by Perry, J L
“Hey, come here,” he says as he closes the distance between us and wraps me in his arms. “I’m sorry he did that to you. I wish I could’ve got to you sooner.” His words touch my heart. When a small sob escapes me, he tightens his embrace.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I whisper against his chest. “You saved me…thank you.” I hear him sigh but he continues to hold me. It makes me feel safe. I need safe right now.
“Do you need to go to the hospital or something?”
“No. I just want to go home. That’s where I was heading when Riley…,” I stop talking, not wanting to say the words. Chase hisses loudly through his teeth and I feel his body stiffen. I can tell he’s still angry about what he witnessed. I’ll never be able to thank him enough for what he did for me tonight.
He lets go of me and cups my face in his hands. “You sure you’re okay? Did he hurt you?” he asks as he looks over me. I shrug my shoulders. I’m not sure how to answer.
“Not really. More my ego than anything else.” It’s the best answer I can give him right now. I’m still feeling numb, so I’m not sure if I have any physical injuries. Mental ones? Yes. As to the extent of that, only time will tell. His eyes search my face as I talk. He’s looking for something, I’m not sure what.
Suddenly he pulls me into his arms again. “I’m so fucking glad you’re okay,” is all he says as he holds me tight against him. The tears rise to my eyes again, but I manage to hold them at bay. I don’t want to break down in front of him.
“Come,” he says after holding me for a few minutes. “Let me take you home.” After what happened last time he took me home, I’m not sure it’s a good idea. I’m not going to argue though. I need to get as far away from this place, and Riley, as I can.
••••
Chase
My mind is spinning a hundred miles an hour as I lead her towards my bike. I’ve never been more grateful that I listened to my instincts and went looking for her. Fuck knows what would’ve happened to her if I didn’t. The thought makes my insides churn.
I should’ve killed that fucker for what he did. I probably would’ve if she hadn’t stopped me. She’s being so brave considering what she just went through, but I can tell she’s not okay. She’s putting on a front for me. I wish she wouldn’t do that. I suppose she’s lost all trust in me after the way I’ve been with her lately.
Angel is the nicest person I’ve ever met. She wouldn’t harm another soul. Look how bad both Riley and I have treated her. She didn’t deserve any of it. She’s so kind and trusting and both of us took advantage of her. I feel like an arse all over again.
What happened tonight is partly my fault. If I hadn’t treated her so bad to begin with, she never would’ve ended up with him. If I hadn’t have stuck my nose in tonight, she more than likely never would’ve stood up to him like she did, which resulted in her being attacked.
Once we reach my bike, she stops in her tracks. She wraps her arms around herself. It doesn’t go unnoticed how she’s trembling. I remove my leather jacket and wrap it around her. Seeing her like this kills me. I wish more than anything I could redo the past few months, so none of this happened.
I reach for my helmet and place it gently on her head. She gives me a small smile as I buckle it, making sure it’s secure. I make a vow to myself then and there that from now on I’m going to protect her. I can’t bear the thought of anything else happening to her. I’m also going to try my best to make up for the way I’ve been treating her.
I can’t take back what Riley has done to her, but I can sure as hell try and rectify all the fucked up things I’ve done.
Before I hop onto my bike, I ask her again if she’s okay. She nods. “Are you sure you don’t want to go and see a doctor? I’ll feel better if someone checks you out.” She smiles at me again. It’s something I guess. The sadness I see in her eyes though, tells a whole different story.
“No. I’d rather go home if that’s okay?” she whispers.
“Okay.” I’m not happy about her not getting seen to, but I’m not going to push it tonight. She’s just been through a harrowing experience, so if home is what she wants, home is what she’s going to get.
I straddle my bike and reach for her hand and help her on behind me. “Put your feet on the foot rests,” I say, turning my head to look at her. She puts her hands on my waist and lifts up her legs. I’m not sure why, but disappointment is what I feel when she doesn’t wrap her arms around me and snuggle in close, like she did last time.
