Lost

by Jennifer Davis

  “So what did you think?” the oyster man asks me.

  “Umm,” I pause, “I think it’s probably an acquired taste?” He and Max break out into laughter.

  “It’s not for everyone. But we probably should have started you on something a little less briny. Do you want to try another?”

  “No, thank you, I’d hate to spoil my appetite with so much other great food here!” We thank the oyster man for his time and walk into the crowd for more food exploration.

  “So what is your favorite food?” His simple question is one that I don’t have an immediate answer for.

  “I honestly don’t think I have just one,” I confess. “There are so many great foods in the world that I couldn’t live without.”

  “Ok, like what?”

  “Cheese. With a baguette and fruit, with macaroni, on pizza… need I go on?” I purposely leave off grilled and on fries to not fully reveal my inner fat kid.

  “Well I can see you have thought this through. And what comes second to cheese or cheese-related foods?”

  “Chocolate!” I say without hesitation. As if anything could come close in comparison.

  “Ok, then we shall find you some cheese, followed by chocolate,” he instructs.

  “Well what is your favorite food?”

  Max looks at me, thoughtfully considering my question. “Anything I can share with you.” His eyes burn into mine, overflowing me with lust for him. And I feel myself want him now more than ever.

  thirty-four

  “Did you say this is Italian?” I ask my Lust about the red wine that rests in our hands.

  “No, this one is from Napa,” he says pointing to the bottle displayed behind us. Come on, Jess, focus! We’ve been wandering through the festival for nearly ninety minutes indulging in all things cheese, chocolate, and wine-related, and now I feel my buzz lightening me on my feet. I’m just buzzed enough to feel free with my flirtations, but not enough to be drunk. I promised myself not to let that happen again, I’ve already embarrassed myself around him once doing that.

  “So where is this boyfriend of yours?” my Lust asks me, finally addressing the elephant who is not in the room. I realize I haven’t even checked my phone to see if Jack has tried to contact me. I’ve been having way too much fun playing pretend with my beautiful Italian man to think of him. Oops.

  “I’m not sure,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “I haven’t thought about him in hours,” I say honestly, looking for reassurance in Max’s eyes, and feeling the guilt return.

  “Well I will keep you company for as long as you like,” he says with his signature wink. I melt a little inside and feel myself being even more drawn to this man. What a difference just a few hours can make. Since learning the truth about Lia, I’m filled with relief, and even hope. Maybe there’s a reason why Jack and I came up here and got into a fight. I mean how many times do Max and I have to run into each other before our fate just cock slaps me in the face? I realize that this opportunity to explore what may have been, and may still be, has been handed to me on a silver platter. My daydream is quickly tempered by my own logic. Remember his reputation, Jess, he’s a manwhore. You’re just another conquest to him. I try to force the cautiously boring and judgmental keeper out of my brain.

  “Hey man, what are you doing here?” Jack’s voice interrupts my thoughts, and I instantly feel guilt spread inside me. Even though my body hasn’t betrayed him, my mind certainly has.

  “Hey, Jack,” Max responds with a warm handshake. “Jess and I ran into each other, so we’ve just been sampling some food and wine. This place is great. Did you just get here?”

  “About a half hour ago. I’ve been calling you, trying to find you,” Jack says with a glare toward me, not hiding the agitation in his voice. It’s clear that he’s the one now trying to continue our fight from this morning.

  “Sorry,” I respond. “It’s loud in here.” His annoyance allows me to ease my guilt with my own remaining frustration toward him.

  “I want to introduce you to my friend, Barrett.” Jack motions toward a tall, skinny, overly preppy man with dark hair and green eyes. He’s cute, dressed in a white polo and white jeans. His shirt is unbuttoned a bit too far, proving that exposing too much chest hair is never a tasteful choice.

  “Nice to meet you, Jess. I’ve been hearing about you all day,” Barrett says politely, extending his hand to mine.

  “Hey man, I’m Barrett,” he says, next introducing himself to Max.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Max.”

