Third Base

by Author Stella

  He sat up straight as a board and his eyes went wide. But he didn’t say anything. He just stared at me like a deer in front of a car. Paralyzed.

  “Why. Did. You. Do. It?” If I needed to enunciate every word out of my mouth, this would take an eternity.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Ellie.”

  “So, you’re going to stick to that? Because I’ve never told anyone about what I thought would happen to Coby if he lost baseball. No one—except you. And it’s funny, because his coaches repeated that same sentiment to him almost verbatim.”

  He stood and started pacing the living room, but he offered no explanation.

  “I don’t get it, Ryan. What did you think you could possibly gain by ending Coby’s career?” And as soon as the words came out of my mouth, it dawned on me.

  He wanted Coby to leave Tuscaloosa.

  I’d planted the seed.

  And Ryan watered it.

  Apparently, telling Ryan that without baseball, Coby would have nothing keeping him here, ultimately sending him back to DeArmanville, was all the incentive he needed. He’d done everything except pack Coby’s bags for him. “You thought by removing him from the city, you’d remove him from our equation?”

  “Coby does something wrong and I’m somehow the bad guy? You just waltz in here, pointing the finger at me without so much as asking if I’d even done it? Honestly, Ellie…which one of us are you dating?”

  I balked and slowly batted my lashes, but not in a flirty way—in the “I must have heard you wrong” kind of way. “Don’t stand here and lie to my face. I have no doubt in my mind it was you, and by saying it wasn’t, you’re insinuating I’m an idiot.”

  His posture deflated; he couldn’t deny it anymore. “I can’t compete with him, Ellie. I’ve never been able to. Do you have any idea how emasculating it is that all through college my girlfriend would go to another man’s baseball games instead of mine? Or how hard it is to explain to people why you live with a guy who isn’t me? Or maybe what it feels like to know you’ve had sex with him while at the same time, you keep putting me off?”

  “No, Ryan. I don’t because you’ve never talked to me about any of it from that point of view. You just lash out when you don’t get your way. But you’ve been aware since day one—day one—about my relationship with Coby. I’ve never kept it a secret, and I’ve never lied to you about any aspect of it. The fact that you couldn’t handle it is on you, not me.”

  “Couldn’t handle it? No man could. Jesus, Ellie.” He’d gone from pitiful to angry in less than five seconds. “When are you going to open your fucking eyes? No one will ever come between the two of you because you’ve created this impenetrable cocoon. Still, for whatever reason, neither of you will admit to loving the other.”

  My brows furrowed. “I’ve never denied loving Coby.”

  “You’re right, you’ve denied being in love with Coby. And yet it’s there. Anyone with eyes can see it. There’s a reason he’s never had a girlfriend, and it’s not just because he can’t get past third base with the ladies.”

  Coby had his fair share of time with the females, I wasn’t sure why Ryan believed he hadn’t, but that wasn’t the point at hand. “You’re insane, Ryan. I can’t handle the jealousy. And I refuse to be with someone I can’t trust. You took what I told you in confidence and handed it over to the only people in the world you shouldn’t have—behind my back.”

  “You never had any intentions of being with me, anyhow…you just hadn’t admitted it to yourself. Just like you haven’t admitted your feelings for Coby Kyler—but they’re there just the same.”

  I’d listened to this same song and dance my entire life, and the tune never changed. “Envy is a tough pill to swallow, yet I’ve never felt about Coby the way I felt about you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be two places at once. I’m sorry it was difficult for your narrow-minded friends to understand my living situation when they all saw you and me together and should have known how I felt about you. And I’m sorry you feel slighted that the one time I’ve had sex in my life, it wasn’t with you. However, what I’m most sorry about is that you felt the only way you could deal with it was by destroying my best friend. Because that, Ryan, is unforgivable.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  I stared into his eyes and gave up on the last three years. I didn’t have it in me to yell or defend myself further. Every ounce of energy left my body, and when I spoke again, my voice lacked the strength to hide my defeat. “I’m saying I can’t do this with you anymore. And while you made my decision easy, you took everything from Coby.”

