Rebecca's Bouquet

by Lisa Jones Baker

  “Oh no.”

  William nodded. “Before we left Arthur, I promised your father I’d look out for you. I’m going to keep that commitment. We’re both here to help Dad, but first and foremost, my job is to make sure you’re safe.”

  Rebecca smiled a little. The words comforted her a bit, and the cold sensation began to go away. She rolled her shoulders to relieve the tension.

  “As much as I’d like you to stay, the smart thing for you to do right now is to go home.”

  For a few moments, she was speechless. After giving his statement some thought, she raised her chin and moved her hands to her hips. As she shifted her stance, she remembered her three goals. They were decided. But not accomplished. How could she leave without fulfilling the bishop’s expectation of her?

  “I can’t go. Not yet. You need me. So do Beth and Daniel.”

  “We’ll have to do without you. I won’t let anything happen to you, Rebecca. Maybe the letter was a joke; maybe not. In either case, we can’t risk it.”

  She straightened and raised her chin. “I won’t allow someone to force me to leave, William. It’s not right. Besides, if that person’s not even strong enough to warn me to my face, do you think they’re brave enough to actually harm me?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  Rebecca frowned.

  William slipped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “Rebecca, just because you leave doesn’t mean you can’t come back. For now, there’s no other choice. You’re much too important to me to take chances. Don’t you know I’d be devastated if I lost you?”

  He hesitated before continuing. “You’re all I have.”

  As their gazes locked, Rebecca felt his shaky hands on her waist. At that instant, she knew William was afraid. An eerie chill crept up her spine.

  When he spoke again, his voice was low and serious. “Please, Rebecca. Tell me you’ll leave.”

  *

  The following morning, Rebecca lifted the hem of her dress and used the two metal steps to get inside of Katie’s buggy. Today was the last time she’d be with her friend. At least, for awhile. Katie needed to do errands.

  Tomorrow, Rebecca would return to Arthur. Beth had already arranged for Rebecca’s transportation. She told Katie about the threat and that Rebecca had finally agreed with Daniel and William. She was no longer safe at the Conrad place.

  As Katie took the reins, the horse threw its head back with an impatient snort and stepped in place.

  “I’ll miss you,” Katie said as she closed the door. “But honestly …”

  Rebecca gave her a curious glance. “What?”

  “I’m convinced that going home is for the best.”

  “You are?”

  Katie gave a convincing nod. “That way, you’ll be safe.” She paused. “I’m sure William will miss you, but hopefully, he’ll join you soon.”

  “That’s what I’d like. Of course, he can’t leave until Daniel’s back on his feet.” Rebecca gave a frustrated shake of her head. “Daniel has sure had a hard time of it.”

  “Any sign of improvement?”

  “Jah.”

  “So when do you leave?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Aren’t you looking forward to seeing your family?”

  “Of course. But I don’t like being forced out. I make my own decisions. To be honest, I have huge regrets.”

  “Oh?”

  Rebecca told her about the three goals. “I didn’t accomplish them.”

  “What are they?”

  Rebecca ticked them off.

  “Well … I’d say you’ve done the first. You’ve definitely been a support to Beth. And you’ve got your whole life to help others.”

  Rebecca glanced at Katie. “But I didn’t do the most important one. I pray every night for William and Daniel to be close. It wouldn’t be right for William to go through life looking back and focusing on what could have been. I want him to move forward and make the most of the time he has left with his father. It’s only right.”

  “Don’t you think you’re asking too much of yourself? You can’t make miracles happen.”

  “No, but I can do my best. I’m not a quitter. The bishop will be disappointed in me.”

  “I doubt that. Sometimes, circumstances prevent us from having what we want. In this case, there’s just too much unknown. But God knows best, Rebecca. He’ll guide you.”

  Rebecca nodded as they turned a corner. “I trust Him. Daniel could suffer a setback.”

  Rebecca closed her eyes and prayed in silence. Please, God. Help William to forgive Daniel. Help them to be close.

