by Lizzie James
“I just want to fuck you so bad.” He groaned, reaching his hands up and roughly grabbing my bra-clad breasts.
“Do it,” I gasped, tilting my head backwards. Having his hands on my skin sent me into pure bliss.
He froze, pulling back a little to look into my eyes.
“If you’re sure…”
I nodded, needing him. I had never been a highly sexual person but being with Johnny was different. I felt different when I was with him. He was it for me and I never wanted it to stop. I tightened my legs around him, holding on as he walked us over to his bed.
He lowered me to the floor, looking at me with hunger. His fingers went to the button on my jeans, undoing it. I kicked my flats off before he lowered himself down, sliding my jeans down my legs as he went.
I placed my hands on his shoulders, leaning on him for support. Sitting down on his bed dressed in only my white bra and panties, my eyes followed him as he stood back up. I lifted my hand, intending to do the same for him but he quickly stepped back, his Adam’s apple bobbing. That was always a nervous habit of Johnny’s, but he had nothing to be nervous about.
He tossed his jeans on top of mine and I gasped when I realized he had been going commando. I rubbed my legs together, feeling the tingles shoot straight to my core. He leaned over me, pressing me back so that I was lying sideways on the bed. His hands gripped the elastic at my hips and pulled it down. He tossed it on our discarded pile of clothes before picking me up and laying me down the right way so that my head was on his pillow.
Seconds later, he was joining me. It was different from last time. This time he was the one on top of me, his erection trapped between us.
“If you want to stop…” He tucked some loose curls behind my ears before softly kissing the tip of my nose. “We’ll stop. Okay?”
I nodded, spreading my legs wider for him. The thing I had come to learn about Johnny was that he would only do what I wanted. If I didn’t want something, that’d be enough for him. If he was going to be rough with me, I would have to initiate it. I slid my hands down his back, loving the shiver that rippled through him. Grabbing his ass cheeks, I roughly pushed him down against me.
“I want you to fuck me,” I whispered in his ear before turning my head and licking up the column of his neck and nibbling his earlobe.
He groaned, pushing his hips forward.
In one swift movement, he was deep inside me. I gasped at the feel of him inside me. Before I could get used to the feel of him, he began rocking his hips back and forward. Not slow or gentle. He had one hand settled on my ass and the other was massaging my breast. Even though it was covered by my bra, it didn’t lessen the desire that was coursing through me from the actions.
He lifted himself up on his hands and began moving faster.
“Feel good?” he gasped, circling hips in between hard thrusts.
“Yes.” I moaned, my hands leaning up to press against his chest. “You feel… so good.”
“You like that? You like watching me fuck you?”
Fucking hell. Johnny’s dirty talk was going to be the end of me.
“You like knowing how much of me you own? You like it when my rock-hard cock is inside you, fucking your sweet pussy?” He grinned down at me, knowing exactly the effect he had on me.
I slipped my hand over my mouth, trying to contain the noises that were coming from me.
“No, no, baby.” He pulled my hand away, moving it back to his shoulder. “I want to hear you. No one is here. I want to hear you fucking scream.” He leaned his weight down on me further, our chests pressing together.
I could feel him start to grow harder inside me, if that was possible. His hips sped up causing his head board to lightly hit the wall. I pulled his head down to mine, needing to feel as much of him as I could. He thrust his tongue inside, imitating what his hips were currently doing.
I moaned, ripping my lips from his. I could feel myself start to come undone.
“I…I’m.. I think I’m going to… Oh, fuck, Johnny!”
His hips sped up, determined to draw it out of me.
“That’s it, baby girl. Come for me.” He continued thrusting, my legs tightening around his hips. “Come apart for me!”
Within seconds, I was moaning out loud, thankful no one else was in the house. It was neither quiet nor something I wanted anyone to hear. Several thrusts later, he groaned into my neck, collapsing some of his weight onto me as he came inside me. Minutes later, he began to pull back, lifting his weight off me.