  “So how do you guys know each other?” Barrett asks skeptically, apparently trying to determine the circumstances that find me wandering around this festival with another man.

  “We actually met in Paris when these two were on vacation,” Max responds, “and now Jack is supporting one of my company’s deals so we’re working together as well.”

  “Small world,” Barrett says, clearly still questioning why I’m really here with this other man.

  “So what have you seen in the festival so far?” I ask, forcing myself to play nice.

  “Mainly the South African wines. I figured if we started in the wine area I would probably find you.” Jack says with a laugh, putting his arm around me, and touching me for the first time since yesterday. My body tenses with his touch, and I catch Max eyeing my body language, trying to read into our interactions.

  “Well it is a wine and food festival, so it was a good guess,” I say flatly. “Jack, they have an oyster station back there.”

  “Oh, awesome.”

  “Yeah, let’s go check that out,” Barrett says to him.

  “You guys want to come?” Jack asks us. My Lust turns to me and gives me a slight shrug of his shoulders, indicating that he’ll follow my lead.

  “We’ve already been over there, so we might just keep working our way through,” I say shamefully, realizing I’m trying to ditch my boyfriend for my lustfriend.

  “Sounds good. Hey, thanks for keeping my girl company, Max,” Jack says appreciatively.

  “My pleasure,” my Lust says with a gleaming smile toward me.

  “Great. I’ll text you in a bit,” Jack moves in for a kiss and I turn my head slightly, forcing his lips to land on my cheek. Thankfully Jack thinks nothing of my averted lip lock, and he and Barrett go back to their festival exploration.

  As soon as they’re out of sight Max looks at me. “Come,” he directs me, and takes my elbow leading me away. I frown that he hasn’t reached for my hand again, but only hope that he’s being respectful given Jack’s presence nearby.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Somewhere that I can have you.” Oh. My. I have no idea what he means by “have me”, but my heart races and my body aches for the answer. I squeeze his hand to let him know my feelings match his. We walk through the exit, and Max does a quick glance to be sure we don’t recognize anyone outside. The daylight is fading, and we stand on the edge of the pier, the waves splashing back and forth just a few feet away from us.

  “So beautiful,” Max says.

  “I know, what a gorgeous sunset,” I agree, feeling my heart race faster than my mind with anticipation. He lets out a little laugh and shakes his head. He then pulls my arm in, forcing me to push against him. I remember his fresh smell of Italian soaps and raw pheromones from months ago when our bodies were this close. Feeling his closeness overtakes any guilt I have for Jack, and I finally realize that this lust just might be more powerful than my love. This feeling is something I can’t refuse any longer, and I decide I have to explore this truth.

  “I was talking about you,” he says with a smile, finding my eyes with his. I blush at the compliment, but find the sincerity behind his serious eyes.

  “Oh, thanks,” I say, glancing away from his intense stare. His warm fingers find my chin and they guide my face back toward him. I stretch on my toes and wrap my arms around his neck, my body feeling the carnal pull toward him. My mind tells me this would be wrong, but my body a
ssures me it’s only right. My heart pounds faster and faster as my lips finally meet his, a moment that I wasn’t sure I would ever experience again.

  I instantly lose myself into him, his soft lips rest against mine, and his tongue slides my mouth open, allowing our bodies to further connect. I crave closeness to him and I wrap my arms around him, letting my fingers run through his hair. I pull him to me and feel his body relax into me. We ravage each other’s mouths, and the desires pull at every inch of my body, wanting and needing more of him. Everything inside of me is in a state of euphoria, and my body knows it’s met its match.

  His hands begin to explore me, starting at my waist, and then moving up and down a few inches at a time. I can feel his hands wanting to go down further, to caress my butt, but each time he inches closer down there he squeezes me tighter and moves his hands back up. He must be cognizant of our public surroundings, but for once I’m completely unafraid of PDA. Of being caught. It’s all I can do to keep my panties on right now. I continue to melt into his arms, and electricity between us grows with each second that passes. Our lips remain locked for what seems like forever; I’m in no hurry to let this beautiful, lusty man go. I feel his manhood grow larger against me and my body aches to feel his skin against mine.

