The Soft Whisper of Dreams

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The Soft Whisper of Dreams Page 6

by Christina Courtenay


  Ms Wells nodded. ‘Yes, it’s not just babies that are adopted. Sometimes single mothers try to cope and later find they can’t. But we’ll know more about your case when we find that file.’

  ‘Oh, right. Okay. Well, goodbye.’

  Blindly, Maddie stumbled out of the little office, down the hall and out into the reception area. I was three when I was adopted? So she could have had memories from a time before after all. The dream – was it real?

  Jessie was waiting for her. ‘There you are! So how did it go?’

  Maddie handed her friend the piece of paper and walked towards the exit. ‘Let’s get out of here, I need air.’

  It was heaven to be back at Marcombe, and Maddie told Kayla so the minute she arrived. The peace of the big house wrapped her in a comforting cocoon, and the matter of her natural parents didn’t weigh on her mind here quite as much as it had in London.

  ‘It’s great to have you back too. Come and tell me what happened.’

  Maddie dug the piece of paper out of her bag and showed it to Kayla. ‘This is all the information I have at the moment, but I’ve sent off for a full birth certificate. I doubt if it will have any more details though, but the counsellor said she’ll be sending me the rest of my file when she’s found it.’

  ‘Found it?’

  ‘Yes, they’ve been saved in the wrong place or something. Not surprising really, they must have tens of thousands of records to keep track of.’

  ‘All the more reason to keep them in order, I would have thought, but I suppose no one is perfect.’

  ‘Yes, and guess what? Look at the date of my adoption – it shows that I was three when it happened, not a baby, so that dream I told you about could be real memories after all.’

  ‘Wow, how intriguing! But scary too, I suppose … Well, at least having these details is a step in the right direction.’ Kayla scanned the single sheet of paper. ‘Hmm, not much to go by, but if you’re lucky Shepleigh might be a tiny place and someone will remember. Are you going to go there?’

  ‘I don’t know. Perhaps, but first I’ll wait for the birth certificate.’

  ‘Good idea. And in the meantime ...?’

  ‘In the meantime, I’m going to have a holiday, like I promised myself when I first arrived here last week. It may be that I never find out anything at all, and for now I think I just want to forget the whole thing for a while. I’m sick and tired of it churning round my brain.’

  ‘Sounds like a good plan to me. How about we go and see what Annie’s cooking for lunch?’

  A week of glorious weather, outings to the cove and painting excursions around Marcombe Hall followed. Maddie tried to relax and leave the future to take care of itself. This holiday had been long overdue, and she was determined to enjoy it to the full, putting everything else out of her mind for the moment. She played happily with Kayla’s children and had long chats with her friend. From time to time, she also found herself in Alex’s company and although his brooding gaze unsettled her, he seemed to be making an effort to get to know her. Maddie wasn’t sure she should encourage him as she was determined not to become involved with any more players, but she didn’t want to be rude either. He was Kayla’s brother-in-law after all, so she couldn’t ignore him altogether.

  ‘What are you guys talking about?’ Kayla had come to inspect the sand castles Alex and Maddie were constructing for the kids while they chatted about this and that.

  ‘Alternative pop punk.’ Alex smiled at her. ‘Maddie and I seem to have the same taste in music.’

  ‘Seriously?’ Kayla made a face. ‘I didn’t think anyone else liked that stuff. It’s so noisy.’

  ‘You sound like a pensioner,’ Maddie teased. ‘You like some of the songs I played to you, admit it.’

  ‘Well, all right, but not the screechy ones.’

  Alex laughed. ‘You and Wes are definitely a match made in heaven. He said the same thing when we were in the car the other day.’

  ‘Then you two must be as well,’ Kayla shot back and scooped up Edmund. ‘Come on, young man, time to get some of this sand off you.’

  Maddie bent her head to hide her burning cheeks. Kayla was right in a way – their taste in music wasn’t the only thing she and Alex had in common. They seemed to like the same type of movies, books and TV programmes as well, which was a bit disconcerting. She’d never found anyone whose views were so in tune with her own. It made her wonder if he was just having her on in order to get in her good books.

