Uchronie

by Richardson, Ian

  ‘The last time I was down there I was alone in the dark.’ I said, as the three of us power walked through the crew that still crowded the corridors. ‘Or, at least, I thought I was alone until I found Doctor Mentor.’

  ‘You want to keep well away from Doctor Mental.’ snorted Wayne, scratching his head. ‘Half man and half machine! Wot‘s that all about?’

  ‘Doctor Mentor is half machine, half man... and half woman.’ said Corporal Price with a wry smile.

  Wayne laughed coarsely.

  ‘No, seriously.’ said Corporal Price. ‘The doctor’s heart was replaced with a woman’s heart after a plane crash.’

  ‘I don’t believe Doc Mental was really a flying doctor in the Outback.’ said Wayne. ‘That high pitched voice don’t sound very Australian to me.’

  ‘Ah… but he’s not Australian.’ said Corporal Price. ‘Doctor Mentor was part of an international group of doctors that flew air ambulances. They called themselves the Para Docs.’

  ‘Doctor Mental is one big paradox.’ said Wayne, as we passed my cabin. ‘I don’ get it at all.’

  ‘Well… you’re going to have to get along.’ said Corporal Price, slowing down. ‘Because Doctor Mentor will be taking the second part of the parachute training.’

  Wayne groaned again.

  ‘Nate, you should collect any equipment you need from your quarters.’ said Corporal Price, stopping at my door. ’We’re going down into the depths of Area 51 and it‘s a long climb back up. You won’t get a lift up on the engine pistons from away down there.’

  In my cabin I gathered up the charts Captain Wright had given me, picked up my back pack and carefully put my posy of mauve carnations into the top pocket of my uniform jacket.

  Wayne, watching me from the corridor, rolled his eyes and shook his head but didn‘t say anything.

  ‘Ah… Nate and his lucky flowers.’ said Corporal Price, ducking down to observe me through the doorway. ‘I don’t believe in luck… although I must admit that accidents do happen from time to time.’

  ‘Get a move on mate.’ said Wayne. ‘We ain‘t got all day.’

