Born Into Trouble (Occupy Yourself Book 1)

by MariaLisa deMora

  More was needed. “I had a chat with Mason a few months ago.” It felt odd to characterize the nearly one-sided conversation as a chat, but he still couldn’t pass Mason’s words on to his brother. Not now, not ever. Or at least not the entirety of the conversation. “He said something that stuck with me. Blood makes me a relative.” Slate grinned, apparently he knew the other end of the statement, but Benny forged on anyway. “Loyalty makes me family. Your brother. I haven’t earned that. Not yet. But I’m trying. I am. Swear, I am. Every day. Every meeting. Every breath I take sober, I do it for me. For you. For everyone I love.” He gestured towards the hospital room. “Everyone. Even the little peanuts I haven’t yet met. Every day. One step at a time.”

  “Fuckin’ proud of you.” Intensity back in his voice, Slate reached up and gripped his shoulder, shaking him back and forth in place. Then he blew out a hard breath. “We’re done with this topic. You’re doing good, shrimp. Love you, man. You’re right. Put it behind you, behind us, move forwards.” He reached out, pushed the door open wide, and called out softly, “Baby, got a visitor wants to meet Allen and Dani.”

  Benny peered inside to see a sleepy Ruby lifting her head from the pillow, staring at them groggily before looking around. Her face softened when she saw the babies sleeping peacefully. “Don’t wake ‘em.” Her words were slurred from exhaustion, not meds, and Benny knew by her unclouded eyes, barely suppressing a shudder of relief for something he didn’t know had worried him. Everywhere I look. “’S tiring stuff, being born.” With awe in her voice, she told Benny, “I’m a mommy, Ben.”

  “Yeah, you are, Rubes. A beautiful mommy.” Leaning in, he brushed her cheek with a kiss. “Most beautiful one I’ve ever seen.”

  ***

  Benny was walking towards the elevator when he recognized Eddie in the hallway. She was being escorted by a big biker wearing a Rebel patch, his arm around her waist, hustling her along. Luce had been busy babysitting a lot over the past couple of weeks as Bear took a trip out east, but he hadn’t heard about anyone being hurt or sick, certainly nothing that would give him an inkling of why they were rushing around in the hospital. Shit.

  “Eddie,” he called, but they turned the corner before he could catch up. Forcing his legs to long strides, he startled when a hand gripped his arm, pulling him to a stop. Swinging around to berate whoever it was, he stopped short when he recognized Mason. Shit.

  “Bear’s out of surgery,” Mason said, walking fast and pulling him up the hallway in the same direction Eddie had gone. “He was bad when we left Cali.”

  Surgery? Cali? California? What the hell, he was out east, not on the west coast. Benny held his tongue, instinctively letting Mason say what he needed to, impatiently waiting until the end to voice his questions. Trusting he would tell him. After what Mason had said to him, the loyalty he’d witnessed time and again, he did trust Mason.

  Benny had found out just what kind of man Mason was in a conversation with Slate before the wedding. Learned how fate had brought his brother to a bar in Chicago at a time when he needed something to believe in, someone in whom he could place his trust and faith. Found out in a way that cut deeply how Mason had been the only person in his life that Slate could lean on with full knowledge that the support would always be there. Unwavering. Love so deep, Mason would take it on himself to tear away a parasite like Benny when Mason saw the pain being inflicted on a man he called brother. Loyalty makes you family.

  “Worse when we landed. Doc rushed him out of the ER and into surgery about three hours ago.” They turned the corner, and he saw a large cluster of black leather in the hallway outside what looked like a waiting room ahead.

  “Luce…she’s holdin’ it together. Barely. Needs a strong shoulder right now.” Why didn’t she call me? Mason pulled him to a halt, looking down into Benny’s face, seeming to search for something. Finally, he found it and pulled in a deep breath. “Trusting you to do this right, brother.” At that word from Mason, he froze in place. Instinctively he knew it meant something, even if he wasn’t sure he fully understood Mason’s use of it now. Loyalty. “Trusting you to do her right. You take care of her, Ben. She needs you.”