  “You’re just going to throw away three years for a man you claim you aren’t in love with?”

  “No, Ryan. I’m throwing away three years because of a man who clearly never loved me.”

  I pushed past him when he tried to stop me from leaving. As I grabbed my keys, he took my arm forcefully. The bite of his fingers hurt when I attempted to pull away. The way he gripped me sent up warning flags in my mind.

  I needed to get away from him.

  “Let me go.”

  “Don’t do this.”

  “It’s done.” And with those two words, I yanked free from the man I thought I’d loved and walked out the door.

  I got into my car and drove. The minutes on the clock ticked by as the miles rose on my odometer. I didn’t care where I went; I just couldn’t go home—not in this condition. When I began to cry so hard I couldn’t see, I pulled over into a grocery store parking lot. There were no other cars around, and the place had closed hours ago. I didn’t have a clue how I’d ever tell Coby he’d lost his career because of Ryan—or worse, because of me. My heart hurt realizing I’d been a part of taking something from him that he loved, and I could never give it back. I’d stolen Coby’s dream trying to pacify a boyfriend I should have ended things with ages ago, and there was nothing I’d ever be able to do to right that wrong.

  Somewhere around two in the morning, I pulled into our garage. The house was dark, and I assumed Coby had long since passed out. But when I walked toward my bedroom, there he stood. His dark figure loomed in the dim hallway. I hadn’t noticed how broad his shoulders had gotten over the years or how thick his arms had become. The boy I’d loved my entire life had turned into a man when I wasn’t looking.

  He didn’t move. His brooding body stood statuesque just outside my door. Waiting.

  “E.T.?” The way he said my nickname told me he knew, even though he didn’t ask any questions.

  “Not tonight, Coby.” I dropped my head and my shoulders slumped in defeat.

  When he reached out to touch my arm, I winced. “Ellie?”

  I tried to move away, but he flipped the light switch, and the red finger prints were like a neon sign glowing on my arm.

  “What happened?”

  I shook my head as tears streamed down my face. I didn’t have it in me to rehash the events of the evening. Not tonight. “I’m fine, Coby. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

  He snaked an arm around my waist just before I made it to my sanctuary and pulled me into his embrace. Inhaling deeply, I let his scent comfort me when words failed. When he finally released his hold, I lifted up on my toes and kissed his jaw. “I love you, Coby. I hope you never doubt that.”

  He held me there and repeated the words against my ear. “I love you, too, Ellie. Always.”

  I spent the next twenty-four hours in hiding. Yes, it made me a coward, but I wasn’t ready to face Coby or what had taken place last night, much less what happened in the hall when I’d gotten home. I had no doubt he would have questions about my arm, and I wasn’t ready to discuss it. Nonetheless, by Monday morning, I had to face the music.

  “How’d things go with your dad?” I asked as I poured myself a cup of coffee. I wasn’t sure how long Coby had been awake—by the looks of it, he hadn’t slept in days.

  “Okay, I guess. He was shocked, although I think he assumed my shoulder was worse than
I’d let on. Coach’s intuition, maybe? Who knows. He didn’t cry or anything, so that’s good.”

  “I’m sure he’s just concerned, Coby. Parents want the best for their kids.”

  I skirted around him, not sure what to say or how to act. Even eating was awkward because I felt him staring at me as if he were waiting for me to reveal something.

  “What happened to your arm, Ellie?”

  Well, that took approximately five minutes longer than expected. “Nothing.”

  “You have a handful of blue bruises in the shapes of fingers circling your bicep…why don’t you try that answer again.”

  “Ryan just grabbed me a little harder than he thought.”

  I’d never heard Coby growl, but the low, guttural noise that emanated from his chest couldn’t be considered anything other than that. “Why?”

  “Coby, this doesn’t have to be more than it is. The relationship is over, so let’s move on to something else.”

