Welcome to Temptation/Bet Me

by Jennifer Crusie

  He pulled back and then slid deeper, and she bit her lip, weak with pleasure as heat thickened in her, and then she began to move with him, catching his rhythm, dizzy with the rightness of him, of them together. He whispered in her ear as he moved against her, telling her that he loved her, that she was beautiful, that she was his, over and over and over, until she could feel him everywhere, his voice and his breath and his hands and his body, all loving her, making her drunk with love and lust. She licked her tongue across his lips and she told him she loved him, forever, forever, no end, forever, and she felt him build in her blood, felt him everywhere, in her fingertips, behind her eyes, and deep and low where they were locked together, where the heat and the pressure and the tension twisted and tightened, glitter and stars, fusing into brightness sharper than anything ever before. He rocked higher, sharper, and she dug her fingernails into him and cried his name as he rocked again and again and then she broke, arching under his hands as he held her down, spasming helplessly as his body surged against hers. And then, while she was still clutching him, still gasping from shattering ecstasy, he shuddered, too, and collapsed into her arms.

  “Oh, God,” Min said, when she could speak again.

  “Good?” he said, breathless, and she nodded her head.

  “Very good. World class. Phenomenal.” She took a deep breath to stop the gasping and he slid his hand up to her breast where it belonged. She put her hand over his and pressed it tighter to her, and drew in another deep breath. “God, I love you.”

  “Good,” Cal said, looking exhausted. “I love you, too. Sorry we didn’t have time to talk about what you wanted.”

  “I wanted that,” Min said between breaths.

  “You got it,” Cal said, and rolled his head and caught sight of her clock. “Oh, Christ.”

  Min looked up at her curling brass headboard and drew in a deep sighing breath. “I think I might want to be tied to this headboard someday.”

  “Just for the record,” Cal said, “I usually last more than seven minutes.” He let his head fall back onto her pillow. “Of course, foreplay usually doesn’t last a month.” He took a deep breath. “Go ahead, tell me the statistics on how long foreplay usually lasts.”

  “Not long enough,” Min said. “You’re the exception. Maybe I’ll tie you to this headboard. And I’ll do the chocolate icing.”

  Cal closed his eyes. “Thank you. I’d like that. Make a list. We’ll do it all. Probably not tonight, but eventually.”

  Min curled into him as her pulse began to slow. “I’m so happy. I’m so crazy about you, and I’m so happy.”

  He rolled closer to her and kissed her, and she settled into him, safe and warm and satisfied.

  “I love you,” he said, and she opened her mouth to tell him that she loved him, too, when someone began to pound on her door.

  “What the hell is that?” Cal said.

  “My door?” Min said.

  “Did Diana forget her key?” Cal eased himself up into a sitting position. “Ouch. You’re a very athletic woman, Minerva.”

  “Not really,” Min said as the phone rang. “I got C’s in gym.”

  “They were giving you the wrong assignments.” Cal patted her on the hip and reached for his pants. “You get the phone. I’ll get the door. I’ll meet you back here. Stay naked.”

  Cal buttoned his shirt as he crossed Min’s living room, reminding himself that yelling at his future sister-in-law would be bad. That made him almost glad when he yanked open the door and saw David instead. He could yell anything he wanted at that dickhead.

  “Is Min here?” David said, looking smug.

  “Yes, go away.” Cal started to close the door and then remembered. “You won. I’ll send you a check tomorrow. Now go away.”

  “I don’t think so.” David blocked the doorway. “I have to see Min.”

  “David?” Min said from behind them, and when they turned, Cal lost his breath.

  She had her blue-violet comforter wound around her, and Elvis twining around her ankles, but her shoulders were bare, and she looked disheveled and rumpled, her gold-tipped curls tousled, her baby-doll cheeks flushed, and her full lips bruised and rosy, and Cal thought, I did that, and wanted her again so much that he took a step toward her.

  “God,” David said, slackjawed.

  “Mine,” Cal said. “Go away.”