  Stepping back, Mason gave him a shove towards the room. “I need to go back, be there for Slate. For Ruby.” Shaking his head, Mason closed his eyes for a moment. “Fucking lies. I need to be there for me, see the promise of goodness born today. See the joy in our brother’s eyes. Need that.” Pointing up the hallway, he gave Benny’s shoulder a push. “Go find what you need, Ben.”

  Quick steps taking him the rest of the way, he paused in the doorway, seeing Maggie holding Eddie, both women crying, but in what seemed like relief rather than sorrow. Taking a swift look around the room, he caught sight of Luce at the same time she saw him, and he stood stock-still because the moment she laid eyes on him, she was on the move, running to him. Long legs eating up the short distance, still she gained speed with every stride until suddenly she was there, right there, in his arms, hers wrapped around his neck, her face buried in his shoulder. Folding herself around him, even as he wrapped her up, feeling the sobs shaking her frame. “I got you, honey. I got you.”

  It was hours later when Eddie finally walked out of ICU. Lips curled in a small smile, arms wrapped around herself. She was bruised and battered, looking like she’d been days without sleep. Through listening in on the conversations swirling around him as they waited for word, Ben had found out she’d been kidnapped and taken to California. Bear, Mason, and a bunch of the Rebels flew out and organized what sounded like a recovery mission coordinated with the Navy and local cops. Benny shook his head again, thinking about how absurd it was to imagine the bikers being avenging angels. Black leather riding to the rescue. And how bizarre, Ruby and Eddie, how many people know two individuals who have been kidnapped?

  Arm around Luce’s shoulders, he pulled her to her feet, steadying her as she swayed in place facing Eddie. The boys had headed home with Maggie a couple hours ago; even Rafe so tired he hadn’t argued.

  “Doc says he’s out of the woods. They’re going to keep him sedated for a while, so he can get past what will be the worst of the pain. They want to make sure his lung stays inflated.” She held a hand out, palm up, and one of the bikers gripped it, holding on tightly. “He’s going to be okay.”

  Luce turned and buried her face against Benny’s chest, shoulders shaking as she wept. Benny felt muscles all over her body beginning to loosen and relax as she leaned into him. He waited until her tears slowed before asking, “Ready to go home, honey?” She nodded, and he turned her, pointing her first towards Eddie where she got a long, close hug, the easy affection between the two women a clear indication of how deeply they had bonded.

  Benny reached across once they were in the car, gathering up Luce’s hand and pulling it over to rest on top of his leg. “You okay, honey?” From the corner of his eye, he caught the movement as she shook her head. “He’s gonna be okay, right?” A nod, her hair rustling across the collar of her shirt. “Wanna talk about it?” Back-and-forth her head went—a definite no. “Okay. We can be quiet if you’d like.” In response, her hand squeezed his tightly, silently conveying her thanks.

  He pulled off to the side of the road in front of Bear’s new house, seeing there were a few lights still on in the bottom level of the house. The location meant the living room, so it was probably Maggie. He held Luce’s hand while they moved up the walk, and opened the door as she called a soft greeting to the silent house. Maggie appeared in the doorway to the large living room, a smile on her face. “Eddie called,” she said right away, letting Luce know she didn’t have to do a debrief, and he smiled his thanks at her. She asked, “Want something to eat before you hit the hay?”

  Luce shook her head, letting go of Benny’s hand to move forward and embrace the woman. Resting her cheek against Maggie’s, she stayed there a moment, both women holding tightly. When they released each other, Benny slipped his palm around Luce’s hip, tugging her
backwards so she could lean against him. “Let’s get you to bed,” he said softly, and she nodded. Trudging up the stairs, he let her lead the way. The Crews hadn’t lived there long, and he’d never had occasion to see her bedroom, so other than it being upstairs, wasn’t sure where they were headed.

  She passed three closed doors before opening the next one on the left, not pausing as she pulled him inside. He froze when she shut the door firmly behind him, but she didn’t even glance at him, moving to put her purse down. Using her toes to push off her sneakers, she gently kicked the discarded footwear to the side and then, with a huge sigh, dropped to the end of the bed, falling to her back, hair swirling around her head. Arms outstretched, she was staring up at the ceiling, and Benny was left standing awkwardly by the door.

