Interlude

by Chantele Sedgwick

  “I wouldn’t say well …”

  “How long have you been playing?”

  “A while.”

  “As in … A year? Two?”

  “Thirteen.”

  Before I know what’s happening, he’s pulling me out of the booth and across the room. He sits me down and opens the piano, exposing chipped and yellowed keys. “Play.”

  “Jax …”

  “Thirteen years? Come on. That’s like forever. You have to know at least one song. Didn’t your teacher make you memorize any?”

  I want to humor him and play chopsticks or something easy like that, but I can’t bring myself to do that. Instead, I stare at the keys as my fingers find the right notes by themselves. “Okay. Maybe just a little song.” I smile, happy to be in my zone for a moment, and pretend no one but Jax is in the room. I decide on one of my favorites, “Maple Leaf Rag,” and the second I start playing, people behind me start clapping along and hollering.

  My fingers fly over the keys as the music fills the restaurant, and Jax just stands there, leaning next to the edge of the piano, tapping his hand on the wood. I don’t look at him. I can feel his stare, but I’m so invested in my song that it doesn’t really bother me for once.

  By the time I come to the end of my song, the piano is surrounded by people. I see cameras flashing, which is weird, I swear I’m not that good, but then I remember Jax is here and people know him.

  I end with a fun glissando of my own making and a loud chord at the end. The chord echoes through the room, and when I take my fingers off the keys, the room explodes in applause.

  My face is bright red, I’m sure, but as Jax grabs my hand and tells me to take a bow, I oblige. I’ve never been so … flattered before. I do a little curtsey before beelining it to our booth again.

  I sit down and put my face in my hands, but I’m all smiles.

  “That was amazing,” Jax said. “I didn’t know you were that good.”

  I shrug. “I’m not.”

  “Right.” He cracks a smile. “But seriously. I could feel the electricity coming off you as you played that piano. You love it.”

  I nod, the adrenaline still flowing through my veins, making me feel higher than I have in a long time. “I do.”

  The waiter comes over and sets the pizza down on the table. “That was amazing, miss. We don’t have people play very often. Too afraid to show their talents. Well done. Be sure to visit us again.” He nods at me and walks away.

  I’m not really sure what to say now but I’m grateful for his words. It makes me realize how much I love music. How much I’d love to play professionally. Not to the extent of being famous, but being in the background doing what I love would be awesome.

  Jax grabs a slice of pizza and puts it on his plate. He gestures for me to do the same. “Ready to fall in love?”

  I stare at him as he takes a bite of his slice. He’s so cute as he closes his eyes like he’s just eaten the best thing on earth. “Heaven,” he says before taking another bite.

  “Oh, fine. Let me try it.” I pick up a slice and bite off the tip and am greeted with an explosion of spices in my mouth. Delicious. I exaggerate a sigh, just for his benefit, and start laughing.

  He rolls his eyes. “Very funny. But for real. Do you like it?”

  I have to agree. It’s amazing. “It’s awesome. Best pizza I’ve ever tasted.”

  “Really?” He gives me a skeptical look.

  “Really. Thanks for showing me this little piece of Heaven.” I sigh. “Maddy would love this place.”

  “You can bring her someday.” He says it so matter-of-factly that I really wish it were possible. And maybe it still can be. After tonight, I’ll know. “Does she play the piano like you?”

  “No. She actually plays the violin.”

  “Ah. I like the violin. When it can be played well. Not when it sounds like your ears are being scratched out.”

  I almost spit water out of my mouth. “Agreed. She’s really good, though. First chair in her high school orchestra.”

  “Awesome.”

  “We’ve done a few duets. I love playing with her.”

  We sit in comfortable silence as we finish our food. By the time the pizza is halfway gone, we’re both stuffed.

  “I wish we could get a to-go box, but we’re not going to be by a fridge anytime soon.”

  Jax nods. “You ready to go?”

