The Real Deal

by Debbi Rawlins

  “There you go, using those fancy words again.”

  She issued a soft laugh, sniffing at the same time, and stopped struggling. She turned to look at him with sad eyes. “You can always go back to school. You know that, right?”

  Nick frowned at her. “I was kidding about the fancy words.”

  “I know. I’m just saying that it’s never too late. You can be whoever you want to be.”

  His hold on her arms tightened. “Could you? Could you be comfortable in New York? With all the crowds, and all the mess? Could you deal with the paparazzi and the fans?”

  “It’s not the same thing. Besides, I told you. I’m a homebody. I like my life. It’s great just the way it is.”

  He released her then, and she felt her stomach drop. “Nick.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “You’re the most content person I’ve ever met. And you’re right about me, too. I have all the opportunities in the world.”

  “I didn’t mean to…”

  He shook his head and stepped farther away. Inhaling deeply, he ordered himself to keep cool. She would be leaving soon. No need to end this badly. “Let’s just—I’ll go get coffee.” He walked out of the bedroom, not trusting himself to say more.

  He liked Emily. Maybe too much. Was that the problem? No, he just needed space right now. He needed to focus on the game. Damn it, he was determined to stay in the game, to maximize the life he had now. But it struck him that the six days he’d spent with her was more time than he’d spent with any woman in a single stretch. Even Kara, the Swedish model he’d dated for nearly two years. Between their tight schedules, they’d had only one uninterrupted four-day getaway; ironically, a month later they broke off the relationship. It was better for both of them if Emily went home and got back to her life.

  Nick stayed in the kitchen, lingering over a cup of coffee far longer than he should have. He’d half expected her to come looking for him, but she’d stayed in the bedroom. By the time he took the coffeepot to warm up her cup, the bathroom door was closed and he heard the shower running.

  THEY LEFT FOR THE AIRPORT EARLY. Emily had requested they do so, and Nick hadn’t argued. Hanging around the apartment had been too tense, the silence that had stretched between them was as thick as butter. He’d called the service for a car and driver, specifically demanded that Tony not be called back from his time off, or be notified, period. Nick had a feeling that after he dropped her off, he wouldn’t feel like talking to anyone.

  The Town Car pulled to the curb, and after the driver removed her luggage from the trunk, Nick told him to park and he’d call when he was ready to head back to his apartment.

  Emily gave him a startled look. “You don’t have to walk me inside,” she said. “Without a ticket, you can’t get past security, anyway.”

  He picked up her bags and started toward the two uniformed skycaps. “A guy might think you’re trying to get rid of him.”

  She smiled at having her words thrown back at her, but the sparkle in her eyes was gone. “Seriously, once I get to my gate I’ll just sit with a cup of coffee and read.” She shrugged. “I appreciate the ride here.”

  He dropped the bags and pulled her into his arms. “Ah, Emily, this isn’t how today was supposed to go.”

  “I know,” she murmured softly and drew back when the skycap approached to check her luggage. “It was going to be hard no matter which way you looked at it. For me, anyway.”

  “Me, too.”

  She looked as if she didn’t quite believe him. Or maybe he imagined it because he felt like shit while he stood helplessly watching her get out her ticket and driver’s license for the skycap.

  The older man idly glanced over at Nick as he waited for Emily, did a double take and gave Nick a big grin. “Nice job with the Series, Nicky.”

  “Thanks.” He gave the man a tip before Emily could get into her wallet, which netted him a disapproving glare from her. Made him smile. The woman knew her mind, that was for sure. If she didn’t like something, she wasn’t afraid to speak up or show her displeasure.

  She finished with the skycap, got out of the way so that the people behind them could check in and then turned tentatively toward Nick. “Well, I guess this is it.”

  His chest tightened. She really wanted him to leave. “You still have three hours before your plane takes off.”

  She smiled sadly. “I know.”

  “Okay.” He rubbed the back of his neck, amazed that he was at a loss for words, more amazed at the lump that had formed in his throat. “I’m going to head for Louisiana soon.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  “Spring training will be starting before I know it.”

