The salty kiss was soft and gentle at first, as he pressed his mouth against hers with infinite care. Maddie’s arms came up, apparently of their own volition, and she splayed her hands against his chest, feeling the powerful beat of his heart. He rained little kisses on her mouth, her nose and her cheeks, and she closed her eyes to savour them. Streaks of molten lava began to snake their way through her body, and she trembled with a desire stronger than anything she’d ever felt before.
This feels so right!
Alex traced the outline of her mouth with his tongue and she opened for him without thought. The kiss deepened and they explored each other for what seemed an eternity. When Maddie put her arms around his neck, he pulled her hard against him and she suddenly felt the whole length of him from knees to shoulders. His sun-warmed skin seared hers and she trembled. It was pretty clear that he wanted her very much, despite standing in ice cold water, and that thought jolted her back to reality. She broke off the kiss and turned her head away.
‘No, Alex,’ she whispered feebly. ‘We mustn’t ... I don’t want ...’
He drew in a ragged breath, but when she pushed at him he let her go straight away. Maddie’s legs wouldn’t hold her up and she fell into the water and floated on her back, staring at the sky. Inch by burning inch, her body cooled down.
‘Maddie?’ Alex took hold of one of her hands, and she put her feet down again. He looked like he was in pain, but in his eyes she saw something else. Misery? Sadness? She wasn’t sure. ‘I’m sorry, Maddie, I shouldn’t have done that. I just got carried away.’
‘It’s okay. It was the game. Let’s just forget about it.’ Maddie had a strange urge to take him in her arms and comfort him, as if he were a little boy. But he wasn’t; he was very much a man. She pulled herself together and headed for the beach. I mustn’t touch him ever again. Next time she might not be able to stop.
They continued sailing for the rest of the afternoon and attempted to recapture the easy camaraderie of the morning, but their conversation was strained and they didn’t quite manage it. Maddie almost heaved a sigh of relief when the little jetty hove into view and she could retreat to the house. She wanted to run all the way to her sanctuary, afraid of Alex, afraid of the feelings he evoked.
Afraid of her own weakness.
‘I need to go to Dartmouth to do my weekly food shopping and pick something up from my sister’s and Ben can’t drive me today. Have you got time?’ Annie asked Maddie the next day. Ben was Annie’s husband who worked as gatekeeper and gardener at Marcombe Hall.
‘Yes, of course. I can be ready in ten minutes.’ Kayla had left Maddie her little Mini to use while she was gone.
‘Oh, there’s no rush, take your time.’
An hour later Maddie dropped the older woman outside the supermarket.
‘Are you sure you don’t want any help, Annie?’
‘No, no, I’ll be fine. You go and buy whatever you need and come back for me in about an hour or so. Don’t hurry on my account.’
‘All right then. See you later.’
The centre of town was teeming with people as usual and after she had purchased a few items Maddie bought a huge ice cream and sat down on a bench by the small green. It was another scorching day. Here in the town it was a cloying, humid heat which was almost unbearable compared to the cooling breezes further down the coast at Marcombe. The ice cream was extremely welcome.
Maddie was wearing a big, floppy sunhat, but it made her head feel even hotter so she took it off and put it on the bench next to her. She ate slowly, savouring the chocolatey taste with its tang of coconut, and watched the people ambling past. Behind her, a group of teenage girls were giggling hysterically, while ogling and commenting on any boys that went past. Maddie wondered idly if she’d ever been that silly. She couldn’t remember, but she supposed she must have been.
When the ice cream was finished she stood up to find a litter bin in which to throw away the paper napkin and spotted one at the other end of the green. Leaving the hat on the bench, she walked unhurriedly towards the bin, and dropped the piece of paper in. As she turned, a woman bumped into her, and Maddie almost laughed. Was there something about her that made people walk straight into her, or was it this town? Perhaps the inhabitants of Dartmouth were not in the habit of looking where they were going. Her thoughts were cut short by a gasp of horror from the woman, who was staring at her with eyes that seemed enormous in her suddenly pale face.
