by Jewel, Bella
“Jealous?” Scarlett offers.
“Yeah.”
“Because you care about him, I just don’t think you understand why. But you do. It’s clear. And you’ve been through a lot. And you gave a lot to him when you slept with him. And you felt an emotion that is completely natural, honey. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“I could have been taken again, because I over reacted to a silly emotion...” I say, feeling ashamed.
“It isn’t a silly emotion. It’s powerful enough on a good day, with people who understand what it means. You don’t, or at least, you don’t remember feeling it, so therefore it would have hit you even harder. You overreacted, you did something silly, but you have learned a lesson and shouldn’t be punished for it.”
I nod, rubbing my face.
“Talk to Slater, honey,” she advises. “I know you might not want to, but the only way you two are ever going to get over this speed bump, is if you’re both open and honest with each other. He can’t help you with your fears, if he doesn’t know what they are. Tell him what you’re feeling, and let him help you. We’re family, now. We all want to be here for you.”
“Thank you,” I smile at her. “I really appreciate it.”
“Can we have a word to Ellie, darlin’.”
We both turn to see Malakai, Maverick and Boston standing in the doorway. I look to Scarlett, and she nods, smiling. “Come find me when you’re done, and we’ll keep drinking this little problem away.”
I smile at her and laugh softly. She stands and gives Maverick a kiss, long and deep, on her way out. My cheeks go pink, and I turn back to my beer as the three men come in and sit down with me.
“Been talkin’ it over, and while Slater ain’t happy with it, and is refusing to hear us out, it doesn’t come down to him. It comes down to you,” Malakai begins, and I meet his eyes. “Think the quickest and safest way to rid ourselves of this piece of shit, is to set it up and catch him out. Otherwise, could take months, even longer, of torment and you puttin’ your life on hold, and I’m sure you don’t want that.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t want that. I just...I need to be free, Malakai. A huge portion of my life was snatched from me because of him, and I don’t want to live another second in fear. So, I’ll do whatever you think is right.”
Malakai nods. “We’ll make sure you’re safe, no matter what, understand? We’ll have eyes on him at all times, and we won’t let him get his hands on you again...”
I swallow, sick to my stomach with the idea. I also know it’s the best one we have. “Okay.”
“All we know so far,” Boston says, smiling at me, and making me feel at ease, “Is that he’s watchin’ you. That’s all we need to know. We recreate a situation like this morning, where you run out, or are distressed, and he believes you’re alone. We let him get close enough, then we take him down.”
Take him down.
“How...what are you going to do with him?”
Malakai’s eyes hold mine. “Not goin’ to answer questions like that. I can promise you, Ellie, that he’ll never bother you again.”
I know what that means.
I know it, and honestly...I’m okay with it.
I’m okay with his blood being on my hands.
I’m okay with ridding the world of a cruel, evil monster.
I’m most certainly okay with being free.
Finally.
~*~*~*~
THEN – SLATER
“Slater. Fuck.” Lincoln breathes, running his hands through his hair. “What have you done?”
“I know,” I mutter, drinking another huge mouthful of beer. Something to try and ease the ache in my chest. “I know what I’ve done, and I don’t know how to fuckin’ fix it.”
“You don’t fix it without takin’ down the person after you. And we both know you can’t do that. He’s goin’ to come after you, man. He’s goin’ to take what he needs for payment. Chances are, it won’t be you, it’ll be something that matters to you...”
“I broke up with Ellie,” I say, and the words burn, “so he won’t be able to link her to me.”
Lincoln shakes his head. “You can’t be that stupid as to think he wouldn’t already know Ellie is your girl...”
Fuck.
I feel sick.
Vomit stirs around in my stomach. “What the fuck do I do, Lincoln?”
My older brother shakes his head. “I don’t fuckin’ know, Slater. I don’t know. You stole money. I can’t believe you’d do something so fuckin’ stupid.”
“I thought I had it right, to make it look like I’d been done over, but...it backfired.”