  Her gaze roamed his face, settled briefly on his mouth. “Kiss me goodbye, Nick.”

  Panic seized him. “You’re acting like we’re never going to see each other again.” He paused, even more panicked that he couldn’t read her blank expression. Why wouldn’t she say anything? “You’ll come to some of my games, won’t you?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Good. I’ll make arrangements when the time comes. You’ll have to tell me when it’s good for you.”

  She smiled tightly, nodded and then got up on tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. Briefly. Too briefly. He tried to put his arms around her, but just then a couple of kids in NYU T-shirts walked up to them, butting Emily out of their way. Emily gasped, and Nick wanted to punch the two of them in the face. Instead, he said, “I think you owe the lady an apology.” There was no doubt these idiots had heard the fire in his voice.

  They backed away, looking more frightened than apologetic. “Sorry, ma’am,” one said. The other lifted a notebook and pen with a hopeful look.

  Nick elbowed the kids aside, wrapped his arm around Emily’s shoulder and hurried her inside the terminal to a corner where his back was to the crowd. “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “Right,” he said.

  “I’ll never forget you,” she whispered, her eyes glassy. “You’re the best vacation I ever had.”

  She smiled at him, but it didn’t touch her eyes. “Goodbye, Nick. Be well. Be happy.”

  Nick couldn’t move. He stood frozen, his heart beating erratically as he watched her disappear into the airport crowd. What the hell had just happened? One second they were discussing her coming to a game, and the next, those two morons.

  Discussed? They hadn’t discussed a damn thing. Because he’d been too big a coward. Just like he had been about seeing Billy. Emily hadn’t believed one word Nick had said about them seeing each other again. She knew he wasn’t big on follow-through. But he had meant it, hadn’t he? She was smart, funny, gorgeous and opinionated as hell, but he needed that. He needed someone who wasn’t afraid to stand up to him.

  Even if they just stayed friends…

  Would that be enough? For either of them?

  Nick shook his head. To think he’d felt pity for Billy because his friend was no longer whole. Nick was the one to be pitied. He was the one who wasn’t whole. Never in his life had he felt so alone as he did right now. And it was his own damn spineless fault.

  SIGHING, EMILY STARED at the Christmas tree, aware that something was missing but unable to pinpoint the problem. Part of it was that she just didn’t have her usual passion for decorating this year. Everyone had been appalled when two weeks after she’d returned from New York she still hadn’t put up the tree. And now, four days until Christmas and her shopping still wasn’t finished.

  “Where’s the angel?” Pam had snuck up behind her.

  Ah, the angel. “I didn’t hear you come in,” Emily said. “Did you just get here?”

  Pam nodded and slipped her arm around Emily’s shoulders. “The place looks nice, Emily.”

  She laughed. Only half the normal decorations were up in the family room. None anywhere else. “You’re such a liar.”

  “No, really. I’m getting a drink, you want one?”

&n
bsp; “Sure. Why not?”

  Pam’s eyebrows went up, but she said nothing. No sarcasm, no smart remark about Emily’s gray sweats or fuzzy pink slippers. She simply walked to the bar. “Denise is here, too.”

  Emily wanted to scream. Bad enough she’d been in a funk for three weeks, but her mother and sisters’ hovering was going to make her totally crazy. They suspected her slump was about the guy she’d met on vacation, but she’d refused to tell them about Nick. To their credit, they hadn’t pushed. They just kept being overly nice and getting in her way too much.

  Sometimes she wanted to explain that it wasn’t all bad. She’d learned a lot about herself by venturing out of her comfort zone. Ironically, she’d discovered that she liked her simple life. She loved books and being close to her family, even though they drove her crazy. She liked knowing they could count on her, and that when her nieces kissed their first boys, they would be comfortable enough to tell their Aunt Emily.

  But she’d also made a decision. As much as she loved her family, it was time for her to take a step back. To get a place of her own. She’d find a house nearby, but definitely not here. As soon as the holidays were over, she’d tell them. No use causing a ruckus until then.

