Breaking the Rules

by L. K. Lewis

  “Draaaaaake,” Morgan moans, as my tongue laps at her swollen flesh. Morgan wraps her legs around my waist, and starts to pull me up her body. I stop just as my own swollen flesh meets her moisture slickened opening. “Yes,” Morgan cries out as she pulls my mouth down onto hers, kissing me like it’s been months without her, not days. “I need you,” she breathes into my mouth as I ease myself into her opening.

  “Oh God, baby, I feel like I’m finally home,” I say between kisses as I gently rock my hips, finding a slow, fluid rhythm. I want to take my time with Morgan tonight, and really savor her. It might be a few more days before I get to spend the night with her again.

  “You are home, Drake,” Morgan whispers. She looks into my eyes, and steals a great line from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, “Home is wherever I’m with you.”

  I continue my slow rhythm and Morgan and I exchange soft moans along with various whispers of “I love you”, “Oh right there”, and “Yes”.

  “I’m so close, baby, but I want you to come with me. I need it, Morgan,” I grunt as I climb closer to the edge.

  “I’m right there too,” Morgan growls as we fall over the edge, finding our release together. I look deep into Morgan’s eyes and tell her that I love her, as I fall asleep holding her tight, feeling her soft breath against my chest.

  *****

  I wake before Morgan, and after watching her sleep for a few moments, I sneak out of bed and make coffee. I set the coffee tray up with sugar, cream, and even a little toast and jam, and bring it to her room. I set the tray on her nightstand, and sit beside her on the bed, stroking her face softly before I lean over and wake her with sweet kisses.

  “Wake up, beautiful girl,” I whisper softly in her ear before kissing that sweet spot at the base of her neck above her collar bone. Morgan starts to stir so I continue, “I’ve brought you some coffee and am about to go jump in the shower. Care to join me, baby?”

  A smile crosses Morgan’s sleep-flushed cheeks and she raises her hands above her head in a long stretch. She nods as her smile grows wider and she opens her eyes. I stand up in my naked morning glory and head to the bathroom.

  I’m not in the shower long before I hear the shower door open and shut softly, and feel two long arms wrap around my waist as Morgan presses her body into my back.

  “Good morning, my love, did you sleep well?” I ask as I turn to face Morgan.

  “I slept better than I have in days. Thank you for the coffee and toast, I love waking to a beautiful man bringing me room service!” Morgan says sweetly as I turn her to the side so she can feel the warm stream of water as well.

  My life again feels whole as Morgan and I catch each other’s glances in the mirror as we brush our teeth and finish getting ready for work. I won’t have a chance to spend time with her today, but I keep reminding myself that tomorrow is Friday and we will again have the whole weekend together.

  Chapter 22

  Morgan

  Friday is finally here, and I have a whole uninterrupted weekend with Drake to look forward to. My work week went by pretty easily. Thompson Manufacturing is the only major account I’m working on right now, and with Drake and his father working so tirelessly to finish up other projects, my work was pretty much on pause. I used my free time yesterday and left work an hour early to go to the spa after working through another lunch break. Three glorious hours later I was waxed, polished, exfoliated, and ready spend to some extra quality time with my man. It is funny to think about how hard my separation from Drake has been this week because in reality, we were only separated from each other Monday, Tuesday and Thursday night, we snuck in a little elevator rendezvous Tuesday, and he spent the night Wednesday. I think that is actually quite typical for a normal working couple that isn’t married or living together yet. I think that just goes to show the magnetic draw that pulls us together. We need each other. I never knew I needed anyone until Drake. I was so focused on carving a career and life out for myself that I didn’t realize I needed anyone at all. Perhaps it wasn’t that I needed someone, I just needed Drake.

  Drake is going to hit the gym after work and head to my place. He was going to just skip it and head on over, but I know he needs his alone time, and he always feels his best when he has worked out his problems and concerns with a punching bag or a boxing partner. Plus, I have a surprise cooked up for him, so this gives me a little extra time to get things into place.