  When she opened her lids, she relaxed a bit. Even with her struggles, God was still an ever-present force in her life. The evidence was all around.

  She took in the breathtaking sky decorated with white fluffy clouds. Tall evergreens that scented the outdoors. A squirrel running in front of them. Beautiful purple and yellow wildflowers springing up beside the road.

  Rebecca’s thoughts drifted back to their conversation, and she questioned if leaving was really the right thing to do. She wasn’t completely convinced it was.

  Katie’s horse slowed its gait. Within a matter of minutes, they were at the post office. With practiced ease, Katie parked the buggy under the canopy outside and tied her horse to the pole.

  She glanced at Rebecca. “I won’t be long.”

  Rebecca waved a hand in dismissal. “No rush.”

  As she watched Katie disappear around the corner, she let out a sigh of relief. God would help her bond William and Daniel. And He would keep her safe.

  At that thought, she glimpsed the corner of a cream-colored envelope between the door and the front mat. Katie had dropped one of her letters. Rebecca quickly bent to retrieve it. But as her hand touched the envelope, she stopped and drew in a quick breath.

  She stared at it. There was nothing unusual about the address and stamp. What drew Rebecca’s attention was the special marking in the bottom left-hand corner. She’d noticed it before when she’d received the two threats.

  But that wasn’t all she’d seen on those two frightening occasions. The neat hand printing also struck a familiar chord. It was eerily similar to the printing on her warnings. She stiffened. Her heart pounded as hard as a jackhammer.

  Envelope in hand, she plopped back in her seat and stared straight ahead. She barely noticed Katie’s horse as she sifted through the facts.

  Had Katie threatened her? Rebecca shook her head. No way. Why on earth would Katie want Rebecca gone? Rebecca’s hands shook as she tried for an answer. None came. She thought of the worry caused by those ugly warnings.

  They had kept Rebecca awake late into the night. She’d prayed for God to keep her safe from whoever hated her so much.

  In the end, those awful threats were the reason she’d finally agreed to return to Arthur before her mission in Indiana was accomplished. Was Katie responsible?

  An eternity seemed to pass as that potent, unanswered question haunted Rebecca. In a daze, she continued staring at the emblem and the print. She drew the envelope closer and squinted to get a better look.

  But she knew it by memory. The emblem was permanently imprinted in her mind. And the longer she tried to deny the obvious, the faster her heart beat.

  She had to find the truth. Needed to know if Katie had indeed been the sender.

  Rebecca would ask her. Suddenly, she realized she was clutching the envelope in a death grip. Her fingers ached. She relaxed her hold.

  She and Katie were alone. Was a confrontation wise? If Katie was responsible, and if Rebecca confronted her, would Katie harm her?

  After careful thought, Rebecca decided that because they were in a public place, she shouldn’t worry. But if anything happened, Rebecca would scream for help.

  Why on earth would Katie want her to leave? They hadn’t argued. As Rebecca tried for an answer, Katie suddenly appeared from around the corner.

  As she walked to the bu
ggy, she waved and met Rebecca’s gaze with a wide smile. Confused, Rebecca glanced again at her find and started to return it to where she’d discovered it.

  Instead, she held on to it. There was no reason to pretend she hadn’t found it. As Katie stepped inside of the buggy, Rebecca turned to her.

  “I did my errands.”

  As Katie slammed her door closed, Rebecca studied her. As soon as Katie turned to her, her smile quickly slipped into a look of surprise when she noticed the envelope in Rebecca’s hand.

  It was time to get answers.

  *

  While Rebecca was with Katie, William helped to steady his dad as he stepped to the front door. Daniel stopped.

  “Are you okay?”

  With a half smile, Daniel gave a slight nod. “I’m not up to running a marathon, but for the time being, I’ll be satisfied with being half a man.”

  William frowned. “Half a man? Don’t say that.”

  “Why not?”

  William shrugged. “Because it’s not true.”

  Daniel gave a frustrated shake of his head. “William, one of my problems in the past was that I wasn’t brave enough to communicate with you.”

