Shannon's Daughter

by Karen Welch

  Their subsequent meetings, all family gatherings of some sort, were easier, but there was invariably a moment when one seemed to read the other’s thoughts. The suggestion would pass in a meaningful glance or the innocent brush of hand. He was tempted to test his recovery, but always thought better. Proximity to Peg still stirred his most basic urges. She was a beautiful woman, and he knew the depth and breadth of her passion. Given his current monastic lifestyle, testing would no doubt lead to failure.

  He occasionally heard gossip regarding Peg’s social life, or read her name in connection with a cause she was championing. There were photographs of her on the arm of a noted Broadway tenor, and later he heard they had parted ways. He understood from Patrick that Michael had turned over the reins of the foundation to Peg. No doubt she was happily occupied with what she had once described as her life’s mission. Her greatest claim to fame seemed to be her support of a young violinist named Stani Moss, a teenager who had captured the attention of the world’s classical audiences. In most of his bios, there was some mention of his connection to Peg Shannon and her fundraising efforts on his behalf.

  Life moved rapidly from year to year, filled with a mix of work and pleasure, which for Kendall seemed to both involve music. He admittedly loved his job. The orchestra was his family. The old municipal building where they rehearsed and performed was more a home than his flat. He’d held on to the house in Hertford, vacationing for a few weeks at a time when he could, but he found he had no desire to return to London for more than a day or two, just enough time to visit with his mother, and Reggie and Maeve, but not long enough to revisit too many memories.

  In January of 1971 Eloise was diagnosed with breast cancer. As Reggie explained it to Kendall, little could be done when the obvious had been ignored for so long. By June, Patrick was told she wouldn’t see summer’s end, and after a brief telephone conversation in which little was said but much was understood, Kendall made plans to take a leave-of-absence from his post and do what any dutiful son would do.

  He leased a furnished flat just far enough from his mother’s home, certain he would need privacy to survive the ordeal. He allowed himself time to contact old friends, took in a fair number of concerts and went out to Glyndebourne several times. Each day he called on his mother, sat with her, listening to whatever was on her mind at the moment, ran any errands she could think up to keep him busy. He told himself when all was said and done, he’d be glad they’d had these final weeks together, despite the aching dread with which he greeted each day.

  In mid-July, Maeve informed him that Peg was coming to London for a brief visit. It was all a bit mysterious, she said, but she hoped he didn’t mind that she’d told Peg he was in town.

  “It’s hardly a secret. I suppose she knows about Mother.”

  “Yes. But she said something about being on a mission for her father. He’s been quite ill, you know. And she also said your being here would save her a trip to Ireland. She’s going to Dublin though, to see Agnes, so I’m not sure what she meant by that.”

  He didn’t give it a great deal of thought. It was unlikely they’d meet up unless she paid his mother a visit. By the time he received her note, hand-delivered from Brown’s, asking if he had time to see her, he’d almost forgotten she was expected. Tea, she said. He wasn’t sure if that meant in the hotel’s restaurant or her suite, but he wrote back agreeing to the day and time she’d suggested.

  The desk clerk informed him that Miss Shannon was expecting him. When he looked toward the lobby and the restaurant beyond, the clerk said subtly, “She asked that you go straight up, sir,” and gave him the room number on a slip of paper.

  A quick ride up in the elevator and he was standing at a door which seemed as familiar as if only yesterday he’d paid his last visit here. He half-expected Alice to open the door. He took the ceremonial moment, straightening his jacket and running a hand over his hair. Seeing Peg at a Shannon family gathering was one thing. Meeting her in a suite at Brown’s was another entirely.

  Peg seemed relieved when he instantly took her by the shoulders and dropped a kiss on her cheek. “How are you, brat?”

  “I’m fine. More to the point, how are you? I’m so sorry about your mother.”

  “Thank you. I’m holding up. What brings you to England?” Better to get to the point, avoid too much small talk.

  “Business. And a little pleasure. I’m going up to Dublin to spend a week with Agnes.”

  “You and Aggie have become real friends, haven’t you?” He took one of the armchairs while Peg perched on the edge of the couch. “She told me all about her trip to New York.”

  “She’s really a lot of fun. I’m trying to convince her to stop working so hard and enjoy life while she can.”

  He chuckled. “Aggie and fun are not terribly well-acquainted, at least the way she tells it.”

  They both paused, paying homage to the awkwardness lurking beneath the surface.

  “I took the liberty of ordering tea. I thought it might make this easier.” Peg’s voice lost its forced brightness and she looked down at her hands with a little scowl, as though she’d never seen them before.

  “Tea usually does, make things easier, that is. Want to tell me what this is all about, or should we wait for the tea?”

  “Let’s wait. Tell me about Ireland. You’re doing wonderful things up there, I hear.”

  “It’s gone well. So well I’m actually thinking about turning it over to someone else in another year or so.”

  “What will you do next?”