  I absolutely love my relationship with Drake. Of course it would be nice to be out in the open like most couples, but for us, for right now, it’s perfect. Especially our sex life. We are so compatible in bed. We absolutely worship each other’s bodies, and although he is a nicely endowed man, he fits inside me like a glove. Drake makes me feel so sexy and confident. I’m never ashamed to prance around naked in front of him, or make excited noises or scream his name as I climax. Everything I do, Drake seems to love, and I feel the same about him.

  I don’t think our sex life needs to be “spiced up” in any way, and I’ve never been this forward in bed, but I thought it might be fun to surprise Drake at the end of a long work week. On the way home from the spa last night I was feeling a little excited, so I decided to stop at one of the many sex shops the city has to offer. I pass a few on my way home, and have always wondered what they have to offer besides the obligatory bachelorette party penis straws and boas. I wasn’t looking for anything too racy, but thought maybe a little lingerie outfit that was a little more risqué than my sheer robes or nighties might be fun. I had picked out a sexy little bra/garter/crotchless panty set and was on my way to pay when some fuzzy handcuffs caught my eye. I have never been turned on by the idea of whips and chains, or anything involving a sub/dom relationship, but the idea of being tied up and having Drake make his way with my body really turned me on.

  After work tonight, I stopped by the store to pick up some red roses and champagne, along with fresh fruits and cheeses that I have arranged on a platter. I have the champagne chilling in a bucket of ice with two flutes on my night stand, and I made a trail of rose petals from the door of my apartment all the way to my bed, and left my bedroom door cracked just slightly. My new little outfit fits quite nicely, and I’m not embarrassed, but actually a little turned on at the fact that my new Brazilian wax from yesterday is now proudly on display through my crotchless panties. It was a struggle to figure out just how to latch my hands in the handcuffs to my headboard but I was able to do it without help. I figured as a last resort I could have Amanda come over to help me, but I’m not sure either of us needs that image in our heads. I was smart and made sure to put the key to the cuffs on the nightstand next to the champagne so, when ready, Drake can free me. Drake should be here shortly, and now the anticipation mounts as I await his arrival, excited for our weekend of pure bliss to start.

  Drake

  I have been waiting for this day all week. Spending the night with Morgan was just what I needed to restore balance in my life, but that was two days ago and I’m already feeling off kilter. Although I really wanted to skip the gym and go straight over to Morgan’s right after I wrapped my meeting with my dad, I took her advice and decided to get a workout in first. I always feel better after a few rounds in the boxing ring, and I want everything with Morgan to be perfect this weekend so I got an hour in with my sparring partner, and now I’m showered, changed, and ready to do nothing but worship my girl for 48 hours straight. Morgan didn’t really say that she had anything in particular planned for the weekend, so I’m assuming she just wants to lay low and hang out which sounds perfect to me.

  ….

  “Hey Morgan, I’m here …” I call out. She didn’t answer her door immediately so I just let myself in.

  “I’m in my bedroom, come on in!” Morgan calls.

  I follow a beautiful trail of rose petals to Morgan’s bedroom and enter a nightmare that is my past. Morgan is handcuffed to her bedpost wearing a sexy black outfit including crotchless panties and her beautiful bare pussy
is on display. This should be an amazing turn on which I’m sure was her goal, but instead it’s my greatest fear. I couldn’t control myself in a situation like this before and it ruined my life. I can’t do this again. I can’t hurt Morgan. I need to leave. This is so fucked up, I need to leave now.

  “Morgan, baby, what are you doing?” I ask, trying to breathe through the panic that is ravaging my body.

  “What? I thought you’d like this,” Morgan responds with disappointment and fear in her voice. Her eyes are tearing up, shit.

  “Morgan, baby, why did you do this? I don’t want you to do this!” I go to her. Eyeing the key I grab it and start unlocking the handcuffs.

  “I thought it would be something new and fun. What’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry, I can’t do this, I have to go,” I say. I cover Morgan with a blanket and head for her bedroom door.

  “Drake? What’s wrong? What did I do? I thought you’d like this … come back babe, talk to me.” Tears are streaming down Morgan’s face. She looks both heartbroken and panicked. I hate myself but I can’t stay.

