by Perry, J L
I look down at Riley, still laying on the floor. He wipes the blood from his lips as he stands. He looks angry and a little embarrassed. “Are you okay?” I ask as I walk towards him.
Riley doesn’t answer me. He just stares down the hall after Chase. I don’t like the look on his face. It’s scary.
Eventually he turns his attention back on me. “I’m gonna go and clean up. I’ll meet you in class.” That’s all he says before walking away. I’m dumbfounded.
••••
Chase
I can’t believe I lost my cool. I must admit it’s been building ever since that day I saw them together at the coffee shop. I’d been hoping it was just a one-time thing, but that’s obviously not the case. He’s been sniffing around her every chance he gets. I’ve always disliked that fucker, but now I detest him.
When he put his arm around her as they walked out of class, I nearly fucking lost it. I can’t stand to see his hands on her. When I heard him ask her out on a date, I couldn’t control what I was feeling. Panic, jealousy and pure fucking rage.
Bumping into him was a dick move, I know. My body just seemed to react on its own accord. I’m losing her. It’s all my doing because I’m the one who walked away in the first place, but fuck me if it isn’t hard to watch it happen.
Once I pick up my bag off the floor, I walk straight out of the building and head to my bike. I’m fucking out of here. If I stay I may do something I’ll regret. I need to get my emotions in check if I’m going to be around those two.
••••
Pops is working out back in the garage when I arrive home. As soon as he hears my bike pull up he comes out. “Hey Pops,” I say as he walks towards me.
“How come you’re home so early?” he asks with a frown as he wipes his greasy hands on a rag. I feel bad. I know my behaviour the past few weeks is worrying him.
I shrug. “I just didn’t want to be there today, that’s all.”
“Still pining over that pussy?” he asks with a chuckle as he shakes his head in disbelief. “Fuck, haven’t I taught you anything over the years boy?” Since my mum did the dirty on him, he’s lived the single life. I feel for him. He really got burnt by her, we both did.
I exhale. I wish I wasn’t in this position. I wish I’d never met her. No, that’s a lie. I just wish things were the way they used to be between us. Before I fucked it up. Before Riley fuckin’ Benson.
After getting off the bike, I follow him into the garage. I need to snap out of this funk I’m in. If she’s moving on I guess it’s time I did too.
I walk over to the hook on the back of the door and pick up my overalls. I can feel Pops’ eyes on me as I slide into them. This is a first for him. He’s never seen me hung up on a girl before. He’s not much of a talker when it comes to these things either. He probably doesn’t know what the fuck to say to me.
I walk towards the car he’s working on. He looks down into the motor and pretends he hasn’t just been eyeballing me. “Can you pass me the socket?” he asks. We’re silent for a few minutes as I stand there watching him work on the motor of his latest project.
“So, tell me the real reason you left school early today.”
“I just didn’t want to be there, that’s all,” I lie.
“You can’t kid a kidder, Chase. Your old man’s not stupid you know.” I sigh. I don’t really want to talk about this with him. He’s gonna think I’m a pussy. He looks up from the motor he’s working on and holds my stare. When he raises an eyebrow I know he’s not going to let me get away with silence.
“She’s seeing someone else.”
“Hmmm. I see. And I take it you’re not happy about it?” I just shrug. No I’m not fucking happy about it, but I’m not going to admit it. No way.
“It’s Riley fucking Benson,” I say through gritted teeth.
“That slimy fuckin’ copper’s boy?”
“Yeah, him.”
“And you’re happy with your girl going around with him?”
“She’s not my girl.”
“Coulda fooled me. You seem to have your fucking nuts all tied up for her.” I ignore his response. I’m certainly not going to admit that. Even though I know he’s right. He knows he’s fucking right too because he starts to chuckle. “Never thought I’d see the day,” is all he says as he stands and slaps my back. “My boy’s fuckin’ pussy-whipped.” He shakes his head as he leans over and continues to work on the motor.
