The Big Cry Wolf

by Nina S. Gooden

  Reluctance was written all over his face. “Do you remember the tree you saw? It is a sapling from the Uppsala, known best for its … unique ability to transfer strength from one individual to another.”

  “You mean from one man to another? To make one of them stronger?”

  “No. I mean from a sacrifice to a host.”

  I recoiled with shock. “You were going to kill him, weren’t you? To take his strength.”

  Aldrich vibrated with some emotion I couldn’t peg. For several moments I thought he was going to refuse to answer me, but he seemed to take hold of himself. “It’s not so simple. The Pack does not function as humans do. We are one. We do what is in the best interest of the whole.”

  “He’s dead. Hrodulf is dead, isn’t he?”

  “His mate took both of them into the tree, yes. I did not do it myself, as I was supposed to.”

  I tried to keep my voice level. Obviously, this was a practice many years in the making and I doubted I had the power to change it. That didn’t erase my horror. “I wasn’t supposed to be there. You said that yourself.”

  “No. I thought it was understood that you would wait before the doors to the courtyard and I would bring you the offering from the tree.”

  Once again, he was going to shelter me from something unpleasant. Like a child. Too bad he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. I winced, remembering how the thorns had sunk into my skin. It’d felt like something had been pushed into my body. “Finish explaining how it works.”

  He waited for a moment, watching my face carefully. I felt like he was waiting for some kind of disgusted reaction so I kept my face impassive. “The Primogen was dying. More than that, he had used the last of his living energy months before and had begun to leach off that of his mate. He wanted to pass on.”

  I gasped, but shook my head when he stopped. “Keep going.”

  “The Storm Ceremony isn’t only to prepare the next Primogen. I told you the Uppsala can give power from a sacrifice to another being, but it can also store power within a vassal. It is something that we wolves have done for centuries in order to strengthen the Guardians of the Forest. We give our last breaths to them, so that they might continue to protect our descendants.”

  I held up a hand, working through what happened in my head. Otsana had faded into the tree with a revelation of peace and gratitude on her face. I hadn’t realized it at the time but now that I pictured it again, I thought that I could feel the energy swirling around me.

  “And the offering you mentioned … that was part of what they gave to the tree?”

  “That was a drop of what every Primogen and Primarch past gave.”

  I sat for a moment, dissecting the information. I could understand, now, why Aldrich hadn’t wanted me anywhere near the ceremony. It was bloody, disturbing, and rough … but it was also exactly what I would expect from a ceremony of wolves.

  He was right—it wasn’t like the human world. But if I was to have any chance of making it here, I needed to toughen up and stop looking at everything like a human. I wasn’t in that world anymore.

  “They took something from me. In exchange for what I was offered. That’s why I was hurt.”

  The reminder seemed to break the last strand of Aldrich’s slipping control. He bolted off the bed in a show of anger I couldn’t have missed if I were deaf. Once again, the hair down his back threatened to bleed that inky black. The sturdy coffee table shattered into wooden splinters. Another roar pounded through the air. “I didn’t protect you!”

  Used to the sudden need for new furniture by now, I barely flinched at the explosion. That table had been nice. I idly wondered where he’d gotten it. Not that it mattered, what with him busily pounding it into dust.

  What did have ice building in my lungs were his words. Protect me. That’s what he did, after all. The voices were right. No matter what happened around us, I was always the one who needed defending. Who would take care of Aldrich if I was always the weaker party? I sighed, standing up slowly and walking over to him. I don’t know if he heard me over the fury tearing through his body, but he jerked when my hand touched his shoulder.

  “You can’t always protect me, Aldrich. Sometimes I will have to protect myself.”

  A whine lanced through the cave, high and sad. It tugged at my heart and I swallowed as Aldrich brought a thick lock of his hair up to his face. He stiffened again when the dark tresses smoothed back to their normal color. “Yes, you are correct. I cannot always protect you. They fear me, you know. The other wolves. Respect me, yes, but they fear me … just as you will one day.”

