The Big Cry Wolf

by Nina S. Gooden

  “Just … don’t move, okay?”

  She nodded cheerfully, obviously excited to see me try despite the danger to her. Evrard looked decidedly less thrilled but I pushed him out of my mind with an effort to focus.

  Almost immediately, I felt the throbbing presence of the glittery light, beckoning me closer. It pulsed so hard I had to force my inner eyes away from the promise of power and strength. Sweat beaded my body and ran down my spine while I worked, giving all of my attention to finding what I needed.

  I was just about to stop, to pull back when I felt the pull of Aldrich’s psyche. He was awake, though weak and I knew he felt me searching for him. I could imagine the way his head lifted, long hair flowing over his shoulders and down his back like a curtain. His ears would twitch, trying to catch an inkling of my heartbeat.

  I pressed my lips together, following the strand that connected us. Aldrich relaxed immediately, the mental barriers around his mind falling open with barely a breath from my lungs. Wolf, huge and black, stalked toward me in the space of his mind, shaking his fur out. I could see the singed portions of his body and almost wept for the pain I caused him.

  “I’m so sorry,” I murmured, knowing Mina heard me but unsure of whether or not the Wolf did. “I didn’t know.”

  He watched me, flat black eyes expressionless before sitting down on his haunches. I didn’t know if he could speak but all he did was watch me as I inched closer to him, one shaking hand extended. “I’m trying to be better. I don’t want to cause either of you pain. Will you help me? Will you let me try?”

  Those eyes narrowed, but I didn’t feel any malice in the action. It simply looked like he was considering whether or not to give me a chance. Then he stood, his hind legs pumping him forward with one bound. My teeth chattered, knowing if he sought retribution it would hurt, no matter that I wasn’t physically with him. When his head lowered to my hand I kept it steady, willing to accept whatever punishment he mete out.

  His warm, raspy tongue stroked my palm, gentle as a brush of the hand. Instantly I felt his power flowing through my body, warring with the light. I struggled to balance them both out, taking what I needed from both so neither one would overwhelm me. The flood of Aldrich’s power was familiar. I felt it each time I tried to summon the Blut-kette, but could never fully tap into it. I ran my free hand over his big head, savoring the way the energy sank into me. This was Aldrich. Him and his Wolf.

  My eyes popped and I inhaled sharply. My lungs felt overfull and I trembled with the need to let it out. Focusing on Mina’s excited face, I blew out and out. Weaving, forming. It should have only taken seconds but it felt like the minutes dragged on. I worked for every stitch, every scrap that slowly covered my naked friend.

  When it was finally over, I deflated, trying to catch myself before I fell flat on my face. When Evrard went to grab me, Mina put a hand on his elbow. “Let her find the strength to stand on her own. She can do it.”

  I tilted my chin up and shifted my shoulders backward. She was right, the strength was there, I just had to want it badly enough.

  “Good job. These are even better than the old ones.” Mina spun around so I could see my work and sure enough, they were crisp and clean, high quality and brand new.

  “Thanks.”

  “Don’t thank me, I didn’t do anything. That was all you. Do you think you’ve got the hang of it now?”

  I looked inward, only to sigh. “No, something is still off. If I work hard enough I can use one or the other, but what I really need is to be able to unlock both at the same time. The Blut-kette won’t come without that … balance.”

  As soon as I said it, I heard the whispers kick back up. “Unbalanced,” they cried with hoarse tones. “Unfettered.”

  I listened with new ears, hearing not condemn but hope. Urgings. They didn’t want me to fail any more than I did.

  “I’ll worry about that later. For now, I need to pay the Council a visit.”

  Mina clapped her hands together, grinning from ear to ear. “Give them hell.”

  Chapter 7

  “I want to see the Council.” I tapped my foot as the third guard I’d accosted in the last fifteen minutes eyed me warily. The first had called for reinforcements when I refused to leave after his dismissal. When that guard had also failed to intimidate me into leaving, they’d called someone who I could only assume was their captain. Too bad the guy sank into instant flop sweat the moment he saw me.