“I’m not fucking pussy-whipped,” I snap. This just makes him laugh harder.
“Keep tellin’ ya self that, boy.”
••••
After getting an hour-long lecture from Pops, I eventually make it inside to my room. Thank fuck for that. I’m beating myself up enough without him adding fuel to the fire. He thinks I should try and get her back. I can’t do that though. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s better off without me.
I don’t come out of my room for the rest of the night. Not even for dinner. I’m too tied up inside to eat. It’s not like I’m missing out on anything anyway. Pops and I can’t cook to save our lives. If we don’t go to the clubhouse to eat, we live on frozen dinners. I hate that shit.
I’m surprised Pops hasn’t knocked on my door and made me come out to eat though. That’s one thing we always do together. I guess he knows I want to be alone. I need to cut my losses and snap out of this shit.
I toss and turn all night. Finally, sleep comes about 3:00 a.m. I need to be up at 5:00 a.m. for my run. I hate these fucking morning runs. Maybe I need to find another track to run at, one where Angel won’t be. That way I can go back to running in the afternoons.
After my run, I head back home to take a shower and have some breakfast. I really don’t want to go to Uni today. Not after what happened yesterday, but I don’t have a choice. Even though I’d like to, I can’t avoid those two forever.
I’m not going to let them stand in the way of my dreams. Thank Christ this is my last year. After I graduate I hopefully won’t have to see either of them again. Even though the thought of never seeing Angel makes me feel sick.
It’s just my luck as I round the corner to my first class I run straight into her. Fucking great. I can tell by the look she gives me that she’s pissed with me. At least she’s fucking looking at me, I guess. It kills me that she won’t even look at me anymore. I know it’s fucked up, because I do the same to her. I only look her way when I know she’s not paying attention.
We stand there for a short time just staring at each other. I don’t like to see the look of disappointment in her eyes. She’s got every right to be disappointed in me, but I still hate it. Eventually she breaks our stare and turns to walk away from me.
I reach out and grab her arm. “Angel, wait.” She doesn’t turn around to face me, but she doesn’t try to walk away either. I hear her sigh heavily. “I’m sorry about what happened yesterday, okay.” She continues with the silent treatment. I hate it. It’s going to kill me to say this, but I need to say it. “Look, if you’re happy with Riley, I’ll back off. Just be careful, okay. I don’t like or trust him.”
I don’t know why I even said anything, I don’t mean a word of it. Sure, I want to see her happy, but not at the hands of that fucker. She’s fucking mine, not his.
She doesn’t answer me. She stays rooted to the spot for a few seconds, before pulling her arm out of my grip and running down the hall. Leaving me standing there, feeling like…I don’t know what the fuck I feel like, but it’s not good. Probably how she felt when I walked out on her.
••••
Angel
As I run away I fight back the tears threatening to fall. Everything in me wanted to turn around and tell him I’m not happy. That he’s the only person I want to be with. In my heart I know Riley is my rebound; my chance to move on. Hopefully the one to help me get over Chase. That may be wrong on my part, but I am trying to make this work. Unfortunately, you can’t control who your heart wants.
I wish things were differ
ent between us, but they’re not. That ship has sailed. Chase doesn’t care for me like I care for him. So, there’s no point. I’ve already made a fool of myself where he’s concerned. I’m not about to do it again. Some things are better left unsaid.
I head straight for the ladies’ room. I need to pull myself together before I walk into class. The last thing I want is for Riley to see me upset. I don’t want any more trouble between those two.
••••
By the time Friday night rolls around, I’m over it; over Chase, over Riley. The last thing I feel like doing is going on a date. Dana won’t hear of it though. I call into the coffee shop to see her after Uni. She insists it’ll be good for me. She’s even coming over after work to help me get ready. I think it’s her way of making sure I don’t chicken out of going.