“Don’t go yet,” I whispered, tightening my arms and legs around him. I was clinging to him like a monkey, but I didn’t care. Feeling his skin against mine made me feel warm inside.
He dropped his head, pressing a small kiss to my shoulder.
“Tillie,” he whispered. “Thank you.”
“For what?” What could I possibly have done to deserve a thank you?
“For this. Being with me. Accepting me as I am.” He turned his head, pressing his lips softly to mine. He pulled back, rubbing his nose against mine. He stared into my eyes, making me nervous. “Tillie Jacobs, I think I’m in love with you.”
I froze at his words. In love? Was he serious? Did he feel everything that I felt? Did I plague his thoughts as much as he plagued mine? He had quickly become everything to me and I was so scared to allow myself to fall over that ledge with him—scared he wouldn’t catch me, that I would plummet to the shore below and get washed out.
“I know it’s early and…” He shook his head, unable to hide the look of disappointment. “I know I’m rushing it but…”
I couldn’t stand it any longer. If he was in this for the long haul, then so was I. He began to lift his weight off me, but I forced him back, taking his face in my hands.
“I think I love you too,” I whispered. “I know that’s not the most romantic thing, but I have nothing else to compare it to.” I smoothed his hair back, loving the way his green eyes filled with warmth. “You’re all I think about and even when we’re not together, you’re on my mind. You’re my missing piece, Johnny.”
He grinned, apparently liking the idea of me repeating those inscribed words back to him.
From that moment on, we became inseparable. We had spent most of our time together before but since hearing Johnny tell me that he loved me, it just seemed to cement our connection further. Over the next few days, we spent our time between spending our evenings together and visiting Joy in the hospital. Johnny was focusing on getting as many of his essays completed as possible before college would start back up in the New Year.
Hanging out at the hospital had become my norm. I spent my nights at Johnny’s and my afternoons with Johnny. In the mornings, I would spend the time catching up on my essays and cleaning the house. Joy was house-proud, and I didn’t want her to be disappointed when she came home.
“So,” Joy said, “What are you doing tonight?”
“Tonight?” I was confused. “Nothing that I can think of.” I shrugged my shoulders, dismissively.
“Tillie!” she admonished me, sounding appalled. “It’s New Year’s Eve.”
I laughed at how disgusted she sounded. “It’s just another night, Joy.” I chuckled at the way she rolled her eyes. “I haven’t celebrated New Year’s Eve for a few years.”
“Since losing your mama?” she asked, concerned.
I shrugged, not sure how to answer that. It’s not like we never celebrated because of her, but it usually just ended with my nose in a sketchpad and my dad falling asleep in the chair.
“Well, you’re not staying here.” She had a fake stern expression on her face but her cheeky smile gave her away. “There’s an outfit waiting at home for you and a party with Johnny that you will be at, young lady.”
“Parties are not really my thing.” I hated hanging out with large groups of people that I didn’t really know. “Besides, you’re here. Who’s going to make me go?” I giggled at the flustered expression before we were interrupted.
“Knock, knock,” a voice called from the doorway. “Reporting for Tillie duty.”
I looked up and grinned. Logan and Sammy were both standing there with matching grins on their faces. Sammy had a box of chocolates in his hands and Logan was holding a pink ‘Get Well Soon’ balloon. They both greeted her with hugs and kisses. None of her blood relatives had visited as they had only come to visit for Christmas Day, but she still had us.
I disappeared into my sketch pad, trying to capture details from my mind for my animation subject. I fucking hated animation. I didn’t have the imagination for it and it was stupid that I had to jump through this hoop just to pass the damned course.
After a few moments of feeling someone watching me, I flicked my eyes up.
Logan stood to the side of me, smirking down at me with his arms crossed. “You ready?”
Before I could even answer, he ripped the sketch pad from my lap and cocked an eyebrow at me, his eyes flicking between the sketch and me.