  “Not sure.” He hesitated. Why not tell her? She would likely be happy for him. “Actually, that isn’t quite true. I’m planning to get married. We would have done it this year, but with Mother’s situation, we decided to hold off. Kate, that’s my fiancée, would like a big wedding, and we didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on Mum.”

  “Congratulations! Tell me about her. How did you meet?” She settled back on the cushions, a look of sincere pleasure on her face. He was momentarily caught off guard by just how lovely she was, with her eyes shining and those luscious lips spread in a smile, and forced himself to look away.

  “Funny, that’s what everyone asks, as though it’s a miracle I had time to meet someone. In fact, we met at a rehearsal. I walked in, looked over at the cellos, met the clearest pair of green eyes I’d ever seen and dropped my baton. Kate was filling in for one of my regular cellists, and apparently she decided that very morning that we were meant to be.” Now he was the one examining his hands, embarrassed at the wonder that crept into his voice whenever he talked about Kate.

  “That’s wonderful! You got your happily ever after.”

  “So it seems. Amazingly, she doesn’t think I’m too old. Kate is only twenty-five.”

  “Age isn’t important.”

  Silence again. He searched for something to fill it and came up with a sudden inspiration. “I had the opportunity to see your boy last spring.”

  “My boy?”

  “Stani Moss. I’d never had the pleasure. I know you had a hand in getting his career started.”

  “Yes.” Peg’s voice dropped along with her gaze. “He’s getting married, too, you know?”

  “I did read something about that, come to think of it.” Unable to decipher her sudden shift in mood, he waited.

  “I made a terrible mistake with Stani.”

  Her voice was so soft he thought he’d misunderstood. “What?”

  “I’d like to say it was all your fault, but that wouldn’t be fair.”

  “What sort of mistake are we talking about? He’s brilliant. Surely you don’t regret backing him?”

  “Oh, no. My mistake was more personal.”

  He knew instinctively from her tone, the image springing to mind with an unpleasant jolt. “But he’s just a kid. Surly you’re not saying. . .”

  “He was eighteen. The same age I was when we started out. But I should never have let things go that far. I was lonely, and he was
such a sweet boy. I’m afraid I fell in love with him before I realized what I was doing. I told myself there was no harm, that you and I had something wonderful for all those years. But Stani didn’t need me, not the way we needed each other back then.”

  He wanted to reach out to her, but resisted. “You got your heart broken, didn’t you, brat?”

  “I did. Not that he’ll ever know it. All that aside, we’re good friends. And he needs me in other ways. Life goes on.”

  “Yes, it does. I’m sorry you got hurt. I know what that’s like.”

  She grimaced and then flashed him a smile that said all was forgiven. “I deserve that. I just can’t seem to get it right.”

  “There’ll be someone. If I’m any example, when you least expect it.”

  “There is someone, actually. But it’s complicated. He’s a friend of Stani’s.”

  “Another youngster?”

  “No. John is older, even older than you.”

  “Ouch. So how is it complicated, if I’m not prying?”

  “He knows all about my affair with Stani. He says it doesn’t bother him, but I’m not so sure. I think I frighten him or make him uncomfortable.” She shrugged, shaking her head. “I’m not sure, but I think he could be the one, if circumstances were different.”

  “Don’t give up too easily.”

  When she looked up, her eyes widened slowly, until he knew she understood what he’d never meant to tell her. “Is that what you think, that you gave up too easily on us?”

  “I wondered for a long time. But now I know it would never have worked, no matter how much time we gave it.”

  “And do you know exactly why? I’ve never really been able to figure it out.”

  He smiled at her quizzical frown, for a moment seeing the Peg who had won his heart without even trying. “I think so. It could have worked, but only if we’d been two different people, born in different places under different circumstances. We had the right chemistry, but nothing else seemed to fit. I made the mistake of believing I could force things.”

  “I think it was mainly my fault. I was so sure I’d fail, I wasn’t willing to try. I guess I thought it was safer to keep what we had than risk losing everything, and I still ended up losing you.”

  “You never really lost me, Peg. But I couldn’t settle for just having you part time. It’s better this way.”

  “Easy for you to say. You found Kate.”

  “And you found. . .John, is it? Don’t be afraid to take the risk this time. Life’s too short to pass up taking a run at happily ever after, at least once.”

  The arrival of room service with the tea cart put a proper end to the subject. For a time, they talked of family and work. The longer they sat together, the more Kendall was reminded of other times and places, until he knew if he didn’t leave soon, leaving would be out of the question. The signals were there. The seemingly accidental touch, laughter that came with increasing ease, and gazes that connected for longer than necessary. He was not completely immune, he realized. Trying to keep the image of Kate’s face in his mind’s eye, he acknowledged what he had known all along. Love her as he did, Peg was the only woman he’d ever been in love with, a condition one apparently never fully recovered from.

  “I should be going. I promised Mother I’d hunt down a book for her, one that I suspect is out of print.” He made it to his feet, telling himself there was no point in delaying further and every reason to get out while he could.

  “Should I visit? I was afraid it might upset her. Every time we meet now I sense she resents me more than ever.” Peg stood too, bringing them practically toe to toe.