Why would she though? After what she’s just been through, and the way I’ve been with her, I guess I’m lucky she even trusts me enough to get her home safe.
Before I start the bike I look down at her legs. That’s when I notice both her knees are grazed and bleeding. It makes my blood boil with anger. I want to get off my bike and go give that fucker another serving. Of course, I don’t. Angel is my first priority right now, and she needs to get away from this place to somewhere she’ll feel safe.
••••
We arrive at her place a short time later. I had to drive pretty slowly because of the way she was holding onto me. I was worried she was going to fall off.
As soon as I pull up and shut off the bike, she gets off and removes the helmet before passing it to me. “Thanks for the ride, and for ummm…you know, everything else,” she says as she puts her head down. I can tell she’s embarrassed by what’s happened. She has no reason to be. What happened was totally out of her control.
“Hey,” I say as I get off the bike, putting my hand under her chin to gently raise her head. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m sorry it happened…that I didn’t get to you sooner. I’m sorry about a lot of things. What I did to you that day, when I left here. How I’ve treated you since.” I exhale as I see sadness wash over her beautiful face. “You didn’t deserve what happened tonight. You don’t deserve what I’ve done to you either, I hope you know that.” When her eyes well with tears, I pull her into my arms. “None of this is your fault.”
She lets me hold her for a few more minutes before pulling away. “I better get going,” she says. I don’t want to leave her. She shouldn’t be alone after everything that’s happened tonight.
“Can I come in for a while? Just to make sure you’re going to be alright.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Last time you were here…ummm, things didn’t turn out well,” she says as she lowers her head again. Her words are like a kick in the guts. God I hate myself for what I did to her. I guess I deserve it though.
Despite what she says, I’m adamant I’m not leaving her alone. I need to make sure she really is okay. Even though she’s doing a good job of it, I can’t help but feel she’s putting on a front for me.
“Please. I’m not a monster,” I plead. “Do you really think I’d try something on you after what you’ve just been through?”
She shrugs. “I guess not.”
“Just for a while,” I practically beg. “I’m worried about you, that’s all. Once I know you’re going to be okay, I’ll leave. I promise.” I cross my fingers over my heart for added effect. I see the corners of her lips turn up in the tiniest of smiles. Everything in me wants to reach out and touch her. To make all of this shit go away.
“Okay,” she whispers as her shoulders slump and she looks down at the ground. I hate how she’s finding it hard to look at me. I can tell she doesn’t really want me here, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. I can’t really blame her though, after the way I’ve treated her.
There’s no way I could just leave her. Not yet anyway. She may not think so, but being alone right now is the last thing she needs.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Angel
As soon as we’re inside, I head for the kitchen. “Can I get you something to drink?” I ask. I’m in two minds about him being here. I’m glad he cares enough to want to stay, but on the other hand, I desperately want to be alone. I’ve been trying so hard to hol
d my emotions at bay. I’m not sure how much longer I can do it. It’s like a volcano building inside me, ready to erupt any minute.
“Sure. If it means I get to stay longer then I’ll have a coffee,” he says with a cheeky smirk. It makes me smile. I’ve missed the playful banter we used to share.
I pull the jug out of the cupboard and make my way to the sink so I can fill the coffee machine. My wrist is still tender from my fall earlier, so once the jug is full of water, the weight sends a shooting pain up my arm. “Shit,” I say, dropping the jug into the sink.
“Jesus, sweet-cheeks,” Chase says as he quickly comes over to me. “Give me a look at that,” he says reaching for my hand. “Is it sore?”
“I think I sprained it when I…uh fell.” For some reason I feel embarrassed. God, I’m not ready to talk about any of this right now. I just want to put it out of my mind.
Chase gently takes hold of my wrist. I look up at him and watch as he studies my hand. He’s frowning as he looks over it. I’ve missed being near him. Just like the first day I met him I’m overcome by his handsome features.
