch!
Getting up from the bed, I quietly stepped out of the room and turned toward the bathroom, running straight into a half-naked Bryce. Come on. How many times was I going to meet his chest that day?
“Excuse me,” I whispered as I backed away toward the bathroom, not making eye contact, making it to the bathroom before he was able to say anything to me.
Turning the faucet on, I splashed my face with water, trying to wash away the pain and tears from discovering that the reason my dad wasn’t around was because of my mother. I wanted to call her and demand that she tell me why she had done whatever it was that she did and kept me from him.
I knew it was no use though. Nothing would change the fact that he was gone.
Opening the bathroom door, I looked both ways before I turned toward my room, not wanting to run into Bryce again. That was just awkward.
Walking into my room, I went to the side table and picked up my cell. I sent Jules a text first, then Kade.
Scarlett: There’s stuff to dish, but nothing I want to text. I’ll see u 2moro night. <3 ya
Scarlett: Hey everything is fine. Family stuff. I’ll explain when I get back 2moro. Sweet dreams to you too.
I crawled into bed and brought the covers up to my chin. Closing my eyes, I started to think about how different my life would have been if I had been able to live with him instead of my mom.
Not wanting to think anymore, I rolled over and smiled to myself, happy to finally feel at peace. My dad did love me, and that was all I needed to know.
~*~
I woke up the next morning and reread the letter my dad wrote me. I’d been holding a grudge for so long that I was happy to actually smile when I thought of him now. It would never be forgotten that he left, but I could definitely forgive it.
Needing to take care of my morning business, I made my way to the bathroom, passing Bryce’s room. I could hear muffled talking coming from inside, and being the nosey person I was, I stepped closer to his door.
“No, sir, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Pause.
“His time is up. They’re going to push it now, even though he doesn’t want it. He really doesn’t have a choice.”
Pause.
“He’s met someone.”
Was he talking about Kade?
“I’ll do it, sir.”
Pause.
“Yes, I understand.”
Not sure exactly who he was talking about or who he was talking to, I backed away from the door to enter the bathroom that was across from Bryce’s room when his door opened.
Turning toward his door, I made eye contact with him, and he smiled at me. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” I smiled back. I felt completely awkward around him now, so I broke eye contact.
I tried not to let my eyes drift, but they had a mind of their own. He was standing there with no shirt on . . . again. I think he was leaving it off on purpose. How was it that I’d never seen any guys with bodies like the ones I’d seen lately throughout all my college years but now they were everywhere I turned? Trey didn’t even have muscle definition. He was what you’d call soft. But Bryce’s muscles? His were like a work of art, definitely more defined than Kade’s. He must have prided himself on working out.
I looked back up at Bryce, whose eyes were also roaming my body then stopping to linger on my chest. Looking down, I realized that I was standing in the hallway in my short sleep shorts and tank top, which I was wearing with no bra. It was something I packed, thinking I’d be staying at a hotel. There he was probably imagining what I looked like naked, even though he had a video of it on his phone, which I planned on getting him to delete, one way or another.
I cleared my throat, and he snapped his eyes to mine and had the biggest smile on his face. Damn him for having a cute smile. I scowled at him and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.
~*~
At eleven thirty, I decided to go ahead and get dressed for the funeral. They weren’t doing a wake. My dad had decided that if people wanted to pay their respects then they would have come to say them while he was still alive since everyone who knew him knew that he was dying. At one p.m. they had the service and burial.
I put on a black knee-length dress that had three-quarter sleeves and a slight dip in the front that showed a little bit of cleavage. Adding a little bit of makeup and curling my hair, I was ready to go.
I made my way downstairs to look for Joan and Bryce. I found them both in the living room with Bryce holding Joan in a hug. I could hear her soft sobs as I got closer. Turning around, I decided that maybe it would be best to leave them both alone to have their moment when Bryce called my name.
I turned to look at them and noticed they had both been crying. I hated seeing grown men cry. I had to stop myself from going over there and giving Bryce a hug. Looking at them both with sympathy, I walked over to Joan and gave her a hug instead. I looked at Bryce over Joan’s shoulder and gave him a sad smile. I’d never even thought of how my dad’s death would affect Bryce. He would have been his step-dad, a big loss, depending on whether he was in contact with his real dad or not. I didn’t know anything about that situation.
Joan broke our hug and walked over to the coffee table where a box of tissues sat. “You look wonderful, dear. Are you ready to go? We need to arrive early.” She sniffed.
I gave her a small smile and nodded.
“Okay.” She half smiled. “Let me go get my purse and we’ll head to the church.” She grabbed another tissue before walking out of the room.
