The Cowboy's Summer Love

by The Cowboy's Summer Love (mobi)

  “Placed second,” Travis said, scooting Cass around so she sat more comfortably on his lap.

  “You ride in rodeos?” Rick asked leaning around Tess again. “What event?”

  “Bull riding,” Travis said, trying to be civil. He didn’t have anything personal against Rick. He just happened to be the guy dating Tess and was therefore the sworn enemy.

  “Wow, that’s cool. So you ranch, ride bulls and are recently out of the Army,” Rick said, looking impressed.

  “He also races cars and motorbikes, skis both on snow and water, windsurfs, rock climbs and is solely responsible for every gray hair on my head,” Denni said with a teasing smile from her seat.

  “You really do all that?” Rick asked, eyeing Travis like he wasn’t quite real.

  “Yeah,” Travis said. “When the warden lets me leave the ranch.”

  Trey leaned over far enough to give Travis a playful punch in the arm. “You’re free to come and go as you please, smart-aleck, like you are known to do.”

  “So all three of you brothers ranch together?” Rick asked, trying to wrap his head around the idea of working that closely with a sibling. He didn’t get along that well with his sister and having to spend all day, every day, with her would probably drive him to drink.

  “Ranch together, work together, play together, live together,” Travis said, watching a huge explosion overhead.

  “In the same house?” Rick asked, trying to envision three brothers, a wife and a child all in the same house. It must be quite… interesting.

  “Yep,” Cass said, answering the question. “Mama and Daddy and me gots one whole wing to ourselves and Uncle Travis and Uncle Trent share the other one. And Grammy stays over there with them when she comes.”

  Rick looked at Tess confused.

  “It’s a rather large house,” Tess said. How could you explain the Triple T ranch house without seeing it firsthand? It was massive, wonderful, inviting, and one of the few places on the planet where she always felt welcome.

  “I see,” Rick said, although he didn’t. He tried to envision the kind of house that had wings, as Cass put it.

  “Look!” Cass said pointing toward the sky as showers of lights floated down overhead. “It’s so pretty. It looks like fairy dust.”

  Travis smiled, despite his plans to remain grumpy. Cass loved fairies more than anything. It was partially his fault. His and Trent’s. When Cass lost her first tooth, Trey and Cady were gone on their honeymoon. He and Trent sprinkled iridescent glitter in her room with strategically placed Barbie footprints through it to convince Cass the tooth fairy had paid a visit. She had been obsessed with fairies and fairy dust since.

  Cass was so excited about the fireworks, Travis couldn’t help but absorb a little of it, especially with her sitting on his lap. When she took a piece of candy from her pocket and offered it to him, he felt the tight bands of tension release a little. Unable to see what he was eating in the dark, Travis popped it in his mouth and hoped for the best. Tasting peppermint he grinned, glad it wasn’t butterscotch.

  “I’ve never seen anything so pretty,” Cass said, completely absorbed in the fireworks.

  Putting a protective arm around her, Travis held her a little closer.

  “Have you ever seen fireworks, Cass?”

  “Nope. My first Mommy didn’t like the Fourth of July. She’d drink the smelly stuff and cry a lot and talk about my first daddy.”

  Travis looked over at Trey and Cady, shaking his head. Cass’ father joined the service, not knowing he was leaving behind a pregnant girlfriend. He died soon after enlisting and Micki, Cass’ mother, couldn’t get over his death. She turned into a drunk and only gave Cass enough care and attention to keep her alive. Surprisingly, the little girl, while small for her age, was very resilient. She was sweet and loving with a great sense of humor. The tiny red-head certainly kept them all on their toes.

  “I’m sorry, Cass,” Travis said, feeling a lump in his throat for all the things Cass missed out on in her short life.

  “It’s okay, Uncle Travis. I’m having lots of fun now,” Cass said, turning to give her uncle a hug.

  Travis hugged her back then tickled her sides as she spun back around when a boom sounded overhead.

