Daughters of Liverpool

by Kate Eastham

  Alice knew they weren’t far away. She had to control her breathing, and move very carefully. Quietly does it, she thought, trying to steady herself as she moved across the stone flags. Another tiny noise, a bit clearer this time, and she knew that she was heading in the right direction. Not far now.

  She could see a shadowed area; she knew that was the only place they could be.

  Jamie must have thought he was safe; she saw him step out of the shadow with the baby in his arms. She saw Victoria struggling against him, and she wanted to run straight there. But she needed to be careful, so she stepped back and crept slowly towards them, along the wall, keeping in the shadow. The closer she got, the more she could hear her baby, sobbing quietly now. Keep going, keep going, get closer, Alice was saying in her head.

  She judged the distance that would do. And then she ran at him headlong, grabbing the baby, trying to pull her free from his grasp. But he had her held tight now and Victoria was screaming. Alice could feel her small body, her small bones. How easy it would be to hurt her.

  ‘Let go, let go,’ she screamed, ‘let go of my baby!’

  ‘Your baby!’ he shouted. ‘Don’t you think I have a say in this? Don’t you think that as I’m her father, the law of the land would say that she’s mine?’

  ‘No,’ snarled Alice, still clinging on to Victoria but knowing she was caught now, caught between them, and she couldn’t use all of her strength to prise her free. If she did, Victoria would be hurt.

  Alice could do nothing except let go of her. But she didn’t move away; she stood right next to Jamie, staring at him fiercely.

  ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ she said. ‘If you move, I move with you. I can keep up.’

  She could see his mind turning things over. He was glancing around now, and then he moved closer to the top of the stone steps.

  ‘Stop,’ called Alice, not knowing what he was capable of, fearful of the height they were at. If he slipped, he could fall with the baby. Remembering how he’d looked at his child, she knew that he wouldn’t do anything deliberately to hurt her. But if his foot slipped, if he fell all that way down, it didn’t bear thinking about.

  He stopped then, and gave her a strange smile, and, as if reading her mind, he moved again, right up to the edge of the step.

  ‘No, no!’ wailed Alice, having no choice but to follow.

  They were standing at the edge now, at a dizzying height for Alice. She couldn’t look down, but she would stand there for as long as it took.

  ‘Give her to me,’ she said firmly.

  ‘She’s mine,’ said Jamie, pulling her closer.

  ‘How will you look after her?’ she asked, her voice shaking, desperate to try a new tack.

  ‘I’ll find a way,’ he said. ‘I’ll tell people that I married in Australia, that she’s mine and her mother is dead.’

  ‘They wouldn’t believe you, Jamie. And I would follow you, I’d tell them that you were lying. That Victoria is mine.’

  ‘No, you wouldn’t,’ he growled, grabbing the front of her bodice with one arm and somehow managing to swing her round, so that in one terrifying second she was hanging over the edge of the top step.

  Alice heard a scream, so loud it filled her body. It rose and fell like the waves of the sea. Her body was rigid, straining, and her heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was about to break through her ribs. The scream went on and on. And then she realized, it was coming from her own mouth.

  She didn’t know what happened next but she heard a growling and a scuffling on the steps below her, then she felt Jamie rear backwards, dragging her with him. A dog was barking and snarling and she could hear Victoria screaming. She saw her struggling against Jamie, still held by him, but only with one arm. Alice knew this was her chance. She threw herself forward and grabbed her baby, then immediately ran back, well away from the edge, desperately checking her as she ran, making sure that she was warm, that she wasn’t injured. As she stood well away, she rocked the baby, and Victoria’s screaming started to settle to broken, ragged sobs.

  She could see that Jamie was being held at bay by a thick-set dog, a white dog with a menacing growl. And then Alice realized she recognized the dog: it was Stanley. And appearing now just above the top step was Mr Swain – panting for breath, doing his best to shout at Jamie, crawling up over the step on his hands and knees.

  Alice ran forward to help him stand, but he had no crutches, so he propped himself into a sitting position. She could see that Jamie was still held at bay by the dog.

  ‘Nurse Sampson!’ cried Mr Swain, shocked to see his nurse struggling with a man outside St George’s Hall. ‘I heard a scream and I knew it was desperate, so I sent Stanley up and I followed on my hands and knees.’

