Leather Bound

by Kyle Robinson

  We’re at a part in our story where things take a turn. This is the part where our young mistress, Miss Valerie Mason, takes her exit. Let me show you how this all unfolded.

  We’d pulled to a stop for the night. I was already scanning the area to see if we could find our next trophy when she stopped me.

  “William, we need to talk.”

  I turned my attention to her. “What’s wrong?”

  She shifted and stared at me. I couldn’t help but smile at her. She looked beautiful, and it made me grin from ear to ear.

  “There’s something you should know.”

  I looked at her still curious. “What’s going on?”

  “I think I’m pregnant.”

  I stared at her a little confused. It rattled me, I won’t lie. “Are you sure?”

  “Not absolutely sure no, but I took a test, and it came back positive.”

  Neither of us said much, we sat there and stared out the window. She was the first one to speak up. “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m not sure what to think.”

  It became quiet again. I think she was trying to let me process everything, it was hard for me to wrap my head around.

  “It is possible, but it seems, I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “Yeah, neither was I.”

  “So, what do we do now?”

  “Well, it’s hard for me to say. I can’t stay on the road and living like I have been.”

  “So what do you want to do?”

  “I think it's best if you drop me off somewhere.”

  “I can’t leave you in the middle of nowhere.”

  “Do you know where the next load is going?”

  “Not yet, but I’ll find out in the morning.”

  She sat there looking out the window. “I’ve got family in Ohio. If you’re going up that way, you can drop me off there.”

  “What about the kid?”

  “What about them?”

  “I can’t leave you to take care of a kid by yourself.”

  “Let’s be honest.” She started. “You can’t do anything about it. You’ve got your own family to worry about. I don’t want to drag you into this whole thing.”

  “I kind of asked for it. You’ve been on the road with me for months. I’m kind of surprised that this hasn’t happened before now.”

  “Yeah…” She trailed off.

  I stopped trying to put it all together. “Well, what if we don’t run back toward Ohio?”

  “Then I’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

  “Okay, then let’s say even if we can get up to Ohio. We won’t get as close to where you need to be.”

  “We’ll get as close as we can, and I’ll call someone from a payphone. They’ll come get me.”

  I had little to say at that point. We were sitting in the parking lot of the truck stop in the middle of New Orleans. I dropped the load off the next morning and drove to the address of our next pickup.

  “Well?”

  “You’re in luck. We’re heading up to New York. I’ll be able to cut time and drop you off along the way.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  “Do we have another option? I still don’t like this.”

  “Me either, but it is the best way to do this. You’ve got to know that.”

  I couldn’t say much else. She had decided. We gathered up and crawled into the bed and slept that night. The next morning I was up before her and started driving. I'd been on the road for three hours when she woke up.

  “Hey, why didn’t you wake me before we left.”

  “Given your current state I thought it might have been better to let you sleep.”

  She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “That’s thoughtful.” She walked over and took a seat in the other chair. We rode that way in silence for a while. It was one of the most awkward things I have felt in my life.

  “Okay, I can’t keep pretending this makes perfect sense. Are you going to let me see this kid?”

  “If you’d like to.”

  “And you?”

  “What about me?”

  “What are you going to do to raise the kid?”

  “I’ll get a little help until I can get on my feet.”

  There was a question I wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t come. “So, what about the killing? Can you walk away from it like it never happened?”

  “With no problem, I’ll admit that whole thing was fun, but, it’s not addicting for me like it is for you. That’s not to say I am any better or worse, but it didn’t quite have the same feeling for me.”

  “I get that.” Even in that moment I could feel the sadness in my voice. It was the first time I’d felt down like that in quite some time. I turned my attention back to the road and kept driving. That was how a majority of our ride went for the rest of the day. We stopped off early so she could use a payphone. I watched her from the truck window as she made the call then came back.

  “All settled. They will meet us at a local truck stop the day after tomorrow. I’ll go with them and I won’t be in your hair anymore.”

  I touched the side of her face. “You weren’t ever in my hair. I brought you along because there was something about you that pulled me in. I couldn’t put a finger on it then, and I can’t now. But the fact is, I love you.”

  I watched the tears well up in her eyes. “I love you too.” She reached out and threw her arms around me. I smiled and hugged her as tight as I felt I could. She sat back in the chair and smiled at me.

  “This entire thing has been crazy. I can’t help but say I am grateful to you for showing me the world.”

  “It was all worth it. You were an interesting God send. Thank you for riding with me all this time.”

  She wiped the side of her face off. “We can head out early can’t we?”

  “Yeah, since we stopped off early we can get on the road earlier tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Let’s go grab dinner.”

  I smiled. “I’d like that.”

  We sat there that evening eating and enjoying company. I’ll tell you now, and I’m sorry to my wife and kids, but there wasn’t company I enjoyed more than that woman’s. There was something magical about her, something that made me a better person, or at least want to be a better person.