  “You won,” David said, and shoved the check at him.

  “What?” Cal frowned at him. “No.”

  “The bet was for midnight,” David said, still staring at Min. “You’ve got more than two hours left.” He smiled at Min. “Guess Calvin the Great is also Calvin the Fast.”

  “Oh, for crying out loud,” Cal said as Elvis hissed at David and David took a step back.

  “It was for midnight?” Min’s voice was too high as she came closer to them, tripping over the comforter on the way.

  Minerva, what are you up to? Cal thought, and watched her with interest and rebounding lust.

  “Of course it was.” David smiled triumphantly at Cal. “All bets end at midnight.”

  Min hauled the comforter up again. “Do you mean to tell me,” she said, her voice breaking, “that Cal won this bet?”

  “Oh, yes,” David said, smugly.

  “Well, gee, thanks,” Min said in her normal voice as she took the check out of his hand. “I can always use ten bucks.”

  “What?” David said, losing his smug.

  Min smiled cheerfully at David. “I know Cal won it,” she said, “but we have this unwritten rule that I get all the money he wins on me. I’m picking up quite a bit of spare change that way, so this—” She looked at the check and almost dropped her comforter. “Oh, my God.”

  “Not ten bucks,” Cal said, yanking up the comforter before she lost it.

  Min looked up at him, appalled. “You bet ten thousand dollars you could get me into bed?”

  “No,” Cal said. “I’m going to get a T-shirt made that says, ‘I did not make that bet.’ ”

  “Ten thousand dollars,” Min said, looking at the check again. “If you’d told me about this the first night and offered to split it, I’d have slept with you then.”

  “Really?” Cal said.

  “No,” Min said.

  “I didn’t think so.” Cal took the check out of her hand and pushed it at David. “You can go now.”

  “What is that?” David said, pointing to the couch.

  Cal looked back and saw Min’s belt still draped over the arm.

  “He tied me to the couch,” Min said helpfully. “Then he ripped off my nightgown and smeared chocolate icing on me and licked it off. It was a nightmare.” She grinned. “If you leave, we can do it again.” She looked at Cal. “We’re not out of doughnuts, are we?”

  “If we are, I will run out and get more,” Cal said. “Run being the operative word.”

  David looked floored. “That’s . . .”

  Min waited.

  “. . . so not like you,” he finished.

  “Well, it wasn’t,” Min said. “It is now.”

  “But—” David began, and then Nanette and George pushed him out of the doorway to get into the room.

  “Oh, great,” Cal said, lust evaporating as George caught sight of him.

  “That’s what I came to tell you,” Min said, clutching her comforter more tightly. “David called Di, who called to warn me that he’d probably called some others.”

  “You,” George said, heading for Cal, and Min stepped between them.

  “You’re overreacting,” Min said to George.

  “I’ve never liked your apartment, dear,” Nanette said, looking around. Then she saw the green and white bag on the table. “Doughnuts?”

  “You should have been feeding me cocaine,” Min said to Cal. “I understand that’s slimming.”

  George stuck to his guns. “Min, David says this man made a wager that he could—”

  “No,” Min said. “David tried to get him to make that bet but C
al said no. Go yell at David.”

  “Then what’s this?” George ripped the check out of Cal’s hand. “This is—” He caught sight of the amount. “—for ten thousand dollars.” He looked at Cal. “You’re not only immoral, you’re reckless with money.”

  “I didn’t make the bet,” Cal said. “And no one will ever believe that.”

  “I believe it,” Min said, smiling up at him.

  “Then the hell with everybody else,” Cal said, and moved closer to her.

  George drew himself up. “Minerva, get your clothes on, you’re coming home.”

  “Dad, I’m thirty-three,” Min said. “No.” She reached out and took the check out of his hand. “Go home now. Take Mother with—”

  “Calvin,” a voice like ice said from the doorway.