  “Morgan, I’m sorry baby, I have to go. I can’t explain myself right now, but I have to go. You look beautiful, baby, I’m so sorry,” I say as I leave Morgan alone in her bedroom, crying without an explanation.

  “Drake!” She cries, and I hear her sobs as I close her apartment door behind me.

  This is so fucked up. I never thought in a million years I would walk back into a situation like that. I’ve worked so hard to remove myself from the fucked up situations I put myself into in my past. Walking into Morgan’s bedroom seeing her tied up and ready to be fucked like that was a horrific reminder of how I used to spend my time.

  I’d get coked out and wasted, and walk into the various high end underground brothels this city has to offer and fuck whatever whore was waiting for me. Sometimes I’d stumble into the seedier joints where the girls were chained to the beds, strung out and waiting to be fucked so their pimps would pay them with their next fix. I always used a condom, never shared needles, never actually used needles that I can remember, but I put myself in some crazy situations.

  Then there was the last time. That wasn’t a whore, though. That was a woman I thought I loved. I thought I loved her, and I hurt her. I got fucked up, things went too far, I lost control of myself, and I hurt her. I thought I loved her, but looking back, it was nothing compared to how I love Morgan. She is my light, my life, my soul.

  I’m ashamed of my past, too ashamed to tell Morgan of everything I’ve done. I’ve let her in about my mom, my past habits, but I can never tell her about this. She’ll leave me, or worse, she’ll love me too much to leave me and she’ll keep me, but she’ll be afraid of me and things won’t ever be the same. I’ll love her too much to let her go and we will go on forever in agony trying to forget and move on from my past. I can’t do that to her. Maybe I should just end this … Fuck!

  I moved on from my past. I’m clean, living life on the straight and narrow, and until Morgan I was abstinent. But things have changed now. Morgan entered my life and changed things forever. I will never love again the way I love Morgan. I’ve fucked up again, and hurt her. I’ve hurt the love of my life by walking out on her the way I did. I didn’t even explain anything to her. She said she’d trust me and withhold judgment if I would be honest with her and open up to her, and I just left without giving her the chance.

  Morgan

  What the hell just happened? That was not how things were supposed to go. I completely freaked Drake out. I literally sent him running, thank God he uncuffed me first. I’m sitting here now, alone, confused, in shambles, wondering what I did and how to fix it but I don’t know what to do. Worse, Drake won’t answer his phone, and won’t return my texts. I don’t know if he’s okay, and I’m worried about him. Did I just ruin everything? Did I just lose the love of my life? I just wanted to do something special and fun. I thought Drake would see me and lose his mind, but not like that. In my mind he would come to me and make love to me every way possible and we would spend another romantic weekend drinking champagne in bed, barely coming up for air. Now I’m left feeling silly and rejected. If Drake won’t return my calls or texts, how can we move on from this? Can we move on?

  I crawl out of bed, get dressed, clean up the rose petals and put the champagne back in the fridge. I lie down on the couch, wrap a blanket around myself and try to block out what happened with a sappy made for TV movie, but that doesn’t work. Feeling sad and alone, I give into my tears again, and cry myself to sleep.

  I wake up late Saturday morning, and immediately check my phone. Drake still hasn’t called or texted. I want him to know that I’m still here and still love him, but I don’t know what to do. I feel like going over to his house to try to talk things out, but if he won’t even pick up, he obviously doesn’t want me showing up at his door. I figure I have nothing to lose since we are probably over anyway, so I shoot him a quick text.

  Me: I don’t know what happened last night. I’m so sorry for freaking you out, I just wanted to be sexy for you and have a fun night. I love you and I’m here for you if you still want me, or if you want to talk.

  ….

  It has been hours since I texted Drake. I have tried everything to keep myself busy and my mind from going insane. I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom, I tried reading and watching TV, I went for a run, went grocery shopping, and now it’s Saturday night, and I’m sitting home alone. This is the second evening I planned on spending with Drake and I still haven’t even heard from him. I’m in a world of radio silence and it’s killing me.