  When we eventually pause to catch our breath, our eyes connect, and we wordlessly look to each other for a sign of what’s next.

  thirty-five

  “No, no, no! You must come back to my house with me. I won’t take no for an answer,” my Lust says to me, Jack, and Barrett.

  “No, really, we don’t want to be a bother. We can just head back to the hotel and have a drink,” Jack responds. The four of us stand outside of the Tacos and Tequila event, trying to decide where to close out the evening. It’s taking every bit of self-control inside of me not to jump on top of Max this evening. We’ve barely had any alone time together since our kiss—well, make-out session, rather—ended at the pier. Jack and Barrett found us shortly after we went back inside the festival and we’ve been hanging as a foursome ever since.

  “I should probably get home, I’ve got a pregnant wife waiting for me,” Barrett responds, indicating that he’s leaving and I’ll soon be stuck between my boyfriend and my lustfriend.

  “Okay, dude, it was great seeing you. Hope it’s not so long between the next visit!” Jack says giving a bro hug to his friend.

  “Jess, it was great meeting you. Take care of this guy, don’t let him get into too much trouble,” Barrett says, giving me a hug.

  “I’ll do what I can, but no promises!” I say with a laugh. “You know what challenges I’m working with here!”

  “Touché,” Barrett laughs. “Max, great meeting you as well. You have my card now, so give me a shout if you want to grab a drink, or of course if my bank can be of service for you.” He extends his hand toward Max.

  “Nice meeting you as well,” Max says, returning the handshake. I’ll be in touch.” Barrett leaves us and my mind begins spinning, wondering if my evening of Lust will soon end.

  “Well I don’t know about you guys but I’m still game for a nightcap,” Jack announces to us.

  “Then it’s settled. You will come to my home for another drink. You’ve hosted me at your house, so please, let me return the favor.”

  ***

  “Make yourselves at home.” Max gestures for us to sit in his mahogany den. I sit gingerly on the chestnut tufted leather sofa, gazing at his book collections, which anchor a large window in the middle of the room. The view is of his small but private courtyard, housing perfectly sculpted evergreens that are lit by the soft glow of patio lights. I vaguely remember catching a glimpse of this room during my previous visit here.

  “What can I get you to drink?” Max asks us.

  “Well, what do you have?” Jack probes him.

  “Virtually everything,” he laughs. “Well most liquors, and a fairly deep selection of wine. Not much beer on hand right now though since I’ve been traveling.”

  “How about a Manhattan? When in Rome, as they say.”

  “Prego. I’ll join you. And Jess, what can I get you?”

  “Oh, just water please.” After my full day of drinking I know I need some hydration. And I’m smart enough not to make the same mistake twice and end up throwing up in front of this beautiful man again.

  “Gas?” Max asks me, catching me by surprise. Did he just ask if I have gas?

  “Do you want gas in your water? You know, umm, bubbles?”

  “Oh!” I say with a giggle. “No, still water is fine. Thank you.” I feel my face blush, hoping he doesn’t realize how amused I am by toilet humor.

  “Of course,” he responds with a straight face, thankfully either ignoring or oblivious to my childish humor. He gives a slight nod toward the back of the room and I see Enzo standing quietly and inconspicuously in the back corner, ready to dash off and make our drinks. Wow. I forgot that Enzo is not only his driver but also his butler. Having a man servant only makes him lustier. Lusty yet refined. Except when he slides his tongue against mine and I feel nothing but unrefined thoughts radiate from him.

  “This is such a great place. How long have you lived here?” Jack asks, walking around the edge of the room and viewing the adjacent patio.

  “Here, hmm, I’ve been in this house for maybe two years. Before that I just rented a suite at the Waldorf every time I came into town. It was nice, but I preferred having my own space. Somewhere I could make my own.”

