Under His Touch

by Jeffe Kennedy

  When he released her mouth, she sagged in the restraints, rocking with the aftershocks, unable to muster the energy to wonder what he planned next as he unscrewed the phallus and unhooked her ankle cuffs from the wall, slipping off her heels as he did. Lifting her knee, he pressed it high and back, securing it with a broad black band he extracted from a hidden slot. Then did the same with a tight strap around her waist and also under her arms.

  Holding her chin, he made her look at him. “Are you in there?”

  “Right here.” She parted her lips, hoping for a kiss, but he stroked her throat, adding to the shudders racking her.

  “Pay attention. How does that feel? Too much pressure on your wrists, anywhere?”

  She felt as if nothing of her body existed except the parts that throbbed for his touch. Probably not an answer that would satisfy him. “So far, so good.”

  “And this?” He raised her other knee slowly, her weight settling into the three straps holding her to the wall. It constricted her chest and increased the sensation of helplessness. He pressed the knee back, splaying her open, but watching her face. “Does this hurt?”

  “I’m flexible,” she panted out.

  He smiled, a flash of feral enjoyment. “Oh, darling, I’ve noticed.”

  Once he had her fixed in place, he moved quickly, shedding the pants and putting on a condom. Bracing himself again, he poised the head of his cock at her defenseless entrance and stared her down, face rigid with barely controlled passion. Not icy now, but raging.

  “Only when I say you can, yes?”

  “Yes.” She sighed out the agreement, willing to promise anything, then sucked the air back in when he thrust hard into her, slamming his hips against hers, penetrating impossibly deep. Though she’d just come, the near-brutal shock threw her close to climax, like a spark set to a rocket. She clenched her teeth against the keening sound coming deep out of her.

  Alec pulled back, kissing her with all the gentleness lacking a moment ago, coaxing her through it. As she recovered, softly, sweetly he moved in and out of her channel, stroking in long glides, lulling her, so she rode up on steadily increasing levels of arousal. Each time he seemed to ease deeper into her and she had no ability to resist, only to yield more.

  Without warning, he slammed hard into her again.

  She screamed and she thought she heard him laugh, low and wicked.

  Managing to struggle back the orgasm, she found his mouth near her ear, his head bent and breathing hoarse as his hips pinned her against the wall. Raising his gaze to hers, he gave her a taunting smile. “More?”

  Could she stand more? “Yes, please?” she answered, before she knew she would.

  Holding her eyes, he slid back, working his cock in that gentle rhythm again, seductive, almost hypnotic. After a few strokes, she stopped bracing for the assault—as if she could in her helplessly open state—her body sinking into the building tension, rising to and following his lead.

  “‘Deliver my soul from the sword,’” he almost chanted, eyes dark with passion, his face contorted by the effort, panting the words in time with his meticulously controlled thrusts and the thrumming music. “‘My darling from the power of the dog.’”

  The tension built to unbearable levels and she returned his kisses with a ferocity of her own, begging him without words for that deliverance.

  “This time, together,” he ground out, and she clenched her fingers into fists, preparing for the moment when he’d break her apart. He watched her carefully, never altering the rhythmic, slow thrusting.

  She never saw it coming. He slammed into her, throwing his head back in a shout that the damned might utter, and she fell into the flames after him, her body immolated and emptied.

  * * *

  Coming back to herself, she found he’d already unstrapped her legs from the wall, his sweat-slicked body holding her up as he reached to free her wrists. Overcome, she pressed a kiss to the hollow between his pecs and shoulder, holding her mouth against his skin.

  “She lives,” he said, but his voice was gravelly. He undid the last of the bands and supported her to the floor, then sprawled beside her, chest heaving. “Give me a moment and I’ll get the cuffs off.”

  “No worries.” Sliding up against him, she put her head on his shoulder as she’d fallen asleep the night before, loving that his arm automatically bent to pull her closer. Her body sang with an exquisite kind of exhaustion, as if she’d been somehow purged. “That was intense.”

  He only grunted, but his fingers stroked her waist, not to soothe, she thought, but to savor.

  “Was that more Faust you were quoting?”

  He rolled his head toward her. Frowned. “I don’t recall. What did I say?”

  “Something about the power of the dog.”

  “Psalms.” He laughed, staring up at the ceiling again, without music or humor. “Damn me, what you pull out of my psyche.” He didn’t sound happy about it.

  “Are you religious?”

  “Not beyond your typical childhood indoctrination. Why?”

  “You seem to have a thing about heaven and hell.” Paradise and damnation.

  “Perhaps you put the fear of God in me.”

  “Surely that’s my line.”

  He looked at her with concern and turned enough on his side to brush her hair out of her face. “Did I hurt you? Too rough? Too much?”

  A funny question, from the man who’d switched her into a frenzy and fucked her past sanity, but she understood what he meant. She laid a hand on his cheek, then ran her fingers through his close-cropped hair. “You were perfect.”

  “Surely that’s my line,” he echoed her and smiled, more his daylight self.