  Now I could bore you with the semi quiet ride we had going into Ohio but what would be the point. But I want to tell you about what happened when we pulled into the truck stop a couple days later.

  As we pulled into the fuel islands, I saw the car that would pick her up just ahead of us. I shut down the engine and turned to her. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “Yes and No. I want off the road, it’s been great riding with you but with this baby, I don’t want to do it anymore.”

  “Yeah, I understand that."

  “Promise me you’ll be careful and take care of yourself.”

  “I can do that. Can you promise to take care of that kid for us?”

  “Of course.” She began crying again. “You know this isn’t goodbye forever.”

  “I know, but it’s goodbye for now, and now is the only time that matters. It hurts a lot more than I thought it would to let you go.”

  “To think, you wanted to kill me in the beginning.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, it’s weird how things work out isn’t it.”

  “Yeah, a little.” She wiped the tears away again. I leaned in and kissed her cheek first, and then her lips. It felt sweet, savory almost. I helped her out of the truck and watched her as she walked on to the car that sat waiting ahead of us. She got in the car and drove away turning around and waving until they were out of sight.

  ****

  Tom sat there with tears in his eyes. This book got to him more than any other book he’d read in his life. He took a breath trying to clear his nose. He grabbed a tissue and wiped his nose.

  “Holy hell that was moving.”

  Life is interesting so
metimes, sometimes we don’t control the reality we’re faced with.

  Tom sat staring at the book on the table. His mind was full of everything the book had thrown at him. He got up and put the book on the shelf and got out of the house for some fresh air.

  Chapter 37

  Tom had taken time to absorb the section of William’s book he’d read. He realized that even though it was moving; it didn’t outweigh the atrocious life and horrible things that William had done. He sat there looking at the book that sat on the table.

  “I can’t believe I felt that bad. There are dozens of people whose life you ruined. Where’s the justice for them? The tears from random strangers.”

  You’d be surprised how many people have mourned them.

  “You don’t know that.”

  For sure, no, but I can tell you that those whose families cared, they cared a lot.

  Tom stared at the book on the table. In that moment he wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to burn the book, something he’d never done in his life.

  “Are you okay?” Jennifer asked him cutting through the argument.

  Tom snapped out of it. “Yeah, sorry was just thinking.”

  “What do you say we head to bed?”

  “That sounds fantastic.” He got out of the chair and followed her to the bedroom. She put an arm around him. It comforted him enough he fell asleep.

  ****

  He heard the engines purring along in the background. Above him the sun was almost blinding.

  “What the hell is going on?” Ahead of him he saw an open field. In the field he saw a group of people. From where he was they all looked happy, talking, and socializing.

  “Hey! Where are we?” He tried calling to them but no one answered.

  Tom heard the engine getting louder in the background.

  He almost yelled again but changed his mind, instead he walked down the narrow path that led to everyone. As he did, he kept trying to figure out where he was.

  “Who the hell are all the people, and what are they doing out here in the middle of nowhere.”

  He expected the voice in his head to come up with something but all he heard was silence. He walked onward and while he did, he heard the engine getting louder, and louder. Tom turned around and as he did the voice in his head spoke up, it was louder than the engine, almost like God himself was speaking.

  How do you not know what’s going on here? Are you so blinded that it's lost on you? That’s both sad, and disturbing that after all this time, you’re as lost as you were in the beginning.

  Tom stared at the diesel that was barreling ahead and it became clear what was about to happen. He turned and on instinct yelled.

  “Get out of there, get the hell out of there everyone. He'll run you over.”

  No one heard him over the roar of the engine. At the same time Tom realized that it looked like no one even noticed the truck. Tom went to run, but he was frozen in place. The semi came rushing past him, the ground shaking hard under him. He didn’t fall, didn’t even move. The semi passed about ten feet away from him. It was close enough he could feel the wind come off the back of the truck. He turned his attention to the crowd. It was as if time had slowed down. He watched rooted to his spot in horror as the truck sped on.

  All he could do was think God don’t let it happen this way…. Please don’t let it happen this way.

  But he couldn’t stop it. He watched as the truck gained speed. Then it plowed over almost everyone there. Tom noticed a now red river flowing from underneath the truck. The truck pulled to a stop not far from the last body. As it did, all of his strength disappeared and he fell to his knees.

  He reached out in vain trying to find a bit of strength to get back to his feet. It took time, but he made it to the wreckage ahead of him. As he neared the bodies, the truck door opened. Tom stared at the man who climbed down. At first he was confused then the man spoke.

  “What, didn’t expect this?”

  "I…” His voice trailed off.

  Tom stared at the man he’d saw in the mirror. The wrinkles were deeper, but he knew it was the same guy. Tom stared at him in disbelief.

  “What you thought it was all a joke?”