  The truth was she didn’t want to have things in common with him. She didn’t want to like him, full stop. That way lay danger.

  ‘There’s a film on at the local flea pit which you might like,’ he told her ‘How about we go and see it one evening?’

  Maddie shook her head, without looking him in the eye. ‘Thanks, but it’s too hot to go to the movies. Maybe some other time?’ She hoped he’d take the hint and he did.

  ‘Right. Okay.’ But when she looked up, his eyes were narrowed, as if he was considering how to persuade her to reconsider. She hurriedly made an excuse and went to wash the sand off her hands.

  Damn it all, she didn’t want to spend time alone with him. Why didn’t he just ask Jenna? For some reason, the thought of him with the willowy blonde made her even more cross, but she told herself to get a grip. If she stayed firm, he’d soon find someone else to go out with.

  At the end of the week, the birth certificate arrived at last and Maddie felt as if her holiday was over. She stared at the green sheet of paper for a long time, the icy tentacles gripping her stomach once more. The time for decisions had come.

  Kayla, when Maddie finally ran her to ground in Wes’s office, appeared distracted but listened to her friend patiently nevertheless.

  ‘You’ve finally received it? And what does it say?’

  ‘It’s almost the same as the information the counsellor gave me, except for the fact that it gives the name and address of the informant of the birth.’

  ‘And who was that?’

  ‘John Kettering, brother of Ruth. It gives his address as Three Bluehouse Lane, Shepleigh, Wiltshire. I assume it must be where she gave birth to me, or at a nearby hospital.’

  ‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it? Now you have a starting point. He might even be living there still.’

  ‘Yes.’ Maddie sighed and absently twirled a red curl round a finger. ‘I just don’t know whether I should go on with this or not, Kayla. I’m not sure I can face it.’

  ‘Come on, if you don’t I think it will always bother you. Find out about your past and lay it to rest, once and for all. If there’s no mystery, you have nothing to worry about. Doesn’t it say anything more about your mother?’

  ‘No. The space where it should say her occupation has been left blank. Perhaps she was too young to work?’

  ‘Yes, that’s possible. Well, wait and see what the rest of your file says when they find it.’ Kayla stood up. ‘I’m sorry, but I haven’t really got time to chat at the moment. There’s been a bit of a crisis.’

  ‘Oh? I thought you looked a bit hassled when I came in. I’m sorry, I should have thought to ask you about it.’

  ‘No, no, it’s all right. It’s just that my father’s been taken to hospital with a suspected heart attack, and my mother wants us to come and stay for a while.’

  ‘Oh, Kayla, you should have said and not allowed me to rabbit on about my insignificant problems.’

  ‘They’re important to you, and anyway, my dad is in a stable condition and seems to be over the worst of it, according to Mum, so there’s no need to panic. She’s a nurse, you remember, and she should know. Still, I can’t help but worry and the first thing he said to her was that he wants to see his grandchildren. He dotes on them you know. As for Mum, I think she could do with some company.’

  ‘But what about your sisters and your brother? Can’t they help out?’

  ‘Bella is working long hours and can’t get time off at the moment, Anthea is only days away
from having her first child, and Vic is travelling around India. God only knows where he is! My mother hasn’t been able to contact him yet, she has to wait for him to phone. Said he wanted to be away from all the trappings of civilisation or some such rot.’ Kayla shrugged and spread her hands as if in defeat. ‘That leaves only us.’

  ‘Are you sure you want to bring the children? I can stay here and look after them if you want,’ Maddie offered. She could see the worry lurking in her friend’s eyes and knew precisely what she was going through. Although her own anguish had only lasted for a short while when she still believed there was hope for her parents’ survival, it was the same feeling of helplessness that Kayla must be experiencing now.

  ‘Thanks, but I couldn’t go without them. There is one thing, though ... would you consider staying for a while to house-sit when we’re away?’

  ‘Of course.’ Maddie had no hesitation in accepting. The next minute, however, something occurred to her. ‘But what about Alex? Shouldn’t you ask him first? After all, he is Wes’s brother and I’m just a friend.’

  ‘Oh, we already have. You’ll be doing it together.’