I looked up at Bryce and tried to think of what to say, but the look he was shooting my way was disgruntled, so I left it alone. Instead, I studied the Oriental rug, waiting for Joan to return.
“What time do you fly out?” Bryce asked.
I walked over to the couch and sat on the edge of the seat, looking out the window. “My flight leaves at five. I’ll need to be there around three thirty though.” I finally turned to look at him.
I was about to ask him why he wanted to know, when he abruptly nodded at me and left the room. I knew he was upset, but did he really have to be so cold to
ward me? Maybe he was trying to get back into character to play Kevin. Either way, he was being rude.
I decided to take my rental to the church so I could leave when I needed to and not have to make anyone leave to take me to my car. When we arrived, I was surprised by how many people were there. I didn’t recognize anyone, but Joan made sure to introduce me to everyone with whom she came in contact. Apparently, some of these people knew about me from my dad. From what I was told, he had a picture of me, which he kept on his desk—a picture that he took at my high school graduation. When I found out about the picture, it tore at my heart, knowing he was there, again, but I never knew.
It was a beautiful service, and I ended up crying for all the times I never got to have with him and never would. It didn’t occur to me how much it would affect me. During the service, I snuck a glance at Bryce, and I could tell he was doing his best to keep his emotions in check, but they showed on his face. He did glance my way one time but immediately looked away. I didn’t pay any attention to him after that. I just closed my eyes and quietly told my dad goodbye.
After the service, everyone congregated in a sitting area just off the church, where they could talk and reminisce. I stayed for a little while but opted to leave early. Finding Joan, I gave her a big hug and told her, “Goodbye.”
“Please come back and see me. I know this has been a horrible situation, but I’d really like for us to be friends,” she said as a tear escaped from her eye.
“I definitely will.” I smiled at her. “I have your number and you have mine. We’ll stay in touch.” I gave her one final squeeze and let go.
I waved goodbye and headed toward the door. I had no intention of saying goodbye to Bryce at all, but he was standing over by the doors as I made my way over there.
He was looking at his shoes when I approached. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around . . . maybe,” I said as I pushed the door open to leave.
Before I made it all the way out, he called for me. “Be careful,” was all he said as he walked away and headed toward Joan. There was no emotion on his face at all.
I guess that meant we weren’t going to be close.
Chapter 19
I arrived back in Atlanta around seven fifteen that evening. With the funeral over, my mind started to wander back to what Bryce had told me the day before. Recalling that Bryce said Kade wasn’t who he said he was, was really bothering me. I didn’t understand what that could mean. I needed to talk to him about what happened at the bar and see what he said about the situation and go from there. I deserved to know what the hell was going on if we were going to actually try to be together, especially if something were going on that involved the FBI.
Getting in my car, I decided to head straight to Kade’s. Sending him a text, I let him know I was on my way. Then I called Jules.
“Hey girl, how you holdin’ up?”
“Good, I guess. I’ve got so much on my mind.” Things I wished I could tell her about, but I couldn’t.
“I can understand that. How was the funeral?”
I let out a sigh. “It was a nice service. There’s a lot that happened that I want to talk to you about, but I really don’t want to tell you all about it on the phone. I’m tired, and I’m on my way to Kade’s.”
“Oh, okay, that’s fine. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” I lied. “I’m fine, just tired like I said. I didn’t get much sleep last night, and you know flying gives me anxiety.” I laughed.
“Yeah, I know. Okay, well, I’ll talk to you later then. Are you staying with Kade?”
“I’m not sure yet.” It all depended on how our conversation went. “Just assume I am. Okay?”
“Okay, later.”
“Later,” I said, hanging up the phone as I tried to find a parking spot outside Kade’s condo.
I stayed in the car for about fifteen minutes, trying to figure out how I was going to start this conversation. First, we had the whole drug thing to talk about then the bar situation, and what the hell was going on that would involve someone telling me to get out of his life? I was a little scared even talking to him about this situation. Although I had strong feelings for him, it didn’t change the fact that I hadn’t known him that long and I had no idea what was going on in his life outside of Atlanta.
Walking up to Kade’s door, I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I wasn’t nervous. I just didn’t know what to expect.
I knocked on the door once, and the door opened. Kade stood there in jeans and a t-shirt, and his hair was all a mess. He looked so good. It had only been two and half days, but I hadn’t realized I missed him until that moment.
Pulling me into the condo, he shut the door without saying a word and pushed me up against the door. His mouth was on mine before I could even ask him what he was doing. I didn’t need to ask. I could feel it. It was the same feeling I got every time I was around him, as if I couldn’t control my want for him, and I knew he felt the same way.