“Why are you drawing freaking unicorns?”
See? Even he thought it was stupid. I snatched it back, shoving my sketch pad back in my bag.
“Stop winding her up, bro.” Sammy slung his arm over my shoulder giving me a wink.
“She knows I’m teasing, man.” He grinned, bending down and giving Joy a quick kiss goodbye.
I gave her a tight hug, promising to come back and see her the next day. “Love you.”
“Love you, too, sweet girl.” She waved us off, smiling at us as we left.
16
Johnny
Standing by the buffet table in the hall of the art museum in town, my eyes kept going to the door.
Fucking hell.
Another party. Another night. Another bimbo blonde giving me the ‘come hither’ look. I rolled my eyes, ignoring it. Avoiding Lucy’s stare, I looked at Chunk, trying his hardest to hit on one of the sorority sisters. He didn’t have a chance in hell. They only went for guys from rich families.
“Hi, Johnny,” her nasal, annoying voice said from beside me. “It’s good to see you.” She reached over, grabbing my tie and used it to pull herself toward me. “Especially tonight.” She licked her lips, attempting to look sexy. Several months ago, it would have worked.
“Hello, Lucy.” I placed my arms on her upper arms, gently pushing her back away from me. The last thing I needed was for Tillie to walk in and see Lucy touching me. “Just waiting for Tillie.”
“Still with that bitch?” she asked, her lip curling in disgust. “She can’t satisfy you like I can.”
“She satisfies me, just fine. Thank you for asking.” I fucking hated Lucy. She may have been pretty on the outside, but she was ugly as sin on the inside. “Especially with her mouth.”
She made a noise of disgust before turning around and stomping away. I didn’t know why she hadn’t just given up and moved on to the next poor fucker waiting in line.
I spent the next hour talking shit with Logan and the boys. He was asking a load of questions about game statistics and when he could expect to play. He just wanted one game. I guessed it’d be out of his system then.
“Hey, can I have some?” Bex asked, taking the bottle from Logan. She was dressed in a long, strapless black dress. Logan's eyes went straight to her chest. I felt for the poor guy. He obviously had yet to figure out that she wasn’t into him; never would be if Tillie was correct.
“So, where’s Tillie?” I asked, beginning to lose my patience. I was a patient guy but waiting over an hour was starting to make me frustrated.
“See for yourself.” She nodded her head toward the door.
I followed her line of sight and gasped at the vision that stood before me. She was dressed in a cream dress that came to her knees. The bodice was lace and hugged her curves perfectly, but the bottom was frilly. She looked like a fairy. Her hair was curled and flowing down her back and she had the sexiest, matching cream heels on her feet. Tillie was never one for getting dolled up, but I could tell she had made the extra effort. My feet took me straight to her.
“You look beautiful,” I whispered, leaning down and pressing my lips to hers.
“Thank you.” She tucked some hair behind her ears before smiling shyly up at me. “Everyone’s staring.” Her eyes moved behind me, flicking around before coming back to mine.
“Ignore them.” I took her hand in mine and began leading her to our table. She took her seat in between Sammy and me. I chuckled as she turned her body toward him. She fixed his tie, straightening it for him.
Looking around, I could see that half of the town was here. It was nice to be at an event that wasn't specifically just for college students.
“Would you like to dance, Tillie?” Sammy asked, holding his hand out for hers. She quickly accepted, letting him lead her to the dance floor. Sammy turned her so that her back was to us before Logan and Bex both turned to me at the exact same time.
“Where is it?”
“When are you going to do it?” They both fired off questions at the same time, making my head spin.
“Woah!” I raised my hands, trying to act cool. “What are you two on about?”
“Please!” Bex replied with attitude. “Sammy already told me!” She leaned closer to me, whispering. “You’re going to ask Tillie to move in with you.”
I looked at her in shock. How the fuck did she know what I was going to do? Shit! Did Tillie know?
