Halfway Perfect

by Julie Cross

  Brad is scrolling again, pulling up another photo. “Look at this one. This @fashion_gossip81 chick got another picture of her a few days ago. I think she’s hittin’ the crack again. She’s melting away.”

  “She had pneumonia, you asswipe!” He’s hit a big giant nerve, which doesn’t happen too often with me. And before I even realize what I’m doing, my hands are gripping the front of Brad’s shirt and I’ve just slammed his back against the wall. I don’t even remember walking across the room.

  Brad lifts one eyebrow, reminding me of Dad, and gives me a split second to realize what I’ve started. I might have acquired a little more muscle power from my hours in the gym these past several months, but I had nothing on either of my brothers.

  Shit.

  With almost no effort at all, Brad lifts an arm, and his fist makes contact with the side of my face. My grip loosens on his shirt as I stumble backward a few steps. But one hit isn’t nearly enough to stifle my anger. Before I can stop myself, I’m diving forward, tackling my brother to the floor. He lands on his back, a loud thud echoing through the entire house.

  “Boys! Knock it off!” Dad shouts from upstairs, probably thinking this is just another indoor wrestling match.

  Brad and I freeze for a second and the hesitation is enough for me to get a good swing in, hitting his cheekbone just like he hit mine. And he looks pissed. So pissed I can tell he’s about to break my nose, but before he gets the chance, Jared, who is twice as strong as Brad, is yanking me to my feet.

  “Cut that shit out before Mom comes down here.” He shoves me across the dining room, positioning himself between Brad and me. He looks completely calm, like he’s already bored with this activity.

  Brad scrambles to his feet, straightening his shirt. I’m surprised to see a grin spread across his face. “Little bro’s learned how to throw a punch. One that’s actually got some force behind it.”

  Jared rolls his eyes. “Yeah, all those years of beating on him paid off.”

  Brad shrugs. “I don’t know about you, Jare, but I’m quite proud.”

  I’m rubbing my face. I can’t help it. There’s already a lump forming on my right cheekbone, and my eye feels puffy. Now that the adrenaline rush is fading, it hurts like hell.

  Jared, at twenty-two, seems to be so much more mature than Brad and me, because he ruins the potential for another fistfight by turning to me and saying, “Personally, I don’t give a shit if you take a million pictures in banana hammocks or whatever the fuck they’re called. I don’t care if you want to hook up with a dozen girls. But what pisses me off, and obviously Brad too, is that we know most of that is bullshit, and you don’t trust your own brothers with the truth. I’m not talking about Mom or Dad. Hell, I don’t tell them my personal shit, but Brad, he knows it all.”

  I plop down in a chair, running my hands over my eyes. “Trust me, you don’t want to know. You’re not going to get it. I don’t get it half the time.”

  “Right.” Brad takes his seat again, taking a long swig of his beer. “Us small-minded folk don’t understand complicated matters.”

  “That’s all right. He doesn’t have to tell us anything. Let’s just have a nice Christmas together, make Mom happy.” Jared has uncapped another bottle of beer. He hands it to me and sits down again, across from Brad. “Wanna play? We can deal you in.”

  I stare at them for several seconds, trying to figure out what the hell just happened and then I let out a short laugh, shaking my head. “Sure, I’ll play.”

  “Good, it’s much better with three,” Brad says.

  It feels like I’m in an alternate reality right now. If only I could punch a few people in New York and fix all the drama in my life.

  “How’s it going with Dad?” I ask Jared after a few hands of Texas hold ’em. “Work and all?”

  “It’s all right.” Jared shrugs. “I wish he’d quit being so hardheaded and admit that he can’t work the hours he used to. His back is shit right now.”

  “I thought that surgery helped him?” After throwing out his back a dozen times, my dad finally went to see a doctor last summer who said he needed surgery to repair a ruptured disk.

  “It did,” Brad says, “But he’s not exactly a teenager anymore, and Jared’s got everything under control, got the books all squared away and the staff managed. He doesn’t need to be on-site lifting shit every day.”

