by Becky Durfee
“What did he say to that?” Zack asked.
“Nothing, really. He just kind of shrugged.”
“I had said something similar to him,” Jenny noted. “And he hung up on me.”
“Don’t feel bad about that,” Derrick said. “He and I have a history that you don’t have. We were inseparable for years, back when life was a lot simpler. In fact, right after that comment I was able to remind him of a time when I was about nine or ten and I thought I saw my neighbor’s cat. I went running after it—for no good reason, really—only to find out the hard way that it was actually a skunk that I’d been chasing. Oh, Brian laughed and laughed when I got sprayed. He didn’t let me live it down for a long time.” Derrick let out a chuckle. “I told him I’d been reminded of that just the other day when my dog came home smelling like skunk. He’d gotten loose, and I guess he chose the wrong playmate. Anyway, it had gotten me to thinking about Brian, wondering how he was doing.” Derrick’s tone turned solemn. “I had no idea he was doing so badly.”
Jenny pictured two thick-as-thieves grade-school friends, running around without a care in the world, completely unaware of how horribly the future would unfold for one of them. Once again she wondered if the hormones were making this seem sadder than it really was, or if it was just that sad.
Either way, she wanted to cry.
“So you talked about old times?” Jenny posed, distracting herself.
“Mostly,” Derrick confirmed. “I even managed to get him to smile a couple of times. That’s why I didn’t want to bring up the topic of homosexuality. Things were going well; the last thing I wanted to do was turn him off.”
“Smart thinking,” Zack noted.
“I’m hoping this visit will get his wheels turning,” Derrick went on. “Sadly, he has a lot of time to think. Anyway, if there are visiting hours tomorrow I’d like to go back. Maybe then I can tell him about my living arrangement—that I’m happily involved with a man and enjoying life. I’m hoping that will be a good approach. That way I won’t be accusing him of being gay; I’ll just be telling him that I am.”
“You are a very smart man,” Jenny said, pointing at Derrick with a grin. “If your hair-cutting ability is even half as good as your people skills, I should end up looking fabulous.”
Still operating on west-coast time, Derrick brought up his need to have some lunch—a notion that was just fine with both Zack and Jenny; their salads hadn’t been all that rewarding. After they placed their orders at a restaurant, Jenny posed to Derrick, “Are there any friends you plan to see while you’re in town?”
“Well, nobody knows I’m here yet,” he confessed. “I didn’t even know I’d be here until yesterday. I think I might just do an all-call later—you know, make an announcement that I’ll be at such-n-such a place at seven o’clock, and anyone who wants to join me can just show up.”
“That’s as good a plan as any,” Zack said.
Jenny paused for a moment and then looked at Derrick with sympathetic eyes. “Was it hard seeing Brian after all these years?”
“It wasn’t hard seeing Brian,” Derrick replied. “It was just hard to see him like that. I think if we had bumped into each other on the street it would have been fine. I mean, yes, he did blow me off once upon a time, but how can you hold someone accountable for things they did in high school? A little bit of angst and drama couldn’t undo the bond we did once share as children.”
A slight smile appeared on Jenny’s face as she was nearly overcome with sentimentality. “How did you and Brian meet?”
“School,” Derrick replied. “We were in the same first grade class. We hit it off right away. I think even back then we knew we were a little different from most kids. A lot of the boys were really physical and destructive, and Brian and I were a little more on the quiet side. We preferred to play house at recess instead of wildly running around like all the other boys did.” He let out another chuckle. “The girls were delighted that we played house; they had someone to play the father and the son.”
Jenny had to smile. Even small girls liked gay guys.