“Men like Walter are smart, they know all the tricks in the book. You should have spoken to me.”
“We were goin’ to lose the house, Finn and Damon were scared. I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly...”
“Yeah, I know that, but now you’re in a mess so fuckin’ deep I don’t know how you’re goin’ to get yourself out of it. They’ll want payment, it’ll either be your blood, or someone else’s...”
I swallow, and drop my head into my hands, panting. I keep trying to take a deep breath, but nothing is working.
I don’t know how the fuck I’m going to get out of this.
“Best thing you can do right now, is disappear. Take Ellie. She’s not safe, even if you think she is.”
Ellie.
My beautiful Ellie.
“In fact,” Lincoln says. “Go now, get her. Don’t let her out of your sight.”
“She doesn’t want to see me. I fuckin’ broke her heart, Lincoln. Tore it out.”
“Then go and tell her the truth, tell her you fucked up, tell her what you’ve done and why, and tell her you’re takin’ her until it’s safe. You need to go tonight, Slater. Staying here is dangerous. So fuckin’ dangerous.”
“He don’t know where I live...”
“Won’t take him long to figure it out.”
“And if I go, what about the rest of you...ain’t safe for anyone...”
“I’ll take the boys, figure it out. You worry about yourself and Ellie. Leave the rest to me, owe you that much for all you’ve done.”
“Ok. I’ll go and get her,” I say, standing, exhaling, and then leaving the house.
I walk next door, and up the front steps. I knock on the door, and then step back. Marlene answers it a few minutes later. “Oh. Hello, Slater, what can I do for you?”
She seems...nice. Too nice. Ellie mustn’t have told her we broke up. Fuckin’ kills me she’s dealin’ with this on her own.
“Is Ellie around, Marlene?”
She frowns. “No, she’s not. I thought she was with you.”
My blood runs cold.
I feel like I’m goin’ to pass out right then and there, on the front porch.
Ellie isn’t here.
Calm down. Fuckin’ breathe.
Maybe she’s at a friend’s house.
“She ain’t with me...” I go on. “Could she be at a friend’s place?”
Marlene frowns now, too. “Well, no, I wouldn’t think so. She always tells me if she’s going to a friend’s house, hence why I assumed she was with you. It’s the only place she usually is, if she isn’t here, especially this time of the night.”
I feel sick.
Fuckin’ ill.
“I’ll call her,” I say, pulling out my phone and dialing her number.
It goes straight to voicemail.
“I’m goin’ to check out her friend’s places. If she comes home, call me...” I say, and I know my voice shows how frantic I am.
Marlene’s face goes white, but she nods. “Do you think she’s okay?”
“I’m sure she’s okay, Marlene,” I try to assure her, but don’t believe it.
Not even close.
I turn and practically run back to the house. I burst through the front door, and straight to Damon’s room. He’s alone, but jerks when I come barging in. “Fuck, man, what is it?”
&n
bsp; “You seen Ellie?”
He shakes his head. “Na, I haven’t.”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“Lincoln!” I bellow.
Lincoln finds me in the hall, charging towards the front door. “What? What is it?”
“She’s gone. She isn’t at home. Her phone is off. Damon hasn’t seen her. He’s fuckin’ got her. He’s got her...”
“Calm down, brother. Calm down. She could be out, at a friend’s house, working, anything. Check all of those things before you panic.”
I nod, running towards the front door when my phone rings, without even checking the screen I bring it to my ear and yell out, “Ellie?”
A low voice chuckles on the other end, and I come to a complete stop.
“Who is this?”
“Walter. I wanted to tell you, you’re in the clear. I have something of yours that more than makes up for the cash you stole. She’s lovely, if I do say so myself. I know a few men will gladly pay a high price for her.”
No.
No.
No.
“You let her go you son of a bitch!”
He laughs. “Now now, Slater. You should have thought before taking what wasn’t yours, now I’m taking what isn’t mine. I’ve made sure everyone knows it, too. They’ll all see what happens when I’m double crossed.”