Before she arrives I lay out the clothes I’m going to wear tonight. Nothing too flash, it’s only dinner and the movies. Dana should be here shortly, so I text her before I jump in the shower, letting her know I’ll leave the back sliding glass doors unlocked for her.
I’m not surprised when I get out of the shower and walk back into my room, wrapped in towel, to find her sitting on my bed. She has a huge smile on her face, so I know she’s up to something.
When I look at the clothes I had laid out on my bed, I know why. She’s put away the top and jeans and replaced it with a dress. “I’m not wearing that,” I say. “It’s friggin’ winter. I’ll freeze my butt off.”
“Well that’s what Riley’s for, to warm you up.”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” I reply as I try to snatch up the dress. Dana grabs hold of it before I get a chance.
“You’re wearing this fucking dress and that’s final.” Even though she’s pissing me off, I can’t help but laugh at her.
“I’m not. It’s freezing out and I don’t want Riley to warm me up. I don’t even want to go on this damn date with him.” She sighs at my reply.
“Look babe, how are you ever going to get over that piece of shit if you don’t let anyone else in?”
“He’s not a piece of shit,” I snap.
“Why are you defending him? Look at how he treated you. How he continues to treat you.” I just shrug as I feel tears burn my eyes. Honestly, I can’t even tell you why I’m defending him, because after the way he’s acted, he kind of deserves that title, but, for some reason, I don’t like hearing her talk about him like that.
Dana stands and wraps her arms around me. “You’ve got to let him go,” is all she says. I know she’s right. I do.
“I know,” I say with a sigh. “My head is telling me the same thing. My heart though, is saying something completely different.”
“Moving on is the only way,” she whispers. Sighing, I wipe the stray tear that has fallen from my eye.
“Okay, I’ll wear the damn dress,” I eventually say.
“Hey,” she says as she pulls away from me so she can see my face, placing her hands on my shoulders. “You’re not only beautiful on the outside, you’re beautiful on the inside. If that fool can’t see how special you are, he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“It’s true, babe. Mr. Right is out there somewhere, just waiting for you. It may not be Riley, but you’ll find him someday. I promise.” Chase is my Mr. Right, I know it, but I don’t say that to her. She wouldn’t understand.
••••
By the time she leaves I’m feeling better. She insisted I drink a couple of glasses of wine to relax me while she worked her magic. I’m impressed with her handy work by the time she’s done. It’s been a while since I’ve worn a dress.
I went with the white dress she picked, but I paired it with a light denim jacket to dress it down a bit, and a thick tan belt around my waist and matching long tan boots. Dana left my long brown hair down, adding a few soft curls. My makeup is a little heavier than I’m used to, but overall, I love how I look.
I can tell by the look on Riley’s face when I open the door that he does too. When he licks his lips as his eyes travel the length of my body, it creeps me out.
I know I need to let Chase go and give someone else a chance, but I just don’t think Riley is the guy. He’s hot. Extremely hot, but that’s about it. He seems nice enough, when he’s not talking about himself, which has been often. The more I get to know him, the more I see how shallow he really is.
I must admit he looks handsome tonight. He’s wearing designer jeans and a nice button-down top. The cologne he is wearing though, is another story. It’s so friggin’ strong. What, did he bathe in it? It’s so overpowering that by the time we pull up outside the restaurant, I have a headache. I’m sure he thinks he smells wonderful, but he doesn’t. He smells like a perfume shop threw up all over him. He smells nothing like Chase.
While we’re seated at the restaurant, he gets a call. Once he’s off the phone he informs me that there’s a change of plans. We’re no longer going to the movies. His mates are going to a party and he wants to go. Great. Do I even get a say in this? I’ll be glad when this night is over.
After rushing through the rest of our meal, we head to his car. I really don’t want to go to this party, but I go along with it. The night can’t get any worse.
Around ten minutes later we pull up outside a house. There are cars everywhere, people littering the streets, music blaring. Shit. “Look, why don’t you drop me at home? That way you can go and have fun with your mates,” I say as he drives a few houses down looking for a park.