  “He’s a good man.” These were the first words she’d spoken since before leaving the hospital, and the sound of her voice startled him. There was sorrow and sadness weighing down every word. “A genuinely good man. Honorable. Kind. Decent. Everything a father should be. Look at all the things he’s done for the boys and me.” Her head rolled on the light-colored comforter, and she looked at him. “You don’t know what it was like before he came into our lives. Papa wasn’t home a lot, and he…well, his focus wasn’t on us, most of the time. We lived in a cockroach-infested apartment complex where we had to sleep on the floor if the weather was good.” He must have looked confused because she laughed and rolled up to one elbow, curling her legs up onto the bed.

  “If the weather was nice, it meant the men would be outside. Them being out of their apartments meant a chance of stupidity in the form of fights.” She yawned, eyes closing as she hid her mouth behind one delicate hand. “Fights meant guns. Bullets don’t care where they go. You point a gun, the bullet leaves it in a rush, and finds whatever target is in front of it.” She changed position again, moving to her back, heels to the bed, tucked up against her ass.

  “So we slept below the line of fire. Drug dealers, pimps and whores, fights, murders—we saw it all. I kept my head down, didn’t make waves, tried to be invisible as much as I could.” She yawned again, relaxing even as Benny grew more tense with every word. He had no idea what her life was like before he met her, hadn’t asked even though he knew about her dad. “I escaped as often as I could, which wasn’t enough. Went through a wild-child phase.” Blinking slowly, she continued, “Rafe had the worst of it, since if Papa was gone, he had to put up with me.” Glancing at him, a brief smile curled her lips. “I’m a bossy one.”

  “Nah, you’re just right most of the time. The boys hate that. Lucia’s righteous rightness.” He pushed away from the door, taking the four steps to bring him to the edge of the bed. Squatting next to her, he lifted a hand and brushed strands of hair back off her face, threading the silk between his fingers. “You communicate forcefully.” Cupping her cheek in his palm, he felt her skin heating under his hands and saw the darkening of a blush coloring her skin. “Beautiful orator, you could be a senator or something. You don’t argue. You convince people of your ideas. Be anything you want to be.”

  “I’m tired.” Her eyes didn’t blink, didn’t waver as she gazed at him. “I don’t want to be alone tonight, Benny. I don’t want to think about the past, don’t want to think about tonight. Don’t want to think about what we nearly lost, the boys and me.”

  “I’ll stay, honey.” An immediate response held his hopes she would know he wanted to be here for her. “Of course. I’m here.” He wanted to reassure but wasn’t certain how to say what he was thinking. “If I can hold you.” Thumb brushing across her bottom lip, he stayed locked on her eyes. Danger. “Help to make it better. I’m here.”

  This was a bone of contention between them. As their friendship had developed, so had the attraction, grown stronger every day. He wanted her, God yes, but wanted to take it slowly. For her. For him. Because Doc told him not to start something. Because she’d already seen him fail.

  So he took it slowly. So slowly it was killing him, and Benny had to work hard at ignoring the signs she kept tossing his way, shouting she wanted things to go faster. He'd kissed her until they'd been both gasping, teetering on the edge of losing control before reeling himself back. In an embrace, he'd found his hand sliding up her side of its own accord, thumb grazing across the bottom curve of her lush breast, heard the hitch in her breath when she'd felt that touch, knowing she’d give him that when he was inside her for the first time. Wanting her with every breath he took…denying himself, denying her.

  On a late night call, in a whisper she’d admitted she wasn’t a virgin, something he hadn’t been certain about. Shyly, as she did often, she asked in a mix of broken English and Spanish if he could still want her. Benny’d spent the next hour soothing and convincing her that not only did he still want her, he wanted to be something important in her life, wanted to be someone she needed.

  The next time they'd been alone in her room, he'd taken things farther, touching her intimately for the first time. He'd worked up to it, starting with sweet kisses, nipping at her plump lips, drawing the crimson to the surface. Hand to the inside of her knee, he'd lifted, bringing her thigh up to press against his rock-hard cock, slipping his palm to cover her, he'd eaten her gasp down with a rough, demanding kiss.

