Opening the Door

by Amy Sanderlin

  Second Chance Book Blurb

  CHAPTER 1

  I can’t forgive what I’ll never forget! The motto of my life that has been plagiarizing me for the past twenty-four hours as I sit with no way out of this predicament. I ran for it, all the way until I could no longer find the reason to go on both physically and mentally.

  My pace just stopped and I turn back to survey the route that has brought me to an unfamiliar street early in the morning. With the streetlight switching off and the light bulb to keep me sane eliminated, I fight back the tears of hurt and shame.

  My phone rings, and I know who it is. The caller has tried ten times already. I let it ring some more before I take it out to see the name. It’s on private now; smart one that will never fool me. Then another number comes in as I walk and wipe my eyes from the waterworks.

  Yes, another number, same person. They’re really trying here, giving it all they can because it’s now too late. But then in comes the third number that has a part to play in this.

  The one who hurt me abandoned me, gave me hope when there was none. If I answer this call, I’ll be undoubtedly giving them a second chance. But I must think on this because it hurts even though we both are to blame in the long run.

  * * * *

  “How long has it been now?”

  When I rolled over to look at him in his nakedness that had resulted from our lovemaking the night before, I was tempted to climb on top of him. However, I resisted because this question sprouted prickly roots that could strangle me whole if I wasn’t careful. It was a tricky question, one that could string me up the wrong way.

  “Not long enough.” I tensed when he instantly rolled on top of me and pressed my body into the mattress, peering down into my eyes with a glitter and my vision in the iris. I rested my palms on his back and caressed him up-and-down Curtis’s spine. He kissed me gently until the chills grew into tickles that made me giggle and blush. He continued as we laughed together at his teases.

  The sexual tension was brewing again when the pecks all over me led to a heated arousal for both of us. Like an alarm clock going off, Curtis wanted me to ignite that final tick to summon himself inside me, but the question still needed some weight. “It’s been two years.”

  Curtis stopped with a dead stare. “Two years?”

  “Uh huh. Two years and no receipts.”

  “You mean no label on our relationship?”

  “Yes.”

  Curtis balanced himself as if he wanted to do press-ups upon me. “Well, don’t you think that should change, Maria?”

  We’d been over that question in the past. “It will take you to change. Not the status of our relationship, Curtis.”

  “I’ve changed. He now elevated that plank to make it easier for me to see the truth he thought he had upon his face. ” After two years, a new me has come to you.

  “I doubt that.” I crossed my arms off to him and tilted my head so that I wouldn’t have only him to stare at. “Old habits never die.”

  “Mine has…”

  “And how can that be proved when we never speak of the openness of your behavior?”

  “There’s only been you…”

  “Time and time again, that can’t be true.”

  Curtis got up now, out the bed, and paused on my folded arms that told him entry was no longer permitted to my breasts as had been the case a minute ago. There was still a lustfulness from the both of us, but a resolution needed to be reached there and then. “You keep pushing me away as if that’s going to make it easier for both of us. I’ve changed my ways, no more wanting to be free-spirited with no ties. I’m ready to commit to you.”

  “Commitment takes two. Not just one who thinks good sex that has lasted for two years could mean love.”

  “That’s not the only reason why I come back to you. Don’t make that an excuse.”

  But it was ninety-percent of what kept us super-glued. The other ten percent was the infatuation and the honeymoon period that just kept flooding our blood levels whenever we got intimate. Love, for both of us, was a card we played and never gambled because it was far from what either of us had experienced before.

  I had never been in love with my memory that stretched to past boyfriends that never had the flavor of Curtis seasoning. The excitement, interest, and yearning to keep coming … in more ways than one, was brand new to me and on the brink of obsession. But to call it love… when I watched him get clothed, open the blinds in his room, bring in the light, and then switch on the small television for both of us to relax to, I knew that a shift had occurred in our astrology pairing. We mirrored each other; he scratched his head, and then I copied involuntarily. His decrease in temperature was the same for me. It was as if we couldn’t help the conjoined mannerisms.

