by Becky Durfee
Zack remained silent as he contemplated the thought.
“The question is,” Jenny continued, turning to Rod, “do you think you can do it? Can you get us into that house?”
“I don’t know,” Rod said with a shake of his head. “First of all, it’s been decades. I’m not sure I remember exactly how I used to do it. But also…I was a kid back then—a young hippie with nothing to lose. Now I’ve got a job and a wife; I can’t afford to get arrested.”
“I understand,” Jenny said, her disappointment reflecting in her voice.
Rod sighed with frustration. “I’m not saying no, I just need to think about it for a little while.”
A small amount of optimism surfaced within Jenny. “Thanks, Rod.”
“How about this?” Zack began. “We start by ringing his doorbell and offering him money to let us in. If he says no to that, then we consider plan B.”
“You have to figure that there’s a reason he doesn’t want us in his house,” Rod announced. “Most people with nothing to hide wouldn’t be quite so adamant about keeping people out. We do need to consider our safety.”
Jenny, with her infinite naiveté, hadn’t contemplated that; she’d just figured Slim was being difficult. Her spirits sank.
“Let’s sleep on it,” Rod posed. “In the morning we can head out there and try Zack’s bribery plan. It would be best if we were invited in legally. If that fails, then we can figure it out from there.”
With a reluctant nod, Jenny agreed. “Okay, that sounds like a plan. Well, I hate to cut this party short, but I’m going to turn in…again. It seems like all I do is sleep lately.”
Zack bid Jenny goodnight as she got up from her seat, approaching him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. He held her hand as she tried to walk away, pulling her back over before adding, “By the way…you look great.”
Jenny smiled at him lovingly and headed to bed.
Her head spun. Why did this keep happening? It didn’t used to be this way. What had changed? What had brought about all of this violence?
If she could figure that out, maybe she could prevent it from happening. She needed to stop it; the abuse stood to ruin Brian. He was a good kid; he shouldn’t have had to live in fear. No child should.
Maybe she just needed to leave the marriage. She could pack up a few things and go, taking Brian with her, of course. But where would she go? She didn’t have any money; Aaron had spent it all on alcohol. She could always stay with family, maybe Kathy and Chris…but that would be the first place Aaron would look for her. Considering how angry he got over trivial matters, she couldn’t imagine the rage she would encounter if she actually left him. He might kill her. And Kathy and Chris. And Brian. No, she couldn’t jeopardize her family like that. She’d just need to figure out what Aaron wanted from her…what she could do to get him to stop beating her. Maybe then life would be peaceful again.
She looked at the half-filled page in her journal. The entries always ended the same. The triggers were different, the insults were different, the depth of Aaron’s rage was different, and the bruises were in different spots, but the conclusion was always the same…And she needed to put a stop to it for Brian’s sake.
But how?
She closed the journal and glanced toward the closed curtains that ensured her privacy. Silently climbing out of bed and tip toeing to the familiar spot just underneath the window, she pulled back the throw rug and raised the loose floor board, placing her journal safely in its place. She allowed the rug to fall back down, covering her secret, and climbed back into bed.
Jenny rolled over and opened her eyes. She turned on her light and grabbed her own journal. “The master bedroom,” she scribbled in sloppy handwriting. “By the window. Underneath the floor.”
Deciding on the plastic cup due to her recent bout of clumsiness, Jenny poured herself some juice before heading downstairs. She let herself through the door, finding her way to Zack’s bedroom. Placing the cup on the end table, she slid under the covers with Zack.
“Hey,” he said groggily. “You may want to be careful. My girlfriend’s right upstairs and she’s not afraid to break the law.”
“Shut up,” Jenny said with a giggle.
Zack flipped over and pulled Jenny in close. “So what brings you down here? Not that I’m complaining…”
“A few things. First of all, I know where the journal is. Patricia let me know in a vision last night.”
“Oh yeah? Where is it?”
“Under the floorboard in the master bedroom of Slim’s house…right in front of a window.”
“Well, that’s cool,” Zack said in an impressed tone. “Now all we have to do is get into his house and we’ll be golden.”
“Yeah,” Jenny said sarcastically.“That’s all.” Snuggling in a little closer she added, “And the other reason I came down here..I have to admit I’ve missed you. I figured we could sneak in a little alone time since Rod is still on west coast time and doesn’t usually get up before eleven.”
“I like the way you think,” Zack with a grin.
Jenny smiled and rolled over on top of him, greeting him with a kiss.
“I hope five-hundred is enough,” Jenny said to Rod and Zack as the car approached Slim’s neighborhood.
Rod looked out the window at the modest houses that surrounded him. “I would think so,” he said. “It looks like five hundred dollars would be a lot of money to someone around here.”
With a nod Jenny continued to drive. “His car is here,” she noted as they headed down Slim’s street. “It looks like we’re in luck.”
She parked in the first available spot, a few houses down from Slim’s. She turned to the men in her car and said, “You ready?”
The all exited the vehicle with purpose. Feeling the morning chill in the air, Jenny pulled her jacket tighter around her as they made the short journey to his house.