‘Oh, no! Oh, dear God no ...’ Before Maddie’s astonished gaze the woman crumpled to the ground in a dead faint, and Maddie couldn’t react in time to catch her.
Neither could the lady’s companion, a young woman in her early twenties, who cried out in alarm. ‘Mother!’
Fortunately she’d fallen in the direction of the grass which cushioned her slightly so she didn’t hit her head on the gravel path at least. Maddie and the other girl knelt quickly by her side and, grabbing a newspaper the woman had dropped, Maddie began to fan her face with it. Several passers-by stopped to give them assistance.
‘Oh dear, what happened?’
‘I don’t know. She just fainted. The heat I suppose.’ Maddie didn’t tell them it had been the sight of her that seemed to have made the woman pass out. It sounded stupid, even to herself, but the girl threw her a puzzled glance, so she knew she hadn’t imagined it. Curious now, she studied the woman. It was difficult to tell her age, but Maddie guessed at mid to late fifties. The lady’s white-grey hair had been scraped back into a severe bun, making her seem even older, but the soft skin on her face was only slightly wrinkled. There were deep worry-lines on her forehead and around her mouth, and the bags under her eyes seemed to indicate either that she didn’t sleep well or that she cried a lot. Maddie was absolutely certain she’d never met her before.
The woman began to regain consciousness, but as her glazed eyes came to rest on Maddie’s face once more, she became agitated again.
‘No, go away. Please!’
‘Mother, don’t be silly, she’s only trying to help. You fainted.’
‘No! Go away! Oh, why won’t anyone ever listen to me?’ The wails rose into a crescendo of pitiful crying, and Maddie thought it best to remove herself from the vicinity. If her face was the cause of so much grief, there was no point in trying to be helpful. Perhaps I remind her of someone she’s lost? She shrugged at the girl, who looked apologetic but relieved at the same time, and stood up. Frowning, she made her way back to the bench and sat down, putting on the sunhat which thankfully was still where she’d left it. Why had the woman taken such exception to her? It didn’t make sense.
The wails behind her ceased shortly afterwards and as she risked a peek over her shoulder, Maddie saw the woman being helped to her feet. The passers-by who had stopped to offer assistance disappeared one by one, and finally the lady was alone with her daughter. She looked around furtively, as if searching for something, but Maddie bent her head down so her face was hidden by the brim of her hat and the woman didn’t spot her. Apparently satisfied, the lady set off almost at a run towards the nearest street without looking back, pulling the girl with her.
‘Mother, what’s the matter? Wait!’ Maddie heard the girl remonstrating with her mother, but apparently to no avail. The woman didn’t slow her pace.
Her curiosity well and truly piqued by now, Maddie decided to follow them.
‘I seem to be making a habit of this,’ she muttered to herself. ‘Maybe I should set up in business as a detective.’ This idea was too ludicrous and she smiled to herself while hurrying to catch up.
As she walked behind them, Maddie had a sense of deja-vu, and she soon realised why. The two women turned into the exact same street as the dark man had on the previous occasion, and when they hurried into the very same house as the minister, Maddie wasn’t surprised. Somehow it had been inevitable.
Stunned, she stood there staring at the door, just like the last time. Thankfully no one came to ask her any questions and she was left al
one with her thoughts, which were racing.
If the woman lived in the same house, she must be Mrs Blake-Jones. But why had the sight of Maddie upset her so much? It didn’t make sense, unless they had met before. Maddie shook her head. She couldn’t make head nor tail of it. Mrs Blake-Jones obviously thought she knew her – and feared her by the look of things – but Maddie didn’t recall ever having met her. However, she recognised the woman’s husband, who in his turn didn’t appear to know who Maddie was. What the hell is going on here?
Maddie rubbed her temples. Her head had begun to throb as the endless questions whirled around inside her brain. Nothing made sense anymore. She felt emotionally drained and unable to cope with it all. It’s too much.