  She’d opened for him beautifully, moaned into his mouth as he'd worked his hand, bringing her to orgasm. Felt like a king as he cradled her afterwards, ignoring his too eager cock, losing himself in the whispering sighs she'd given him.

  God, he wanted her, wanted to be between her legs, wanted to work her over with his mouth, taking everything she had to give. But he’d never felt like this about a woman before. Not Benita, maybe especially not Benita. He could finally see how fucked–up that relationship was from the beginning.

  Lucia was…different, special, and he wanted her to know how exceptional she was, wanted her to understand what she meant to him. More than a way to get off, so much more than that. From the first time he saw her, he knew she was special, meant something, and every glimpse and interaction since firmly reinforced the knowledge.

  Over dinners with her family, he’d watched as she effortlessly managed the tempers and needs of her brothers, helping balance everything Eddie and Bear did for the boys. She took on anything asked of her with a smile and happy heart, glad when she could make a difference. Happy when she was needed. That’s what I have to do, he realized, make sure she knows how much I need her. More than just someone to have sex with, so much more. Instead, she might hold the key to the rest of his life.

  “Lucia,” his voice was soft when he called her name. “I want…” He trailed off. There were no words for the want coursing through him when she looked at him like that. As if he were the most important thing in her world. “Get ready for bed, honey.” Pushing to his feet, he stood, looking down at her. “I’ll be here.”

  ***

  Lying in bed beside her, comforting her…torturing himself, he lifted the arm not curled around her waist so he could push his fingers through her hair. Sliding like silk across his skin, he smiled at the ceiling, knowing the darkness masked his expression. She fit him perfectly. Curved into him as she was, even with the covers between them, she had crowded as close as she could. Soft breasts pressed firmly against his side, covers tugged up, she had one leg on the outside, knee resting across his thigh. Her arm firmly tucked around his belly, head resting on his chest, Luce was still, but her light, even breathing told him she wasn’t sleeping.

  “Gypsy asked me to play Marie’s.” He took a breath, feeling his stomach dip and sway at the thought of taking the stage again. There, of all places. “I’m thinking about it.” Luce knew his fears, knew nearly everything that had happened to him since he got to Fort Wayne. Even knew some of the family drama that happened in Enoch, and then various parts of his years with the band. Not everything. Hell, no. He couldn’t burden her with shit that horrendous. Shit like his life had been.

  “You should do it, Benjamin.” Her
breath gusted across his skin. With thoughts about having her hands on him, he’d shucked the shirt before lying down. But, in what he now knew was a wise move, knowing the temptation she would present, he’d kept his jeans on and was lying on top of the comforter. Double barrier to paradise, and even now she was all he could think about. “I bet if you get the first show out of the way—boom—you’ll be right back to where you were.”

  Not a chance of that happening. Losing their manager and two key members left the band down not only in numbers, but talent. Chase was learning fast. He was determined to master the guitar, and in playing with him, Benny had found he could carry a pleasing harmony. When Benny had mentioned performing, however, the kid had looked sick to his stomach even more than Benny felt. Fine group we’d make, puke buckets to either side of the stage for the nervy musicians.

  “We’ve lost nearly everything.” Radio airtime, online rankings, fan base—all the work it took to keep a band in front of the public eye—gone. They’d be starting from scratch when they relaunched. Vic had never toured with them. Meant he was an unknown as far as their fans went. He was good and so charismatic he’d win them over, but an unknown for now. Mitty would be back; Benny had faith, but he wasn’t core. Not like Danny had been. Danny and Benny had always been the public face of the band. Now just me.

  “No, you haven’t.” She sounded so certain of herself he couldn’t stop the laugh from escaping. She didn’t know, not really. “Benny, stop it. You haven’t lost anything.” Lifting her head, she stared at him, and even in the dark he could tell her eyes were fixed on his face. She raised the hand tucked around his side, bringing her palm up to place it over the center of his chest. Patting softly, she said, “The music is in here. You haven’t lost that.”