  Tears sparkled in the fragile-looking man’s eyes as he looked at William. “Your old man never liked to talk about things he didn’t want to deal with. And look what happened. From now on, that’s going to change.”

  He motioned to the wooden porch swing. “Let’s sit down. I need to clear the air about some things.”

  Without responding, William joined him on the bench. Their elbows brushed. Sitting side by side gave William a feeling of closeness and reassurance. For the first time in years, he felt a strange and wonderful sense of security.

  As they rocked back and forth, the iron chains holding the swing to the roof of the patio creaked. The wooden boards felt hard against William’s back. His father’s tone was serious. Something was wrong.

  He rested a shaky hand on William’s thigh and took a deep breath while he glanced at William. “I guess I’ve got to start somewhere. My apologies for not being the father you deserved, William.”

  A stressful silence ensued while William waited for his dad to go on.

  “They say hindsight’s twenty-twenty. Now I see things more clearly than ever.” He shook his head and lowered his voice. “I should never have left you. If I could do it again, I would have brought you with me.”

  William digested the words. “But Mom—”

  “I know that Miriam expected you to grow up Amish. That went without saying.” He shrugged. “But sometimes, we have to make judgment calls.” He hesitated. “Instead of hating me like you should, you came here and made sure my business survived. I don’t deserve you.”

  The admission made William’s jaw drop in surprise. He stared at his feet as they moved with the swing. “I could never hate you, Dad. That’s not to say I haven’t been upset.”

  Suddenly, William lifted his gaze to stare into the sunset. His voice was hoarse as he drifted back to a time that he would rather forget. “When Mom died, I missed her so much. I cried every night and prayed for God to bring her back to me. Then, you left. I waited for you to come and get me.” William shook his head sadly. “It didn’t happen. I couldn’t believe I’d lost both of you. I thought no one wanted me. That God was telling me I wasn’t important enough to be loved. It was so hard.”

  Daniel blew his nose. William turned and saw that his father’s eyes had filled with tears. The color had drained from his face. He looked so old.

  William nudged his arm. “Please don’t cry, Dad.”

  “What a mess I’ve made. I loved your mother so much. I thought I was strong. That I could handle everything myself. I had the world at my doorstep until she died. When I lost her, I turned to mush. Didn’t think I’d survive.”

  William lowered his voice. “But you had me. Didn’t I count?”

  Daniel regained his composure and cleared his throat. “Son, at that time, Miriam was everything to me. I didn’t want to live without her. I’m ashamed to admit that I even blamed God for taking her.”

  William sat quietly and listened.

  “When I met Beth, she wiped away some of my pain.” He paused. “But you know what?”

  William met his gaze. “What?”

  “Even with Beth, as wonderful as she is, I never got over losing your mother.”

  “You mean you don’t love Beth?”

  “Of course, I do.” Daniel hesitated. “But Miriam was my first love. We grew up together. And even though I did what I was sure she would have wanted, I let her down. There’s no way I can make up the years that you were alone. But I can be good to you in the future. Will you let me try, son?”

  William swallowed. He nodded. “Of course.”

  Daniel dabbed at his eyes with his tissue. “I want a good life for you. Don’t make the mistakes I made.”

  Suddenly, William felt uneasy. “Dad, why are you telling me this now?”

  Daniel crossed his arms over his chest. “Let’s just say I’ve had a lot of time to think. Son, I might not be able to continue my business. As you’re aware, running the shop takes a lot of work and time.” He shrugged. “I know the docs are happy with my progress, but reality is, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get the strength to keep the routine I used to.”

  After a lengthy pause, he sighed. “I’m giving it to you.”

  William pressed his lips together in a straight, thoughtful line. Had he heard his father correctly? He turned and looked him in the eyes.

  As if reading his thoughts, his dad gave a firm nod.

  While William considered the statement, Daniel laughed a little. “At least I have something to offer. It can’t make up for the years we were without each other, but you’ll have a comfortable living. That’s more than a lot of people have.”