  Trying to keep his focus on the fireworks and Cass, Travis couldn’t ignore Rick’s hand when it moved around Tess’ shoulders and pulled her close to him. Tess seemed to stiffen at his touch although she didn’t pull away. Rick’s nearness to Tess highly annoyed Travis, making him feel even edgier.

  The longer he sat watching them out of the corner of his eye, the more irritated he became. When Rick leaned close and whispered something to Tess that made her giggle, Travis wanted to flatten the man into the grass.

  “Uncle Travis, you’re smooshing me!” Cass complained when his grip around her tightened a little too much.

  “I’m sorry, kiddo,” Travis said, gently patting her back.

  Not willing to risk being squeezed again, Cass jumped up and ran over to climb on Trey’s lap.

  “Hey, Trav,” Brice called from his spot on the other side of his parents at the far side of the group. “Come over here, I want to hear about the rodeo.”

  “No you don’t,” Travis called back. “You want to hear about the buckle bunnies.”

  “There were bunnies at the rodeo?” Cass asked, turning her attention back to Travis. “I love bunnies!”

  Trey and Cady both shot him a disgusted look. Tess looked up from her conversation with Rick and glared at him. It made Travis feel a little better to know Tess showed some interest when he mentioned the rodeo groupies.

  “No, sweetie-pie,” Cady said, giving Travis a reproving look. “Uncle Travis was just teasing.”

  “Oh,” Cass said, her attention quickly drawn back to the sky.

  Travis got up and walked over to where Brice and Ben were sitting, talking about the rodeo and some mutual friends he ran into.

  “Are you sure you’re okay, Trav?” Brice asked, looking at his life-long friend. “Something bothering you?”

  “Nothing more than the usual,” Travis said, trying to brush off the concern.

  “Look, man, if there’s something…” Brice started to say, leaning over and placing a hand on Travis’ shoulder. Travis shook it away and cut him off.

  “I’m fine, dude, no worries,” Travis said, wishing he’d kept right on driving home instead of stopping to watch the fireworks. As it was, he had to keep unclenching his hands when they involuntarily formed fists and talking himself out of walking over to Rick and punching the daylights out of him. Looking at the way he was all cuddled up to Tess made him clench his jaw so hard, his teeth started to ache.

  “Baby,” Denni said, holding out her hand to him, “I want you to sit by me. I haven’t got to visit with you for a while.”

  Travis took his Mom’s hand and sank onto the grass in front of her chair. She started rubbing his back and neck, shocked at the tense muscles and knots.

  “What are you doing?” she leaned over and whispered in his ear.

  “Watching the fireworks,” Travis said. “What are you doing?”

  “Getting ready to box your ears,” Denni said quietly, continuing to massage his muscles.

  Travis might have enjoyed his mother’s touch, might have relaxed a bit, if he wasn’t fighting back a blackness he couldn’t fathom, let alone explain. He didn’t want to feel better, didn’t want to relax, and he didn’t want his mom to give him a massage. The hands he wanted rubbing his back were wrapped around Rick’s arm at the moment. Travis felt his shoulders inch closer to his ears.

  “Baby, what is the matter with you? I’ve never seen you like this before. It’s like somebody wound you up inside out and backwards and you’re about ready to explode,” Denni said, trying to get Travis to turn around so she could look in his face.

  “Just leave it alone, Mom,” he ground out.

  “Maybe I don’t want to leave it alone,” she said, thumping his arm. “
You get yourself out of this mood you’re in and behave yourself.”

  Travis didn’t respond, didn’t acknowledge her in any way. Instead he got up and walked around to stand behind the group, watching the impressive grand finale of the fireworks show.

  Everyone was clapping and cheering while the smell of gunpowder hung heavy in the air. Travis’ mind drifted back to Iraq, to another day when he stood with the smell of gunpowder burning his nostrils, the sound of explosions filling the air. He heard the screams, smelled the blood, tasted the fear rising up his throat. For a moment he wasn’t standing on a grassy knoll in The Dalles with his family.

  He was standing in the crossfire of an enemy, trying to get the men in his squad to safe cover. He saw one of his men fall, raced back to help him while gunfire blasted around him, but it was too late.