  ‘Get this dog off me,’ shouted Jamie. ‘Call it off!’

  ‘Not yet,’ said Mr Swain, the breath wheezing in his chest. ‘Not till this young lady and her baby are safely out of the way.’

  ‘Well, that young lady has had her baby, my baby, out of wedlock. She is living in a house of sin. I am trying to rescue my child.’

  ‘You think it right to forcibly remove a child from its mother?’ gasped Mr Swain, desperately trying to regain his breath. ‘And so what if she has a child out of wedlock? Well, from what you’ve just told me, the same goes for you. And there are far worse things in this world, believe me.’

  Jamie growled an inaudible response and lashed out at the dog with his foot.

  Stanley yelped, and then flew back at him, sinking his teeth in further this time. Jamie was screaming in pain now, desperately trying to shake the dog from his leg.

  ‘He won’t release you until I give the word,’ gasped the veteran.

  ‘Get it off me, get it off!’ screamed Jamie, trying to kick the dog with his other leg but losing his balance.

  ‘If I give the command, my dog will let go, but if you make one move towards this woman and her child, I will send him back, and he will have you again; he will bring you down to the floor if need be. Once he smells blood, there’s no stopping him.’

  ‘Get him off,’ begged Jamie, desperate now. ‘I’ll go, I’ll leave straight away, as soon as I’m free.’

  ‘Stanley. Leave,’ said Mr Swain firmly, and, immediately, the dog let go. As he trotted back to his master Alice could see a glint in his dark eyes.

  Jamie shot a look of pure hatred across to Alice before limping away, leaving a trail of blood behind him. Before he disappeared down the steps, he shouted back over his shoulder: ‘I’m going home, Alice. I’m going home and I’m going to tell your family everything.’

  ‘Tell them what you want,’ Alice yelled back, with every last ounce of her strength.

  19

  ‘Every feeling, every thought we have, stamps a character upon us, especially in our year of training, and in the next year or two.’

  Florence Nightingale

  Alice leant against the wall, clinging to Victoria, who was whimpering in her arms. Her whole body was shaking uncontrollably and she had to take deep breaths to try and get back some control.

  ‘Are you all right?’ she called over to Mr Swain who sat, slumped now, beside his dog.

  ‘I am,’ he said. ‘I just need a bit of time to get back some strength so I can lower myself down those steps.’

  ‘I can’t believe you managed to get up them,’ she said, her teeth starting to chatter.

  ‘Neither can I,’ he said. ‘I just heard a scream and acted instinctively. It’s a good job I could send Stanley up, though. I wouldn’t have stood a chance against a young man like that on my own.’

  Alice couldn’t answer, she was still shaking and chattering, but already she was starting to form a plan in her head. She needed to get herself, the baby, Mr Swain and the dog all back down to the bottom of the steps safely, which would not be easy.

  ‘I think you should go down in a sitting position, one step at a time,’ she said, and he nodded. ‘I’ll wait till you’re down and then I’ll foll
ow. I might be less shaky by then.’

  ‘Good plan,’ said the veteran, already shuffling himself along to sit on the top step. Alice watched as he disappeared from view, and then she walked slowly to the edge to make sure that he was safe. She saw him using his arms to lever himself on to each step as he went down, one at a time, the dog keeping pace beside him.

  Alice was recovering fast now. She was wrapping the baby firmly in her shawl and speaking soothingly to her, then she crouched down and slipped her legs over the top step. Her legs were still a bit weak, so she used the same method of descent and went down on her bottom, one step at a time, cradling Victoria on her knee as she went. Standing up as soon as she reached the last step, Alice was then able to haul Mr Swain up and help him retrieve his crutches.

  ‘I’m so glad that you heard me, Mr Swain. I don’t know what would have happened without you and Stanley. You saved me from God knows what. I am so grateful.’

  ‘All part of the service,’ he said, smiling. ‘From patient to nurse. I was just glad that it all worked out. Whatever was he thinking, snatching a child away like that? Now, I need to make sure that you get back to your lodgings safe and sound …’

  ‘I don’t think there’s any need,’ said Alice, looking over to spot Marie and Lizzie frantically looking around in all directions as they stood across the street. ‘It looks like they’ve come for me.’