  Huh. Jared must be doing more of a manager thing then. I don’t think my mom ever said anything about that on the phone. I figured he was just getting by, helping out enough to count as an employee. High school football stars like Jared tend to get a lot of things handed to them. Not that he’s an asshole or anything, but I’ve never thought of him as the responsible, manager type.

  “Dad’s done manual labor all his life.” Jared steals a drink of my beer even though he said he didn’t want any more. “If he’s not working, I don’t think he knows what to do with himself.”

  My dad is not a man of many words. He’s quiet and calculating and would rather get his hands into a project as a method of getting to know someone or catching up with his sons than sitting down to a card game and a few beers.

  Brad suddenly straightens up in his chair. “I think I heard the TV go off upstairs.”

  Jared gets up and tiptoes over to the back door that’s right behind me. He turns the vertical blinds just enough to get a partial view of the deck my dad built himself. It surrounds our aboveground pool.

  I glance back and forth between the two of them. “What? Is there an eclipse that I didn’t hear about or something? A new hot neighbor that rakes leaves naked at midnight?”

  Brad shuffles the cards and then starts to deal a new hand. “Didn’t you hear Katie ask Mom about Jenna Phillips’s party?”

  “Yeah, but Dad told her no—” I snap my head to look outside. “You think she’ll sneak out?”

  “I’d bet my Mustang on it,” Jared says.

  “Jenna Phillips’s party.” I let out a sigh, hating how old Katie is getting. “I was there last year.”

  Jenna Phillips is the youngest of three hot, popular sisters in my high school. She’s a senior this year, and her older sister, Ally, was a year older than me, and Ruby is the same age as Brad. I was lucky enough to get sandwiched between two of them age-wise and thus had four years of the best high school parties. And the best part was that they only live two blocks away.

  But Katie…no way should she be anywhere near one of those drunken, lust-filled celebrations.

  Sure enough, after two more hands of cards, a pair of pink and blue Nikes dangle down from the second floor into view.

  Brad snorts really loud. “Leave it to our dorky jock sister to wear gym shoes to a party.”

  I can now see the strap of the Prada bag I gave her in secret earlier today also dangling down. “I bet she’s got some tall shoes tucked into that bag.”

  Both Brad and Jared turn to stare at me, like they can’t figure out how I might have guessed that. “I don’t keep high heels in a purse, if that’s what you’re wondering. It’s a New York thing. Everybody walks a lot. You swap shoes right before you get where you’re going.”

  “Okay then.” Brad shakes his head. “Maybe she’s smarter than we thought.”

  Jared whips out a flashlight. We wait until Katie’s feet hit the deck and she’s got her back to the door before the three of us get up from our chairs and move toward the sliding glass door. She’s already in the grass crunching leaves under her shoes, so she doesn’t hear us carefully slipping out into the cold.

  The flashlight is clicked on and aimed right at her. Jared whispers loudly into the dark, “Where you headed, little sis?”

  Katie turns slowly, revealing her panicked face and her heavy makeup and carefully styled hair. “Just going out for a run. Can’t believe cross-country’s over already. Don’t want to get out of shape.”r />
  “Wait…do you hear that?” Brad says dramatically. “I think that’s music coming from the Phillips’s house. I bet they’ve got a mean game of Monopoly going on over there. What do you think, Alex?”

  I look over at Brad before saying, “I’d put my money on Twister.”

  Katie folds her arms across her chest, glaring at us. “Fine! Tell Mom and Dad. Go in and tell them right now. I’m going anyway, and I’ll deal with the consequences later.”

  “If we do that, you won’t be driving until you’re thirty,” Jared says. “Consider us catching you, instead of Mom or Dad, a gift.” He nods toward the door. “Now get your ass inside.”

  I look over at Jared and realize he’s telling the truth. He’ll never tell our parents about Katie sneaking out if she gives up without a fight. I wonder how many secrets he’s keeping of mine.If I searched my memories long enough, I could probably find dozens, between him and Brad.