  “Because of me?”

  I couldn’t tell if he was upset thinking he’d cost me something special, or angry at the idea of Ryan putting his hands on me because of Coby. Either way, his thought process was askew.

  “No, because of me. I broke things off last night.”

  His head bobbed slowly in understanding. “Promise me you’ll tell me if he ever tries to hurt you again?”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Coby. It’s done. We’re over.”

  I didn’t want to add insult to injury, but I needed to change the subject, and I refused to let Coby face what would take place today alone.

  “What time is the press conference?”

  “Noon,” he deadpanned.

  “Are you going to watch it?”

  “Yeah, I might as well witness the toilet of my career flush with everyone else.”

  “Up for company?”

  He tried to tell me no, that it wasn’t a big deal, and he didn’t need me hovering, but in the end, there was no way I’d let him witness the carnage in solitude. And at eleven fifty-nine, we flipped the television to ESPN. Coby tucked me into his right side and wrapped his arm around me. I don’t think I really heard much of what was said, although I was grateful the team had only used Coby’s shoulder injury as their reason for parting ways. His coach wished him well and told the world what a great kid he was and how the team would struggle without the heart of Kyler on the mound.

  When it was over, I clicked the television off. “That was a nice send-off.” I was clueless what to say in this situation.

  “Yeah. I guess so. Now the only question is, what the hell do I do with my life?”

  I rested my head on his shoulder and my arm over his stomach. “You know what’s great, Coby?”

  He peered down as I tried to look up without moving. “What’s that?”

  “You don’t have to make that decision today. Or tomorrow. Or even this year.”

  Coby had a luxury most unemployed people didn’t—a fat bank account he’d never really touched. He could afford to take his time to figure out what to do next. And he didn’t have to settle—he could form a new plan.

  “I guess that makes two of us, huh?”

  “Well, until August fifteenth.”

  He pulled back to see my face. “Why? What happens August fifteenth?”

  I smiled brightly, grateful at last to share my news with someone, and hoped he was as happy as I was. “I got a job at St. Michael’s Catholic High School in Northport. I start this fall.”

  “That’s awesome. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  I finally sat all the way up and folded my leg under me. “I didn’t want Ryan to find out. Once the cat was out of the bag and I’d graduated, he’d push harder for me to move in…and that wasn’t going to happen. I was just trying to get through the last couple of weeks before facing it.”

  “Is that what happened last night?”

  “More or less.” A lot less than more, but admitting any of that wouldn’t help Coby.

  “I’m sorry, E.T.” He relaxed into the sofa, spread out like guys do when they’re lounging around.

  “Me too, Coby.” But I wasn’t sorry about things not working out with Ryan—I was sorry for hurting Coby in the midst of it all.

  Chapter 10

  Coby

  “Sit up.” Ellie sat next to me on my bed and nudged my right shoulder. We’d been doing this every night for a month so far, ever since I came home for good. We’d either hang out in my room, or on the couch, and watch whatever was on while soaking up as much time as we could. After the summer ended, she’d start her teaching job, and I’d be left alone.

  It’d taken me a while, and many bribes, but Ellie had finally given up on finding a summer job. She hated the idea of living with me without any income until fall, but when I gave her the puppy-dog eyes and pouty lip, crying about how lonely I’d be while she served lattes at the local Starbucks, she relented. If I could’ve gotten away with having her at home every day, all year round, I would’ve. But she’d never go for it. Ellie Teller wasn’t the kind of girl who’d let someone else take care of her—not even her best friend. I’d paid for her college, to which she’d given me an IOU. I’d thrown it out, and she wrote me a new one. This went on for a while before I gave up and kept the stupid piece of paper.

  And the deposits into my bank account didn’t go unnoticed, either.

  She still hadn’t picked up on the random cash in the dryer with her laundry. Just thinking of her excitement when she “found” money while washing her clothes still brought a smile to my face. Although, if she really thought about it, that only happened when I was home. Yet it was the only way I could return the money without her throwing it back in my face.