  ‘I think that’s everything I need.’ I said, taking a final look around my cabin before I left. As I closed the door behind me I had the strangest feeling that I wouldn’t be seeing this room again for a very long time.

  ~~~~~~~~

  ‘So…you are my L.G.O.P.S.’ said Corporal Price, as we arrived in the Training Room. ‘My little group of parachute servicemen.’

  ‘Why me?’ groaned Wayne, putting one foot up on a chair. ‘I signed up to be a steamchav… not to jump out ten thousand feet up in the air.’

  ‘Egress from any airborne craft is a highly stressful, highly dangerous event, requiring instant decision making and quick physical reactions.’ said Corporal Price. ‘You have been selected because your reaction times are top notch. You should know that every crew member that we have trained to depart the Uchronie under canopy has landed safely.’

  ‘That’s good to know.’ I said.

  ‘However….you have to learn how to fall, before you learn how to fly.’ said Corporal Price. ‘Real life parachute training is far too dangerous so we are going to start by jumping off chairs so you can learn how to land and roll properly.’

  ‘No expense spared then.’ snorted Wayne.

  ‘We do have a sophisticated simulator-based training system that was developed by the Para Docs.’ said Corporal Price. ‘And we will go down to that simulator shortly. But... because the landing is the most difficult part of a parachute jump we will begin by learning how to jump, fall and roll.’

  ‘I knew it.’ said Wayne, pulling his other leg up on to the chair. ‘Alright then. Let’s jump and roll.’

  For the next hour we jumped off chairs in the training room and practiced bending our knees as we hit the floor. I soon discovered that landing on my right side and rolling on to my back avoided crushing my flowers.

  ‘Okay, very good. You’re ready for parachute training - part two.’ said Corporal Price, unlocking a riveted iron door to reveal a huge, dark, barn like room. ‘We’ll go down to the simulator through the shooting ranges.’

  Just inside the door, a single weapon sat on a polished mahogany table illuminated by a spotlight.

  ‘Nate. I think you know what this is.’ said Corporal Price, smiling as he stopped beside the handgun.

  ‘Is it my Wave gun?’ I gasped, picking it up. The firearm nestled into the palm of my left hand as if it was coming home. ‘Yes! It is!’ I cried. ‘Look! Engraved along the barrel are the words I chose. Bellum est Super.’

  ‘If you want it,’ said Corporal Price, ‘you can get it aboard the Uchronie. Wells and Verne will provide.’

  Instinctively my fingers closed round the faux brass bullet holes etched on the handle.

  ‘Can I fire it?’ I asked, turning round to Corporal Price.

  ‘Yes, yes. I think so.’ said Corporal Price, guiding the barrel of the gun away from his face, towards the targets on the far wall. ‘But please be careful where you point it.’

  ‘Sorry.’ I said. ‘I didn’t think it was loaded.’

  ‘Wave guns are always loaded and ready to fire.’ said Corporal Price, handing me a large pair of ear mufflers. ‘They never need reloaded. They draw power from the Uchronie’s steam pile and release it as a pulse of pure energy. You’d better put on these ear defenders.’

  ‘Brain defenders.’ said Wayne, pulling on a leather helmet with thick ear pads.

  ‘That’s right.’ said Corporal Price, covering his own ears with a large pair of headphones. ‘Wave guns can be rather loud… especially indoors. Try it!’

  I looked down at my shining new Duellist pistol. Even with its heavy, multi shot, rotating barrel, it balanced effortlessly in my hand. The easi-grip handle had individual finger grooves and my forefinger nestled automatically against the delicate trigger.

  ‘You just squeeze the little trigger on the back end.’ said Wayne, winking at Corporal Price. ‘And the little shot comes out the front end.’

  ‘I know how to fire a gun.’ I said, slowly running my fingers along the smooth barrel.

  ‘But you’re never going to win ‘Fastest Gun in the West’ are you?’ said Wayne. ‘Hurry up; I want to find out what this mission’s all about. Must be serious if we’re packing heaters.’

  Holding my pistol between the palms of both hands I raised it towards the roof, then slowly lowered it and took aim at the target.

  ‘Stand sideways.’ said Corporal Price, hauling me round and pulling my right hand off the gun. ‘You only ever fire a Wave pistol with the one hand that it has been fitted to. Have you ever fired a weapon in combat before?’

  ‘Not really.’ I said. ‘Only on practice ranges.’

  ‘Just what we need.’ sighed Wayne. ’An amateur cowboy.’

  Ignoring his remarks I took aim at the target with my left hand and pulled the trigger.