  It made her laugh and she kissed him, sinking in as he responded, the meeting of mouths somehow impossibly dreamy and romantic. Especially in that room decorated like the inside of a womb, with Mozart’s demons still hissing in the background, shadows of Alec’s darker, gothic nature.

  “So, I did the math,” she said.

  “Clearly I didn’t keep you well enough occupied.”

  “It was easy math. If I’m only the second woman you’ve been with in New York and that affair was vanilla, then have you used all this stuff on anyone else?”

  He considered her long enough that she thought he might not answer. “Maybe I used it without full-sex. I mentioned that possibility.”

  “Yes. But I don’t think so. Am I wrong?”

  “Why does it matter?”

  “I’m not sure. I’m asking. You don’t have to say.”

  “My heart wasn’t in it,” he replied, so softly she wouldn’t have heard him had she not been inches away. Something about his tone, the pain in his eyes, broke her own heart a little. Feeling the need to comfort him, she kissed him, unsurprised when he gathered her close and wound his hands through her hair. Finally he broke the kiss, a glint of impatience in his eyes, the door to his soul firmly closed again. “I wish someone would shut off that bloody music.”

  * * *

  She didn’t walk into her own apartment until nearly nine o’clock. After another long bath, they’d ordered pizza and lolled on the terrace, keeping conversation to light, impersonal topics, almost by tacit agreement. Alec had been as carved out by their encounter as she, not arguing that much when she insisted she’d be fine if he sent her home in his car without accompanying her.

  The ride had given her some time and space to assemble her thoughts, away from the charisma and sexual distraction of Alec’s presence. They’d been together just over twenty-four hours and it had been more intense than relationships that lasted weeks. He probably understood more about her secret heart than any lover she’d had. And she—she’d seen into him, too.

  Though she wasn’t sure what to make of what she’d glimpsed.

&
nbsp; Kiki set aside her tablet and gave her a long look when she walked in dressed in last night’s cocktail dress. “I should say something about this spectacular spin you’ve put on the walk of shame, but you don’t look the least shamed.”

  Amber flopped onto the couch. “He very nearly killed me, but I would have died happy.”

  Intrigued, Kiki wrapped her arms around her knees and paused whatever movie she’d had on in the background. “That good, huh. What you hoped for?”

  “Better.” Now that she was home, ramping down from the high that was Alec, she seemed to be melting into the couch. “Omigod so much better. Beyond the realm.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “What?” She found she had the energy to sit up after all. “There is no uh-oh.”

  “If you say.” Kiki picked up the tablet again.

  “Tell me why you said it then.”

  “Is this only about sex, or are you falling for this guy? This much older guy who happens to be your boss, I might point out.”

  “I don’t fall for every guy I have earth-shattering, multi-orgasmic sex with.”

  “Actually, I’d argue you’ve never really fallen for any guy, ever.”

  Harsh, but possibly true. “Counter-argument—any other sex was just never this good.”

  “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”

  “I will.” She pushed up off the couch as it seemed to be threatening to suck her in again. “And on that note, I’m crashing.”

  “Wore you out, did he?”

  “Oh honey—you have no idea.”

  “I would if you shared some details.” Kiki patted the couch invitingly. “Tell Kiki a bedtime story.” She narrowed her eyes when Amber hesitated. “See? Big warning flag. You want to hug the experience close and keep it secret. You’re falling bad. You didn’t save a little memento, did you? Tell me you didn’t.”

  “Don’t be silly.” Gathering her dignity around her, she closed herself into her room. Opening her old ballerina jewelry box, she got out the rose she’d saved from the bouquet out of the stash in her bag. She centered it on top of the coaster from the bar where they’d talked. Nothing wrong with a couple of keepsakes.

  Didn’t necessarily mean anything.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Alec got to the office early. The flat had seemed too big without Amber’s vivacious presence, a realization that irritated him. They’d both agreed she needed to go home. Hell, he’d made the rule himself. Many good reasons for her not to spend the night in his bed and then go home to dress for work so they then could begin the pretense they hadn’t been tangled together in the most intimate ways possible.

  The night apart should have given him some much-needed distance. Instead, he’d missed her immediately and even now struggled against the impulse to see if she’d come in yet, to stop by her cube and say good morning. Far too dangerous, as the sight of her would bring his simmering thoughts of her sizzling to the surface. The gulf of days until Friday felt immense and he struggled against the deep-seated dread that she’d have sated her curiosity and decide against continuing.

  Which would likely be the best, all around. If and when she did, he would be gracious, wish her well and send her on her way.

  No dwelling on what he’d do after that.

  As soon as he thought Lily might be in, he headed to her department—making sure to take the long way around instead of the treacherous route that would lead him past Amber’s cubby. Lily glanced up in surprise when he rapped on the doorframe, then smiled and waved him in.

  “Alec. Just the man I wanted to see. Have a seat.” She raised an eyebrow when he shut the door. “Trouble?”

  “Nothing like that. How was your weekend?”

  “Restful, for once. Lovely weather. Coffee? No—tea.” She poured herself coffee and set the Mr. Tea going. Leaned on the sideboard. Outside her corner office windows, the city skyscrapers gleamed silver and glass as she looked him over. “You look better.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. More relaxed. A relief.”

