Interlude

by Chantele Sedgwick

  “Do you need anything?”

  “No.” I don’t know why I’m in such a bad mood, but I am. “Thanks,” I add. I don’t want her to think I’m mad at her. I’m not. I’m just mad at the world in general.

  Mom’s phone rings. “It’s Dad.” She glances at Maddy. “Be right back.” She hurries and steps outside as she answers her phone.

  The room’s silent, save for the ticking clock on the wall. “Mia?”

  My eyes widen as Maddy whispers my name. I about jump off my chair and go to her. “Maddy? I’m here. You okay?”

  She reaches out and takes my hand. Her face is white and her breathing labored. “It hurts.”

  Tears prick my eyes. “What does?”

  “Everything.”

  I pull her blanket around her and try my best to make her more comfortable. “Do you need me to get the nurse?”

  She slowly shakes her head. “I just … don’t leave me. Okay?”

  “Never.” I keep hold of her hand and climb on the bed next to her. She leans her head on my shoulder and I feel hot tears soak through my shirt. My lip quivers. “You’re crying.”

  “Am I?” She sniffs.

  “I’m the emotional one. Not you.” My eyes fill with tears. “Don’t cry, Mads. Please don’t cry.”

  “Can’t help it.” Her shoulders quake as I quietly rock her body. “I just … I’m going to miss you so much.”

  “Don’t say that.” Tears slide down my cheeks and lose themselves in her hair.

  “I love you, Mia.” Her grip tightens as much as it can and I squeeze back, making sure I don’t hurt her. “I just … want you to … know that. I love you.” Her entire body shakes in my arms as she cries.

  I can feel a sob coming, but I hold it in long enough to tell her the same. “I love you, too.”

  CHAPTER 28

  Safety lies with only you.

  Before, I never knew what to do.

  Who I was, or where I’d be.

  I’m finding myself. Finding me.

  —J.S.

  After spending all day yesterday at the hospital, my parents made me stay home today. And I feel the need to do something. Anything to keep my mind off Maddy. So here I sit at the piano, my fingers running over the slick, ivory keys. I don’t know what to play today. Something sad? Something happy? I have no idea. The music isn’t coming to me, so I just sit and stare. A melody does fill my senses, but instead of sharing it with everyone else, I decide to keep it locked away. A song that will never be heard by anyone but me.

  Man, I’m depressing.

  I plunk my fingers down on a chord and let them take over. When I realize what I’m playing, a Blue Fire song, I pull my fingers away and smack myself softly on the cheek for good measure

  Stop it, Mia. Quit being an annoying love-sick girl. It’s time to move on.

  Move on from what, though? We didn’t even have anything.

  But I know we did. And that’s what hurts the most.

  Mom pokes her head into the music room. “Oh. You’re in here? I thought you were outside.”

  “Nope.” I’ve been sitting here for an hour at least. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve never had a hard time playing before.

  “You okay?”

  “Fine.” I give her a super fake smile, but she doesn’t notice.

  “Oh. Good. Are you on dinner tonight?”

  “I don’t remember.”

  “Can you be? I’m going up to the hospital right now to sit with Maddy.”

  “Can I come?”

  She shakes her head. “You need to relax here today. We know you haven’t been sleeping well. Take a nap. Get some sleep tonight. You can come with me tomorrow.”

  “Fine.”

  “So … dinner?”

  “Sure.” I stand and walk slowly down the hall. “What does everyone want?”

  “Whatever. Just something healthy. I’ll see you guys later.”

  “Healthy shmealthy,” I mutter under my breath as she shuts the garage door. I’m sure Mom will be in Heaven eating at the hospital tonight. I swear she secretly orders the unhealthy stuff when we’re not there while we sit at home and eat … Tofu. And fat-free crap.

  Nice.

  Is it too much to ask for a nice, fat cheeseburger?

  “What does everyone want for dinner? Dad? Zack?”

  “Whatever,” Dad yells.

  “Pizza!” Zack shouts from downstairs.

