Growing Up Duggar: It's All About Relationships

by Duggar, Jill

  Our family definitely enjoys music! Here we are in Ireland, drumming on traditional budhrans.

  Our family does not support the idea of Christians adopting this type of music or putting “Christian words” to it and bringing it into the church, because the underlying message of the music is still the same, and we believe that the combination of the two sends a mixed message. Our God is not the author of confusion but of order, and our lives and even our music should be a reflection of that. We have found that classical music and traditional hymns usually follow a pattern and maintain a very distinct and definite order, and over the years Mom and Dad have encouraged us to pursue those types of music.

  Even though our parents did not have any kind of musical training, they wanted their children to have the opportunity to learn music, so early on, they arranged for us to take both piano and violin lessons. Since then, many of us have branched out and taken up other instruments such as guitar, mandolin, bass, cello, viola, trumpet, and harp.

  Given the basic guidelines that we follow for selecting music, there is still plenty of musical variety in the Duggar household these days. We enjoy listening to Celtic, mountain, bluegrass, and gospel music as well as orchestrated marches and classical pieces. Just as our parents have encouraged us, we exhort you to hold the area of your music with an open hand, and to pray about and be willing to give up anything you feel would not be pleasing to God.

  On a final note, Duggars do not make a habit of walking around listening to music with earbuds in, as if to block out everything around them and retract into their own little private world. It’s one thing if we are mowing the lawn or doing some kind of work project on our own, but otherwise Dad will encourage us, “If it’s good enough for you to listen to, why don’t we all listen to it!”

  God has called us to be light and salt in the world we live in. As we make our own choices based on His Word and principles, our prayer is that we will be a light to others as they make choices of their own.

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  YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COUNTRY

  Making a difference in the political arena

  . . . For there is no power but of God: The powers that be are ordained of God.

  —Romans 13:1

  GOD USED A SERIES of supernatural events to clearly lead our family into making a difference in the world of politics. And it’s a path that our family firmly believes in and has thoroughly enjoyed. It all began with a rally on the steps of the Arkansas capitol in 1997. We had traveled three hours to Little Rock for our infant brother Josiah’s doctor appointment. A few days before, Dad had heard on a Christian radio station that a rally was going to be held at the state capitol a few hours after Josiah’s scheduled appointment. The focus of the rally was to urge the legislature to pass a ban against the heinous procedure of partial-birth abortion.

  Mom and Dad decided that since we were in town, we would stop by the rally. When we got there, what we saw was inspiring: more than two thousand people were passionately advocating for the lives of these innocent, almost full-term babies whose lives were being destroyed through this gruesome act. But despite the large turnout and urgent pleas, instead of passing the ban, the representatives and senators voted it down!

  That day changed our lives.

  Dad says that as he watched those events unfold, God laid it on his heart to run for the legislature. He’d never been involved in politics, didn’t consider himself a public speaker, and honestly didn’t know the first thing about running a campaign. But he knew he could vote the right way on life-and-death issues, which was better than what most of our elected officials at the capitol were doing.

  A few weeks later, when Dad heard about a candidate campaign class that a Christian man was going to teach, Dad was one of the first to sign up. However, during the first training session, the instructor announced his plans to run for the very representative seat Dad was considering. For a moment, Dad was shocked. Had he heard wrong? Was God really calling him to this?

  In some ways he actually felt a bit relieved that God had provided someone else who Dad knew was a very qualified, Christian man to run for this office instead of him. He felt sure God had just been testing him to see if he was willing to do whatever He asked him to do. Nonetheless, Dad enjoyed learning about campaign strategies, so he returned to the class the next week.

  Imagine his surprise when he heard the instructor say that he had just taken a job out of town, and he would no longer be able to run for the representative seat! Even though Dad still felt totally inadequate, he became even more convinced this was what God was calling him to do, and he filed to run for office.

  Over the next several months, God kept confirming to him through little circumstances that this was what He wanted Dad to do. For instance, during this time a family friend asked if she could introduce our family to a young couple in need of some encouragement. Mom and Dad worked out a time the following week to have them over for supper, and during some delightful conversation with these new friends, Dad mentioned the direction God was leading him—to run for office. We were unaware that this man’s forte was graphic design and printing—until he graciously offered to help us put together Dad’s campaign cards!

  Family photos were taken, and a few days later we were holding in our hands a professionally designed campaign card with our family picture on the front and, on the back, a message explaining the values Dad stood for. With several thousand of these printed up, Dad, Mom, Grandma Duggar, and a handful of friends began canvassing our legislative district, always with one or more of us kids in tow, knocking on doors and talking with the voters.

  By the time we took this photo in front of the U.S. Capitol, there were eleven Duggar kids, including the second set of twins, Jeremiah and Jedidiah.

  While most people were kind and gracious, some were not, and in those cases they were not afraid to speak their minds. The newspapers that interviewed Dad had already endorsed his Democrat opponent, and we began to notice that the articles they published about Dad were negative and slanted.