  I’m not even sure who to turn to for advice. I obviously can’t talk to my mom, she doesn’t even know about Drake. I would call Amanda, but she doesn’t exactly have experience with this type of relationship and I’m not exactly sure I want her to know every detail of what goes on between Drake and me.

  I’m going stir crazy in my apartment so I decide to go for a walk. I walk through the city forever and, before I realize it, I’ve walked into a shitty part of town and into the bowling alley that Drake’s friend and ex drug dealer Garrett owns. I’m not sure what to say, but I figure he would be the best person to ask for advice because he knows the old Drake. I don’t know if it was the way I was dressed or the fact that I was handcuffed to the bed, or both, that freaked Drake out last night, but obviously something triggered his panic attack. Perhaps Garrett can give me some insight. I glance over at the shoe rental counter and see Garrett standing there with a confused look on his face. He definitely recognizes me, but doesn’t look like he understands what I’d be doing here without Drake. This is not a place I’d normally hang out in, especially by myself.

  “Morgan, so nice to see you again. Drake’s not with you?” Garrett asks, intrigued.

  “Hey, Garrett. No, Drake’s not with me. I’ve actually come to ask you for some advice. Something happened last night, and Drake kind of freaked out and took off and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I was wondering if that is typical behavior.”

  “This is not typical for the Drake that I used to know. However, the Drake I used to know was wasted all the time and when he was having a bad day, he’d come to me for something to ease his mind if you know what I mean. The good news is this … I haven’t seen him since the last time you guys came here to bowl, which means whatever it was that upset him, he didn’t turn to drugs. Unless he went to someone else, which is highly unlikely. Also, if he left abruptly and hasn’t contacted you since, he most likely just removed himself from a situation that was making him uncomfortable, or triggering something he couldn’t handle. I’m not sure what he did to clean himself up, rehab, AA, therapy, or something else, but a common coping tool that I was taught is to step away from a situation that could trigger bad behavior until you are able to deal with it, if at all,” Garrett says with a shrug.

  “Okay, so he removed himself from a hard situation, I get that, but does that mean that he’s removed himself
from me?” I ask, not sure if I really want to hear the answer.

  “I don’t know. Drake looks at you like there is no one else in the world. The few times we have hung out lately, you are all he talks about. I know he loves you and he struggles with the secrecy of your relationship, but think about that for a second. You both are giving up all of the wonderful things that go along with a normal relationship like spending time with family and friends as a couple, going on dates to places besides a seedy bowling alley owned by drug dealer,” Garrett says with a smile, “those are all of the fun things that come with a relationship. You guys are willing to forgo all of that just to be together. I don’t think Drake has removed himself from you altogether, but he removed himself from whatever was going on, so think about that and give him some time to come around.”

  I can’t believe I’m actually going to admit this to Garrett, but I need his insight and I’m sure he’s heard much worse so here goes.

  “I wanted to surprise him with a little extra fun last night, so I went to a sex shop and bought some kinky lingerie and some fuzzy handcuffs. He came over last night and found me in my room wearing very little, cuffed to my bed, and he freaked out and left. Thank God he uncuffed me first or I would have been screwed.”

  “Oh, well … um …” Garrett was at a loss for words, which might not be a good thing. “I think you might need to talk to Drake about this one. I’m not sure if I should say what I know because it’s not really my place but … just wait for Drake to come around. He told me he was trying hard to let you in on his past and some of the demons that he has faced. I’d be patient if you can and wait for him to tell you this. I’m sorry if I’m not being very helpful.”

  “Thanks Garrett, you have been helpful. I won’t worry too much about him now, so thank you. I guess I’ll just be patient and wait for him to come back to me,” I say.

  “I hope he does, Morgan. You two are a great couple, and I really like seeing Drake happy. It’s weird to go from the type of a relationship that Drake and I used to have to living a clean life and actually being friends. It’s nice,” Garrett says, and I turn to leave the bowling alley. I tell him thanks again, and give him a small wave as I leave.