  Besides, she’d already put a damper on things, but she couldn’t help it. She missed Nick. No, that was oversimplifying the problem. Her heart was broken. Shattered like she could never have imagined. It was crazy, stupid, ridiculous. She hadn’t known him long enough to have fallen so hard. Had to be the extraordinary sex that had gotten to her, that’s what she really missed. Not him personally.

  Right.

  She took a deep breath and prayed the sudden gloom would ease. It was almost Christmas, a happy time. Her moping around wasn’t fair to anyone.

  “Here’s your drink.” Pam smiled gently as she passed Emily a half glass of wine. “We were thinking we’d all wrap presents together. Mom, too. How does that sound?”

  “The presents.” Emily groaned. “I’m sorry. I should’ve had them done already.”

  Denise entered the family room, her arms loaded with rolls of colorful wrapping paper and spools of ribbon. “Not your responsibility. Besides, it’ll be fun to do it all together.”

  Emily sighed. For that she definitely needed more wine.

  The doorbell rang, and she set down her glass. “Probably UPS with the rest of the gifts I ordered for the kids.”

  “I’ll get it.” Pam got to the door first, opened it and then stood there, jaw slack, eyes wide. “May I help you?”

  “I’m looking for Emily Carter.”

  She heard his voice and the air fled her lungs. She wasn’t imagining Nick’s voice, either, not with that look on Pam’s face.

  Denise joined Pam at the door and shrieked. “You’re Nick Corrigan. Oh, my God. Are you…you can’t be the one—”

  “He wants Emily,” Pam said weakly, exchanging an incredulous glance with Denise.

  She couldn’t do it to him anymore. She had to save him, even though she couldn’t be sure her knees would hold out. Emily ushered her sisters aside. “Nick, what a surprise.”

  He hadn’t gotten a haircut since she’d seen him, and he wore jeans and a leather jacket. He looked so damn good it made her chest ache. “I know I shouldn’t have shown up unannounced,” he said, the uncertainty in his voice warming her.

  “It’s okay. Come in.” She stepped back, and he glanced at her feet, making her realize she was wearing her pink fuzzy slippers. And her baggy gray sweatpants. She looked down and laughed. What else could she do?

  “Your sisters?” he asked, inclining his head at Pam and Denise, who both continued to gawk.

  What Emily wouldn’t do for a picture of the two of them right now. “Yep, that’s Pam and Denise. Say hello to Nick, girls,” she said, and hid a smile while she led him past them, away from the family room and into the living room that was never used.

  She gestured to the sofa, and then quickly sat herself. For all her outward bravado, she was close to slipping into one big puddle. But she wasn’t so out of it that she didn’t heartily wish she was wearing some makeup and something other than pink fuzzy slippers and gray sweats.

  He skipped the blue paisley love seat and chose to sit on the couch beside her. She clasped her hands together so that he couldn’t see how badly she was trembling.

  “So, how have you been?” she asked calmly.

  “Pretty good. I was down in Louisiana for ten days.”

  “How is Billy?” she asked, nervous about the reply until she saw the corners of Nick’s mouth curve.

  “Better than I’d hoped. He’s got a great outlook. Swears he’ll go to spring training even if he has to watch from a wheelchair. I’m pretty sure he knows the odds, but if he’s willing to fight them, I’ll be with him the whole way.” Nick shook his head. “I admire the hell out of him. And his wife and kids, man, they’re all super people. I wish you’d been there with me, Emily.” He paused to study her face, his eyes anxious. “But you’ll meet them soon.”

  Her mouth went dry. “I will?”

  “I want you to. I want—” He exhaled sharply. “God, Emily, I’ve missed you.”

  “Me, too,” she admitted, shaken anew by the intensity in his darkened eyes. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

  At the confession, he hung his head, but not before she saw his mouth twist wryly. “Billy had just gotten hurt and for the first time in my career I was feeling vulnerable. When you talked about me going back to school, I froze inside. I couldn’t stop wondering who I would be when I wasn’t Nicky Corrigan anymore.”