  “Yep.” As he pays the waiter, I take a good look around this wonderful little place again. At the old, worn piano that has a crisp sound even though some of the keys are chipped and cracked. Places like this may be old and worn, but they’re still worth something. And from all the napkins lining the walls, it’s clear that a lot of people think the same thing.

  “Off to see Ground Zero.” Jax takes my hand and laces his fingers through mine. He looks down at me, making sure it’s okay, and all I can do is smile and nod as he leads me to the door.

  CHAPTER 19

  I want to be clean, I want to heal

  Emptiness is all I’ll ever feel.

  —J.S.

  It’s so quiet here. Even with the noise of traffic in the background, Ground Zero has a different feel. Peaceful. Silent. I think of all the men and women who died that day as I run my fingers over the black stone engraved with all the names that surround the pools. So many names. Still so hard to comprehend what that day must have been like at this very spot.

  I can’t even imagine.

  Jax gives my hand a gentle squeeze and leads me to the next one, through the beautiful green trees planted all around the memorial. I don’t know how this place could be any more breathtaking, but when the trees are huge and full grown, it will be.

  We reach the next pool and I study some of the names in the stone. I don’t know these people, but they’re a part of me. They’re a part of everyone, I think, and I know they’re watching over their loved ones from up above.

  “It’s hard to think about, huh?” he says as he stares into the pool.

  “Yeah.” I glance at a group of people walking quietly around the pool. Some reach out and touch the names, some just fold their arms and stare. It’s interesting how different people react to things.

  I watch how the water slides down the black stone and into the fountain. I love that they made the memorial like this. With the water always moving, always flowing. It makes me realize how resilient our country is. How hopeful we are. How we’re able to keep moving forward even when bad things knock us down.

  We’re all made that way, I think. Some of us have to search deeper than others when things get us down, but that spark of hope that keeps us going when life gets hard is always there. It’s somewhere inside all of us, even when we think we’ve lost it.

  It’s all I can count on when I think of my sister.

  We walk slowly around, me touching the names, Jax with his hands in his pockets. When he speaks again, I jump. “So, I’m curious,” he says. “If your mom … or … That woman tonight doesn’t want to donate a kidney to your sister, what are you going to do?”

  I don’t want to think about that. But I have to. It’s a huge possibility. “I guess I’ll just start over. Look for someone else who can.”

  “And if you can’t find anyone then?”

  I fold my arms and let out a slow breath. “Then I help her fight until she can’t anymore. I know she’ll be okay … whatever happens.”

  He nods. “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”

  “Not really.”

  “You love her. That’s obvious. But I have a feeling you’d do this for anyone. Friends, parents, other siblings.”

  “Yes. I would. My family is very close, so I’d definitely do anything for them. My dad had a lot on his plate after Carmen left, and he’s been there for me like no one else has. Came to every piano recital, every soccer game when I was little. It didn’t matter what it was. He has always supported me and has always been there. And my mom, too. When she married my dad, she was wonde
rful. I know a lot of people don’t get along with their step-parents, but my mom is the best mom I could ever have asked for. She’s helped me through so many things.”

  I swallow, getting emotional for some reason. I never thought about how much she’s been involved in my life and how lucky I am to have such supportive parents. They mean everything to me. I need to tell them that when I get home. I don’t tell them enough, if at all.

  He shakes his head. “You’re amazing. Doing so much to save your sister.”

  “Wouldn’t you? If you had the chance to save someone’s life, wouldn’t you take it?”

  “I definitely would.” He sighs. “But I have to save myself first.”

  He doesn’t elaborate and I don’t push him. I glance up at him, seeing the tortured look on his face. There’s something there. Some darkness trying to find its way out. Instead of asking if he’s okay, I link my arm with his and we just enjoy our time together, both of us lost in thoughts we don’t really want in our heads.

  “So, tell me about your mom,” I say.

  My phone rings as I walk, and as I see the name on the caller ID, I smile.

  “Maddy?” I almost yell. “Hey! Are you okay?”