  “I didn’t know you were concerned.” Or that his tension had showed so clearly.

  “I was.” She handed him the tea and a saucer for the bag. “In fact, I’d hoped to corner you for one more drink and some pointed questions last Friday, but then you took off like a bat out of hell.”

  “Pointed questions about what?” An icy shiver of warning slid down his spine. Lily, of all the partners, was the most observant.

  “Perhaps it’s moot.” She sat behind her desk and lifted one shoulder, then decided to forge ahead. “Are you happy here?”

  Not what he’d expected. “Yes. Very much so.”

  “I’ve wondered. I’m sure it’s difficult—new city, new clients, recovering from divorce is awful—but I’ve been worrying lately that you’re...restless.”

  A brilliant euphemism, if there ever was one. Still not what she meant, he thought. “Restless?”

  She scowled at him. “You and that poker face. Look. Bill, Hai and I greatly value what you’ve brought to us, to your department and the firm. If you’re being courted by a competitor, I hope you’ll tell us, give us the opportunity to sweeten the deal here. We’d go a long ways to keep you happy. Change up your staffing, projects, whatever.”

  Rather astounded, he stirred his tea. Then shook his head. “You’ve worried for nothing, though I confess I’m flattered. I have been out of sorts, but it’s nothing do with work.” Not exactly.

  “Good.” She blew out a relieved breath. “You know, Alec, I consider you a friend. If you need a shoulder...”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “All right then. I won’t take that as a brush-off, since you do seem more relaxed today and I know you’re a private man. Still—the offer stands. So, why did you come to see me? Please don’t tell me you’ve found other account discrepancies.”

  “No. Not that. Though I did look them all over, just in case,” he added, to needle her.

  She held up her hands, palms out. “Thank you for not telling me you were. I wouldn’t have slept a wink for fear you’d find something else.”

  “You run a clean department. Not your fault you missed what Curlew was up to.”

  “You and I both know that’s not true.” She tapped her glossy nails on the desk, clearly still annoyed with herself. “At least it’s in the lawyers’ hands now.”

  “However, along those lines, and with an eye to shaking up some staff, I’ve come to the conclusion that you should bring Amber Dolors over to your team.”

  She sat back in her chair, considered. “Why?”

  “You like her work. You said you decided to advance Chris to replace Curlew and would thus need someone junior to fill the hole. I think she’d flourish under your mentorship.”

  “What did she screw up?”

  Bugger it. “Not a thing.” He had to work to keep the anger out. Protective much? An excellent reason right there to get her out from under his supervision. “She does excellent work. I thought you wanted her on your team.”

  “I do. But you’re competitive about keeping the good people. It’s not like you to hand over someone out of the blue. If she’s got issues, I want to know about it.”

  “She doesn’t. I promise. I rather thought of it as a promotion for her, though any salary changes would, of course, be up to you.”

  Lily pursed her lips, sharp gaze digging into his brain. “Out with it. What’s the problem?”

  “No problem. You only just finished promising me whatever staffing changes I asked for.”

  “And now you’re defensive. Don’t give me the runaround. If this is because she’s female, I swear to God, I’m going to—”

  “It’s not,” he cut her off and she raised her brows in surprise at his shar
p tone. “Bloody hell,” he muttered and swallowed down the bitter tea. Steeped far too long. “Look. You offered to listen as a friend. I hope this will go no further.”

  “All right.”

  He scrubbed his hand over his scalp. A private man, she’d called him. Unbearable to say this. “I’m attracted.”

  Lily took a moment to process that, then nodded, not all that surprised after all. “She’s a pretty young woman.”

  “Indeed. I find I can’t trust my judgment around her.”

  “I see.” She swiveled idly in her chair. “Are you planning to act on it?”

  “That wouldn’t be fair to her.” Enough truth that he could say it with a stone-cold expression.

  “No, it wouldn’t,” Lily replied in crisp tone, then pointed a glossy nail at him. “She’s easily half your age.”

  “Believe me, I’m aware.”

  “This is the right thing to do then. I’ll set it up. Not a promotion but a very tasty lateral for her. And you’ll make noises that I stole her for my team.”

  “Milking the situation for a team victory? And you call me competitive.” He rose, relieved to be done with it. “Very well then.”

  “Alec?” She stopped him before he opened the door. “Thank you for confiding in me. You’re doing the right thing. The honorable thing.”

  The image of Amber bound to the red velvet wall, screaming as he pounded into her, flew through his brain.

  I only wish.

  * * *

  The workweek was agony. Though she understood, knew, that Alec maintained that cool distance as a direct result of the rules they’d agreed to, it still ate at her. They’d barely seen each other all week, much less spoken. Of course, her desk move to Lily’s side made it that much less likely that she’d run into him by chance. And easier for him to avoid her, a treacherously insecure voice whispered. After all, he’d be far from the first guy to bail after the bang.

  It would just be the first time she really cared.

  By Thursday night, Kiki had enough of her, pointing out that she might as well be having an affair with a married man, sitting home, sulking and pining. “Are you totally sure he’s not married?” she asked.