  The way he spoke, so desperate and sad … it wasn’t like him. He was strong, my wolf. Alpha. More powerful than anything or anyone. He’d once taken a silver bullet for me without hesitation. Without complaint. Silver that pumped agonizing poison into his veins. Silver I knew had made weaker wolves pray for death. To sound so defeated … it wasn’t like him at all. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  Aldrich stalked to the other side of the room, refusing to look at me. I stood shivering from the loss of the warmth of his body. “I … cannot. My shame is my own burden to bear.”

  There was that two-toned voice again, telling me all was not well here. I moved carefully, palms outstretched. “I am your mate. You were the one who told me that. If you can’t talk to me, who will you trust?”

  Powerful shoulders bunched. “Not myself. Never myself. There’s blood on my hands. They will never let me in.”

  It was my turn to stiffen. “That phrase. Let you in … do you mean…?”

  The blood spattering his fur the night of the attack. There had been so much blood.

  I ran my tongue over my lips, picturing the damage that had been done. The Alten had been covered in it as well. At the time, I had assumed the blood was because Aldrich had gone on the hunt with them. Later, I’d hoped it was just the fever playing tricks on me. But what if I was wrong? What if … he had killed someone?

  “Yes. I do. I tried to stop myself. The Wolf. His voice is so loud in my head.”

  Aldrich pressed his big hands to either side of his head and I winced as he pushed. Enough pressure to crush a stone into powder rippled through his arms but beneath his palms all that appeared was the extension of wolf ears. They popped out from under the powerful digits, ignoring how hard he fought to keep them hidden. Springing free, they twitched defiantly.

  I should have been scared but all I could manage was annoyed. “Aldrich, stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” I marched toward him, ignoring the slap of my bare feet against the ground. My hands clapped against his wrists and he flung his arms out wide.

  I didn’t have any chance to respond. He snapped me up, strong arms lifting me clear off the ground. My heartbeat took off, but I doubt it was reacting the way it should have been. With a snarl, he pulled me close to his chest and I barely managed to hold back a giggle. Long, wicked claws slid from his fingertips even as his bones cracked to house them.

  “Do not push me, mate. You do not know what I am capable of.”

  I couldn’t help it. I threw my head back and laughed. The sound cleared the threatening miasma in the air, making it easier to breathe. Aldrich blinked, confused, and I watched him through tearing eyes. Those teeth lengthened and sharpened in his mouth, razors preparing to rip me to shreds. I continued to laugh, using his strength to swing up and kiss him on the nose.

  “Silly Wolf. You’re not going to hurt me. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Even as he held me, he was careful of my assortment of wounds, considerate enough not to do any more damage.

  Black eyes glittered with confusion and slowly amusement. “I am dangerous.”

  I slid to the ground, but not before my own fingernails scraped against his upper body. Swirls of sweet warmth mixed with the mirth in my head, making me feel happy and light. “Without a doubt.” Muscles bunched at his chest and I giggled, running my palms over the firm planes.

 
; “You shouldn’t be looking at me like that.”

  The breath I let out was little more than a whisper. “Like what?”

  His head ducked closer to mine. His unique scent wafted over me and I took it deep into my lungs. “Like you want me to kiss you.”

  I waited, tingling. We were alone. Far from interruption. “If you know what I want why aren’t you giving it to me?”

  He lifted his hand, complete with lethal claws. I smiled up at him without flinching, trusting him completely. It settled over my eyes and he leaned down to blow hot air into my ear. “I will not touch you like this, when Wolf is so close to the surface.”

  I started to protest but he pushed harder. “Let’s do this instead. Focus on my voice. My breath against your skin.”

  Goosebumps rose up all over my arms. I nodded slowly, standing on tiptoes to get closer to him. Every fiber in my body was attuned to his. His heartbeat echoed in my chest, his lungs expanded to take in each of my breaths. Warm palms ran over my shoulders, down my back and across my stomach. “Aldrich … please…”

  His low chuckle pulsed through my blood. “Keep focused, sweet mate. In, out … in, out.”