  ‘What? I mean ... oh.’ The thought of sharing the house with just Alex was disturbing, despite the size of Marcombe Hall. Maddie had successfully avoided being completely alone with Wes’s handsome brother since her return from London, but even his gaze did strange things to her. Without Kayla and Wes as a buffer of sorts, she wasn’t sure she could continue to keep her distance.

  ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ Kayla looked troubled once more. ‘I thought you were friends now. Anyway, he’s so busy with his cottages, you probably won’t see him much.’

  ‘No, um, of course not, we’ll be fine. I was just surprised, that’s all.’ Privately Maddie had her doubts, but she desperately wanted to stay in Devon a bit longer and had been afraid she was overstaying her welcome. Now she didn’t need to have any qualms about that. She would just have to remember her resolution about men and treat Alex as a brother.

  ‘You know what? I could sleep in one of the cottages and just check on Maddie from time to time while you’re away.’

  Ever since Wes had asked him to house-sit together with Kayla’s friend, Alex had been trying to think of a way out of it. How the devil was he supposed to share a house with her and keep his hands to himself? It would be agony. No, correction, it would be hell.

  ‘Don’t be an idiot. This house is so big, I doubt the two of you will even see each other more than in passing.’ Wes was distracted by trying to pack for an unspecified length of time away and didn’t even look at Alex.

  I wouldn’t bet on that. Alex clenched his fists inside his pockets. ‘Maddie might feel awkward though. What with me being a former criminal and everything.’

  Wes fixed him with a stern ‘older brother’ gaze. ‘Come on, cut it out. It’s all in the past and forgotten by everyone, Maddie included. You’ve got to stop thinking like that. It’s not like it’s tattooed on your forehead, you know. You two have been getting along just fine all week so where’s the problem? Now please, just do this for me, okay? I’d be happier knowing there was a man about the place. We can’t leave Maddie all alone here.’

  Annie never stayed in the house at night, except when she was baby-sitting late and Alex knew it. He swallowed a sigh. ‘Yes, of course. Don’t worry, I’ll be here.’

  He owed his brother big time and he was determined to make this work.

  Chapter Eight

  Kayla, Wes and the children left early the following day, and when Maddie came down to breakfast she found Alex sitting at the table, reading the paper. He looked up when she entered and said, ‘Good morning,’ then quickly returned to his paper.

  ‘Morning.’ Maddie looked out of the window. ‘Looks like another beautiful day. I can’t believe this weather, we’ve been so lucky this year.’

  ‘Yes, it’s glorious, isn’t it? Which reminds me, would you like to come sailing with me today? I thought I’d take Wes’s boat out. I haven’t really had much time recently and the sea is calling to me.’ He smiled and Maddie suddenly felt uncomfortably warm. She turned away to make some toast. Should she risk going with him or take the safer option of going to the cove? The thought of bobbing along on the waves with a salty sea breeze cooling her skin was very tempting. Oh, what the hell … She made up her mind, ignoring the voice of reason.

  ‘All right, that would be nice. But what about the house? We’re supposed to be looking after it.’

  ‘Annie will be here until we get back. What could happen in broad daylight?’

  ‘Yes, I guess you’re right. Okay, what time do we leave?’

  ‘Half an hour?’

  ‘Great.’

  In the end it took slightly longer since they decided to bring food with them. Alex helped her to make sandwiches, although she banned him from cutting the bread after the first slice turned out to be a very strange shape.

  ‘Honestly, Alex, haven’t you ever learned to slice bread? We don’t want to eat doorsteps, you know.’ She took the knife from him and proceeded to cut thin, even slices. ‘You do the buttering instead.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am.’ Laughing, he pretended to salute her. ‘I’ve never had to make perfect sandwiches, you know. Annie’s always done it for me, and if I wanted to make my own I didn’t care what size they were.’

  ‘Well, it’s about time you learned,’ Maddie muttered. Alex’s privileged childhood, with nannies and housekeepers always at his beck and call, was another thing that stood between them. He may not act the snob, but he was different from her, no doubt about it. She determined yet again to keep her distance although a little voice inside her head muttered something about a lady protesting too much.