  The only problem is, Katie’s not budging. I can tell she really wants to go to that party. Hell, I went to that party freshman year, so who am I to say she can’t go? Now, I’m looking at Brad, who seems to be reading my mind. I didn’t go there alone freshman year. I went with my much cooler senior brother who got crazy drunk but somehow still managed to keep me out of trouble.

  Brad looks at Jared. “She’ll just try to do it again when we’re not here. We can’t play dining room patrol officer forever. I don’t even like playing cards.”

  So they planned this stakeout all along. What else had they been doing to keep Katie out of trouble that I didn’t know about? I always thought it was me who looked out for her. I guess that’s kind of hard to do from across the country.

  Jared lets out a breath, obviously conceding. He nods to Brad and says, “Leave a note in case Mom gets up. Just say we went to Benny’s for ice cream.”

  We cross the yard together as Katie removes a pair of black ankle boots from her bag and slides them on. If she ditched the glasses and the braces, she’d actually be on her way to looking like a high school girl. That’s a revelation that I hate even more than her going to this party.

  Jared stops at the end of the driveway to the Phillips house. “I think I’m gonna wait outside.”

  “It’s fucking cold out here,” Brad says. “Come on, free beer and loud music. What's there to think about?”

  Jared shrugs. “I’ll probably freak those kids out. They’ll think I’m someone’s dad showing up to bust everyone.”

  Katie rolls her eyes. “No one is going to think that.”

  He’s still deliberating when Katie bounces toward the door. Finally Jared sighs and says, “Let me call Leslie first, just so she doesn’t hear from someone else that I was hanging out with high school girls.” He shudders like the thought is so absurd.

  Brad and I leave him alone and enter the party house. We’re hit with loud country music the second we open the front door. It’s hot as hell in here from the dozens and dozens of bodies bouncing around all over the house.

  Brad elbows me in the side, nodding toward the door. “He wants to marry her.”

  “Who? Leslie?” I can’t fathom the idea of any of my siblings getting married.

  “Yeah, he’s saving up for a ring.”

  “Maybe he should get his own place first before worrying about jewelry.” It slips out before I can stop it. I know right away that I sound like a judgmental prick.

  Brad glares at me. “He has a place. He pays more than half of the rent at Leslie’s apartment. She needed help with the bills. Her teaching salary isn’t much, and she’s got a ton of student loans. Jared’s not gonna jump into this wedding thing until he knows he can afford it. Leslie’s parents are nice and all, but they’re broke as hell, and you know Mom and Dad aren’t exactly debt free either.”

  No, I didn’t know that, actually. But I can’t respond because Jenna and Ally Phillips have just spotted us.

  “Oh my God!” Jenna says. “Alex and Bradley Evans at my party.”

  Ally laughs at her. “Oh, it’s your party now?”

  “Just keepin’ an eye on Baby Evans.” Brad points at Katie, who appears to have found some friends to talk to. Two of them are male, which distracts me even more from my conversation with Brad. These guys appear to have the mannerisms of awkward freshmen.

  “I always forget that Katie’s your sister,” Jenna says, looking right at me. “She looks a lot more like you than Bradley though.”

  Ally hands us each a red Solo cup of beer. “Let’s toast to being done with high school, shall we?”

  I raise my glass and stop when I see a short blond girl. Lindsey, my ex-girlfriend. Brad’s gaze follows mine and he spots her too, across the room. He elbows me in the side again. “Go say hi, break the ice, and get the awkward shit out of the way.”

  I down my entire cup of beer and get a refill before mustering up the courage to face Lindsey. I can tell by her expression that she’d already spotted me in the last few minutes.

  “Hey, Alex,” she says. “How’s it going?”

  I scratch the back of my head, trying to make eye contact. “Good. Just came here with Katie and my brothers. We’re doing the chaperone thing.”

  I look down at my cup, feeling the weight of a big wall between me and this person I used to know very well, maybe better than anyone else. “So how’s school?”

  She smiles like she knows I’m working hard at this conversation. “It’s good. How's New York? I heard you’ve got yourself a hot French model for a girlfriend.”

  My pulse speeds up a bit, anticipating more tension, but Lindsey looks amused. “It’s kind of crazy right now, so I’m glad to be home for a little while. What about you? Any new boyfriends?”