  I was focused all right. The rhythm he whispered was perfect. Slow, deep, and forceful just like his voice. I weaved a little and he pressed me tighter to his body. Every hard ridge, every perfect dip cradled my softer curves.

  “You’re breathing too fast, liebling. Relax; take me into you. Breathe.”

  His fingertips found the base of my spine and caressed upward. I took a breath spiked with power. I gasped, expelling it immediately and he grunted with displeasure, taking my fluttering hand into his steady one. “Don’t run from it. It will feel like you’re drowning, but don’t fear. It’s always there, just waiting for you to take it in.”

  He wound his fingers around my wrist, his thumb running over the sensitive flat of my palm. “Trust me. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

  His next breath snaked through the air, wedging itself in the cracks our bodies made. It formed invisible fingers, ran a blunted digit along my jaw. It moved along my body like I wanted him to do. “Let me in.”

  My lips parted on their own accord and the mist sank into me. I jerked again, this time managing to keep from stiffening up, but only barely. The essence dropped into my lungs, ran along in my bloodstream. It fused with my being, building me up and puffing up my chest. When the roar in my ears finally died down, I realized I was panting, feeding eagerly on what he was offering.

  The weight of his hand lifted off my face. “Can you feel it? Let it settle.”

  I blinked eyes suddenly too sensitive to the light and knew mine were a mirror of his own. One white, one black, the way it was whenever I managed to tap into his power. “What just happened?”

  He shrugged large shoulders and I watched the movement as if hypnotized. Each delicious flex of muscle made my mouth water and it was plain to see he was every bit as affected as I was.

  “You wanted the ability to protect yourself; I have just taught you a small way to do so. You may not realize it, but there is a great deal of the Wolf within you. He’s given part of himself to you for safekeeping. That means you can draw on his power. You’ve seen me use it before, primarily to clothe myself after shifting, but it can also be a tool in battle. That was the first step of wind-weaving.”

  I took another deep breath, trying to summon it back. He watched me gulp down several breaths to no avail before a chuckle escaped his lips. I frowned. “What am I doing wrong?”

  “You do not need his power now.” He shifted his weight, pressing against me slightly. The hard length of his arousal jutted upward, bigger and thicker than I remember in our ceremonial lovemaking. You know, the one that hadn’t actually happened. “Oh my.”

  A low, pained chuckle slipped out of his throat and he reached for me with promise in his eyes. “Roux…”

  A howl just outside of the cave cut through what he was about to say. His fist balled with annoyance and I took a guilty step backward. Guilty? Why was I feeling guilty, this was my man. Raising my chin against my own instinct, I took two steps closer to him just because I could. The lower half of his body brushed against mine and we both bit back a little moan. “You are going to be the death of me, mate.”

  I laughed, a nervous little sound that was more breath than mirth. “Only if you don’t kill me first.”

  That wiped the amusement right off his face and I silently cursed myself for forgetting how afraid he was of hurting me. I opened my mouth to correct my blunder but the damage was already done. He gently pushed me aside. “The Council wishes to speak to me; we have to go,” he said in a no-nonsense tone.

  I nodded dumbly, not knowing what to do. Being thrust into a community of wolves was one thing. For that, I could fake a brave face and call it good. Not knowing where I stood with Aldrich was much more difficult, and a hell of a lot more painful. If I could have taken my eyes off his mouthwatering body at that moment, I would have, but there was no hiding the fact that he was still painfully aroused. He wanted me, but I wondered if he would ever actually let go long enough to take me.

  * * * *

  The Council whisked Aldrich away the moment we crossed back into the stronghold.

  “Don’t worry, Princess. We’ll take good care of him.” Daciana’s soft voice was soothing as she patted my shoulder. The small woman, with her brown hair offered me a friendly smile and a piping hot bun from the tray she was carrying. “Why don’t you go see Wilhelmina? She’s been asking about you for a while now. I’m afraid she might be worried.”