“I think you should do the talking,” Rod said to Jenny. “Somehow I think a woman would come off as less threatening than a man.”
“But we’ll be there,” Zack said reassuringly. “In case he starts anything.”
As they approached the house, Jenny could picture young Derrick running out of that very same front door. She saw the horrified look on his face as he fled, knowing his fear was justified. Mindfully pushing the sadness out of her bones, she led Zack and Rod up the stairs she had climbed so many times in her mind.
Jenny anxiously pressed the doorbell and listened for commotion inside. After a very long wait the front door opened with Slim looking far more alarming than he had the other two visits. He wore sunglasses despite the dim lighting, and he was sweating profusely even though the temperature was cool. Standing in the doorway he shifted his weight quickly from one leg to another. Looking intently in Jenny’s direction, he asked, “What do you want?”
Jenny resumed the professional tone she’d used with him in the past. “Well, I was wondering…”
Suddenly Rod grabbed her arm and pulled her backward, stepping in between Jenny and Slim. “Never mind,” Rod said. “I’m sorry we bothered you.” He turned to Zack and Jenny. “Come on, you guys. Let’s get out of here.” He headed quickly off the porch with Zack and Jenny following suit.
Once they reached the safety of the car, Jenny asked, “What was that about?”
“He was high,” Rod explained. “High as a kite, in fact. And not in a good way.”
“Not in a good way?” Jenny asked as she turned the key. “What does that mean?”
“He wasn’t on something that would mellow out his mood, let me just put it that way. It was definitely a stimulant, which could make him dangerous.”
Beginning the increasingly familiar route home, Jenny looked at Rod out of the corner of her eye. “How do you know so much about this?”
“I was a hippie, remember?” he replied matter-of-factly. “I can recognize a high man when I see one.”
“So you think we would have been in danger if we went into h
is house?” Zack posed from the back seat.
“It’s definitely a possibility,” Rod replied. “The thing with some of those drugs is that your mood can change like that.” He snapped his fingers. “Even if he had seemed cordial and inviting at the door, which he didn’t, that wouldn’t have meant he’d be accommodating the entire time we were there. Drugs like that can invoke some serious mood swings—not to mention paranoia—and without any provocation he may have become angry. Or violent.” Rod shook his head. “I don’t think it would have been a good idea for us to go in there.”
Jenny’s shoulders sank. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.”
“I know you are, sweetie,” Rod replied, patting her shoulder. “And I know you don’t want to hear this either, but as both your father and someone who is familiar with drug use, I really don’t want you to have any more contact with him—in any capacity. Now that I’ve seen him, I am positive he’s unpredictable, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Nearly overcome with defeat, Jenny softly said, “So does that mean we don’t get the journal?”
“Now, I didn’t say that.” Rod said as he looked over his shoulder at Zack in the back seat. “The way I see it, it just means we go with plan B.”
“I’ve decided what I’m going to say to Brian,” Derrick told Zack and Jenny as they headed toward the prison. “I’ve thought about it all morning.”
“Care to share?” Jenny asked.
“Well, I think I told you before that he and I used to have some discussions about the feelings we had. During one of those talks in particular, Brian and I discussed what it would be like if the world could just be accepting. What if your sexual orientation truly didn’t matter? And by that I mean truly didn’t matter. No prejudice, no stereotypes, no extra-long stares from people trying to determine if they’re really seeing two people of the same gender holding hands. What if the world had none of that? What if there was just acceptance?
“Well, I want to tell him I’ve found that, to a large degree,” Derrick continued. “I mean, it took a while, don’t get me wrong. But once I came out I was able to filter out the people who would be intolerant of my lifestyle, and I simply stopped associating with them. Instead I have surrounded myself with people who like me for who I am and aren’t threatened by my sexuality. I have plenty of friends: male, female, gay, straight, black, white…it doesn’t matter to me. I associate with people I like, no matter what package they come in.”
Jenny couldn’t help but to think back to the very first contact she’d received from a man Steve O’dell, who shared similar dreams of equality. Considering Steve had been alive in the 1950s, his concern had more to do with race than sexual preference, but the ideas were the same. A smile crept onto Jenny’s lips as she recognized that Steve’s spirit did, in fact, live on.
Derrick continued. “I guess what I want to tell him is that as adults we have the ability to surround ourselves with the people we want in our lives. Unfortunately we can’t pick our families, but we can choose whether we associate with them or not. We can’t always choose our neighbors, but we can decide if we let their prejudices bother us. We can’t change who we’re attracted to, but we can choose not to be ashamed of it.” Derrick paused for a moment before adding, “It really is all about choice. I only hope I can get him to understand that.”
Despite Jenny’s deep admiration of the message, she found herself saying, “Unfortunately you’ve got a lot of years of Aaron’s propaganda working against you. Brian grew up surrounded by messages of hate and intolerance.” She glanced at Derrick out of the corner of her eye. “I hope you’ll be able to get through to him.”
“Yeah,” Derrick replied with a discouraged exhale. He looked out the window as he added, “I hope so, too.”