  Dad told us he went up to one house and knocked, and when a lady came to the door, he said, “Hi, I am Jim Bob Duggar, and I’m running for the office of state representa—”

  The lady immediately cut in and, obviously not of the same opinion when it comes to family size and children being considered a blessing from God, she said, “I know who you are, and I am not going to vote for you until you get a vasectomy!” Then she slammed the door in his face.

  Another incident occurred after a long day of campaign work when Mom called up one of our favorite hometown restaurants to order pizzas for supper. When she gave them her name, the employee on the other end of the line recognized who she was and told her, “Your husband is going to lose—and lose bad!”

  But because Mom and Dad knew this was what God had called our family to do, they didn’t let things like that discourage them; instead it reminded them to continue praying and trusting God. During family Bible time one evening, we discussed how being constantly worried about what other people think about us can hinder us from doing what is right. We prayed together as a family, giving God our reputation.

  In giving our family’s reputation to God, Mom and Dad were, in essence, saying, “God, we care what You think about us over anyone else, and no matter what other people may say against us, we are willing to keep doing what You have called us to do.” This freed us from those feelings of wanting to be people-pleasers, and instead set our focus back on faithfully doing what we knew God had asked of us.

  Little did any of us know what God had in store.

  When the votes were counted, Dad won with 56 percent of the vote.

  Our parents rented a house near Little Rock to live in while the legislature was in session, and Dad took some of us kids along each day to the capitol. We worked on our homeschool assignments while we sat in committee meetings or watched the proceedings from the House gallery. Since Josh was eleven years old then, he had the highly esteemed p
rivilege of working as a page from time to time. He could practically give the capitol tours because he knew the place inside and out, and he loved to converse with the representatives, gaining for himself the endearing title of “the little governor.” It was a wonderful, hands-on homeschool experience for us all.

  The next election cycle, Dad was reelected to a second term in the House of Representatives, and during that time he had another “lightning bolt” moment. This time he felt God urging him to run for the US Senate.

  By then, we Duggar kids felt we were old hands at campaigning. Usually accompanied by our parents or Grandma Duggar, we rang doorbells, passed out leaflets at county fairs, rode in parades, and asked people to vote for Dad every chance we got. We even wrote and recorded our own jingle for Dad’s statewide campaign.

  And then, he lost.

  We had worked hard, despite the fact that we were outspent by our opponent twenty to one. But even though he didn’t win, Dad said he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had called him to run for the national office. “God called us to run, but He didn’t promise we would win,” Dad told us. “As John Quincy Adams said, ‘Duty is ours; results are up to God.’ I know we did what God asked of us.”

  Dad led us in a prayer of thanksgiving for leading us through the race—and even thanked Him for the outcome. Then, at the end of the prayer, he said, “Lord, we are ready for our next assignment!”

  ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER . . .

  AS WE WERE FOLLOWING God’s leading with our political involvement, God opened up another—and very unexpected—door of influence. On Election Day, Mom and Dad had taken all of us kids along when they went to vote. They try to use everyday events as part of our homeschool training, and on that particular day, Mom had said that voting would serve as a civics class field trip for all of us Duggar children.

  It just so happened that an Associated Press photographer was at the polling place and took a picture of all of us (we numbered thirteen at the time) as we walked into the voting precinct. Dad later jokingly said, “If all the kids had been old enough to vote, I would have won by a large margin!”

  Our family found out later that the photo was picked up by the New York Times, which ran it with a caption identifying a US Senate candidate in Arkansas walking in to vote with his wife and their thirteen kids. A freelance writer saw the photo and wrote a story about our family that later appeared in Parents magazine, where it was noticed by Eileen O’Neill, the president of the Discovery Health Channel. She asked Bill Hayes with Figure 8 Films to call and ask Mom and Dad if they could do a one-hour documentary about our family.

  During Dad’s campaigns we loved dressing in red and making appearances together as a family.

  As with every major decision, our family prayed together about this one and sought wise, godly counsel. Mom and Dad believed this could be an avenue to share with the world their strong belief that children are a blessing from God, and believed it could be a way to encourage families to draw closer to Him and to each other. They told the network we would allow them to do the documentary as long as they didn’t edit out our faith in God, because that is the core of our lives.

  The executives agreed, saying, “It’s your story. You can tell it.”

  While they were filming the show, Mom became pregnant with our fifteenth sibling, Jackson, and he was born on the show. The name of that first show was 14 Children and Pregnant Again. It aired in 2004, pulling in what network officials said was one of the biggest audiences in Discovery Health Channel’s history. That first documentary led to another, which led to another, and another. After the fifth documentary the network asked if they could film a reality TV series with us.

  We had never even heard of that type of show, but we agreed to do it based upon our hope that it would enable our family to share encouraging Bible principles with many other people. We filmed a series called 17 Kids and Counting. Then Mom had another baby, and the name was changed to 18 Kids and Counting. Then to 19 Kids and Counting, which now airs on The Learning Channel (TLC).