  “Yeah,” she says, watching my face carefully. “Simon Wallace.”

  Okay, I was expecting some college boy not from our hometown or our circle of friends from high school, but whatever. I take another drink, finishing off my second cup of beer. “That’s cool. Simon’s a good guy.”

  She looks relieved, like maybe she thought my feelings would be hurt. I don’t think of Lindsey like that anymore, but I’m not sure when it stopped. Before Eve, would I have felt a twinge of jealousy hearing about Lindsey and Simon? Possibly. Probably.

  Both of us are quiet now, staring at these two kids making out. They look like freshmen, maybe sophomores.

  “It’s weird, isn’t it?” Lindsay says. “How you can really think you’re in love until the next person comes along and then it’s like, okay, this is actually love. I’m sure it’s the same way for you and Elana.”

  I keep my eyes on the kids swapping spit and let my mind drift to a couple of years ago when Lindsey and I stood not far from that spot, having our own make-out session. And yeah, there was a time when I thought I loved her, but eventually I started to wonder if maybe I wasn’t built for that sort of thing.

  Until Eve.

  For the first time since Wes interrupted our perfect weekend together, I let myself think about her without the logic and the work stuff getting in the way. I’ve never in my life been so content to do anything and nothing at all with one person. I can’t imagine ever feeling that way with anyone else again. And I’ve had an entire month to get over her. Do I need another month or will I be stuck like this forever?

  Simon Wallace walks through the front door right then, and Lindsey's face perks up. She turns to me and gives me a quick hug. “It was good to see you, Alex.”

  “Yeah, you too.” She walks over to Simon, and he throws a wary glance in my direction, but I smile and wave before turning my back on them and scanning the room for Brad, Jared, or Katie.

  Both my brothers come up behind me, offering up more beer. I’m already getting pretty buzzed, but at least the party was close enough for us to walk.

  “How’d it go?” Brad asks. “Nobody threw a punch. That’s always a good
sign.”

  “So you knew about her and Simon?” I ask him and he nods. “It’s no big deal. Simon’s cool.”

  “What about this punk Katie’s talking to?” Jared says, pointing to her, not even attempting to be discreet. “Do we know anything about this kid?”

  Katie glances in our direction, using her eyes to try and tell us to back off. Brad grabs the back of the shirt of a puny kid who walks past him. “Hey dude, who’s that kid over there by the kitchen door?”

  Brad turns the kid to face Katie, who looks absolutely mortified.

  “The one talking to the blond chick with the black boots?” the kid squeaks out.

  “Don’t ever refer to her as a blond chick, got it?” Brad says.

  Jared rolls his eyes. “What’s his name?”

  “Dave…Dave Mackler,” the kid says, turning red in the face.

  “And do you know Dave Mackler?” I ask.

  Brad releases him and the kid slowly turns to face us. “Uh, yeah, we’re sort of friends, but I’ve never talked to Katie before, I swear.”

  “Does Little Davie Mackler have any outstanding qualities?” Brad asks.

  I think Brad is enjoying this most of all, but I can’t say that I’m not getting a kick out of this kid who’s about to piss his pants.

  “Well, he’s in advanced math, and so am I. And he runs cross-country, but he’s not as fast as Katie.”

  “Of course he’s not,” Jared says. “She’s an Evans.”

  The three of us look over at Dave Mackler, who is extremely skinny but on the tall side for a freshman. His skin is clear, and his clothes are fashionable enough to blend in, but he doesn't reek of popular kid or anything. He doesn’t look extremely uncomfortable talking to a girl, but he’s not trying to make a move or anything. He’s basically me, four years ago. Which honestly isn’t too scary of a thought.

  “Let’s go out back for a while,” I say to Jared and Brad. “Katie’s fine.”

  We get more beer before heading out and I can already tell that I’m going to be way more drunk than my brothers due to the size difference. I toss my hat on and button up my jacket when the cold air hits me. Jared got stuck inside talking to Ruby Phillips, so I hit Brad up for more details on our earlier conversation.