“I’ll do fuckin’ anything,” I practically plead, “anything you want. You can put a bullet in my brain if it means lettin’ her go. Please, fuckin’ let her go.”
He laughs, low, evil, cold. “Sorry, I can’t do that. She’s already out of my hands. I have her in a safe place until she’s sold. There is nothing you can do now. Consider your debt paid, Slater. Wonderful working with you.”
He hangs up the phone and I roar, tossing it across the room.
“Who was that?” Lincoln asks, his voice worried now.
“Walter has her. He’s goin’ to fuckin’ sell her. We have to get to her, now!”
“Let’s go,” Lincoln barks, grabbing his truck keys, his gun, and meeting me in the drive way.
We drive to the location I worked for Walter last, a big warehouse. When we get there, it’s dead empty.
There isn’t a single person around.
No.
Fuck.
No.
“He’s moved out, gone. Smart fuckin’ man,” Lincoln mutters.
“Someone has to know something,” I say, frantic, feeling my whole body shutting down with every passing second.
“We’ll call everyone we can, go everywhere we’ve been. We’ll find someone who knows something, Slater. We won’t rest until we do.”
“This is all my fuckin’ fault...and worse, she fuckin’ thinks I don’t love her. She’s gone and she thinks I don’t love her.”
My voice cracks, and I slam my fist into the hard plastic in front of me.
Lincoln reaches over, and squeezes my shoulder. “We’ll find her.”
I hope he’s right.
God damn, please let him be right.
~18~
NOW – ELLIE
“Not goin’ to happen, Malakai,” Slater mutters, his eyes a little glassy from one too many beers.
I haven’t seen him since our fight, I’ve done my best to avoid him. I went over a plan with Malakai and the guys, and then had a few drinks with Scarlett and Saskia before meeting back up with the guys to talk to Slater about what we’re going to do. Turns out Slater has been sitting in the sheds down the back, drinking this whole time.
I’m not sure it’s done anything to curb his anger.
“It’s happenin’, Slater. It ain’t your call. It’s Ellie’s.”
Slater looks to me. “You seriously goin’ to put yourself at risk?”
“I’m at risk every single second he’s breathing, Slater. So yes, I’m going to put myself at risk. I want this done. I need it to be over.”
“And if this goes wrong?” Slater growls.
“It won’t go wrong, we’ll have eyes on her and a tracker on her the whole time,” Maverick assures Slater.
“It’s fuckin’ playing with fire, that’s what it is,” Slater barks, walking past us all.
“It’s happenin’, Slater. Like it or not,” Malakai calls after him.
“Over my dead fuckin’ body will you take her away from me again,” Slater growls, stopping in his tracks and glaring at us all. His eyes zero on in Malakai.
“It’s our only option,” Malakai tells him, calmly.
“It isn’t! It’s the option that’s easiest for you, but it’s dangerous.”
“It’s happening.”
“Fuck!” he barks, and then disappears down the hall.
He’s got such a buildup of anger, and it seems to be spilling out a lot in the last few days. I feel for him, honestly, I do.
It must be hard.
“I’ll go and talk to him,” I offer, smiling at the guys and walking after Slater down the hall.
I find him in the room Scarlett took me to, staring out the window, fingers gripping the sill. He’s hurting, he’s scared, and he’s confused. I know exactly how all of those emotions feel. Everything in my body is screaming at me to go to him right now, to let him know everything is going to be okay. The urge is so strong, I start moving closer to him without thought.
“Not goin’ to lose you again, Ellie,” he murmurs, his voice ragged and raspy.
He knew it was me, without even turning around.
“I have to do this, Slater. It’s a good plan, and it’ll work. I need...I need to be free of him.”
Slater doesn’t move.
“I’m sorry I’m making things harder for you. And I’m sorry I ran out this morning...”