“But as we got older we began to get in touch with our feelings a little bit more. We each noticed that we weren’t really attracted to girls, and we had what some would call inappropriate feelings toward boys. That’s a scary thing to deal with when you’re an adolescent. Society dictates that you’re supposed to feel a particular way, and when you find that you simply don’t agree with it, you feel like a freak—and that’s frightening in middle school. The last thing you want to be is different at that age. The different kids get teased—relentlessly.” He shook his head. “Your first inclination is to pretend that you’re not having those feelings. Maybe if you ignore them long enough they’ll go away, you know?” He got quiet for a moment before adding, “they didn’t go away. For either of us. And at some point we realized we needed to address it.”
Jenny had never fully considered the plight of a gay person before. She’d always just accepted that some people were homosexual, but she hadn’t given any thought into what had to transpire before a person reached the point of being able to admit it. She never realized how difficult it could have been.
Derrick continued with a distant stare. “I remember the night we spoke about it for the first time. We were having a sleepover at my house. I was in my bed, and Brian was in a sleeping bag on the floor. I decided to take a chance and ask him if he’d ever thought about what it would be like to kiss a boy. It felt like it took him forever to answer, but when he did, he said all the time. I assured him it was the same for me, and we spent the whole night talking about it. How unnatural it seemed. How afraid we’d been to admit it. How horrified we were that somebody might find out.” Derrick glanced back and forth between Zack and Jenny. “It turned out that Brian had a very good reason to be afraid.”
Aaron. At that point Jenny desperately wished she had the power to go back in time and undo someone else’s actions. She felt helpless knowing that she couldn’t.
“Well,” Jenny began, “I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but Brian’s mother knew you two were involved before that ugly incident with Brian’s father.”
Derrick didn’t say anything.
Jenny cleared her throat somewhat uncomfortably before she continued. “She had seen you one day. She’d gotten back from the grocery store and you two were making a lot of noise playing video games. You must not have heard her come in. She peeked around the corner into Brian’s bedroom; she was intending to invite you to stay for dinner, but she saw you two kissing instead.”
Derrick’s eyes were like saucers. “I had no idea she knew.”
With a reassuring smile, Jenny added, “From what I could tell, she knew before that—not that you two were involved, but that Brian was gay. She’d suspected it for a long time, so she wasn’t all that surprised by it.” Jenny softened her tone. “And I also got the distinct impression that she approved of you as a boyfriend. She liked you, Derrick, and the thought of you and Brian being happy together made her happy.”
Derrick rested his chin on his hand. “Mrs. Morris,” he whispered. “She was always such a nice lady.”
“I think the feeling was mutual,” Jenny replied.
“Not to change the subject or anything,” Zack interjected, turning to Derrick, “but I’m curious. Did Aaron show signs of abusing Brian before he found out Brian was gay, or was it only afterward?”
“I didn’t see them afterward,” Derrick reminded him. “But I think the abuse coincided more with the drinking than the homosexuality.”
“Drinking?” Jenny asked.
“Yup,” Derrick confirmed. “It hadn’t always been that way. When we were little, his father was much more…” He searched for the right word. “Tolerable. Slowly but surely he stared drinking a bunch, and as he did he got progressively angrier. I mean, he’d always thrown around racial slurs, but the physical stuff didn’t come until later.”
“What kinds of things did you s
ee?” Zack asked.
“Actually, I think I know,” Jenny interrupted. “A lot of choking.”
Derrick looked at her with surprise. “Yes, grabbing Brian by his neck was Mr. Morris’s primary means of getting his point across.” Derrick shook his head. “I’d always thought to myself that one day Brian would be too big for his father to get away with that. I kind of hoped that Brian would be able to surprise him one day and grab him by the neck and slam him against the wall. It would only serve him right.” Derrick lowered his eyes. “I never thought Brian would actually kill him.”
At that moment their food arrived, temporarily diverting the conversation.
As Derrick unrolled his silverware and placed his napkin on his lap he posed, “So how did Brian do it?”
“It was a stabbing,” Jenny confessed solemnly. “It happened at Aaron’s house, and Brian didn’t live there anymore, so we know it was during a visit. Unfortunately Brian is being very tight-lipped about what went on just prior to the stabbing, but my father did a reading at that house and felt a lot of anger.”