  When Mom and Dad were asked to do the first documentary, none of us dreamed that it would turn into more than two hundred shows in ten years. We are powerfully encouraged by the hundreds of letters and e-mails we receive each week from families all over the world who have shared how their lives have been spiritually challenged by watching the shows. Many couples have told us they have started taking their family to church. We’ve learned of fathers who have started leading their family in Bible time each evening. We’ve even heard about abortions that have been canceled as women have decided to view their child for what it truly is—a blessing from God!

  Hearing about the TV show’s history often leads to the next frequently asked question: “What’s it like growing up with TV cameras around your house all the time? Is it difficult?”

  Well, first off, they are not around all the time. On average, our production crew usually films two or three days a week for two or three hours per day. The members of the film crew have become our dear friends, as close to us as family, as they have been a part of almost every major family event during the last several years. They were there when some of us older kids got our wisdom teeth pulled, and when the majority of our family got really ill with motion sickness during a sightseeing flight over the Grand Canyon. They cheered us on as we precariously boarded a jet boat for a wild ride up the Niagara River as well as when a few of us were determined to brave the twelve-thousand-foot jump out of a skydiving airplane.

  The cameras have captured a lot of smiles and laughter over the years, including a zillion birthday parties and quite a few births, one lovely wedding (featuring Josh and Anna as the bride and groom and twenty of their brothers and sisters as attendants), and some pretty exciting adventures all over the world. But the cameras have also continued to roll as we’ve struggled through challenge and heartache. They recorded the fear we faced when Josie was born several months early and Mom came closer to dying than any of us wanted to think about. And they were there when we grieved over Grandpa Duggar’s illness with brain cancer and also when he passed away. They were there for his funeral. And when we lost baby Jubilee in 2012, our grief was once again shared with millions of viewers.

  Even though these were very difficult times for us, we prayed that God would somehow use our sorrow and that others would see what a difference having faith in Jesus Christ can make when we go through hard times. As Scripture says, we don’t grieve as though who have no hope. We have seen that God used these times to draw us closer to Him and to each other, and we are comforted knowing that, without a doubt, we will see these loved ones again someday in heaven.

  Our desire is to build family unity and a oneness of spirit, which comes as we work to apply God’s principles to our daily lives. We look at the television show as our family ministry and as an opportunity to tell of God’s greatness and His love to those we might otherwise never have the opportunity to meet.

  Meanwhile, the show aims to satisfy the curiosity of the general public by providing an inside look at how a supersized family operates—from daily mounds of dirty laundry, dishes, and homeschool assignments, to the impending adventures that are certain to occur with any family outing or road trip. Throughout the years, our prayer has remained that people will see that it is only by God’s grace that our large but otherwise ordinary family can maintain strong relationships with one another and pull together through challenges big and small.

  We’ve grown up in front of the cameras filming our cable TV series 19 Kids and Counting. This photo was taken when we kids did our first TV interview with a local reporter back in 2000.

  It’s interesting to see how everything is linked—how one response to God’s calling leads to another: God prompted Dad to run for political office, and because of his obedience there, God continued to lead by opening other doors of ministry. Even though we will not always understand God’s leading at first, it’s vital that we follow where His Word guides us, regardless
of the opposition that comes our way. Otherwise we will miss out on the opportunities He’s providing to be a witness for Him.

  OUR CONTINUED INVOLVEMENT IN POLITICS

  DAD’S LOSS IN THAT Senate campaign did not end our involvement in politics. During the last few years we have been more involved than ever, and we’ve enjoyed helping behind the scenes with campaigns of conservative Christians running for office.

  We believe that our freedoms to vote for and support the candidates of our choosing are not something to be taken lightly. We’re thankful to God and to all the soldiers who have fought and died to keep those freedoms alive. We believe it’s our duty as citizens to get out and vote on Election Day and show our gratitude.

  If you have never been involved in helping a campaign, you are missing out on a lot of fun! We all love it. So here’s what you need to do:

  First, if you are eighteen or older, go register to vote.

  Second, find a conservative Christian who is running for office and then call and ask them where he or she stands on the issues.

  Third, check the candidate’s past voting record to see if it matches what you were told about his or her stand.

  Fourth, if those answers are satisfactory, volunteer to help in the candidate’s campaign. You don’t have to know much in advance because you will get on-the-job training (making phone calls, putting up yard signs, organizing events).

  Fifth, when you’re old enough to run for office, pray about taking up that challenge to make a difference.

  Patriot Academy and TeenPact are two excellent organizations that teach young people about the godly principles America was founded on and how government is supposed to work.

  Since Dad’s first experience in politics, our family has worked together to investigate and support candidates who share our conservative Christian beliefs. Almost every election cycle, we campaign for local and state candidates the same way we campaigned when Dad was running: we walk the neighborhoods, ringing doorbells to encourage residents to vote for our candidate.