  I wanted him to smile, and so did he. We both ended up cuddling until it cheered us up and no problem was in the room. His small box room had more clothes on the floor than any woman I knew: jeans, tracksuits, jumpers, T-shirts, shoes, and socks. It was a scatter-house, and he claimed this was nothing compared to my wardrobe that wasn’t entirely sorted itself.

  Curtis had no sense of style or color patterning, so his room reflected a wallpaper with one-half red and the other a very bright orange. He liked horse racing, and that was depicted in the rest of his home. And he was once an amateur boxer, so putting up with his broken nose but rugged good looks wasn’t too hard.

  It was only recently that he had decided to give boxing another go and forgotten his job as a collection bookie, which laid on the side of collecting bets that gamblers couldn’t fork up in time.

  Curtis would soon give them a reason to. He was a type of debt collector whom many would look once at and second-guess that he could throw a couple of fierce punches. But he often proved them wrong and that’s what women liked: the element of surprise in him. He had the danger and polite face that spoke well, dressed and talked decently, and then came so swiftly at a liar that you’d think he had a split personality disorder.

  His fitness was another addition. I felt that all over, his physical assets boosted his ego. “Do that again.”

  “No. You’re enjoying too much.”

  “I know.” Then he went silent and turned to me as I was cradling him from behind. “Let us make it official. Look at us, we’re perfect right now, in harmony, on the same percussion that doesn’t stop beating.”

  “Curtis, you aren’t ready.”

  “No, you’re the one who isn’t ready. I get it though, you don’t want me as your boyfriend,” he accused.

  I let him go, “That’s a short straw to pull! Don’t put words in my mouth.”

  “Then what’s the delay?”

  “Love.”

  “Love?” he asked.

  “Yes, Curtis, love! Can we call this that?”

  His phone rang, an occurrence that I had grown used to. It would usually be another woman on the other line who claimed to be from the past, a friend, or someone just passing through contacts and oh, up popped Curtis who they still wanted to keep in contact with. He left the room and I got ready to leave his home. He tried to stop me by yanking at my arm down the stairs until we reached his front door with an irritating; “stop pulling my arm!” That came from me.

  “It’s not another woman,” he pleaded.

  “The name Tessa isn’t a man’s name, is it?” I could see he was trying to conceal it.

  “Nothing is going on though,” he defended.

  “So why lie?” I asked.

  “Because you react like this, leaving me in the lurch and not getting back to me until a week later. I can’t take it no more.”

  “I asked you about love and your phone rings. Fate, Curtis. Fate intervened.”

  “Quit with your fate!” He ended the call and held my chin. “I love you!” The eyes never lie, but his twitched with insincerity. Or, that was what I wanted to read as he tried to kiss my lips but ended up with my cheek as I twisted away from him. “This is becoming too much, Marie
. If you don’t trust me, then what’s the point of us continuing?”

  “I don’t know, but maybe some time apart will shift your pattern of calls before something serious is said.”

  “We don’t need time apart. You need to be my girlfriend.”

  If only it was that easy. But nothing ever is with me and Curtis. So, I left him with his call back from Tessa and walked out to my silver Fiat, opened it with my keys, sat in the driver’s seat, and then stared at Curtis’ home with no movement.

  I wanted to see, just how much he loved me because if I gave myself to him, it would take more than just words, and he knew what I meant.

  CHAPTER 2

  A week had gone by with no word from Curtis then. I was going for a jog with my good friend Tina who was planning to run for a charitable cause to raise money for an organization that wanted to help patients with leukemia.

  It was training for a five-mile run over difficult terrain that would test the legs to the maximum! I could only manage one mile before declaring myself unfit as we reached that slope that we nicknamed the beginning of hell! The reason was that it went up-and-up-and-up and when you thought it was over, it had a flattening and then started doing up-and-up-and-up again.