  I sighed, trusting Aldrich would be okay in her company. That was Daciana, always thinking about others. She was without a doubt one of the nicest people I knew, wolf or not. “I’ll go find her.”

  She patted my shoulder once more. “I believe she’s with the prisoner.” She hesitated for a moment before continuing. “You know, usually it’s the Primarch who sees to any captives while they await trial. She is the first protector of house and home, after all. Perhaps you should also see if the bear needs anything, within reason. We don’t torture our guests … for the most part.”

  She laughed, so I didn’t know whether or not she was kidding. Either way I nodded, “I’ll do just that. Thank you again, Elder.”

  “My pleasure.”

  We went our separate ways and it only took me half an hour to find where the boy was being held. It wasn’t a dungeon as I expected, but a collection of huts away from the villages. Each hut was reinforced with silver plating and brick, offering a sturdy but impenetrable cage. His was the only one occupied at the moment and three wolves stood toward the middle of the little judgment zone, outside of the actual buildings.

  Each of them nodded to me, shoving the last bites of honey rolls into their mouths as I appeared. One stood up to unlock the door. “He’s chained, but be careful. An Elder visits regularly and should return shortly.”

  Without a word, I stepped into the hut, bracing myself. Still, my mouth flooded with the taste of carpet the moment I was past the threshold. The room was small, but no worse than what I’d pictured. There was a chair, a little table, and a cot. None of which could be used by the boy. He was pressed against the far wall, chains keeping him from moving. His wrists and ankles were savaged by the cruel metal and his neck was held straight by a clamp with a huge deadbolt on it. There was a bucket between his feet, which had thankfully been cleaned out. The boy was naked but for a loin cloth that didn’t quite make him decent.

  He was filthy and sweating. And I hoped the sheen was not from infection.

  “Have you come to stare at me, then, wolf?”

  His voice cracked when he spoke and I wondered when the last time he’d had anything to drink was. I turned to ask the guard but he was already there, a flask of water and a hunk of boneless fish in two meaty hands. I snatched them away from him, a little more aggressively than I planned. “Why haven’t his wounds been cleaned? He looks like he hasn’t been ba
thed or allowed to walk around for weeks.”

  The guard at least had the decency to look abashed. “Forgive us, Princess Roux. It was not ordered that he be kept comfortable, only that he be fed and watered.”

  I scoffed. “It doesn’t take orders to do the right thing. Bring me a basin of water and soap.”

  I slammed the door closed before my anger got the best of me and I did something I would regret. Turning back to the boy, I winced when a large insect settled on one of the opened cuts on his bulky chest. “Shoo!”

  The boy watched me in silence while I beat the critter away before taking stock of his injuries. He’d been a prisoner for maybe five days, by my calculations. He shouldn’t look this bad. There’d been little enough of a struggle that I’d seen when he’d been captured, so why the cuts and bruises? Something Daciana said filtered through my head and I frowned. “Are you being tortured?”

  Big brown eyes flashed with anger but he didn’t say a word. For several minutes, we engaged in a fierce staring contest. I imagine he would have won, but his thirst got the better of him and his eyes fell on the flask. I blushed hotly, having forgotten to see to his needs in my anger. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to … here, let me help you.”

  I held the jug to his mouth and watched as he swallowed greedily. Twice I tried to pull away and a low grumble charged the air. “You’re going to get sick if you drink it all at once.”

  He didn’t protest when I took the water from him this time. I shifted slightly, inspecting the poorly wrapped bundle the guard had brought me. It was indeed planks of deboned fish, but there were also berries and slices of apple. I fed each one to him without a word and he allowed his pride to take a backseat as he ate.

  “They have, at least, been feeding you regularly, right?” I couldn’t help but ask, watching him chow down as if he would never get another meal.

  At first, I didn’t think he would answer. Between bites, he managed. “I’m a bear, not a wolf. I need to eat more often than they seem to think.”