  There was a bright flash and a dull roar echoed through my ear mufflers.

  ‘That was about fifty percent power.’ said Corporal Price reeling in the target as I lowered my gun to the ground. 'Let's see how you did.'

  I’d hit the bulls eye.

  ‘Hmm… you may not be so much of a risk as I thought.’ said Corporal Price, grudgingly. ‘That was rather a good shot.’

  ‘Thank you.’ I said, raising my gun again. ‘Beginners luck. I could do with a bit more practice.’

  ‘You can practice more later.’ said Corporal Price. ‘As I said before… Wave guns transmute energy from the Uchronie and Commander DeBlanc is redirecting all of that energy towards the Wells Tippler cylinders.'

  ‘The Wells… what now?’ I said.

  ‘Let’s get down below.’ said Corporal Price, unlocking another door. ‘Captain Wright is in the top secret experimental area, waiting to fill you in with the details of your mission. Come along. He’s a busy man and we mustn’t keep him waiting.’

  ‘No… taint right.’ said Wayn
e, grinning at me as he followed Corporal Price down the long flight of stairs deep into the bowels of the Uchronie.

  I slid my shiny new Wave gun into my belt and followed them down.

  Next Episode: Jump to it.

  Jump To It

  In which Nate continues his jump training and discovers where it will take him.

  After descending a long series of staircases, Wayne, Corporal Price, and I entered a vast empty hanger. At each landing on the way down we had practiced our parachute falls by jumping the last few steps.

  We were deep inside the bowels of the Uchronie now and we had passed many steam powered marvels that I would have liked to examine if I’d had the time.

  Captain Wright was waiting for us, standing in the centre of a raised circular disc.

  ‘I thought Doctor Mental was taking the training.’ muttered Wayne, as we walked across the riveted metal floor. ‘Wot’s Taint doing here?’

  ‘Welcome to Jump Training.’ said Captain Wright, walking across the disc towards us. ‘Today we will guide you through a complete and immersive jump training experience, from canopy deployment to upwind landing. Doctor Mentor will join us shortly and you should be aware that he will be training you how to jump to a different time zone using a Wells Tippler cylinder.’

  ‘Wot?’ grumbled Wayne, pulling off his Burberry baseball cap. ‘I didn’t sign up for that neither.’

  ‘Commander DeBlanc requested you personally.’ said Captain Wright. ‘You should be proud.’

  Wayne muttered to himself but said nothing.

  ‘The jump chutes are packed in soft backpacks and are designed to open silently.’ said Captain Wright, picking a backpack from the pile of equipment near the edge of the disc. ‘Once you have landed, they can be wrapped up and concealed in a very small space. It is imperative that you make your jump quickly, silently and without a trace.’

  ‘O.K. Let’s try a simulated landing approach.’ said Corporal Price, indicating an array of straps hanging down from the ceiling. ‘We’re going to attach you to these harnesses, pull you up and then release you.’

  ‘Where’s the parachute?’ asked Wayne, looking up at the distant ceiling.

  ‘You won’t need a parachute.’ said Captain Wright. ‘T’aint necessary. The harnesses are completely safe and…’

  ‘I’m putting mine on.’ said Wayne, grabbing the soft backpack from him. ‘I ain’t taking no chances.’

  ‘As you wish.’ sighed Captain Wright. ‘It is just a simulation and it won’t affect your performance.’

  A few minutes later, Wayne and I were suspended high in the vast, echoing, hanger. Corporal Price had equipped us with helmets, brass goggles, oxygen masks and flight gloves. The broad leather straps of the safety harness would have crushed the flowers in my top pocket except for two conveniently placed holes.

  ‘Your first jump starts in free fall and simulates pulling the ripcord at a low altitude.’ said Captain Wright, from many meters below us. ‘This also demonstrates the use of an A.A.D.’

  ‘Wot’s an A.A.D.?’ asked Wayne. ‘An Automatic Activation Device.’ said Captain Wright. ‘If you don’t pull the ripcord, the A.A.D. will automatically open your chute at one thousand feet.’

  ‘A thousand feet doesn’t leave much margin for error.’ I said, tightening my straps.

  ‘Well… the so called ‘suicide height’ for stunt parachuting is one hundred feet.’ said Captain Wright. ‘But… you are correct… one thousand feet gives you just enough time to assess your landing situation.’

  ‘In a timed jump you normally pull your ripcord at five thousand feet.’ shouted Corporal Price. ‘You must be aware of your partner’s position at that moment in order to avoid collisions.’