He speaks, snapping me out of my trance. “It’s not swollen, so I don’t think it’s broken.”
“It isn’t broken,” I assure him. “Look I can move it. It’s just tender.”
“Do you want me to take you to the hospital to get an X-ray, just in case?”
“No. That’s not necessary.” He looks up at me. I hold his stare, silently letting him know I’m not going to see a doctor. He goes to say something, but then changes his mind. His gaze moves back down to my wrist. He gently turns my hand over. My palm is all grazed and covered in dry blood from where I hit the pavement, trying to flee Riley.
“Do you have something I can clean this up with?” he asks.
“Yeah, in the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. You don’t have to do it though. I can fix myself up when you leave.”
He reaches over me and picks up the jug out of the sink. “Let me fill this for you first.” I smile to myself as I step out of the way. He obviously wants to take care of me, so I’m going to let him. I’ve missed the nice Chase, so much.
Once he pours the water into the coffee machine and turns it on, I lead him to the main bathroom. Thankfully, I have first aid supplies in both bathrooms for when my parents or brother stay over. The last thing I want to do is take him to the en-suite in my bedroom. I know he wouldn’t try anything, but I’m not comfortable having him in my bedroom right now, if ever.
“Sit,” he orders, pointing to the toilet. I do as he says. After rifling through the cabinet and getting what he needs, he lines it all up on the basin. He wets a clean cloth before coming over and kneeling in front of me, wiping over the grazed part of my hand. His touch is so gentle. After the roughness I experienced at the hands of Riley tonight, Chase’s gentleness brings tears to my eyes. I fight them back down though. I need to keep it together.
“This is going to sting,” he says as he pours some Betadine onto a cotton ball.
When I look down at what he’s doing, I notice his knuckles are banged up too. Although I hate to see that he’s hurt, I look up at him and smile, as gratitude for what he did for me tonight fills my heart. I hate to think where I’d be now if he hadn’t come along when he did.
He looks up, finding me smiling. “What?” he asks.
“Nothing.” I shrug. “I’m just grateful for everything you did for me tonight.”
“Don’t sweat it,” he says as a small smile plays out on his gorgeous face. “I’m sorry it happened and I’m glad I got there when I did…” I see pain etched on his face as I presume it’s from the events of tonight. “I’ll always be here for you if you need me, sweet-cheeks.” I feel my lips slightly curl again at his nickname for me.
“You will?” I ask in surprise. I find that hard to believe after the way he’s been with me lately. Admittedly, he’s kind of redeemed himself after tonight though.
“Of course I will. Despite what you think, I do care about you, Angel,” he answers as he looks up, locking his eyes with mine. What he says surprises me. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. He seems sincere, and it fills me with happiness.
Maybe after tonight, things might be able to go back to the way they used to be. I can only hope. Minus the sex part of course. Even though it was wonderful, I’ll never walk that road with him again. Once bitten, so they say. I desperately want our friendship back.
Once my hand is cleaned up and my wrist bandaged, he looks up at me again. “How’s that feel?” he asks.
“Great,” I whisper, suddenly feeling shy and completely exposed by the sympathetic look he’s now giving me. I’m still mortified that he saw what happened between Riley and me earlier. I hate he had to see that. I drop my head, looking down at my hands nervously twisting together on my lap.
“Thank you. You didn’t need to do all this. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than being stuck here looking after me. Like being back at that party with all those girls.” I see him flinch at my words. I hated seeing him with the girl grinding against him. I know I have no right because I was there with someone else as well.
“Hey,” he says as he gently places his finger under my chin, raising my head so he can look at me. “I’m exactly where I want to be,” he says with sincerity, as his eyes search mine. “As for that girl at the party, she means nothing to me. Fuck, I don’t even remember her name,” he chuckles.
I’m not sure why he feels the need to clarify that with me, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me happy. I didn’t like the way it made me feel seeing them together.