  “It usually takes him a week to screw his way back to me,” I said.

  “Are you sure?” Tina did some stretches of the legs, extending the right one until her foot shot upright and then pressed down on the thigh. She also gave the left leg the same treatment. “You say he has all these women but when I see Curtis, he seems to be into you. And I see him often because the bookie is not far from me.”

  “Yes. Why would women call him so many times?”

  “Maybe he’s just friendly with them? “Who” knows? He might not be sleeping around like you say, and you could be missing out.”

  “I don’t trust him.” Tina started to make a skipping rope motion and jumped on the spot, her arms circulating. I joined in, but I was past tired. “Never have. Never will.”

  “You need to try. I know other’s have let you down.”

  “It’s not just that. You know the real reason.”

  “Yeah,” the skipping without the rope stopped, “but you can’t pass that onto him. It’s not fair. Give him a chance.”

  “And what if we’re both wrong and he turns out to be doing what I suspect?”

  “Then it’s an experience. I don’t want to be soppy, but you know they say a heart is meant to be broke. It’s the way it must go. It helps with giving us direction whilst building character within ourselves.”

  “Jesus! That is sloppy.”

  She chuckled. “Go on. Admit it, you want to try. Is it like … your first serious boyfriend?”

  “I’m twenty-seven next month, and yes, it would be if I accepted his offer.”

  “God! Don’t be like me, full of regret for not acting sooner. Who knows when feelings will amend?”

  “Hmm. I’ll give him another week.”

  * * * *

  Three weeks, and no word. No phone calls. No persistence to have me come over for a quickie. There were no lights in his home each weekend that I knocked, knock-knock-knocked on his front door. Only a neighbor came out to tell me that Curtis hadn’t been home for a week now. He often went and came back whenever he pleased.

  My head did a somersault when a month passed, and my body clock wanted servicing from down below. The do-it-yourself method was mundane, and Curtis would be the perfect appliance to my blockage. But after work, Tina would come by with some cream cheese bagels and raspberry.

  “Here you go. On time. And just when your lunch is about to finish.”

  “Have you seen Curtis?”

  “No. Not a peep. I was going to bring him some bagels by the bookies, but the manager said he’s been away on holiday or something.”

  “On holiday. To where?” I enquired.

  “Didn’t pry. Curtis and I aren’t that close.” And the strangest thing … Tina acted in the most unusual way, “Why are you acting like you don’t believe me?”

  It was random. “Um. I’m not. I do believe you.”

  “Oh.” Tina’s eyes flickered and blinked as if a month had gotten stuck, so she started to pull at her eyelashes and then rubbed her eyes. “Sorry, just a long week and so many accusations.”

  “What accusations, Tina?”

  “Drama. And I haven’t the time to tell you it all. Later though.”

  “I can’t do later. I’m going to see if Curtis is home.”

  “He’s at a close friend’s,” she said, finally.

  Did I catch that right? “Tina …” But she had wandered off back into her car to drive back to work. A close friend? Did she just say he had gone to visit a close friend?

  I called her mobile and let it ring on the loudspeaker. Voicemail … voicemail … and the same occurrence until I gave up. I had reached Curtis’ home, and to my surprise, the lights were on. He had just walked inside when I parked up and saw that his new tan had done favors to his olive complexion. I would need the same for my own. I was becoming too light-skinned.

  One knock and Curtis came to answer the door. “Marie …” An awkwardness, and then he said, “come in. I was going to call you tomorrow.”

  “Really?” I stepped into his foyer, and he closed the door behind me.

  “Yeah. I just got back.”

  “No word. No call.” Emotions were beating my heart into mush-mush-mush! “Don’t you think I merit that? Coming from the guy who wanted me to be his girlfriend?”

  “Yeah, well, it’s because of your inability to say yes that I took a break. I needed to get away from you, Marie.”