“Your father did a reading?” Derrick asked.
Jenny had forgotten that he didn’t know. “My dad’s a psychic too, just in a different way. He channels emotions, and he knows Patricia was very angry about something that happened at that house. One can only assume it was the same event that made Brian angry enough to kill his father.”
“Only Brian won’t admit that his father had angered him, or that there had even been a fight,” Zack explained. “We think he’s afraid that someone is going to ask what the fight was about. Assuming the fight was about Brian’s homosexuality, it’s something Brian doesn’t want to admit.”
“That seems a little extreme to me,” Derrick said. “He’d rather spend the rest of his life in jail than admit he’s gay?”
“Brian’s grandmother said she thinks he’s depressed—has been for years.” She looked at both men. “That’s probably true, and it may explain why he feels that way.”
Derrick’s face lit up. “You’ve talked to Brian’s grandmother? Do you mean Darlene?”
“Yes, I’ve spoken to her.”
“Nana Darlene,” Derrick said with a reflective smile. “I loved that woman.”
“Well, the next time I talk to her I can tell her you say hi,” Jenny said.
“That would be great.” Derrick took a bite of his dinner. “You know she’d be supportive if Brian told her he was gay. She had no problem at all when Aunt Kathy came out.”
Past conversations flooded Jenny’s mind. Kathy and Chris. “You mean Chris is a woman?”
“Uh-huh.” Derrick took a drink before he continued. “I guess Brian and I were in about third grade when Aunt Kathy announced she’d met someone, but this someone was a female. Nana Darlene made it very clear that if you had a problem with it, you could just keep those opinions to yourself. She welcomed Chris into the family with open arms.” He thought a little bit before adding, “She was a nice woman, that Chris. She treated Aunt Kathy really well.”
Jenny loved the way Derrick referred to Brian’s relatives as if they were his own family. He and Brian must have been more like brothers than friends.
It also occurred to Jenny, though, that Aaron must have viewed Kathy’s relationship as evidence that Brian’s homosexuality was Patricia’s ‘fault.’ It ran in her family, not his, and Patricia paid a hefty price for that.
With a swift shake of her head, Jenny switched gears. “So how old were you when Aaron became violent?”
Derrick strummed his fingers on the table as he thought. “It’s hard to pinpoint a beginning. Probably the second half of elementary school? It was gradual…it went from insults, to fingers in the face, to little shoves on the shoulder, to slaps, to choking. At what point do you say it’s officially violent?” He took a bite of food. “But the one thing I will say was that he had always been a bigot and was very vocal about it. It almost seemed like he bordered on supremacy.”
“Had he ever said anything bad about Kathy?” Zack asked.
“Well, I do remember that once she came out of the closet she stopped being Kathy and became simply the dyke. He didn’t associate with her after that, either. He just bad-mouthed her from afar.”
Jenny shook her head. “So would you be willing to testify to all of this in Brian’s trial?”
“I would,” Derrick said. “But once again the difficulty is having to be here instead of being in Seattle.”
“I understand,” Jenny said. “But I assure you, I’ll help you with that in any way I can.”
Derrick smiled. “Then you have yourself a witness.”
“I really appreciate you doing this,” Jenny said as Derrick combed her wet hair.
“It’s no problem,” he replied. “It’s the least I can do considering you bought my plane ticket and paid for my hotel. So,” he continued, “how would you like me to cut it?”
“I still want it long,” Jenny replied. “Keep in mind what I do for a living. I sometimes get called out of bed to go somewhere in the middle of the night, so I need to be able to just throw it up in one of these thingies.” She referred to the hair elastic she perpetually kept around her wrist. “But I’m thinking layers…something to give it a little more volume.”
“I think I can do that,” he replied as he continued to comb. “I must say, you have beautiful hair. You’re not shedding a strand. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you were pregnant.”
Jenny made a face. “Pregnant people don’t shed?”