  Cal looked around George to see his mother. “Oh. Wonderful.” He looked down at Min. “This is pretty much my fantasy. I finally make love to the woman of my dreams, and my mother shows up for the afterglow.”

  “Well,” Min said, trying to keep the comforter up. “It really isn’t a party until somebody brings the ice.”

  “Excuse me,” Nanette said, trying to push George out of the way. “You’re Lynne Morrisey, aren’t you?”

  Lynne looked at Nanette as if she were part of the work force.

  Nanette held out her hand. “I’m Min’s mother, Nanette? So pleased to meet you.”

  “How do you do,” Lynne said, without taking the hand, and turned back to Cal. “Calvin.”

  “Hello, Mother,” Cal said. “This is the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. If you don’t approve, we’ll spend the third Sunday of the month listening to Elvis at the diner. Your call.”

  Lynne looked at him for a long frozen moment, and then Cal saw Cynthie come through the doorway behind her, looking sheet white. “Cynthie?”

  “I called her,” Lynne said. “I felt that—”

  “No,” Cal said to them both.

  “You cannot be serious—” Lynne began.

  “Don’t push him,” Cynthie said, quietly. “That’s what I came to tell you. This is infatuation. It’ll pass. Give him time.”

  Cal shook his head and pulled Min toward the couch, away from the loons.

  “I’ll give him time,” George said, still scowling. “I’ll give the bastard—”

  “Oh, you’ll give him time,” Nanette snapped. “Like you’re not worse than he is.”

  “What?” George said.

  Min curled up next to Cal on the couch and laced her fingers with his. “So I owe you ten dollars since you made me wait until after nine-thirty.”

  “Yep,” Cal said, tightening his grip on her. “Except I won it on a bet on you, so you’ll just take it away from me again.”

  “I know what you’re doing,” Nanette said to George, rage in her voice.

  “I’m . . . yelling at the bastard who seduced my daughter,” George said, knocked off stride.

  “I know what you’re doing on your lunch hour,” Nanette said, murder in her eye.

  “I’m eating,” George said, perplexed.

  “Yes, but who?” Nanette yelled, and Min cringed and said, “Oh, God, Mother,” and Lynne looked at Nanette in contempt, and Cynthie closed her eyes, and David looked frustrated and confused and mad as hell, and then Liza walked in with Tony behind her and stopped, scowling at all of them.

  “What the hell is this?” she said.

  “Tony,” Cal said, an edge to his voice.

  “For the record,” Tony said to him, “I tried to stop her.”

  “Why didn’t you lock the door so these people couldn’t get in?” Liza said to Min.

  “I did,” Min said. “Cal opened it. Yell at him.”

  “Just hit me,” Cal said. “Save us all some time.”

  “What did you mean by that?” George said to Nanette, his face red.

  “Your lunches,” Nanette said, her voice rising. “You take your secretary to lunch every damn day.”

  “Loud voice,” Min said, thinking of her neighbors. “Not your loud voice.”

  “They’re working lunches,” George said. “I need a secretary to work.”

  “You never take me to lunch,” Nanette yelled.

  “You don’t EAT,” George yelled back.

  Min craned her neck to see around them to Liza. “You know, that bet was for ten thousand dollars.”

  “You’re kidding.” Liza looked at Cal, surprised. “You bet ten thousand dollars on—”

  “No,” Cal said. “Damn it, look.” He took the check out of Min’s hand and tore it in two. “See? No bet.”

  “We could have used that,” Min said, but she didn’t sound upset.

  They all began to talk, and Cal looked at Min and thought, All I want is to be alone with her for the rest of my life.

  “Hey!” he said, and they all looked at him with various degrees of contempt, despair, and rage. He picked up a doughnut and turned to Min. “Minerva Dobbs, I love you and I always will. Will you marry me?”

  “This is so sudden,” Min said, grinning at him.

  “We got an audience, Minnie,” Cal said. “You in or not?”

  “I’m in,” Min said, and he took her left hand, spread her fingers out, and slipped the doughnut over her ring finger, knowing with a certainty he’d never felt before that this was exactly the right thing to do.