She hesitated, wanting to knock on the door and demand some answers, but somehow she didn’t feel she had the right. Judging by the woman’s reaction to her, she definitely didn’t want to see Maddie. Mrs Blake-Jones had made that abundantly clear. This thought caused Maddie to shake her head once more and turn back towards the car park. She had to get to the bottom of her own mysterious background before she did anything else. Then perhaps she would have some answers. She glanced towards the house one last time, but all was quiet.
Chapter Nine
‘Mother, for heaven’s sake, would you just calm down and tell me what’s going on please? What’s the matter with you? Stop pacing around, will you!’
Mrs Blake-Jones came to a halt in the kitchen and sank onto a chair by the table. She slumped forward, burying her head in her hands. ‘Nothing, Jane, nothing’s the matter. It was just the sun,’ she mumbled. ‘Just the sun ...’
‘The sun. Right.’ Jane tapped her foot impatiently on the floor. ‘Mother, I wasn’t born yesterday. You fainted at the sight of that red-haired girl, and then you told her to go away when she was only trying to help. You were very rude, and you are never rude normally. Something strange is going on here.’ Jane was utterly baffled by her mother’s behaviour, and determined to get to the bottom of it.
Mrs Blake-Jones lifted her face to look at her daughter, and Jane gasped as she took in the sight of her mother’s tear-drenched cheeks. She hurried over to put her arm around the slight shoulders, and felt her shudder.
‘Mother, please, tell me what’s wrong.’
‘What’s going on in here?’ Her mother jumped at the sound of her husband’s voice and looked ready to faint for the second time that day. Jane saw all the blood drain out of her face and she appeared to freeze, gazing at her husband with the terrified eyes of a fawn staring into the barrel of a shotgun. Jane frowned.
‘Well? Speak to me.’ The Reverend Saul Blake-Jones wasn’t used to disobedience in his own house, as Jane well knew, and scowled at the two women.
‘It’s nothing, Father. Mother fainted when we were out, but I think it was just the sun,’ Jane hastened to placate him. The last thing she needed was one of his outbursts. She knew precisely what that would do to her mother.
‘I heard you mention a woman with red hair. Who was she?’
‘I-I don’t know. Her face seemed to upset Mother, but, er, I’m sure it was nothing. Just her imagination.’
The Reverend turned his hard gaze onto his wife and Jane felt her mother tremble violently. She gritted her teeth, wondering for the umpteenth time how she could persuade her mother to leave this house with her. It was as if her father had some hold over his wife and every time Jane tried to make her leave she was met with a blank refusal, even though she knew her mother would dearly like to escape her husband’s tyranny.
‘Is this true? You saw a red-haired woman?’ he asked, keeping his gaze fixed on his wife’s pale face.
She nodded.
‘Now why would that upset you, I wonder.’ He stroked his beard and regarded her thoughtfully, his dark eyes glittering with malice. It was Jane’s turn to shiver. For twenty years she had lived with this man who was her father. She knew she was supposed to love and obey him, but she found it impossible. He had bullied them once too often and she didn’t think she could stand it another second. She simply had to find a way to escape, but she couldn’t leave her mother behind. It would kill her.
‘Well, I can think of only one reason for that, my dear,’ he was saying now. He put his hands on the table and leaned forward, pinning his wife to her chair with his gaze. ‘And we both know what that is, don’t we?’
‘No, Saul, I must have been imagining things. Lots of people have red hair, you know.’ The answer came out in a strangled voice which Jane hardly recognised. She looked from one parent to the other, but they were oblivious to her presence. They saw only each other. And something else, but what?
‘I don’t think so. I knew it was a mistake, I should have taken care of the matter once and for all when I had the chance.’ He turned on his heel and marched towards the door.
‘No, Saul, please! Don’t ...’
He swivelled round and glared at his wife once more. ‘This was all your fault so don’t you dare say a word. Do you hear me?’ he roared, and Jane saw her mother’s face crumple as she began to sob loudly. ‘I’m not the sinner here and I’ll do as I see fit.’ And he left without a backward glance.
Her mother’s frail body shook with the force of her weeping, and Jane rocked her until the storm passed. When the sobs had turned into small hiccups, Jane finally dared to question her.
‘Please, Mother, can’t you tell me what this is all about?’ she whispered, not wanting to be overheard by her father again.