  I look through our pantry and cringe at the bareness of it. There’s seriously nothing to eat. Kale chips? Really? I scowl at the bag and grab a little pack of Cheetos sitting next to it. They’re probably Zack’s, but I don’t care tonight. I’ll buy him another one. I don’t know why he gets to eat yummy stuff, when Mom won’t let the rest of us eat anything.

  I plop down at the table, open the Cheetos, and finish the bag off in less than a minute, I swear. I even lick the cheese off my fingers. I feel satisfied.

  The doorbell rings and I don’t hear anyone running to get it so I sigh and stand. “Don’t worry about getting up, guys. I’m on it.” No one in this family ever answers the door but me. They do the same thing with the landline. If it rings, no one picks up the freaking phone. Drives me crazy. We even have caller ID. And if you don’t know who’s at the door, look out the window. Not that hard.

  “Thanks!” Dad laughs from the other room and I smile. It’s good to hear him laughing. We don’t have a lot of laughter in the house these days.

  I shuffle my feet and wipe my hands on my jeans, making sure all the cheese is off, and turn the doorknob to open the door.

  A woman with chocolate hair and big brown eyes stares back at me. It takes me a second to recognize her, since I only saw her for maybe a minute, but my mouth drops open when I realize who it is.

  Carmen’s sister.

  Ana.

  My aunt.

  “Mia?” she asks, a nervous look on her face.

  I’m Mia. She said my name. Why am I not saying anything back?

  I close my mouth and take a step back, my fingers hovering on the doorknob. I glance around for any sign of Carmen, but there is none. Why would my aunt be here? How does she know where I live? What the heck is going on? I need answers, but I don’t know what to ask. So I say the first thing that comes to my mind instead.

  “Um, hi?”

  I don’t know why that’s my go-to phrase, but it is. And it’s annoying. So, when she doesn’t say anything, I try again. “What are you doing here?” I know I should have said something else, but my mouth speaks before my brain works sometimes.

  “I wanted to speak with you. And your familia.” Her beautiful Spanish accent is just as strong as my grandmother’s was. The grandmother I met for two seconds. I wonder why Carmen doesn’t have that thick of an accent. It’s there, but barely.

  “Why?”

  “To apologize. For the way your mother … my sister acted. And …” She holds up what looks to be a note or letter, adjusts her grip on the suitcase she has in her other hand, and gives me an expectant look. ”May I come in? We need to talk.”

  CHAPTER 29

  Happiness is always there, you just have to look for it.

  Look inside your soul, you heart, your mind.

  It’s really not that hard to find.

  —J.S.

  “Mia? Who is it?” Dad’s voice echoes through the house, but I’m too stunned to answer.

  After the initial shock wears off, I manage to invite Ana in. She sets her suitcase down in front of her and looks up as Dad walks in the room.

  I’m not sure what to expect. Yelling? Ignoring? Sighing? Instead, Dad surprises me. “Ana?” he says. “What are you doing here?”

  “It’s nice to see you, Russ.”

  “Have a seat,” I say, gesturing to one of the couches in the front room. I glance at Dad, but he’s watching Ana.

  She sits on the couch and we sit across from her, both with questions on the tips of our tongues, but neither of us says anythin
g.

  “I’m sorry to show up so unexpectedly. I apologize I didn’t call beforehand.”

  No words, just more staring.

  She shifts, obviously uncomfortable with our eyes on her. “I … Mia, when you showed up at Carmen’s home last week, I had so many questions I wasn’t able to ask. Once I spoke with Carmen after you left, I got most of the answers I needed and the courage to act. I’m sorry I’ve been absent for nearly your entire life. There are no excuses. Only regrets.”

  Dad looks tired. “Ana, why are you really here?”

  She plays with the letter still in her hand. “I’m here because I want to donate my kidney. I want to save my sobrina’s life.”

  Dad glances at me and I try to talk, but I’m so shocked and so full of emotion that I just sit there. Dad puts his arm around my suddenly shaking shoulders.

  “You came all this way for Maddy?”