  ‘Oh my God, Alice,’ cried Marie, grabbing hold of her. ‘Whatever has happened? I just heard a man’s voice, a scream and the pounding of feet. And you were both gone! I thought we might find you dead.’ Marie was crying now and Lizzie was fussing over Victoria. ‘Is she all right? Who was it? Who took her?’

  ‘It was Jamie,’ croaked Alice, his name sticking in her throat.

  ‘Has he harmed her? Is she all right?’

  ‘She’s all right. Thanks to Mr Swain, she’s all right …’ repeated Alice.

  Marie took the man’s hand and shook it vigorously, almost knocking him off his crutches. ‘I know you, don’t I? You used to be a regular at our place?’

  ‘I did, yes, but not for some time now.’

  ‘Let me and Lizzie help you. Where do you live? We’ll help you back.’

  ‘No, no … please,’ he said. ‘All I want is that you make sure that Nurse Sampson gets back home safely with the baby. My dog will look after me. Please, just go.’

  ‘Thank you again, Mr Swain,’ said Alice. ‘I won’t ever forget what you did for me and Victoria.’

  Back home, Marie put more fuel on the fire. ‘You’re still shaking, Alice,’ she said, bringing a warm blanket to wrap around her. ‘Now, just let me have Victoria, that’s it,’ but Alice clung more tightly to her baby. ‘Let me have her, Alice, she’s safe with me. I just want to check her over, and then I’ll give her a bottle. I’ll sit right by you, right here.’

  Alice nodded, handing her daughter over, and then she brought her knees up to her chest and sat with her arms wrapped around them, like she used to as a child.

  When the feed was done, Marie pulled the crib across and placed Victoria in it, right next to Alice. ‘She seems fine now,’ she said gently. ‘No harm done. We’ll let her get some sleep.’

  Alice nodded again and then reached a hand over and rested it on her precious daughter as she slept in the crib. She didn’t want to move. She would have sat up all night if it hadn’t been for Marie insisting that she get changed, have a hot drink and go to bed. Alice saw Stella and Lizzie there as well, but everything seemed to be in a haze. She saw them carrying Victoria’s crib through and then Marie led her to her bed and tucked her in as though she was a little girl, giving her a kiss and saying goodnight.

  ‘Now don’t forget, Alice,’ she said. ‘Stella will go up to see Ada, first thing, and explain what’s happened here. They won’t be expecting you back at the hospital tomorrow.’

  Alice nodded her head, but she wasn’t really sure what Marie was going on about. Of course she would go to work the next day. Sister Law was expecting her; the patients needed her.

  That night, as Alice lay in her bed, with Victoria sleeping quietly beside her, she entered a strange, unearthly state that was neither sleeping nor waking. She turned from side to side, lay flat on her back and then shot straight up in bed, gasping for air. Checking that her daughter was still beside her. Lying back down again, only to wake with a start, feeling somebody clutching at her. When she did finally sink into sleep it was only to dream that some black creature had crawled from the side of the room and it was lying across her chest, crushing her. She needed to fight and scream and kick to get it off. Over and over she needed to wrestle with it, until at last it was gone and she could breathe. And then, when she opened her eyes, not sure if she was awake or still dreaming, she glanced to check her baby in the crib and then she looked up to the whitewashed ceiling of her bedroom and saw shimmering circles of reflected light, breaking into a rainbow of colours. As she lay, she started to smile, she breathed in the light and the colour. And then Victoria made a small noise, as if crying out in her sleep, and Alice sat bolt upright again in bed, her heart pounding.

  Muttering to herself, she swung her legs over the side of the bed so that she could sit and gaze at the dark outline of her sleeping child, and listen to her rhythmic breathing. Alice sat like that until the light of day began to peep through her window, until she could be sure that they had both come through the night safely. When she lay back on her pillows again, she felt the remembered weight of that dark shape that had plagued her, and felt it start to creep back over her. But she would not have it. She pushed it straight away, out of her mind, determined to bring the circles of warm colour back to mind.

  Eddy was straight there to see her the next day. Without even stopping to remove her cape and hat, she came directly into Alice’s small room and crouched down beside the bed.

  ‘What time is it, Eddy? I need to be getting to work.’