“Nope,” Derrick said. “It’s strange, but true.” He parted her hair down the middle.
“Well, I actually am pregnant.”
Derrick gasped and peeked around to see Jenny’s face. “For real?”
Jenny nodded with a proud smile.
“Well, first let me congratulate you. But second, let me provide you with a warning.”
Despite Derrick’s foreboding words, Jenny didn’t feel fear due to the jovial tone in his voice.
“All of this hair you’re not losing for the next nine months? Well, it all falls out after you have the baby.” He held two fistfuls of her hair in front of her face so she could see. “In clumps. You’ll wonder what’s wrong with you. But let me assure you, the answer is nothing. It’s perfectly natural, so don’t be scared when time comes.”
Jenny squinted as she contemplated all of the strange things that were happening to her body. She knew her belly would get big and she anticipated food cravings, but all of this other stuff just seemed downright weird. She wondered if her ability to smell cinnamon buns from a mile away was another side effect of pregnancy; she could only assume that it was.
For the next twenty minutes Derrick worked on Jenny’s hair. At the end, Jenny looked in the mirror, impressed with what she saw. “Wow, Derrick, you really do a great job.”
“Thanks,” he said with a smile. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Like it? I love it. In fact, I just may have to hop a plane to Seattle every few weeks for a trim.”
Isabelle walked into the kitchen as Jenny swept up her hair from the floor. “Wow, sweetie, you look great.”
Jenny smiled genuinely. “Thanks, ma. Are you all packed?”
“Just about. I’ll be heading out of here in a few minutes, I guess.”
Taking a pause in her sweeping, Jenny replied, “Are you sure you’re ready to head home? You’re welcome to stay a little longer.”
Isabelle sighed. “I have to go back to that house eventually. I can’t stay here forever. But thank you for the offer.”
“Well, ma, if ever it gets to be too much in that house, you can always come back and visit.”
Isabelle looked lovingly at Jenny. “Thank you, sweetheart. I appreciate that.”
Several moments later, Rod, Zack and Derrick all joined in the goodbyes as Isabelle left. Soon after, Jenny dropped Derrick off at the restaurant where he told his friends he would be at seven o’clock, and he assured Jenny that one o
f his friends would surely be able to provide him with a ride to the hotel at the end of the night. With the promise of a phone call in the morning, Jenny and Derrick said goodbye for the evening.
Once she arrived back at the house, Jenny called Zack and Rod into her living room. Zack sat on the couch; Rod chose the recliner. “Okay, guys, are you ready?” she posed as she sat next to Zack on the sofa, glancing at the men with a twinkle in her eye. “Time to formulate a plan.”
Chapter 1 4
“A plan?” Zack asked.
“Yes,” Jenny replied matter-of-factly, “a plan. Now that my mom isn’t here to freak out about it, I want to figure out a way to get into Slim’s house so we can get our hands on that journal.”
“Do you think bribery would work?” Zack posed. “What if we offered him a little bit of cash to let us go inside?”
“That might work,” Jenny replied with an evil glance in Rod’s direction, “but I was actually thinking something else.”
Rod put his face in his hands. “I know where this is going.”
Jenny smiled. “Yes, I think you do…Goldilocks.”
Suddenly Jenny’s idea dawned on Zack. “You want to break in?”
“You make it sound so…criminal,” she said. “I’d rather think of it as taking an uninvited look around.”
“Wow,” Zack said. “This is definitely not a plan I would expect to come from you.”
“You were there,” Jenny countered. “I don’t think we’re going to get into that house any other way, and I can’t help but think that journal is the best shot at freeing Brian.”
“But what about Slim’s dog?” Zack posed. “You know, the one he said he would sic on us? That probably has really big teeth?”
“There is no dog,” Jenny replied confidently. “It was a bluff.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“When I went there with my mother I rang the doorbell—a few times, actually—and there was no barking. I don’t know of any dogs that don’t bark when the doorbell rings…especially if the dog is trained to be a guard dog.”