  Falling to his knees, Travis covered his face with his hands and felt sick to his stomach.

  “Travis, you okay?” Trey asked, turning around to look at him. Dumping Cass on Cady’s lap, Trey hurried to Travis, but Rick beat him there, putting a gentle hand on Travis’ shoulder.

  Not quite back to reality, Travis reacted by ramming out his fist before he even opened his eyes, hitting Rick square in the jaw and knocking him to the ground. Lunging to his feet, Travis bent threateningly over the motionless man.

  “Travis!” Tess gasped while everyone scrambled to their feet. Brice and Ben ran over and both of them, along with Trey, had all they could do to keep Travis from punching Rick again. The vacant look in his eyes had them all more than frightened. Travis once told Brice that he’d learned at least fifty ways to take out a man in less than a minute and right now, Brice knew that wasn’t an exaggeration.

  Denni finally took Travis’ face in her hands and held it steady while talking to him. “Baby, its Mama. You’re home, everything’s fine. Travis, can you hear me? Answer me, baby.”

  Travis’ erratic breathing slowed, and they visibly watched his tensed muscles go from bunched to almost normal. His fingers uncurled from clenched fists and he looked around the group.

  “Mama?” Travis said, looked at Denni. What was his mother doing in Iraq? Why were Tess and Brice and Trey there? Travis finally remembered where he was. Not in Iraq, but home.

  Feeling his legs give out on him, Travis dropped his head to his chest and would have fallen if Brice and Trey hadn’t been holding him up.

  “What’s wrong with Uncle Travis?” Cass asked, near tears.

  “He’s just sick right now, sweetie,” Cady said, quietly, gathering up Cass and her things, taking her to the pickup. She didn’t need to watch one of her heroes have a complete melt-down. Michele went with her, carrying a load of snacks and blankets back to their car. Mike was trying to collect enough ice to make a pack to put on Rick’s jaw while Tess stood immobilized by her fear for Travis.

  “Trav? Can you hear me?” Trey asked, helping Travis sit down on a chair, hunkering down by his side.

  “I can hear you,” Travis said weakly. “I’m okay.”

  “What happened, bro?” Trey asked, keeping one hand on Travis’ shoulder, the other on his knee.

  “I… the smell of the gunpowder and the explosions… it made me remember some things,” Travis said, not wanting to elaborate. Not wanting to remember.

  “I’m sorry,” Trey said, love and concern for his brother etched on his face. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

  Travis nodded, not sure he felt up to driving, but tired of being a public spectacle. He didn’t know if anyone was watching them and if they were, they’d probably assume he’d just had too much to drink. Travis was, however, stone cold sober. Brice took Travis’ keys and went to get his pickup. By now, most of the crowd had left and there were very few people around.

  Rick held a resealable sandwich bag of ice to his jaw, Ben loaded chairs and blankets into the appropriate vehicles and Michele and Mike flanked Tess, not quite certain what to do.

  “Do you want to go to Mom’s or to the ranch,” Trey asked, helping Travis stand up.

  Travis couldn’t think about being in the same house with Tess. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him like this. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. He had managed to hide his flashbacks for months, usually only having them at night. Sometimes, when he was out alone with the cows or working in the shop, he let himself remember, but most of the time he could control his thoughts enough to keep his memories, his anger, and his problems suppressed.

  “The ranch. I want to go home,” Travis said standing up and giving Trey a gentle push away. Walking up to Rick, he held out his hand, which Rick shook tentatively. “I’m really, really sorry, Rick. I hope I didn’t break anything.”

  “I’ll be fine, Travis. I didn’t realize… I should have known better. I just wanted to help,” Rick said, beginning to comprehend the situation. He’d heard of veterans having flashbacks, but had never witnessed it. He’d know not to approach a man in the midst of one again.

  “I appreciate that, and again, I’m really very sorry,” Travis said. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Tess. He didn’t want to see pity or anger or disgust or whatever emotion was going to be plastered across her face.

  He turned to walk to the parking lot and felt her hand on his arm. “Be safe, Trav. Be well.”