Jenny found it to be much more difficult to be in the lobby of the prison than the visiting area; while the visiting area was more intimidating, at least she knew what was going on. She felt nervous and helpless as she waited for Derrick to walk through the double doors with information.
After what seemed like an eternity he emerged, and the semi-positive look on his face offered Jenny some optimism. “So,” she asked almost immediately. “How did it go?”
Derrick pointed toward the exit doors. “Outside,” he said. “I can’t stand this place.”
Jenny couldn’t have agreed more. She looked around the prison with just her eyes, hoping she wouldn’t end up calling a similar place home after being busted for breaking and entering into Slim’s house.
Shooing that thought out of her head, she followed Derrick out the door. He sucked in a deep breath of fresh air before saying, “He did open up to me a little this time.”
Jenny’s heart fluttered with anticipation. “What did he say?” They headed toward the car.
“Well, at first I started by telling him what I was up to, that I have a good job as a hairdresser in an upscale Seattle salon, and I’ve been living with my partner Andre for about four months now. That’s when Brian came out of his shell a little bit and told me that he was happy for me. He seemed genuine.”
The thought of Brian temporarily losing that chip from his shoulder was of great comfort to Jenny.
“I mentioned to him what I told you, about the choices,” Derrick continued. He let out a little laugh. “I actually called being gay asshole repellent. Intolerant people don’t want to hang out with me, so it saves me the trouble of having to alienate them. I pointed out that Brian’s father stopped associating with Aunt Kathy after she announced she was a lesbian. I think that was supposed to be a punishment of some kind, but the way I see it, he actually was doing her a giant favor.”
Jenny became excited when she heard they’d discussed Brian’s father, but she silently allowed Derrick to continue.
“I mentioned that coming out would be a lot harder with someone like his father around. I had it easy…my parents were very supportive, tolerant people.”
“And what did he say to that?” Jenny was dying to know.
“Nothing, really, so I fished a little more. I asked him point blank if he ever came out, and he said there was no need. He told me he wasn’t gay and he never had been.”
Jenny cursed under her breath as they entered the car, which the bright afternoon sun had warmed quite nicely. The sudden change in temperature made her shiver.
“Was he angry when he denied it?” Zack posed.
Derrick shook his head. “Nope. Just matter-of-fact. For all I know our little fling that summer was his only homosexual encounter. He may have strictly dated girls after that, although after all of those conversations we had back then, I don’t think he would have been true to himself if he did.” He clicked his seatbelt into place. “I’ve always said a gay man with a girlfriend is still a gay man.”
“Okay, well, let me ask you this,” Jenny began. “Suppose you were Brian’s only homosexual encounter, and after that he became exclusively involved with girls.” She waved her hand back and forth as she spoke. “Whether he truly enjoyed the company of women is of no consequence here. But if he gave the impression of being one-hundred percent straight, wouldn’t Aaron have been happy with that? Would they really have had a deadly fight about something that had only happened once, many years earlier?”
“I actually brought that up. I asked him what went on that day. He said he’d gone to his father’s place to see if Mr. Morris could co-sign a loan so Brian could go to school. Apparently his father got very angry about that and went at him. They were in the kitchen when it all went down, and Brian was standing near the knife block. He said he just reached over and grabbed a knife, stabbing Mr. Morris as he approached.”
“Has he told the lawyer this?” Zack asked.
“I don’t know,” Derrick replied. “I would assume so.”
“Well, we should find that out,” Zack surmised.
Jenny sighed. “The problem is that the lawyer legally can’t disclose anything that they’ve talked about, so
even if we ask him, he won’t tell us.”
“Well, I think it’s worth a phone call,” Zack said. “You should mention it, just in case the lawyer doesn’t know.”
“I can do that,” Jenny said in a distant tone, her mind elsewhere, “but here’s the thing I don’t get. Why would Patricia make a point of letting me know—more than once—that Brian was gay if the fight that resulted in Aaron’s death was about money?”
The car was silent. Nobody knew the answer.
Chapter 15
By the time Zack and Jenny got home from dropping off Derrick at the airport, Rod was already back from his shopping trip. “Did you get what you needed?” Jenny posed.
Rod nodded slowly. “I bought everything with cash, and I went to several different stores.” His eyes met Jenny’s. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
She smiled widely, trying to appease him. “I know. And I really do appreciate it. Just remember, it’s for a good cause.”
Rod didn’t look convinced. “I bought latex gloves for all of us. I don’t want a single fingerprint anywhere in that house, got it?”
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Zack replied.
“And when we go tonight,” Rod continued, “I want to drive separately from you. Maybe I can take Zack’s car. But if I get caught trying to get into that house, I want you two to drive away as fast as possible. Don’t look back, either, you understand me? I don’t want to get caught, but I’ll accept the consequences if I do. But I definitely don’t want you two to go down with me. Understand?”
Jenny felt lucky to have such a kind man step into her life. “I understand,” she said softly.
“I’ve thought about this, and I think I’m going to try the front door first,” Rod added. “Those houses are awfully close together. Even though my preferred method of entry was always a window, I doubt I’ll be able to get away with that in such a densely populated neighborhood.”