“I don’t think so. You’re coming with me,” he demands. Okay then. What an arse. His comment just confirms that he’s not the guy for me.
“I don’t even know these people.”
“So what? You know me.” He reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. “You’re my girl. Where I go, you go.” I want to tell him I’m not his girl, but I don’t. Instead I sigh before giving him a forced smile. I’ll give him tonight, but tomorrow this thing between us, whatever it is, is going to end.
Thankfully before he arrived at my house, I put my phone and some money into my jacket pocket. It’s something my dad always made my brother CJ and I do whenever we went out. “Just in case of an emergency,” he’d say.
I guess if I’m not having a good time and Riley doesn’t want to leave, I can always call a cab and make my own way home.
Once we’re out of the car, he starts making his way towards the party, not even waiting for me. I have to jog to catch up to him.
As we approach the house there are people everywhere. Some making out, someone passed out on the front lawn and even a girl vomiting at the side of the house. It’s not like I haven’t been to parties before, I’ve been to plenty, but I have a bad feeling in my gut about this one.
‘Trust your gut instincts’, my grandma always says. Knowing what I know now, I should’ve listened to my gut and turned around and gone home.
CHAPTER SIX
Chase
I really don’t feel like being here tonight, but I need to move on with my life so this is as good a place as any to start. Parties aren’t usually my thing. But, I made a promise to myself when I pulled up outside earlier, that I’d be taking someone home tonight. I have to. The sooner I get back to my old life, the sooner I’ll find the old me again.
The two girls on my lap are doing a good job of distracting me from my thoughts. That is, until the one person I’m trying to forget walks through the door. Fuck me. Worst part is, she’s with Riley fucking Benson. I push the girls off my lap and make my way to the kitchen. I had no plans of drinking tonight. Now that they’re here, I’ve changed my mind.
What I really should do is walk the hell out of here, but I’m not going to let those two spoil my night. I have to get used to seeing them together, even if it fucking kills me inside.
I grab a beer from the fridge before turning and making my way back out of the kitchen. Just my luck those two are making their way in as I’m leaving. My eyes instantly lock
with hers. Fuck, why do I torture myself?
She looks different tonight. I’ve never seen her made up like this before. She’s breathtaking. She always looks beautiful, but tonight…WOW! My eyes leave hers and travel the length of her body. Fuck me. She’s wearing a little white dress that makes her look like the Angel she is, and these sexy boots. I feel my dick twitch in my pants and that just pisses me off. I hate how she has such a strong effect on me.
I tear my eyes away from her. It kills me to look at her because I want her so bad, but I know I can’t have her. My eyes move to fuck-face Benson. He’s glaring at me. I tell you, I’m not a violent man, never have been, but boy I’d love to knock that cocksucker out. I raise my beer to my lips, taking a long pull, my eyes never once leaving his. Challenging him to have a go. If he thinks he can intimidate me with that look, he’s wrong.
He stares at me for a short time, eventually looking away. Just as I thought, fucking coward. I chuckle to myself as I walk around them. This is going to be one long night. All I can say is, if he wants to walk away in one piece tonight, he better stay the hell away from me.
I make my way back out into the main room. One of the girls who was sitting on my lap earlier makes her way towards me. Damn it, I’ve forgotten her name already. Her name’s not important anyway. I have one mission where she is concerned. I’m going to lose myself in her tonight and forget Angel ever existed.
I pull her in close. When she makes a beeline for my lips I pull back. “No kissing,” I say. She just shrugs and grabs hold of my cock. Fucking figures. I drape my arm around her shoulders and pull her over to the dance floor. I love to dance. It’s something I’ve always been good at. The girls love it, too.
We stay on the dance floor for a few songs. I’m trying so hard not to think about sweet-cheeks, but images of her in that fucking dress and those boots keep popping into my mind. I’d like to have her wrapped around me, wearing nothing but those boots. Jesus Christ.