  She nods. “Of course. She’s family.”

  Dad’s eyes get teary and he clears his throat. “You—” He shakes his head. “You have no idea how much this means to us.”

  “All I want is to help the family I lost so many years ago. I know how much she hurt you. How much she took from you. And I’m so sorry.”

  Dad stands and crosses the room to wrap her in a hug. “Thank you, Ana. Thank you so much for coming and for caring about Madison so much.” He pulls away.

  “You’re welcome.”

  I still can’t speak. All I can do is wipe tears away and reach for a tissue.

  “What do I need to do first?” Ana asks. “I’d like to get things done as quickly as possible.”

  “You’ll have to get a blood test so they can match blood type and a bunch of other things before you’re good to donate.” Dad pulls out his phone. “Do you want me to call and schedule it?”

  “Yes. That would be great.”

  “You can stay here if you’d like or we can put you up in a hotel downtown.”

  Ana smiles. “Thank you, but I have a room already. I may need a ride to get there, though. I just sent the taxi away.”

  “We can give you a ride, no problem.” Dad walks away as he puts his phone up to his ear.

  I’m still staring. “I don’t really know what to say. When I left Carmen’s house, I couldn’t understand how she didn’t care.”

  Ana clasps her hands in front of her. “I know.”

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “Don’t thank me yet. We need to find out if I’m a match first.”

  I sniff and nod as she holds up the letter in her hand. “You need to read this.”

  “Okay?” I stand and take it from her.

  Please don’t be from Carmen. I can’t handle anything she has to say.

  Like she can read my mind, Ana says, “It’s okay, Mia. It’s not from her.”

  “Oh.” My stress level just dropped five notches. “Thanks.” The envelope is already open. Curious, I pull the letter out and I feel my eyes bug out as I read the contents.

  Ms. Santalina,

  You don’t know me, but I was with your daughter, Mia, the night she came to visit you. I don’t want to pry or get into business that’s not mine, but I do want you to have this. Use it for a plane ticket and hotel. It should take care of that and then some. I can’t do much for Mia and her sister, Maddy, but if money is the reason you can’t fly to California, you don’t have that excuse anymore. I hope you find it in your heart to do the right thing.

  —J.S.

  J.S. Jaxton Scott. I don’t believe this. My eyes are blurry and I fight to keep the tears back. After swallowing the lump in my throat, I try to hide my emotion.

  “How …” I start. “How much did he give you?”

  “Enough.” She folds her arms. “At first I didn’t want to take it. But there was no return address, no name, nothing. So I thought about it. And thought about it. But there was no other way to get here, so I had to use it. I don’t know who this friend of yours is, but whoever it is really cares for you.”

  Jax cares about me. He really cares. I don’t know what to say. Or do. I could text him, but … I erased his number from my phone. I’m such an idiot.

  “Did Carmen read this?”

  She nods. “I found it in the garbage. The money was on the table, just sitting there. I asked her about it and she told me to take it. So I did.” She pauses. “I’ve always known about you and Maddy, Mia. I had no idea you were so grown up. And when you came to see Carmen, I listened from the kitchen. I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have, but you’re my family! When I heard your baby sister needed a kidney, I was horrified and so embarrassed that Carmen refused. Maddy is her daughter. I’m ashamed and so sorry she didn’t help you. She’s changed, my sister. I love her, but she’s been through too much to come back.”

  She shakes her head as though shaking off a bad memory. “So … After you left and especially after I read that note, I tried to talk her into it. She wouldn’t hear me out. So I made a decision. I booked a flight here and tracked down your family. I remembered the general area where you guys lived, but didn’t know for sure, so I looked you up in the phonebook at the airport.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll be a match, but if I am I’d be honored to donate a kidney to save Madison’s life. It’s the least I can do to make up for the silence Carmen has granted you with all these years.”

  If I was crying before, now I’m sobbing. Tears stream down my cheeks. “You don’t have to do it just because of her.”