  She smiled. “I take it you figured that out?”

  Shaking his head, he chuckled quietly. “Come here and let me kiss that smart mouth of yours.” He drew an arm around her and pushed the hair away from her face. “Sometimes you intimidate me, but I’ll have to get over that, too.”

  “I intimidate you?”

  “You’re smart as hell for one thing, and I’m not just talking about all those degrees. You’re confident and gorgeous and you know exactly who you are. I admire you. But I also know that it’s not fair to put you through all the craziness of my life. So I was thinking…”

  She couldn’t speak, not with her heart beating so hard and her thoughts tumbling.

  He swallowed. “I was thinking that if you wanted to give this thing a try for a while, my place is really big, and we can turn one of the spare bedrooms into your office. We wouldn’t have to go out much, and man, you can get anything delivered in New York. I don’t know. Maybe it’s too much to ask and—”

  Emily’s lips parted. “Nick,” she said. “It’s not too much to ask. I was planning on moving anyway.”

  “You were?”

  She nodded. “You really want to—” And then she couldn’t speak anymore. She was too caught up in the happiness she saw in his eyes, in the way he reached up and touched her cheek.

  Nick smiled. “I finally have you where I want you,” he said. “Speechless.” He winked at her, kissed her lightly at first and then slid his tongue home.

  Epilogue

  The following September

  THE SCORE WAS 2–0 AT the top of the ninth inning and so far Nick had pitched a perfect game. Sitting between Billy’s wife, Liz, and Ann Corrigan, Emily’s hands were clasped so tightly that her fingers began to cramp. It was an important game. If the Knights won, they would go to the World Series again.

  She watched Nick drop the jacket he’d been using to keep his arm warm on the bench and head slowly toward the mound. The crowd roared. Fans chanted his name over and over. Emily could barely hear herself think. She didn’t know how anyone could ignore all the noise and concentrate only on playing ball. But of course, Nick wasn’t just anyone.

  The man had an amazing ability to focus, and if he wanted something badly enough, there was no stopping him. He’d proven that in the past several months by relentlessly coaching Billy through rehab until he could walk unassisted, and at the same time, thorough
ly courting her. When spring training had started, he’d flown her to Florida, where she stayed with him in the condo he leased. He’d even converted the second bedroom into an office for her so she could work during the day. The first trip there, she’d laughed upon finding a pair of pink fuzzy slippers waiting for her.

  What made her happiest of all was his talk of wanting to coach high school baseball in the future. That would mean he’d need a teaching certificate, which in turn meant going back to school. He still wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but he was slowly coming around, especially since she’d promised to take classes with him.

  As soon as he got to the mound, his mother reached for Emily’s hand and squeezed. “He’s going to do it,” Emily assured her. “I just know he is.”

  Ann Corrigan nodded, her death grip tightening. “I’m glad you’re here, Emily.”

  “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” She smiled, grateful to have been so readily accepted by the Corrigans.

  She’d even gotten along well with Tom on the two occasions the Carter and Corrigan clans had come together to celebrate holidays. It was kind of scary how they all got on as if they’d known each other for years. Just like her and Nick.

  He threw a few warm-up pitches and then glanced toward the section where she and his family were sitting. He caught her eye, gave her a quick wink and then turned toward home plate, all business.

  NICK SUCKED IN A DEEP calming breath and faced the first batter who’d stepped up to the plate. He was vaguely aware of the crowd around him, but he’d already shut out the noise and was concentrating on the hitter, Jerry Hobson, how he stood, how he held the bat, the determination in the older man’s face.

  Behind Hobson, Nick’s catcher, Will, got into position, and Nick’s focus slid to him, to his hands, the signals, indicating he understood the pitch Nick was about to deliver and that he was set for a fastball. In confirmation, Nick gave an amost imperceptible nod of his head. They both knew this veteran hitter well. He wouldn’t go for the first pitch.