  William’s thoughts automatically floated to Rebecca and her dream of growing old with her family. In Illinois.

  He cleared his throat. “Dad, I appreciate your offer. But I can’t give you an answer. Not today, anyway. Like I said, a decision this big has to be made between Rebecca and me. And we haven’t decided whether or not to move to Indiana.”

  Daniel nodded. “I understand.”

  “Rebecca’s very generous. I think she would do whatever makes me happy.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “Her dream is to grow old with her family. To raise our children around their cousins, aunts and uncles.” He sighed. “How can I rob her of that?”

  Daniel shrugged. “I’ve noticed how you’ve conformed to our way of life. And I don’t blame you for that. But now that you’re an adult, you can make your own choices.”

  Daniel looked down at his folded hands. “Surely you’ve seen that there’s life outside Arthur, Illinois. And you certainly don’t have to be Amish to be a Christian. Believing in God is what’s important. There’s no need to live without electricity, William.”

  William couldn’t think of a response.

  “What I’m trying to say is that I’m giving you permission to leave the Amish life.”

  So many decisions cluttered William’s mind, he couldn’t think. What he wanted wasn’t best for Rebecca.

  “William?”

  The swing came to a stop. For long, tense moments, William and Daniel sat in silence. Finally, Daniel put a hand on William’s shoulder. They regarded each other.

  “Son, I don’t want to rush you. There’s a lot to think about. Like you said, you don’t have to make a decision today.”

  “Yeah, Dad. I’ll sleep on it and pray to make the right choice.”

  Daniel smiled a little. “Whatever you do, know your old man loves you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  William hugged his father. At the same time, Daniel’s arms came around him like a security blanket. William savored the comforting feeling. He closed his lids.

  Finally, he’d heard the words he’d yearned to hear for years. He had what he
wanted. His father’s love.

  *

  As Katie got comfortable in the buggy, Rebecca turned to her. “There’s something I need to ask you.”

  Katie smiled as she laid her purse between them. “Go ahead.”

  Rebecca lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. “Did you threaten me to go home?”

  Rebecca noticed the fast rise and fall of Katie’s chest. Several moments passed while Rebecca awaited a response.

  When there was none, Rebecca flashed the envelope in front of her. “I found this on the floor.” She pointed to the emblem on the bottom corner.

  The guilty look in Katie’s eyes said everything. A rush that was a combination of sadness and disappointment swept through Rebecca’s entire body like a bolt of lightning.

  “What about it?”

  Rebecca lowered her voice to barely more than a whisper. “I think you know.”

  “Surely other people must own stationery like that.”

  “With this emblem?”

  Katie fidgeted.

  “Katie, be honest. You’re the one behind the warnings, aren’t you?”

  Moisture glistened in Katie’s eyes. She spoke in an apologetic tone. “I sent them, Rebecca.”

  Rebecca leaned toward the girl next to her. She gripped the envelope and waved it in the air. “Why? I thought you were my friend.”

  A sheepish look covered Katie’s face as she looked down at the floor and sighed in defeat. All the while, Rebecca tried to accept what she’d just discovered.

  Katie raised her chin to meet Rebecca’s gaze. “William was influenced by the English ways. I was so afraid you’d decide to not join the church. So”—she shrugged—“I took matters into my own hands, Rebecca. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  At a loss for words, Rebecca stared at the woman she’d considered a friend.

  Katie’s voice cracked with emotion. “I saw bad things happening, Rebecca. I believed the Conrads were pulling you in the wrong direction. I know that you assured me you’d never leave the faith. But I knew the only way to ensure that was to force you to move back home. That way, everything would be okay.”

  She paused and seemed to collect herself. “I did it for your own good.”

  Throwing her arms protectively over her chest, Rebecca gasped. “For my own good? Do you know how frightened I was? How you worried the Conrad family? My goodness, Katie! You put extra stress on Daniel’s heart. You threw our lives into disarray.”