  “I didn’t know…” Tom said. “It can’t be you.”

  “Why can’t it be? Because it’s your dream?”

  “But you’re dead.”

  The man turned and looked at the bodies left in his wake. “Yeah, but they went with me. Tell me, how is it to see your grandpa in the flesh?”

  “You’re not my grandfather, you’re a sad excuse for a human being.”

  A smile spread across William’s face. His eyes lit up. “Wait, I have another surprise for you.” William climbed back into the truck, disappeared for just a few seconds and came back out holding a baby.

  “Guess what I’ve got here. This, this is your unborn child. I’ve been holding onto him for you and I’ve been waiting for just this moment. I didn’t know if, or when, it would ever come but it’s here.”

  Tom stood staring at the man holding the baby. He couldn't bring himself to move.

  “Go ahead, you know you want to hold him.” William held out the baby in front of him. Tom looked at the both of them, not sure what he wanted to do. He felt his muscles taking over. He reached out and went to take the child, but right before he could William dropped the baby. Tom watched in slow motion as he fell. Tom reached out trying to grab him but it was in vain as the child landed almost head first on the ground. He cried for just a second and then it all went quiet. Tom could feel rage inside him.

  “What the hell did you do?” He felt his voice cracking.

  “I did what I needed to do.”

  Tom stared, confused. William walked up. William patted the side of his head. “Everything will be okay now. The world is all yours. All of this…” he motioned to the bodies left under the semi. “Are all yours. Every memory the you’ve learned, all the demon’s, it’s all yours now.” William clapped him on the shoulder and walked back to the truck and fired it up. Tom felt himself frozen. As the truck left out of sight, Tom did the only thing he could think of, scream.

  ****

  Tom woke up to Jennifer shaking him. He took a second before he realized he was awake.

  “You son of a bitch, you killed him goddamn you.” Tom felt himself almost convulsing. Then he felt Jennifer’s hands on his shoulders. She was looking at him.

  “Calm down Tom, calm down, it was a dream.”

  Tom was trying to catch his breath, which wasn’t going back to normal at all. It took what felt like an eternity but he was calming down. When she noticed it she talked again.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I guess it was a nightmare.”

  “What happened?”

  Tom took a few more deep breaths. He looked Jennifer in the eyes. “William, he was holding our unborn son.”

  “William? Like the guy from the book.”

  Tom nodded. “He was holding our son, and I reached out to take him. When I did William dropped him. I watched him land on the ground and crack his skull open and bleed to death. William killed our unborn child.”

  Tom couldn’t explain it but for the first time in years, Jennifer looked at him as if he was the most repulsive man on the planet.

  Chapter 38

  Jennifer stared at him. “What the hell did you say?”

  “William killed our unborn child.”

  She sat for a long time. Her voice was laced with venom when she spoke again. “What the hell do you mean William killed our unborn child. Someone I didn’t even know existed couldn’t have killed something that was never born.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “You! You killed our unborn child! How in the hell do you not remember what you did?”

  It was the first time she had outright blamed him since it had happened. He sat there in a state of shock, and pain. “You know…”

  “You put your hands on me and you pushe
d me; because of you our child died.”

  “I didn’t—”

  “I don’t give a damn what you did, or didn’t mean to do. You caused all the headaches, the sleepless nights, you’ve caused it all.”

  At this point she’d gotten to her feet on the side of the bed. There was a small light that was beaming through the window and in that light Tom saw the look she was giving him. He felt frozen in both fear and sadness.

  “Where is this all coming from?” He asked.

  She walked out of the room. He wasn’t sure where she was going until she came back carrying the leather-bound book in her hands. She almost threw it at him. He watched as it landed on the bed in front him. “This right here, this is where it’s all coming from. Ever since you got this fucking book, you’ve changed. You’ve become someone I don’t even know. Ever since you got back from the last publicity tour, you’ve changed who you are. It’s like watching the self destruction of an addict who doesn’t know he’s an addict.”

  He couldn’t say anything so she went on.

  “You’re angrier, you can’t focus on writing your attitude has changed, and not for the better. You’re having more nightmares, you can’t seem to get your head out of a reality that isn’t real. It’s almost insane how you dove into this book. First, you think you’re hearing voices in your head, then you see him in a mirror, and now you’re convinced HE killed you’re unborn child? How fucking LOST are you!”

  Tom sat still. He didn’t have the words she wanted, and she hated it. “Speak you son of a bitch. Is this what it’s all about, the words. For a man whose made a living with words, you seem rather short on them now.”

  “All I can say is sorry.”

  She walked over and slapped him. He stared at her.

  “What the hell has happened to you.” She reached down and picked up the book from the bed. He watched her. “It’s because of this piece of shit.” She opened it up and grabbed a handful of pages. She ripped them down the middle. It was in that moment something came over him.