  “As I’ve s-stated before, it is not possible at this time.” The guy actually backed up when I shifted my weight impatiently.

  “You keep saying that, but I have yet to hear a reason why. I was here less than an hour ago and everyone wanted a piece of me. Now they’re not even willing to listen to what I have to say?”

  The guard swallowed audibly and I felt a twinge of guilt for taking my frustrations out on him. I’d expected the vote to still be underway. After all, it was a big Pack and everyone got a vote when it came to matters like this, even the Omega.

  Now I stood on the stage that should have held the Council, staring down at a small gathering of guards who refused to tell me where the cowards were hiding.

  Apparently, after my little show of magic everyone had been so shaken, they’d called an unprecedented recess. One that it didn’t look like they were in any hurry to end. Normally the delay would have tickled me pink. Now, I had a deadline to work with and I wasn’t interested in sitting on my thumb for however long it took them to reconvene. I wanted my audience. Now.

  “Look here. You’re going to tell them I’m here and I wish to speak with them. Ah-ah-ah!” I waved my hand in front of my face when he opened his mouth to doubtlessly tell me, once again, that they’d asked not to be disturbed. “Do as I ask. I’m not looking to make any additional enemies, but at this point one more couldn’t hurt and I will go through you if I need to.”

  Again, my trusty bravado saved the day. All three guard left as if I had literally lit a fire under their feet. I held up a hand, casually inspecting my cuticles as wolves moved around me in an even wider berth than they had before. Their curious stares should have irked me, but I was just grateful the icy disdain had melted. Instead of watching me with accusation in their expressions, now they stared in awe, as if I were a rabid animal in a cage. I’d have laughed at the irony of that mental image if I weren’t so busy trying my best to look like someone you didn’t want to mess with.

  It took much longer than I would have liked for the guard to return, but at least he came with results. The Council had sent one lone wolf to handle me and I wasn’t the least bit surprised to see it was Daciana with her smiling face. They probably knew I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to threaten the sweet Elder, let alone actually set her on fire.

  Clever bastards.

  “Princess Roux, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.” She sank into a graceful curtsy, exposing her throat as if I were already the crowned Primarch, and thus her superior. I blushed hotly at the new treatment and immediately moved down to pull her up.

  “Don’t do that, Elder.”

  She laughed her easy, carefree laugh and I stepped off the stage, putting us at even level. “I’m just giving you your due. You’re having a bit of a time of it, aren’t you?”

  I gestured to the side, finding a bench for her to sit at. She followed me graciously and plopped down onto the seat, her hands folding daintily in her lap. “It’s not so bad, really. I just need to figure a few things out. Afterward, everything will be easy.”

  Daciana sighed wistfully. “I envy you your optimism, I really do. At times, it’s difficult to be the youngest of the Elders. You put so much energy and time into your Family and sometimes it is never enough. I wish I had such a hopeful outlook.”

  I frowned, considering her words. “Are you having trouble, then? Anything I can help with?”

  She shook her head, smiling softly. “It is nothing I cannot handle. I just wish sometimes that there wasn’t quite the struggle. Not
hing worth having is ever easy, though.”

  I laughed, “You won’t hear any arguments here. I know all too well that lesson.”

  “Yes, I imagine you would.” She shifted slightly, facing me. “What is it that I can do for you, Princess?”

  Forcing myself back to the matter at hand, I nodded smartly. “I do not believe the bears are responsible for these attacks. There is too much that doesn’t add up and an investigation is necessary before war can be declared.”

  Her eyes widened a little and she shifted her gaze as if expecting an attack any moment. “If these attacks are not coming from the bears, then who? We have no enemies and all is peaceful between the Families.”

  “I don’t know. I was hoping that the Elders would have some kind of insight.”

  “No, I’m afraid there is nothing. I am the liaison for Race and Pack relations. I would know if there were anything amiss there.”