  “I’m not. You are family. Family is everything. And it’s the least I can do. What’s one less kidney anyway?” She smiles and takes my hand as I sit down next to her.

  “Thank you.”

  “No,” she says. “Thank you. You’re an amazing young woman to do something so selfless for your sister. Going to New York and trying to find your mother when you never even knew her. It makes me proud to be your aunt.” She smiles and wipes the tears trailing down her cheeks. “I just wish we could have gotten to know each other much earlier than this. Forgive me. I didn’t have the courage to find you.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “Partly. Carmen shut that part of her life out, and it in turn shut us out, as well. But I’m here now. And things are going to work out.”

  I don’t have anything to add to that, so I just sit there, my hand in hers, my other one holding Jax’s letter. I’m so overwhelmed with the amazing people in my life that I’m not sure to do with all this emotion.

  Ana, for being so brave. Brave to give a piece of herself to another person.

  Jax, for everything he did for me and everything he’s continued to do. I try to ignore the feeling of my heart breaking in two as I think of him. Under all the happiness and emotion I’m feeling right now, the sadness takes over.

  I miss him. I should text him. Thank him. Something.

  But I realize then that I don’t want to text him. I want to thank him in person. A text message seems so impersonal. No, doesn’t seem so—it is impersonal. When this is all over, I’ll find a way to see him again. To really, truly say thank you to his face.

  CHAPTER 30

  Don’t lose hope, I’m on your side.

  I’ll sail with you across the tide.

  The waves are rough, the storm is too,

  We can weather it together. Just me and you.

  —J.S.

  The next week flies by. The whole family is at the hospital with Maddy when the doctor brings us the news.

  I sit next to the bed, holding her hand. I swear my heart is going to beat out of my chest as he shuts the door and comes to stand at her feet.

  He looks so calm. So … not happy. Which makes my stomach drop. But then he breaks into an easy smile and reaches out to shake Ana’s hand. “You’re a match.”

  I jump out of my chair and pump my fist in the air. I should probably be a little quieter or cry or something, but this is not time for crying. It’s a time for celebrating. My sister is
getting a new kidney. She’s going to be okay.

  “Mia. Relax,” Dad says with a laugh.

  “I’m just so excited!” I jump into Dad’s outstretched arms and give him the biggest hug I can muster. I hug Mom next, and then my brother Zack. The last hug I save for Ana. She’s the one person I never thought I’d be hugging. And when she wraps her arms around me, it’s like a part of Carmen is in her. The (perhaps fictional) part of her that actually cares about me. And right now, that’s enough.

  Maddy lies in the hospital bed like she has for so many weeks. She’s awake, but exhausted, so all I get from her is a tiny smile.

  I’ll take it.

  “You’re going to be okay,” I say, taking her hands.

  Tears fill her eyes, but she doesn’t do anything but nod.

  The doctor talks to my parents for a second before turning to the rest of us. “We’re going to schedule the surgery in two days. Now that we have everything we need, we want to get things going before Maddy has any more complications.” He looks at Ana. “Is that okay?”

  She nods. “Yes.”

  “The recovery from the donor is usually worse than the recipient. Do you have people who can stay with you and help you recover for a while?”

  I put my arm around her. “We’ll be here with her the whole time.”

  He smiles and nods. “Perfect. I’ll get this scheduled and we’ll go from there. Congratulations, Maddy. You have an amazing family here.”

  She lifts her fragile hands and wipes tears from her eyes. “I know.”

  I still can’t believe this is happening. Maddy’s gonna be okay.

  She’s going to live.

  CHAPTER 31

  Fate. So much depends on that one little word.

  —J.S.

  The waiting room is nearly empty aside from Mom, Dad, and me. I scribble in my notebook, making lists of who knows what. Things to do after Maddy gets better, thank-you notes to write, friends to catch up with. I guess I could write him, but it would get lost in his millions of pounds of fan mail.

  “How long has it been?” I ask for the fifteenth time.

  Dad glances up from his phone. “Honey. It’s been about two hours. Just like the last time you asked.”