  “Hey,” she says. Her voice is almost a whisper. “I just … when are you coming home?”

  I push down the panic that creeps through my body. “Soon. Why? What’s wrong?” I try to keep my voice neutral so she won’t hear the worry.

  She’s quiet a moment before she continues. “Mia, I don’t think I have very much longer. The doctors say there’s nothing more they can do unless I get a donor.” I bite my lip, fighting the tears filling my eyes. “I’m okay with it. But I just … I need you with me when it’s time. You know. For me to go. And I’m pretty sure it’s close. My body isn’t cooperating anymore.”

  “Don’t give up, Maddy. Please.” My voice cracks on the last word and I glance at Jax, who watches me, understanding.

  “They’re going to try some new medication to see if that changes anything. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

  “I’m sure it will be fine.”

  She’s quiet. “Just come home soon, okay? Have you seen Carmen yet?”

  “No. A few more hours.”

  “Good luck. I’d be freaking out if I were you.”

  “Believe me. I am.” I clear my throat, “I’ll get a flight as soon as possible, okay?”

  “Okay.” I hear her let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Love you,” I say.

  “Love you, too.”

  I stare at her picture on my phone before it disappears.

  “Everything okay?” Jax asks.

  I shake my head. “I have to go see Carmen now.” I check the time on my phone. It’s almost five. I blink back tears and fight to keep my emotions under control. There will be time to cry later.

  “Let’s go then.”

  My fingers find his, as if they knew I’d need some kind of lifeline to help me put one foot in front of the other, and we walk back to the street, past the pools of names and families still grieving over their lost loved ones.

  I don’t want to grieve over someone so close. This idea of mine has to work. Carmen will understand.

  She has to understand.

  CHAPTER 20

  People aren’t always what they seem.

  Even when you think they are.

  —J.S.

  This street is more like the movies I’ve seen. More deserted, not as happy, kind of scary. A few people stand outside the apartment complex and I’m getting this sudden urge to stay in the cab.

  “This is it,” Jax says.

  The cab pulls over and a few people standing around on the sidewalk glance over at us. Jax opens the door and gets out as I force myself to slide across the seat to do the same. He tips the cab driver and I watch as he drives away without us.

  We’re stuck in this place and who knows if we’ll be able to catch another cab. What if we’re stuck here all night?

  Jax sets a hand on my back and leans toward me. “You ready? We should probably move.”

  I glance around, feeling very out of place. And very overwhelmed. My real mother is somewhere in this apartment complex and has no idea I’m standing outside. I start toward the door and try to open it, but it’s locked. “What do we do?”

  “Have someone buzz us in, or wait for someone to come out and make them believe we live here.”

  Who knows how long that will take. I sigh, defeated. “Great.”

  “You okay?”

  I’m shaking. I didn’t realize it before, but I can feel my body trembling now. “Huh? Oh. Um … Yes.” I rub at the goosebumps rippling across my arms. I can’t stop thinking about Maddy’s phone call. If she wants me to come home that bad, she must be getting worse. I have to book a flight tonight. As soon as possible.

  Jax looks at the names of the people living in the apartment listed by an intercom attached to the wall. “Carmen Santalina?”

  “Yes. That’s her.”

  “She’s in 5B. Should I buzz her to let us in?”

  I’m not sure what to do. Should I push the intercom button and tell her who I am? Would she even let me in? I turn and stare at the red brick building. It’s old, that’s for sure, but it doesn’t look too bad on the outside. A little scary, yes, but not bad. Hopefully it’s not scary inside.

  “Should I buzz her then?” Jax asks.

  “I don’t know.” I can feel peoples’ eyes on us as we stand in front of the doors. We really should get inside. It’s getting sketchy out here. “Jax, look.”

  A man walks toward the door from the inside, and when he opens it, he bumps into me. Jax pulls me out of the way and catches the door as the grumpy man brushes past us and onto the street. “Thanks,” Jax says to the man, but he doesn’t even look at him. Just gives me an annoyed look instead.