  “We’re actually staying at the Waldorf this weekend,” I chime in. “I love the classic décor. It has an interesting old world feel to it.”

  “Oh I completely disagree,” Jack says. I can’t help but roll my eyes, wondering if Jack’s just trying to pick at me. “It’s too old school. I don’t think they’ve evolved their décor over time at all.”

  “I have to disagree, Jack,” Max says. “I think they are such a classic institution, and their look reflects that. They’re staying true to themselves, and not putting loud music and mood lighting in the elevator, nor do they try to cater to twenty-somethings. No offense,” he smiles, acknowledging the age differences between us.

  “None taken, old man,” Jack retorts, showing a bit of a wobble as he slaps Max on the shoulder, revealing his overindulgence of alcohol. That’s just what I need, a drunk boyfriend to deal with while I stare at my lustfriend. On second thought, if he passes out then maybe I would have a chance to be alone with Max? What happened to your weekend of reconciliation with Jack, your boyfriend? Don’t be like your mother, Jess.

  Enzo enters the room with a silver tray and serves me first, placing a bottle of Evian on the table in front of me along with a napkin underneath. It’s just like being at a restaurant and having wait service.

  “Thanks, Enzo,” I say quietly. He nods his head and gives me a slight smile, enhancing the deep wrinkles around his ageing gray eyes. He next goes to Jack and then lastly to Max to deliver their Manhattans. I watch him glance at Max, as if waiting for a command. Max simply gives a half shake of his head and Enzo understands the cue for his dismissal, quietly leaving the room and closing the wooden doors behind him.

  “So where is Lia tonight?” Jack asks.

  “Probably out with friends somewhere. I can’t keep track of her whereabouts. She’s just a party animal.”

  “And you’re ok with this?”

  “So long as she doesn’t bring the party back to my house, it’s fine. I think she’ll be moving out soon, she’s getting enough work now that she should be able to afford something.”

  “You just moved her in, and you’re ready to kick her out?” Jack asks.

  “Oh, no. She is staying here as a favor to her family. Our mothers were very close in Italy, and I promised to look out for her when she moved here. There’s nothing more between us.”

  “Well, maybe not yet.” Jack winks at him, raising his glass in a silent toast. I can’t help but roll my eyes, but neither man catches my reaction.

 
“Buongiorrrnooooo,” a drunken female voice rings through the apartment. Good God is she right on cue. “Ciao, Maxi,” the voice calls as it nears us. I know instantly it’s Lia, arriving home after a night of partying. I glance at my phone and see it’s 1:15 am, surprisingly early for her to come back on a Saturday night. “Ciao,” her voice calls again. This time she swings open the heavy wooden doors to his study. “Maxi!” she says excitedly upon catching a glimpse of him. I watch her face fall a bit as she sees that Jack and I are here. I’m not sure if it’s because she wants Max all alone, or because she doesn’t want to spend another night hanging with us. I can’t exactly blame her, since the feeling is mutual.

  I watch the scantily clad party girl skip across the room toward Max. Her white dress is akin to a sausage casing, squeezing in every inch of her perfect figure. I could never, ever, wear a dress like that, my curves would only look like sausage links. I reassure myself by remembering that she’s not dating him. But neither am I.

  “Ciao, Jessica!” Lia gives me a slight wave as she passes by me.

  “Hello, Lia. Have fun at the club?”

  “Ugh, no, it was filled with boys,” she says, pausing to greet Jack.

  “And this is a bad thing?” Jack asks, turning his head from side to side to accept her European greeting.

  “No, I do not want boys. I want men! Like you and Max,” she says. “You are both handsome men with good tastes. You appreciate women. These boys only want sex. God, it is the same everywhere! Roma was filled with boys. New York? Filled with boys. I do not need boy friend. I need man friend!” She raises her hands up dramatically to emphasize her point. “My darling, Max. Did you miss me tonight?” She gives him a kiss on the cheek and I watch him return the greeting, but his eyes catch mine and he shoots me a wink. I can’t help but smile back at him, acknowledging the secret feelings between us.