  I frowned, running my teeth over my bottom lip. “Then a physical investigation will have to take place. Can a group of scouts or something be sent to the supposed attack site? Maybe there are clues that were missed in the initial commotion.”

  This time her expression grew pensive. “Perhaps, but … I’m afraid you do not have the authority to order something like that. In fact, none but Aldrich do. He is Primogen, and this falls under his rights.”

  Another downfall to the system as it stood. I considered my options for a moment, still unsure of where Aldrich would stand given the option. There was only one way to find out. I’d have to ask him myself. Nodding, I stood up. “Thank you for your time. I think I will go see my mate now.”

  She stood too, brushing her hands against her dress. “Of course, I wish you the best of luck.”

  I returned her smile, even though I was apprehensive. She must have sensed my hesitation because she closed the distance between us and collected me into a hug. When she pulled away, I couldn’t help but giggle. “What was that for?”

  “You looked like you could use one. In fact, you still look a little peaked. When was the last time you ate?”

  I couldn’t readily remember. “Maybe this morning?”

  “Tsk. You have to take better care of yourself, Princess. Perhaps an early supper is in order before you go off to meet our Primogen.”

  I opened my mouth to refuse but my stomach had other plans. It growled loud enough for both of us to hear and I pressed my lips together in a mulish line. “Maybe getting something to eat isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

  Daciana laughed. “Come. We’ll break bread together.”

  “I’d like that.”

  * * * *

  Dinner had been a good idea. By the time I got finished with Daciana, my belly was full and my mind was working at a better capacity. The sun had begun to dip into the horizon, and I felt the first stirrings of Spring in the crisp breeze dancing with the trees.

  Aldrich was still in the section of the stronghold that was reserved for patients. I met with no resistance when I went to see him this time, and the Healer even greeted me as if she were just waiting for me to show up.

  “Princess. You honor us with your presence.”

  I blushed, trying to keep my discomfort to myself. “Will you please point me to his room?”

  She nodded, the motion threatening to topple her hunched form to the ground. “He’s in the last room down this walkway. Just keep walking until you get to the courtyard. His room will be directly on your left.”

  She sat back down at the gnarled desk that was the only furnishing in the crook she’d carved out for herself. The smell of herbs and earth kicked up with each movement and made my mouth water. Even though I’d just eaten, I was suddenly starving again. Shaking my head, I focused on my goal. I needed to convince Aldrich to give me a little time to find out what was really going on. Of course, I also planned to tell him about Mina.

  With every step that brought me closer to seeing him, I counted my increasing heartbeats. Fine, I’ll admit it; I was excited to see Aldrich, just because he was him. A broad grin spread across my face and my fingertips tingled. Just thinking about him made me ache in every way. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, and make sure he understood I would never hurt him again. I’d run my fingers through his lavender hair, and make every burn and bruise up to him.

  I drew up short just as I was ready to turn the corner to his room. The door must have been open because there was no mistaking Adawolfa’s voice. “…can’t trust her, Al. She’s dangerous and it’s only a matter of time before she kills someone.”

  “You have no proof of that. She’s loyal. If not to the Pack, then to me.”

  The bottom of my stomach dropped out. I’d never heard Aldrich’s voice sound so … sad. As if he didn’t really believe what he was saying. As if he doubted.

  “Loyal to you? You know she’s the real reason you were burned. You can barely contain your beast.”

  Something crashed against the wall closest to me and I swallowed a gasp. Flesh slapped together and I had to keep myself from rushing into the room when I heard a low groan sound out.

  “I can contain him just fine.”

  Adawolfa sounded breathless, her voice huskier than usual. “Yes, I can see that. You haven’t just destroyed a very nice bit of furniture or anything. Perhaps you would like to snap me in half now.”

  “Do not tempt me.”

  The clip of her shoes grated against my ears because I knew she wasn’t moving away from him. Another one of those moans shuddered in the air, moments before the rustle of cloth dropping to the floor. “You need to release the Wolf. Why have you not taken your supposed mate?”