  “I think she might prefer to leave things as they are. Her vanity is fragile now. She says she hates the thought of being remembered this way. Maybe some flowers?”

  “All right.” She reached up, touching his temple. “I like the silver wings. Very distinguished.” Her fingertips were cool, lingering at the side of his face. Unconsciously, he raised his hand, covering hers and pressing it to his cheek.

  “Peg, I meant what I said earlier. You’ll always have a large part of my heart. But please don’t take advantage of that. It’s been too long.”

  Dropping her hand, she turned away. “I know. It’s just that you know me better than anyone in the world. You’re the only person I’ve ever been completely myself with.”

  There’s was nothing conscious about his next move. His arms opened to her instinctively, and when she took the single step toward him, there was nothing to do but kiss her. He was struck by the fact that she still tasted the same, still made that low, husky sound against his lips. Her hands set off the same nerves as they slid up his chest and around his neck. The years had failed to lessen his physical or emotional response to her. He was rapidly becoming aroused, while at the same time tears tightened his throat.

  Peg broke the kiss, burying her face against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why?”

  “You didn’t come here for this.”

  Taking a deep breath in the attempt to steady his reeling senses, he rested his cheek on her hair. “What did I come for? I can’t seem to remember?”

  Slowly, she withdrew and walked to the desk across the room. “I have something for you. From Dad. He made me promise to give it to you in person.” She held out an envelope. “He thinks a lot about settling his accounts these days.”

  Moving closer, he took the envelope, turning it over in his hands just to have something to do. “How is he? I heard. . .”

  “That he’s dying? His cardiologist says there’s no excuse for him to still be alive. I think he’s hoping to make it to Christmas. He keeps talking about coming home to New York for one more Christmas, but I doubt he’ll be able to make the trip. He’s been in Florida for over a year now, since his last bad episode.” Her voice trailed off as she watched him open the letter. “What is it?”

  “Another stock certificate. He’s been sending them at least once a year since we split up.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “It goes back to my visit to Palm Beach. Remember, we had lunch one day and he gave me the first of these? He told me then he knew I’d keep his secret, no matter what happened between us, and he intended to reward what he called my integrity by making me a major shareholder in the bank. Of course at the time he expected us to end up married. After we called things off, he wrote to me, assuring me that he always kept his promises. Every six months or so, I’ve gotten one of these.”

  “You should have quite a percentage by now.”

  “I signed them over to the orchestra. After the first time I tried to return them and he accused me of insulting him, I figured that was the best way to handle things.” Tucking the paper in his jacket pocket, he took another step closer. “Why would he insist on you delivering this one? He could have mailed it like all the others.”

  At the sad smile in her eyes, his throat tightened again. “I suppose he wanted to give us one last chance. He knows how much I’ve missed you. And he’s worried about my being alone once he’s gone.” Her voice broke and she dropped her head, turning her back on him.

  “Peg.” Laying his hands on her shoulders, he whispered into her hair, “What can I say?”

  “Nothing.” Lifting her head, she brought herself under control. “No, that isn’t quite true. You could say you’ll still be my friend.”

  “You know I will. But I’m not sure how that really helps you.”

  “Just trust me when I say it does. I know a lot of people, but very few of them are my friends. And even fewer really know who I am.”

  “Their loss.”

  She turned back to him, an uncertain smile on her lips. “Have you told Kate about me?”

  “Yes. I’m determined not to have any secrets this time. She even knows about Jenny.”

  “I’m glad. I wish I could be that honest. I keep everything in here.” She laid a hand over her heart. “I haven’t found anyone I trust that much.”


  Tears stung his eyes. As in every other moment Peg had seemed in need, he felt the overwhelming urge to respond. If he gave in now, he’d lose everything he’d gained in the past eight years and everything he stood to gain in the future. Reaching for her, he gathered her gently to him and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

  “I have to go, sweetheart. We both know I don’t want to, but staying would be a huge mistake.”

  “Yes. And I’ve made enough of those. Take care of yourself.”

  “You too.”

  Dropping his arms, he made it to the door before turning back for one last look. “I meant what I said, Peg. You still have the best part of my heart.”

  Head high, she smiled, a single tear glistening on her cheek. “Always and forever?”

  “And beyond.”

  About the Author

  Karen Welch was born in Richmond, Virginia and grew up in nearby Amelia County. After a twenty year sojourn in North Florida, she now lives in Southeast Kansas with husband John, and children and grandchildren nearby.

  Contact Karen at welchkaren@yahoo.com, “friend” her on Facebook at Author Karen Welch and follow her at www.facebook/KarenWelch for updates on the Miracle at Valley Rise Series. You can also follow her blog Lost in the Plains at valley rise.blogspot.com.

  Books by Karen Welch—available in ebook and paperback from Amazon.com

  Hearts Unfold

  Entreat Me Not

  Heart of My Own Heart

  Offered for Love

  Christmas at Valley Rise

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Foreword

  County Carlow, Ireland— 1949

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five