  ‘Looks like the sea is fairly calm today,’ Alex commented as they headed out of the little harbour where Wes kept his boat moored. ‘You don’t get seasick, do you?’

  ‘I didn’t last time.’ Maddie had been pleased to find that she didn’t even feel slightly queasy during her previous trips in a boat. She’d been able to enjoy the experiences immensely.

  ‘Good, then you can help me sail her.’

  Maddie did her best to follow his instructions, although Alex laughed at her when she kept calling the various parts of the boat ‘that thing.’

  ‘Well I don’t know one end of a boat from the other,’ she said crossly. ‘And what’s more, I’m not sure I want to know. Maybe I’m perfectly happy just being carried along. It’s just a mode of transport.’

  ‘How can you say that?’ Alex exclaimed with mock horror and shook his head. ‘Honestly, these city girls, I don’t know ... Now come on, I need some assistance.’

  ‘With what?’

  ‘You could help me pull on this “thing” here, for instance. I could do it on my own, but it’s easier if two people do it.’

  Maddie made a face, but helped him all the same.

  ‘Thank you. Now wouldn’t you like to try your hand at steering?’ Alex indicated the tiller.

  ‘I don’t think that would be safe. I’d probably run us aground.’

  He laughed. ‘No way, there is no “ground” around here. Trust me. Come here and I’ll show you how.’ Maddie reluctantly joined him by the tiller, and he made her sit between his legs so he could help her steer by guiding her hand from behind. ‘Just remember to pull it the opposite direction to the one you want to go, okay? So if you want to turn left, pull the tiller to the right.’

  ‘Got it.’

  She tried to concentrate on his instructions, but found it extremely difficult. What she really wanted to do was lean back into his hard chest and let him wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. He was so close, she could smell his aftershave and the tang of the sea all around them. It was heaven, and it was hell.

  Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore. ‘I think I’ll leave the steering to you,’ she said and stood up abruptly. ‘If you don’t mind I’ll just enjoy the ride.’

  They sailed along the coa
st until they found a secluded cove which appeared to be deserted. Alex steered the boat in and dropped anchor, and they ate their lunch on the little beach. After the meal, Maddie stretched out on her towel and removed her T-shirt and shorts, leaving only a very skimpy bikini. Alex looked away.

  ‘You don’t mind if I sunbathe, do you?’ Maddie frowned. He had seen her in her bathing suit before, but she felt suddenly shy and turned over onto her stomach.

  ‘No, of course not. I think I’ll go for a swim.’ He stood up and removed his own shirt, and without giving her another glance he sprinted for the water.

  ‘Wait! You shouldn’t swim on a full stomach,’ Maddie shouted after him, but he either didn’t hear her or ignored her words. ‘Oh, never mind then.’

  When he returned, quite a while later, she was on her back again and the sun was beating down mercilessly.

  ‘Aren’t you cooked yet?’ he asked and couldn’t resist flicking a few drops of cold water onto her stomach. Maddie shrieked and jumped up. The cool droplets had been almost painful against her heated skin.

  ‘You beast! I’ll get you for that.’ She bent to pick up a handful of sand and threw it at him, covering his chest and abdomen.

  ‘Why you little ...’

  She didn’t stay to hear any more, but took off in the direction of the sea. He caught up with her just as the water reached her thighs, and grabbed her from behind, throwing himself down into the waves and taking her with him. They came up spluttering, and spent the next ten minutes or so splashing each other like children and horsing around.

  Finally Alex put up his hands to stop her from splashing any further, and shook his hair out of his eyes. ‘Enough! This is too exhausting.’

  Maddie laughed, then made the mistake of stepping towards him and looking up into his eyes. They both went very still and their smiles faded. The noise of the waves and the seagulls around them melted into the distance, and Maddie felt as if nothing existed except Alex and her. His next move seemed inevitable somehow and when his arms came up to pull her close they felt warm on her skin. She didn’t resist. She wanted to be even closer. As if he’d read her thoughts, he tightened his hold on her. Slowly his mouth came towards hers and she was powerless to break away. She didn’t want to anyway.

 

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