  Nodding his head, he walked to his truck and got in the passenger side.

  Trey decided to drive him home while Cady took their pickup and Cass back to the ranch. Sensing Travis’ need to crawl into himself for a while, Trey was silent for most of the trip. As they turned off the freeway and headed south, Trey put his hand on Travis’ shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  “Trav, I know you’ve got some things you are trying to work through, but I really think the time has come for you to get some help. You can’t do this by yourself. We can find you a counselor, you can talk to the pastor, you can talk to us, but you can’t keep on like this. It’s going to kill you or you’re going to kill someone,” Trey said, trying not to let the fear he felt for his brother gain evidence in his voice. “What would have happened tonight if we hadn’t been there to keep you from beating Rick to a pulp?”

  “I don’t know,” Travis said. It was the first time he’d gotten violent and he hoped it would be the last. He didn’t really want to hurt Rick. It wasn’t Rick he had punched. It was the unrecognizable face of an enemy, not a nice guy who just happened to lean over too close to a man who was losing his mind.

  Admitting to himself Rick was one of the good guys, Travis knew if Tess had any sense at all, she’d forget he existed and make plans for a future with the stable, kind-hearted doctor. “I’m sorry, Trey. More sorry than you can know.”

  “Sorry enough to get some help?”

  Travis sighed. He didn’t want to need help. He didn’t want to talk about the past, what had happened in Iraq, what was bothering him. But, even more than that, he didn’t want to hurt anyone. What if it had been Cass that he’d punched? Or Cady? Or Tess?

  He wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

  “Maybe,” Travis said, staring out the window. “Maybe it’s time.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Love is patient, love is kind.

  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

  I Cor. 13:4 NIV

  After yesterday’s episode at the fireworks display, Travis spent the morning working alone in the machine shed. He was a good mechanic and fixing the equipment helped him think. Pounding out the bent and broken pieces on the swather’s sickle bar also helped him work off some frustration.

  Going in for lunch, the atmosphere in the house was quiet and subdued. Even Cass seemed to sense the need to cut back her usual chatter and ended up sitting on Cady’s lap, studying the men on the other end of the table with trepidation.

  Trey filled Trent in on what had happened the previous night, and his discussion with Travis.

  Trent, the easy going peacemaker of the bunch, knew things would probably get wor
se before they got better. Part of the reason he felt like he was constantly refereeing between Travis and Trey was because they were too much alike. Trent knew he inherited his mother’s easy going temperament while his two brothers were more like their dad. All of them liked to joke and laugh, but there was a serious, sometimes sullen, side in the other two that skipped right over Trent.

  “So, Travis, what do you have planned for this afternoon?” Trey asked, hoping to broach a subject he knew was going to be touchy.

  “Thought I’d finish fixing the swather then service the second baler,” he said, not looking up from his lunch. “Why?”

  “Well, the pastor is dropping by for a visit later and I thought maybe…” Trey didn’t get to finish whatever he was going to say.

  Travis got up from the table so fast his chair tipped over and his face flushed a bright shade of red. The muscles in his neck clenched and his jaw was squared, hard and tight.

  “What did you think, Trey? That your crazy brother needed some help? Maybe the good pastor could talk me out of being a freak. Is that what you thought?”

  Trey stood, the vein throbbing in his neck, a sure sign he was angry. “What I thought was that it might help you to visit with someone who isn’t a family member. Someone you felt safe talking to about your problem.”

  “What problem is that? A bossy older brother who can’t mind his own business? Cause that is da…”

  “Mama, make them stop yelling!” Cass cried, burying her face against Cady’s chest. Cady jumped up from the table and carried Cass outside.

  Trey moved toward Travis. Trent, ever the pacifier, stepped between them.

  “Travis, you’ve got to get a handle on this. Go do something, anything, to work off some of that tension,” Trent said, putting a restraining hand on Travis’ arm, eyeing his clenched fist. If Travis decided to start swinging, Trent knew he and Trey didn’t stand a chance. Besides the military training, Travis was driven by anger and demons none of them could even begin to comprehend. “We aren’t going to get anywhere like this.”