  ‘Why do we have to jump together?’ I asked.

  ‘Tandem jumpd are essential in a Wells Tippler tube.’ said Captain Wright. ‘To ensure you don’t drift into separate time zones.’

  ‘O.K. I can understand that.’ I said, pulling my buckles up a notch. ‘I‘ve been lost in a time anomaly already and I wouldn’t want to go through that again.’

  ‘If you are in a collision situation after canopy deployment you must immediately A.C.T.’ said Captain Wright. ‘Appropriate Correction Tactics are essential to prevent entanglement.’

  ‘Currently you are suspended from a steam powered winch.’ shouted Corporal Price. ‘You will observe that when you pull on your lines, you are rotated in the direction that you pull.’

  Wayne pulled on his left line and swung away from me.

  ‘You’re pulling too hard.’ said Captain Wright, as Wayne swung towards the far wall of the hanger. ‘You just need to give it a gentle tweak.’

  Wayne pulled on his right and left lines until he got back into position.

  ‘As you approach the ground you should lift your goggles up and pull your oxygen mask down.’ shouted Corporal Price. ‘So you can look for the safest landing area.’

  ‘Your parachute can be steered a considerable distance,’ said Captain Wright, ‘as Wayne has just demonstrated. Assess the wind direction and speed as you descend and you should be able to guide yourself to a safe upwind landing.’

  Wayne pulled his left line again, swung away from me, and then used his right line to pull himself back.

  ‘There… you’re getting a feel for it.’ said Captain Wright, as Wayne stopped smoothly beside me. ‘Alright Nate… your turn. Try pulling to the right and then coming back to the centre.’

  I pulled on my right line and found that it only needed the lightest touch. I over corrected and almost collided with Wayne but I was able to stop myself in time.

  ‘T’aint perfect, but with a little bit of practice you’ll become experts.’ said Captain Wright. ‘As you come in to land you should be looking out for trees and power lines and preparing your body impact configuration that we learned upstairs.’

  ‘Feet, calf, thigh, hip and back.’ said Wayne.

  ‘Yes. Very good!’ said Captain Wright. ‘Now position yourself for a P.L.F.… a Parachute Landing Fall... and I’ll release the winch.’

  I assumed Captain Wright would only release Wayne but he pulled the winch lever and both of us immediately plunged towards the ground. I just had time to get myself into position as we fell together. Landing on the balls of my feet, I fell on to my thigh and hip before rolling on to my right side.

  ‘Very good. You’ve been practicing.’ said Captain Wright, stepping off the circular disc and pulling another lever. ‘That was the easy part. This is where it all becomes real.’

  With a hiss of steam the huge circular disc dilated to reveal a long, slowly rotating cylinder underneath.

  ‘That’s one of the ventilation shafts.’ said Wayne.

  ‘This one is rather more than just a ventilation shaft.’ said Captain Wright. ‘This is the Wells Tippler tube.’

  The slowly rotating cylinder was open to the sky below. Far beneath us the sun shone on cotton wool clouds but I could feel a draft of freezing cold air.

  ‘So you can see why you will need parachutes.’ said Captain Wright, with a grin.

  Wayne and I both groaned.

  ‘There’s no point complaining.’ said Doctor Mentor, walking stiffly across the hanger floor towards us. ‘Commander DeBlanc selected you both for this mission. I have just come from his control room and he requires Captain Wright and Corporal Price to attend him there immediately. There is a problem with the amount of power this Wells Tippler tube is using.’

  ‘He’s always wantin’ more power.’ muttered Wayne.

  ‘Well we’d better go.’ said Captain Wright. ‘Will you be all right on your own Doctor Mentor?’

  ‘Yes.’ said Doctor Mentor. ‘It’s just a simulated jump to calibrate their weight and I see that Wayne is already fully loaded with his backpack.’

  ‘Alright. We’ll be back as soon as we can.’ said Captain Wright, striding towards the stairs with Corporal Price. ‘But it’s a long climb up and a long way back down again
.’

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  ‘So you have been introduced to the Wells Tippler tube.’ said Doctor Mentor, as they left. ‘Just before I drop you in for the practical assessment I’d like to explain how it works. The other end of this cylinder is connected, via wormhole, to a different time zone. So you will experience variations in pressure and wind speed within the cylinder. Quick and accurate responses are essential when you make your jump because there is no reserve parachute.’