I was starting to panic. I didn’t know why the fuck I was carrying the box around with her key tucked safely inside everywhere I went. I tried going over ideas in my head. It was all I’d thought about lately. I just didn’t know how to ask her. I wanted it to be unique and special, but nothing seemed to pop out at me. It had gotten to the point that anytime we got close or made love, I'd have to undress myself, fearing that she'd find it. It wasn’t like I was ready to settle down or anything, but I just knew, this key belonged to her. I belonged to her.
“Relax! You’re starting to stress me out.”
I couldn’t stop staring at her. Sammy was twirling her beneath the sparkly lights and she looked like an angel. She tipped her head back, laughing at whatever Sammy was saying. Living without a father around, it was hard, but I had kind of become that figure to Sammy. Watching the two most important people in my world laugh together in that moment, it was right.
“May I cut in?” I asked, directing my question at Sammy.
He lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there before leaving the two of us.
She wound her arms around my neck, pressing her tiny body to mine. “You look very handsome,” she said, her eyes flicking down to my suit jacket.
I hated dressing in monkey suits, but if it got her to look at me like that, then it didn’t matter. I’d wear them every day. “Well, it is our first New Year’s together, and I wanted to make it special.” I smiled down at her, loving the way her eyes twinkled up at me.
“First? You planning for more?” She gave me a cheeky wink, but I understood the question.
“Many more.” I bent my head, slowly pressing my lips to hers before pulling back.
After many more dances, I took her hand in mine and led her outside. We had only thirty minutes until midnight and I wanted this to be done before then. I’d been a nervous fucking wreck all night and I just wanted to get it over with. Walking through the gardens, she smiled at all the twinkly lights that were spread around us. If I hadn’t known any better, I would have said it looked like the simple fantasy of heaven.
Technically it was. I had my angel right here with me. Life was looking pretty good.
I tightened my grip in hers, pulling her into my arms. As I rocked my hips from side to side, we slowly danced in a circle. Just the two of us. Surrounded by the lights. The moment was as perfect as it was going to get.
“Tillie,” I whispered against her hairline.
She smelled beautiful: a mix of strawberries and vanilla. Bringing her lips up to mine, I gave her a quick kiss.
/>
I smiled when I saw the faint dusting of pink chalk on her fingertips. I chuckled, imagining her doing some last-minute drawing in her frock before she came here.
She blushed, pulling her hand away, embarrassed that I had seen it. “I was surprised by tonight,” she whispered, allowing me to hold her hand, placing it against my chest.
“You were?”
“I was.” She nodded her head. “I kind of expected another college party.” She frowned, collecting her thoughts. “Either that or for it to just be you and me.”
“It’s just me and you now.” I smiled down at her. The nerves were creeping back up my spine, causing my feet to twitch.
“Are you okay?” She stroked the hair from my eyes with her other hand. “You look nervous.”
I took a deep breath before nodding. “I’m so fucking nervous.” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
“Talk to me,” she whispered. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Everything is perfect.”
The frown on her forehead creased. I was just confusing her more. I removed her hand from my chest and took a step back from her. It was now or never. Her hands dropped at her side before a look of hurt crossed her face.
I took her left hand in mine, needing this moment to be perfect.
“Before you, Tillie, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know that I was missing such a huge part of my life. College parties and sleeping around was just how it was supposed to be.” I shrugged my shoulders, disappointed that I’d thought that. “But then, this crazy, strange, quiet girl moved in across the street from me. She tilted my axis and suddenly my whole word seemed to re-align. What was down was now up. I could suddenly see what was right in front of me.”
Her eyes filled with tears before they slowly spilled over her cheeks.
“Tillie Jacobs.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I would love to share my home with you. For you to be mine completely. Mine to love. Mine to adore. Mine to protect.” I dipped my hand into my trouser pocket. I opened the small blue box and held it open to her. “Will you move in with me?”