‘No, sweetheart. Please don’t ask me to. It’s better you don’t know.’
With an inward sigh, Jane gave up as the crying began again. She would have to look for answers elsewhere.
‘Maddie, there was a phone call for you. A friend of yours, I think.’ Alex came out of Wes’s office the minute she walked through the front door with Annie. He held out a piece of paper. ‘She left a number.’
‘Oh, thanks.’ Maddie glanced at the note and saw that the caller had been Jessie.
She turned around and found Alex staring at her as if he wanted to say something else, but he must have changed his mind and only nodded at her before heading back into the office. Maddie fled to her room and dialled the London number.
‘Jessie? It’s me. What’s up?’
‘I just wanted to see how you were getting on and to let you know that I’ve checked the marriage records online. Unfortunately there was no marriage for a Ruth Kettering, so I don’t know how you’re going to trace her. Have you heard any more?’
‘The birth certificate arrived the other day and there was a possible lead to be followed. My mother’s brother is listed as the informant and there’s an address for him in a small village in Wiltshire. But listen, something really strange has happened again ...’
Maddie flopped down onto the bed and proceeded to tell Jessie all about her extraordinary encounter with Mrs Blake-Jones and her daughter. ‘Do you think she knew my mother and is trying to keep her secret still? Her reaction was so weird. Although why someone in Dartmouth would know a woman from Wiltshire, I’ve no idea.’
‘I suppose it’s possible.’ Jessie sounded thoughtful. ‘Hold on a minute, I’ve just thought of something. God, I’m such an idiot!’
‘What?’
‘I can’t tell you now, in case I’m wrong, but I’ll call you again soon.’
‘But Jessie ...’
‘You know what? I think you should go to that village and ask around. People in tiny places have long memories. Your uncle might still be there.’
‘I thought of that, but it’s a bit awkward. I mean, what do I say? “Excuse me, but do you know of any illegitimate children who were born here twenty-seven years ago?”’
Jessie giggled. ‘No, of course not. Just pretend you’re the daughter of an old school friend of Ruth’s and your mum needs to get in touch with her or something.’
‘Oh, Jessie, I don’t know, I’m so bad at lying.’
‘Come on, you can do it. It’s the on
ly way. Anyway, I’ve got to go now. Talk to you next week. Bye.’
Her friend hung up, and Maddie was left staring at the phone.
She curled herself into the foetal position on the bed. She felt small and vulnerable, and alone. So alone. Of course she had Kayla and her friends, and perhaps one day she would have a family of her own, if she ever found the right man, but it wasn’t the same. Kayla didn’t know how lucky she was to have parents, a brother and two sisters, not to mention grandmothers, aunts and uncles. Maddie had thought that she had these things too, but now they were gone and even the ones she had had weren’t really hers. She hadn’t spoken to any of her adopted relations since the funeral, and no one had contacted her. She realised with sadness that she’d never really liked any of them anyway, apart from the wonderful couple who had been her parents to all intents and purposes.
She wanted to cry, but she felt paralysed inside, as if her tears were stuck in a block of ice she couldn’t melt. Her head still hurt and she rubbed her temples in soothing circles, but it was no use. Someone had crammed an iron helmet onto her scalp and forehead, and if she closed her eyes she could feel it tightening by the minute. It squeezed until she thought she would scream and she debated whether to have an aspirin, but she knew it wouldn’t help. The pain was coming from within her and until she could free herself of the feelings of despair it would remain.
‘Maddie, can I talk to you for a minute, please?’
‘Sorry? Oh, yes of course.’ Dinner had been a silent affair and Maddie was so lost in her own misery she’d hardly spoken to Alex at all. Now she followed him into the small, comfortable sitting room at the back of the house, which Kayla and Wes used when they weren’t entertaining. The red wallpaper and plush sofas made it a favourite retreat, and in wintertime a fire usually burned in the grate to add to the cosy feel of the room. Maddie normally always relaxed in here, but tonight her nerves were still on edge.
The Soft Whisper of Dreams Page 7