  I rolled my head on the pillow and blinked slowly at her as if she’d spoken another language. “It doesn’t hurt tonight. I’ll be fine. Let’s just watch the show.” Then I turned my attention back to the flat screen mounted on the wall above my dresser.

  “Shut up and move. I won’t tell you again.” Her authoritative, yet silly tone made me groan until I was upright, where she fitted herself between my body and the stack of pillows behind me. Her hands instantly went to my left shoulder and neck, massaging away the aches and pains that lingered. “Just because you’re not playing anymore doesn’t mean you can’t still do your exercises,” she lectured from behind me.

  “I am.” It was a lie…mostly. I hadn’t been going to physical therapy the way I should’ve if I were still on the team, but I hadn’t given up completely. Truth be told, the reality of permanent damage scared the shit out of me. Then again, the darkness of a future lost kept me from doing much about it. It was one of those things I figured I wouldn’t have to worry about if I didn’t think about it. Stupid, I know.

  “Coby…you forget I’m with you almost every single day. I can tell when you’re taking care of yourself and when you’re not. You heard the doctor. If you let the muscles rest too much, they’ll lock up, and if that happens, you’ll never get back full range of motion.”

  “What do I need a full range of motion for, Ellie? Huh? I’m never gonna play again.”

  Her hands stopped moving, but they didn’t fall away. “Don’t be stupid. For someone who literally fell into baseball, you’re acting like you’ve eaten, slept, and breathed it your entire life. Whatever happened to the boy who played for fun?”

  “He gave up his future for a sport that failed him.”

  “The sport didn’t fail him, Coby. His arm did.” She didn’t have to say anything else. The rest was implied: I’d failed myself when I kept the pain a secret, when I didn’t come forward about it, and more importantly, when I lied to the team and went behind everyone’s backs to have surgery. “You’re twenty-two. What happens when you have kids and can’t swing them around because you convinced yourself you didn’t need a full range of motion in your arm? Or when you get married and can’t twirl your bride around on the dance floor?”

  “I think you’re j
umping the gun just a tad there, E.T.”

  “But I’m not.” She picked back up on the massage, carefully kneading the tense area along the side of my neck. “If you won’t do it for yourself, then at least do it for me. Okay?”

  “You sayin’ you wanna marry me and have my nerdy kids?”

  Her airy giggle drifted along my back. “Nah. That’d be too weird.”

  “Having sex with me would be weird? You didn’t say that four years ago when I rocked your world.”

  “How could I forget the best thirty seconds of my life?” she asked dryly. “I’m serious, Coby. You can’t sit around here moping forever. One of these days, I’m going to meet a nice guy, get married, and move out. Then what will you do?”

  “Let me get this straight…” I peered over my shoulder. “You’re going to get married, and then move out?” Even out of the corner of my eye, I could see the look she gave me—the quirked eyebrow, curled lip, the one that called me stupid without saying a single word.

  “Don’t make me hit you. You know what I mean. You had everything planned out four years ago, and then you took the team to the semifinals. That was the turning point for you—when all those scouts showed up. Out of nowhere, you were hit with the state championships, more scouts, an agent, the draft, and then the big time. Just because baseball isn’t in the cards anymore doesn’t mean your life is over. You need to dig in and figure it out. Not just sit here and slowly die.”

  I heard what she was saying, but it wasn’t that easy to snap out of it. “What am I supposed to do, Ellie? I didn’t go to school. I gave that up to play ball, remember? So what do I have left?” It sounded ridiculous to ask, considering we were currently sitting on my large bed, inside a big room with a massive TV in front of us. I had a bank account I couldn’t possibly deplete in ten lifetimes, and more free time than anyone could use. I sounded spoiled and pathetic.

  But at least Ellie knew me well enough to see past the words.

  “School isn’t out of the picture. It’s still an option if that’s what you decide to do.”