He’s still kneeling in front of me, his eyes glued on mine. My heart starts to race as I look into his beautiful blue eyes that I’ve missed so much. He’s giving me one of those intense looks again. I wish I could get inside his head to know what he’s thinking when he looks at me like that. There’s just something about that look I love.
Something passes between us. I can’t explain it, but a sense of calm settles over me. All the uncertainty I’ve been feeling about us the past two months vanishes. I get this overwhelming feeling that things between us are going to be okay.
He exhales, finally breaking our eye contact. He looks down at my legs before reaching for the zipper of one of my boots. It makes me jump. “What are you doing?” I ask in horror as I quickly pull my leg away from him.
“Shit, sorry. I didn’t think. Your knees are all grazed. I thought I’d take your boots off before I put the Betadine on. I don’t want to ruin them.”
“Oh,” is all I say. I feel silly now for the way I just acted. “Sorry. I’m a little jumpy I guess.”
“Don’t apologise. After everything you went through tonight, it’s understandable. I didn’t think. It’s my fault.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” He shifts back. I can tell he’s feeling uncomfortable now. That’s the last thing I want. I’m thankful to have him here, thankful for everything he’s done for me tonight.
I lift my leg up to him. I don’t want him to think I’m scared of him because I’m not. Being with him actually makes me feel safe. I know he’ll never do the kind of things Riley did to me.
He takes my leg gently in his hand, looks up at me and smiles. I really love his smile. I’m so glad he’s with me now. I couldn’t ask for a better ending to such a horrific night.
••••
Chase
Fuck I’m happy to be here with my sweet-cheeks. I’ve missed her so much. Of course I’d never admit that out loud, but I have. More than anything, I wish I could undo what that fucker did to her tonight. But if any good can come out of it, maybe it can help close the huge gap which has formed between us and our friendship over the past few months. I’ve missed hanging out with her. Missed having her in my life. I’ve always loved being around her, near her.
I hate seeing all these marks on her. It really fucks with my head. Even though they all appear to be superficial, it’s the internal damage from the attack that
worries me most. She’s doing a good job of playing it down, making me think she’s alright, but when I attempted to remove her boots just now, my suspicions were confirmed. She’s far from okay.
Even her smiles don’t reach her eyes. That’s one thing I used to love about her. Her smiles usually light up her whole face. Not tonight though. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen one of her signature smiles in a while. That makes me feel like shit. I’m sure it’s because of what I did to her that day when I walked out of here. Not to mention the way I’ve been treating her ever since.
Now she has to contend with the way he’s treated her too. Fuck. It makes me feel like the biggest arsehole. Out of all the girls I’ve ever met in my lifetime, Angel is the one person who should never be mistreated.
I try to put all that out of my mind for now, so I can concentrate on getting her all patched up. Once I’m done, I stand and hold out my hand to help her up. She smiles as she places her small hand in mine. I love feeling her skin against mine.
Memories of what happened with her last time I was here instantly come back. I can’t go there now though, so I push them straight back out. I’ve tried so much not to think about that day, but being with her now makes it hard not to. I’d give anything for a do-over.
Jesus, what am I thinking?
If I could, I’d certainly make sure it didn’t end so horrible for her this time. Maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea, but fuck me, I want to be here. She needed someone to take care of her and more than anything I wanted that person to be me.
As I stand here now, looking into her beautiful big brown eyes, holding her delicate hand in mine, I realise everything I’ve been fighting when it comes to her, has been a total waste of time. What I feel for her in this moment is so much stronger than I ever thought possible.
Shit. I can’t go there again. I break our eye contact and pull my hand out of hers. “How about we go and have that coffee?” I ask, trying to smooth out the internal fucking freak-out I just experienced. I hope she didn’t notice. I’m sure she’s feeling pretty fragile right now. I’d hate her to think I didn’t want to be here, because fuck me I do.