  She squeaked and there was a snap I couldn’t quite follow. Aldrich hissed through his teeth. “She is my mate.”

  Her husky tone dropped even deeper. “In every way but the one that matters, Al. She is not offering you release.”

  “She has offered.” He snapped the words so hard I heard the vibration as his teeth clamped together.

  “And still she remains unclaimed. You cannot continue like this.”

  There was a pregnant pause. I held my breath, waiting for a response. “I will hurt her.”

  In my mind, I pictured Adawolfa’s smug smile. More cloth rustled and I saw her press her curvy body to his, flashing him her seductive smile. “Then use me instead.”

  My heart constricted in my chest. One moment it was pounding frantically, threatening to burst from my ribcage. The next it simply stopped. Adawolfa moaned, a soft mewl of sound. Whatever bed was in the room deflated in a familiar sound of disturbed pillows and I took a step back, then another. I was racing through the hallway before I knew what was happening. I raced by the Healer and out to another courtyard, this one blessedly empty.

  I should have gone back in there and eviscerated both of them. I should have demanded he take it back, and make love to me as I’d been waiting so patiently for him to do. I should have punched the man-stealing, home-wrecker in the face until she swallowed her teeth. I should have done all of that, but instead I sat on the cold ground, trembling. Tears I hadn’t noticed were falling hit my forearms and I realized I had crawled into a ball.

  The ache in my chest, the one I worked so hard to bury, to ignore, exploded like acid. It spread through my veins making everything hurt and I choked on my sobs even as I tried desperately to keep them from slipping past my lips. No matter what I did, it would never be enough. For one heartbroken second, I wondered if it was me. I tried my hardest, but I hadn’t been able to win my father’s love. Now I’d failed to secure Aldrich’s as well. Maybe it was me.

  The doubt dried my tears and something indescribable swept over me. “No,” I whispered into the growing darkness. “No.”

  There was a fragility that betrayal had left within me. A frigid little voice telling me it was my fault. If I had been smarter, prettier, kinder, whatever, the outcome would have been different. I fed this voice, allowed it to becoming the center of my being so often. It was the first
place I ran to when there was danger to my battered esteem.

  But today I’d gotten a good look at myself. At the version of myself I wanted to be. All of my life, I’d been striving for the acceptance of a man who would never want me. The Splitter—my father—never wanted me, but I did everything I could to make him love me. He was a man who, in all actuality, hated me for something I had nothing to do with. I was willing to admit the truth had hit me harder than I first thought, but it was time to get over it.

  I stood slowly, shaking the dirt from my outfit. “This isn’t my fault. I did nothing wrong.”

  I whispered it into the air and into my soul. The wound that had lay hidden within a shroud of doubt presented itself and I sneered at it. This was my true weakness. Something I would have to overcome. With, or without, Aldrich. The thought of leaving him turned sour in my stomach, but I ignored the feeling. I had something to do for Mina, my one true friend, but after that, I was on my own.

  “I don’t need him.”

  “That’s a good thing,” a squeal of a voice sounded behind me, breathless and sharp. “Because you’ll not have him for much longer.”

  Before I could react, something heavy slammed into the back of my head. I slumped forward and kissed the darkness.

  Chapter 8

  “Is this the one we were supposed to be targeting with the last two attacks?” A snuffling voice echoed in my throbbing head. “She doesn’t look special.”

  I was being carried through the forest, my forehead banging on someone’s lower back as he carried me over his shoulder. Nausea swept over me but I did my best to keep from groaning as each step slammed my middle against a stout shoulder.

  A second voice, lower and angrier than the first, shot out. “She damn well better be special. That flea-bitten mutt sliced open my brother’s throat to get the blood for this little scheme, all because of this girl.”

  “Come off it, Brickel. Those three little pigs were sacrificed for the greater good of the Sounder. They were given warrior burials.”