  “And has it done you wonder?”

  “What do you think?”

  It had been over a month for me and that was why I leaped upon Curtis with a hunger and my tongue down his throat. He instantly groped my behind and squeezed me into his chest, my breasts becoming so flat that it started to hurt.

  The intensity meant we couldn’t make it to the bedroom, so we kissed and fondled, clothes disappearing like my blouse, then his shirt, then my bra, then his belt and trousers. Each time the kissing would set the bar for how aroused we were becoming.

  The sofa would have to do, but then we changed our minds when he laid me upon the carpet before spreading my legs wide and applying his tongue as I squirmed and tried to relax and forget that I was mad at his behavior.

  I let it go, my sex drive winning the trophy as the flicker on my clit engulfed me into running my fingers messily through my hair and holding it upwards because his cuna-ling-magic was whisking me to the far ends of my personal satisfaction.

  “Right there! More! More… more! Right there, Curtis! Right there!” His tongue worked me into a slithering serpent and it helped to stiffen the load down below him.

  His removal had me bouncing up when he got to his knees. I took it all into my mouth, and Curtis groaned me into playing the fiddle with my stimulated garden. It was growing larger, and Curtis became much harder that I removed it from my mouth to see that he was ready for me to lie back down.

  Anger… when he entered me, I was certain that I would make him feel inadequate with his skills. But after more than two minutes of pumping and manhandling my breast, I was digging into his flesh with nibbles and scratches on the side of his face, turned on and licking his cheek. I could be freaky when I wanted to be, and he was moaning and looking into my eyes as we sang the song of desire on a high note.

  The next note came from his grip on my buttocks as he hard-pressed into my wall that collapsed around his wood. It bulged and reached the destination that caught me corresponding to ever pump-pump-pump-pump-pump-pump-pump-pump-pump. When he stopped to catch his breath, I wiggled and made it impossible for him to take a break.

  “No breaks,” I commanded, “More!”

  And he gave me some more. I began to get sore, and he started to go soft. But my heart raced to the top of my lungs and I couldn’t take it … I gained control and he
knew that I wanted to get on top and dominate this fear in me.

  I rode his rodeo and he grabbed my waist and felt the rhythm that came to finish him off. Fast… faster… fastest! The wild child. The serenity, and then came to the flood of my shakes and his trembling as our faces mashed and altered into ugly, the ugly that comes when you know it might be your turn to come.

  But then it goes… returns… and as I rested my palm on his chest and slant back, I saw how much he wanted to pummel me from the bottom and send skyrockets into my hole to burst me into loud screams. But I didn’t let him. And he thanked me for it because all that dominance was killing him. Me in control of my feelings, and him holding onto his first place.

  “Let me make you cum.” I offered.

  “No.” And the vibe died. I got off. And he tried to drag me back on top.

  “Way to kill it, Curtis.”

  “Come back,” he was almost begging.

  “I gently tapped his hand away.” We were sweaty. “Not until you tell me why you said no.”

  “I should be the one to make you cum,” was all he could muster.

  I sighed and went to gather my clothes so I could leave.

  “Marie, we need to talk.”

  “We do, but not on your timing. How about you ask me how many times I have come chasing after you when you disappear?”

  “I'd say only three times, and each with a reason.”

  “Where were you this time? On the moon?”

  “Not funny.” He laid on the carpet with an ill-ease. “I went to see a friend’s mother.”

  “A friend’s mother. So, Tina was right? And … why would Tina know?”

  A stiff silence came from Curtis who got up and took my hand. “Be my girlfriend? Let’s make this official?”

  And without knowing why---well, apart from the fact it was exciting to hear him ask me again, And that there was a deep-rooted honesty that made me feel like I’d never heard it before, the words “OK.” Escaped my mouth. To ignore it would’ve broken me into pieces that I wasn’t prepared to mend again. And that was the official marking for me and Curtis.