  “I’ll get you a better ring later,” he said, looking into her dark, dark eyes. “I’ll do this better, too. This is just to get these people off our backs.”

  “Well, when you do this better, I’m going to say yes again,” Min said.

  “Thank you,” Cal said and kissed her, falling into her heat all over again. “God, I love you,” he whispered in her ear. “I can’t believe how much I love you.”

  “Okay,” Liza said. “Show’s over.” She looked at Lynne. “You have to be the mother. Don’t mess with Min. If Cal has to choose—”

  “Elvis,” Lynne said, her voice flat. She turned and walked out of the apartment.

  “Lovely woman,” Liza said, and turned to Nanette. “Now you. Your husband is not cheating on you. I know men and he’s not the type.” She looked at George. “Stop working through lunch and take your wife out to eat instead.” She turned back to Nanette. “And you. Eat.”

  Nanette’s face crumpled, and George put his arm around her. “I’m not cheating,” he said. “I don’t have the time.”

  “Dad,” Min said, but Nanette sniffed and said, “Really?”

  “I didn’t think I’d find you here,” Liza said to Cynthie, not unkindly. “It’s the book, isn’t it?”

  “No,” Cynthie said, staring hopelessly at the doughnut squashed between Min’s fingers. “No.”

  “Listen,” Liza told her, “nobody wants to hear an incredibly beautiful woman tell about how she landed an incredibly beautiful man. That’s just smug. Write a book about how you lost the love of your life and recovered. People could use that.”

  “I—”

  “It’s over, Cynthie,” Liza said. “He’s gone. Forever.”

  Cynthie’s face fell, and Liza turned to David.

  “And you are a worthless piece of garbage,” she said. “So do something decent and take Cynthie home.”

  “This is a mistake,” David told Min. “Do you know what this man is?”

  “Yep,” Min said, pulling a piece of chocolate icing off her engagement ring. “It’s okay. We’re going to evolve together.”

  “Out,” Liza said to him, and Cynthie left. Liza glared at David. “Well, go after her you vicious dork. Do something nice for a change instead of anonymous phone calls.”

  David drew himself up. “I didn’t—” he began, but Liza folded her arms, so he transferred his attention to Min. “He’s a terrible user, Min.”

  “No, he’s not,” Min said. “He’s a prince. And you’re a toad who makes anonymous phone calls.”

  “You never did understand me,” David said, and walked out.


  “What a fathead,” Liza said.

  “You’re going to marry this man?” George said to Min, sounding incredulous.

  “Yes,” Min said. “Don’t be mean to him, or you’ll lose us to Elvis, too.”

  George shot Cal a look that said, I’m watching you, buddy, and then turned on his heel and left.

  “Well, you’ll have beautiful children,” Nanette said, cheering up.

  “We’re not having kids,” Min said, and when her mother’s eyes narrowed, she added, “because you know I’d never lose the weight afterward.”

  “That’s true,” Nanette said, and then George came back and dragged her out the door.

  “All right then,” Liza said, looking around the emptied apartment. “My work here is done.”

  “Who are you again?” Cal said. “Because you look like this woman who keeps hitting me, but you seem to be on my side. Do you have an evil twin?”

  “I’m Min’s fairy godmother, Charm Boy,” Liza said, frowning down at him. “And if you don’t give her a happily ever after, I’m going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.”

  “What happened to ‘Bibbity bobbity boo’?” Cal asked Min.

  “That was Disney, honey,” Min said. “It wasn’t a documentary.”

  Liza went to the door and stopped when she saw Tony there, his arms folded. “Come on. You can yell at me on the way back to the restaurant.”

  “Nope,” Tony said. “That was good what you did.” He leaned closer. “Very hot.”

  “I’m not going to sleep with you,” Liza said, and went out the door.

  “Can’t blame a guy for trying,” Tony said and followed her out, closing the door behind them.