  ‘You don’t need to worry about anything, Alice,’ she said. ‘We got the message from Stella. Miss Houston is aware, she’s spoken to Sister, and they’re not expecting you back until the day after tomorrow.’

  ‘But what about the patients? The ward is busy …’

  ‘The ward is always busy, Alice. And really, it’s all fine. Besides, you’re not in any fit state to go in today, are you?’

  ‘I suppose you’re right,’ said Alice wearily, barely able to sit herself up in bed.

  She rested back against the pillows and then her body was shaking and she started to cry, big sobs that wracked her body. Eddy held on to her, cradling her. ‘There, there,’ she said, ‘just let it all out, let it out.’

  Alice sobbed until her eyes were sore. And then Eddy dipped a flannel into a bowl of water that Marie had brought through and she carefully wiped her forehead, and then her eyes and then her lips. ‘There, there,’ she said, over and over, ‘you’ll feel better soon.’

  ‘Do that again,’ said Alice, enjoying the feel of the cloth and the warm water on her face. ‘It feels so soothing.’ Eddy dipped the cloth again and repeated it, and then she immersed the flannel, wrung it out and placed the whole thing across Alice’s forehead.

  ‘That feels so good,’ she said. ‘Thank you, Eddy.’

  And then Alice started to giggle.

  ‘What?’ said Eddy, but Alice couldn’t speak at first; all she could do was giggle and then she was laughing and then she managed to get the words out. ‘I was just thinking about poor Millicent Langtry and her wet flannel, going round the ward, looking for customers. Maybe she’s on to something after all. It really is very soothing.’

  ‘Millicent the ministering,’ laughed Eddy.

  They were still laughing when they heard Victoria starting to wake up. Eddy was straight there, pulling her out of the crib and handing her to Alice.

  ‘Hello, my darling, what a time we’ve been having. It’s a good job we’re tough, isn’t it?’ murmured Alice, leaning in to give her daughter a kiss on the cheek. ‘We’
ll just keep going, us two, won’t we? Me and you together?’

  ‘Is it likely he’ll come back?’ asked Eddy.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ said Alice. ‘I know Jamie – if he loses face, he doesn’t come back, and I’m pretty sure he will have gone straight home. I can’t be certain, but that dog gave him a very nasty bite. I don’t think he’ll be back.’

  ‘We’ll be vigilant, just in case,’ said Eddy. ‘And Marie said that Stella’s spoken to some of the fellas she knows hereabouts and they’ll keep a look-out.’

  ‘You are all so good,’ said Alice, on the verge of tears again.

  ‘We are, aren’t we?’ replied Eddy, laughing and putting an arm around Alice’s shoulders. ‘But we all work together here, don’t we, with each other and for each other. Right?’

  ‘Right,’ said Alice quietly.

  ‘So dry your tears, Alice Sampson, because one day you might be the one who’s helping me or Maud or Stella or Marie or any of the women that we know.’

  Alice nodded and wiped her tears with the flat of her hand.

  ‘I’ll see you again this evening, but right now,’ said Eddy, jumping up from the bed, ‘I need to get back to my daily round. And when you’re feeling strong enough, we’ll go out to the sailors’ church and you can pay your respects to that patient of yours.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Alice.

  ‘Let me take the baby now, you get some more rest,’ said Marie, coming into the room as soon as Eddy had gone.

  Alice lay back on her pillows but she couldn’t settle in the bed; she needed to breathe some air. She got up, still in her nightgown, and walked out to the back. There was no washing on the line today to catch the breeze, so she felt that she had some space. Sitting on the bench, she rested her head back against the solid wall of the house. Her head felt tight and sore, and she realized that her hair was still pinned back from the day before. Leaning her head forward, she took out the pins, one by one, and laid them on the bench beside her. Once her hair was loose, she leant further forward and ran her hands through it, enjoying the feel of it between her fingers, rhythmically running her hands through it, catching the faint scent of the soft soap she used as shampoo. She felt like a child again, on bath night. She’d always been the first, the youngest, so she had the water before her brothers got in. She’d loved the warmth of it, in the bath in front of the fire. And it had been the only time that her mother had seemed calm with her. She wished that she could bring her bed out here, to the back yard.