“Do you have any fuckin’ idea how that felt,” he says, his voice tired, broken. “It was like reliving the night I found out you got taken, all over again.”
My heart breaks, because...dammit. That sucks. And I never wanted him to feel any more pain than he already has.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Every day in this world, is killin’ me, Ellie. I’ve forgotten how to breathe, how to just...be. I’m broken, and fucked up, and so damned scared of waking up one day, and you not being here again.”
Tears burst forth, and I move without thought, pressing my body against his back. I tip my head to the side and rest my cheek against him, sliding my arms around his huge body. I stand there like that, feeling so many things my body is having a hard time keeping up.
“It’s why I have to do this. So we can both learn how to breathe again.”
Slater turns, hand going down around my waist, and hauling me up against his big body. His eyes hold mine, and my tummy flutters with the soft wings of butterflies. He makes me giddy. He makes me feel things that I’ve not experienced. He makes the broken pieces of me come back together. My body knows this man, even if my mind has forgotten.
“I can’t lose you again,” he rasps.
“You won’t...”
“Last night, with you, was the best fuckin’ night of my life. It’s the first time in ten years I’ve been able to sleep right. Knowin’ you were with me, in my arms, hearing your breathing against my cheek, fuckin’ made me thankful for every day I kept fighting, even when I wanted to give up.”
“I’m so thankful you kept fighting for me, Slater. You’ll never understand just how much. It helps me to know that every day I was in there, someone was out here, fighting.”
He brings his hand down, stroking over my jaw. “That woman you saw me with. She’s a very good friend. Won’t lie to you, she did want a romance with me, and for a while I considered it. Nothing ever happened because...well...fuck, I just couldn’t. And so we became friends. Good friends. She was telling me this morning that she’s pregnant, and I was smiling because I was happy for her. She saved me when times got dark, but that’s all it was.”
“You don’t owe me any explanations, Slater,” I tell him, looking up into his eyes.
“Yeah, Ellie, I do. It’s because of me that you got taken...”
“And it can’t be undone,” I tell him. “Believe me, there are so many things I wish I could take back. But you can’t turn back time, you can only move forward.”
He stares at me, and the pain in his eyes almost hurts to look at.
“Look,” I tell him, taking a deep breath. “I don’t remember anything right now, and it frustrates me more than you’ll ever know. I do feel a connection with you, Slater. If I’m being honest, that connection terrifies me, because I’m scared that I’ll get close to you, and we’ll build something, and then my memories will come back. I’m scared of what they might reveal. So, I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me everything, and then, I don’t know, I guess I want to see what happens here. I can’t promise you anything, and I’m petrified I’ll hurt you, but I’m drawn to you, and you make me feel safe, which is something I’ve not felt before. At least, I don’t remember feeling.”
He gently guides a piece of hair from my forehead. “I’ll tell you everything. But before that,” he leans down, and his lips brush mine. He tastes so damned good, like Slater, and beer, and man. Pure, raw man. I want more.
I need him.
Like a damned drug.
I deepen the kiss, until we’re both panting. He spins me around, back against the window, leg up around his hip, kissing me like his life depends on it. I whimper, and clutch his biceps as his mouth moves down my neck, nibbling an erotic trail to my shoulder.
“If you don’t stop, I won’t be able to make you,” I whimper when his thumb grazes over my nipple.
“If you don’t want me to stop, I’m not goin’ to ask you to,” he murmurs into my ear, nipping at the lobe.
And dammit. I don’t want him to stop.
I know I should, at least until he’s told me everything. But right now, after everything that’s happened, after what he just told me, I want him. No, no, I need him.
More than air.
I hook my other leg around his hip and arch into him, his panting turns into a low growl as he rasps, “Can’t take my time with you here, baby. Gotta be hard. Gotta be fast. But later, when we’re alone, I’m goin’ to take my time to you. I’ve been waitin’ ten years to take my damned time with you. But right now, I’m goin’ to fuck you. That okay with you?”