My reasons for coming here were now long forgotten. My focus was Kade and his delicious mouth. I devoured his taste, running my hands through his hair. His hands moved from my face and snaked lower, running over all my curves until he ran his hand over my ass and squeezed. I let out a moan that Kade devoured with his mouth, and I could feel my lower half clenching, waiting to be touched.
The feeling that he stirred in me ran so deeply. It was beautiful. It was the feeling where you knew that this man was it for you and the thought of losing him made you want to hold on that much harder.
Kade gripped my ass and lifted me up to wrap my legs around his waist, pressing me harder up against the door. Breaking our kiss, he started trailing kisses down my chin and up to my ear.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted,” he whispered in my ear then nibbled and sucked on my ear lobe. He leaned back and looked into my eyes. I could see the desperation, as if he were looking for me to forgive him. I cupped his face with my hands. “I’ve missed you,” he smiled. Pulling his face back to mine, I sucked his plump bottom lip into my mouth, nibbling on it and making him groan. I smiled to myself as I accomplished my goal. I loved hearing him groan. It was such a turn on.
Letting his lip go, I ran my tongue over his lip, and he sucked it into his mouth for a kiss. Pulling us away from the door, he started walking toward his bedroom, slowly. He deepened the kiss as I wrapped my arms around his neck and started grinding against him. I could feel how hard he was, and I was ready to have him inside me. I needed it hard and fast. I moaned as the sensation got stronger. My clit was screaming and begging for more friction. I knew it wasn’t going to take me long, and I could hear his growl of approval.
I wasn’t sure how he was able to see and make it to the bedroom, but he slowly lowered us to the bed. “You’re so beautiful, Scarlett.” He grinned as he ran his fingers down my face all the way down to my breast where he squeezed through my dress. I closed my eyes and moaned.
He lifted himself off of me. I looked up and unlocked my legs from around his waist as he lifted my dress further up to expose my black lace panties.
He ran his finger down my core and licked his lips. “So wet already, Scarlett.”
“Yes,” I moaned. I needed this. I needed him to make me come. “Please Kade,” I begged. I sat up and grabbed his head to bring him down for another kiss.
“Lift up your arms,” he commanded.
I did what I was told, and I watched as he reached to my side to unzip my dress. Grabbing the bottom of my dress, which was now behind my back, he lifted it up over my head then pushed me back down on the bed. He ran his hands down my legs until he got to my feet and slowly pulled off both heels.
Biting my lip, I moaned as he trailed kisses up my leg to my thigh. “I need to taste you, Scarlett,” he said, hooking his hands on the side of my panties and pulling them off. He spread me wide and lowered his head. “You’re intoxicating,” he said as he slowly licked my core, “and you taste so fucking good.”
I low
ered my arms and grabbed his head, pushing him closer as he flicked his tongue against my clit. He hummed in approval, and I started rocking my hips against his face. I was unashamed of my need, and I needed to come right then. I could feel my body getting hot and sweat forming on my forehead. I was so close, but he was purposely avoiding where I wanted him to be.
“Please, Kade, I need . . .” I panted.
“What do you need, Scarlett? Tell me.” He licked up my folds and flicked my clit with his tongue, but moved away before I could grind in his face again.
“I . . . need to . . . come,” I panted, “now.” I looked up at him, and he was watching me as he flicked my clit again. I could see the sparkle in his eyes. He liked this game.
“My pleasure, beautiful,” he said as he licked, sucked, and nibbled on my clit.
My body tensed as my climax hit, and a loud erotic moan left my mouth, something I’d never heard before. I kept moaning as he continued to suck. Clamping my legs closed around his head, I started to buck wildly. I was so sensitive, but he kept going, and it was starting to hurt. Hurt in such a good way. Then out of nowhere another wave washed over me, and I climaxed again, letting out a hoarse groan.
He stopped sucking my clit, but left no trace of my climax behind as he took his time licking up every drop. “That was so fucking sexy,” he growled as he made his way back up my body and lowered his mouth to mine. I could taste myself all over his lips. I grabbed his head and pulled him closer to me, wanting all of it. All of him.
Breaking the kiss, he sat up and started to undress. I hadn’t even realized that he was still fully clothed. While he undressed, I reached behind my back and unsnapped my bra and threw it on the floor.
Without saying a word, he crawled back on the bed in between my legs. Pushing my knees up to my chest, he grabbed his length and guided his bulbous head into me slowly. He watched me, taking in every emotion on my face.
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