  I’m expecting the man to turn around and stop us from going inside, but he doesn’t. All he does is mutter something under his breath and walks away.

  “Well, that was easy,” I say.

  We’re standing inside now and I’m staring down the hall. I try to tell my feet to move, but they don’t. I can’t. Jax’s fingers find mine and I let him lead me down the hall and up five flights of stairs.

  “Do you want me to come with you this time?”

  “What?” My mind is everywhere.

  Jax squeezes my hand and I make myself focus on him. “Do you want me to come with you? You look like you’re gonna throw up or something.”

  “I feel like I’m going to.” I give him a shaky smile. “And no. I’m okay. I’ll go in myself.” I think. I hope. We’ll see.

  “Okay.” We stop in front of 5B. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “Mia. This is New York. And by the time you get out of here, it will be dark. I don’t care how stubborn or brave you think you are. There’s no way I’m letting you walk back out of this apartment complex by yourself.”

  I want to argue, but I’m too on edge to do anything but nod.

  Jax squeezes my hand again before letting go. “It’s okay. It will be fine. Take a deep breath and knock on the door.”

  I can do that. Knock on the door. I’m not sure if I can stand here and wait for someone to answer, but at least I can knock, right?

  I twist my hands together and stare at the door, expecting it to open by itself. It doesn’t. I want to run away right now. I shouldn’t be here, I should be at home with Maddy. With my brother and my parents. But I have to do this. I have to save Maddy. And Carmen is the only one who can help me now.

  She’s her only chance.

  What do I look like? A mess? I pull my elastic out of my hair and let my dark hair fall around my shoulders. I glance at Jax. “Do I look horrible? Tell me the truth please.”

  He’s staring at me as I shake my hair out again, his mouth half open. He swallows. “Um … no. Far from it.”

 
“Oh. Okay.” That makes me feel a little better, but he could just be lying to be nice. He doesn’t seem like the lying type, though.

  After I smooth my hair down and roll my shoulders to get the tension out, I think I’m ready.

  My body trembles as I lift my right hand to the door. I knock. It’s small, but enough to be heard, I think. Footsteps sound. A child yells something in the background and I hear running feet.

  I take a deep breath as the door opens.

  And I’m staring into the face of a girl.

  A girl who looks like Maddy.

  CHAPTER 21

  Words mean nothing to those who don’t listen.

  They bounce off them, not leaving a mark and end up dying in the wind.

  Listen.

  —J.S.

  I’m so startled, all I can do is stare at her.

  “Como te puedo ayudar?” The girl looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. She’s younger, I’d guess twelve maybe. She has darker skin than mine, but there’s no doubt she’s related. Her and Maddy could be twins. Their small noses, thin lips, dark eyes. She could be a cousin, but I have a feeling she’s much more than that.

  “Hola?”

  I swear my mouth works. My voice, too. But when I try to say something coherent, all that comes out is, “Uh …” I shake my head, trying to tell her I don’t understand. Even though I do know she said hello. That’s about all the Spanish I know.

  The girl smiles. “Oh. English?”

  I nod, relieved my brain is sort of working again. “Is, um, Carmen here?”

  “Yes, she is. Just a minute.” Her accent is thick, her voice musical and bright. She gestures for me to come inside and I follow her, taking one last glance at Jax before she shuts the door. “Mama! There’s someone here to see you!”

  Mama. This girl is my sister. Half-sister, but blood-related. I have another sister. I wonder if Dad knows she had another child. How many other children does she have?

  I hear a shout from somewhere in the back of the apartment, but my attention is on the woman standing in the doorway of what I think is the kitchen. She holds a dishtowel in her hand and stares. I know she’s not my mother, but she looks like her just the same. Looks like me. The dark brown hair, tanned skin, chocolate eyes. Her mouth drops open when she sees me and she puts a hand to her chest. I watch her walk across the room toward me, her eyes never leaving my face.