He grinned. “A compromise. We make a fantastic couple, don’t we, dear?”
My cheeks warmed in pleasure as I went to pull the cord that summoned a servant. A maid promptly arrived and swept into a curtsy. I arranged for tea and blankets, and when the maid returned, I tucked the blanket around Liam.
Before I could settle next to him, he tugged me over. “Where are you going? I still need to be your doting husband.” He wrapped his blanket around the both of us.
“I’m actually not cold.”
“Then pretend you are.”
The thought of spending the evening beneath this blanket with Liam was too wonderful to pass up. With the blanket, the fire, and Liam’s body heat, it was unnecessarily warm, but it was extremely cozy. For a beautifully long time we stayed in this comfortable embrace until Liam’s murmur broke the reverent stillness. “This is nice. Shall we make the experience even better with some tea?” He kissed the top of my head—causing my breath to hook—before pouring me a cup and passing me the plate of cookies. “I had fun today.”
“I did too.”
“And not just today; I’m enjoying our marriage more and more with each passing day.”
My heart pounded as I blew on my tea and took a sip. “Same. I enjoy being married to you, Liam.” But it was more than that. The feelings that had been growing within me were far stronger than merely enjoying his company.
Feeling brave and needing to be even closer to him, I laid my head on his shoulder, a gesture that felt incredibly natural. To my delight, he rested his head on top of mine as his arm looped around my waist.
I marveled at the remarkable feelings rippling over me as we sat cuddling, staring at the popping embers and the dance of the flickering flames. Soon his fingers began caressing up and down my arm. I tipped my head back to stare up at him and his gaze met mine. In that moment, I finally understood all the feelings that had been stirring within my heart ever since meeting this wonderful man.
Despite promising myself it wouldn’t happen, I’d fallen in love with Liam. This beautiful realization mingled with my fierce desire for him to feel the same way towards me. But he could never love Anwen, for she was a woman he’d never even met.
The thought broke my stolen heart.
Chapter 13
“Are you ready, Lavena?” Liam poked his head into the parlor, finally returning after he’d scampered off nearly half an hour ago with an exuberant, “I have a brilliant idea.”
I looked up expectantly from the tangled knots of my embroidery. Ever since realizing my deeper feelings for him two nights ago, I hated being apart from him, especially considering we only had a few days remaining of our honeymoon. My cheeks warmed at seeing him again, an unfortunate effect from my realization; he merely had to look at me and I became a blushing mess, even more than usual.
He grinned widely. “You’re blushing again,” he said, his tone singsong. He’d developed the habit of pointing out all my blushes whenever they occurred.
The heat in my cheeks only deepened, causing his grin to widen. Odious man. I adored him. “Am I ready for what?” I stammered.
“A surprise. Will you do me the honor of accompanying me to the gardens, my dear?”
He bounded into the room and took my hands to gently pull me to my feet before hooking my arm through his and leading me outside into the blazing sunshine. The day was lovely, full of bright sunlight that glistened off the manicured palace grounds in golden streams. As we walked, Liam rubbed gentle circles along the back of my hand, causing me to shiver.
“Where’s this surprise of yours?” I asked breathlessly.
His eyes twinkled mischievously. “A surprise is more satisfying after the anticipation for it builds.”
“So you’re purposely delaying it in order to torture me?”
He laughed, not seeming bothered that his current scheme had been exposed. “You’re beginning to know me well. Alright, I’ll stop teasing you.” He led me into the rose garden, where the rainbow of blossoms were in full bloom. In the center of the garden, surrounded by carefully manicured hedges, was a picnic spread.
I gasped in delight. “Oh, Liam…”
“I know, who knew I could be so romantic?” His smile faltered. “This is what ladies consider romantic, right?”
“Seeking compliments, dear? You know this is utterly romantic.”
“True, but I love hearing you say so all the same.”
I giggled and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. A boyish grin slowly spread across his face.
“Wow, that alone was worth the effort to please you. I’ll surprise you with a picnic every day for such a reward. Ah, there’s my blush.” He caressed my heated cheek before his hand trailed down my arm to connect our fingers. “Shall we, my dear?”
We settled on the lawn. As Liam made me up a plate, my attention was captured by a plebejus argus that had settled on the nearby heather. Excitement bubbled within me. I eagerly crawled over for a closer look at the butterfly.
“Darling?”
I glanced back at my husband with a wide smile. “Come see! It’s a plebejus argus.”
His brows squashed together as he came over and crouched down beside me. “A…what?”
“A silver-studded blue butterfly.” The familiar excitement that came from sharing about insects overcame me. “This butterfly is more sedentary than other species, only flying a few short distances a day, meaning it’ll likely let us observe it for awhile. Its vibrant colors means it’s male.” I pointed to its bright blue wings, rimmed in black with white edges and silver spots. So lovely. I sighed contentedly.
Liam stared at the butterfly before turning to me with a mischievous smile. “Should I be jealous that another male has captured your attention on our romantic outing?” He inched his hand closer to rest it on top of mine. My heartbeat immediately escalated.
I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “He’ll only distract me for a moment, and then I’ll return to doting only on you.”
I studied the silver-studded blue as it continued to sit on the heather, its only movement the gentle folding and unfolding of its wings. Out of all the insects I’d observed over the years, butterflies were by far my favorite.
“Isn’t it amazing how after a once seemingly insignificant caterpillar emerges from its cocoon, it completely transforms into something so stunning and beautiful?”
I glanced sideways at Liam, expecting him to look bored, but instead the look he gave the butterfly was rather pensive. “Considering it’s been both a caterpillar and a butterfly, which one do you think it considers to be its real self?”
“I’m not sure.” He seemed to be asking not about the silver-studded blue but about me. I felt very much like this butterfly—I’d started out as a common girl like it’d begun its life as a caterpillar—but unlike the butterfly, my transformation was a façade.
But now as I knelt in the grass beside Liam, sharing this moment with him, I desired more than ever to really be a butterfly. If I had wings, perhaps I could truly belong in Liam’s world and never be forced to leave.
The butterfly chose that moment to fly away and we returned to our picnic spread, which contained all my favorite foods, save for strawberries. The afternoon passed pleasantly until Liam took it upon himself to begin eating not from his own plate but mine.
I giggled and twisted away as he made to snag one of my sandwiches. “How can the sweetest man who arranges a surprise picnic for his wife also be so mischievous as to steal her food during it?”
“I can’t help it; your food looks better than mine.” He succeeded in retrieving a piece of cheese and eating it with a triumphant smirk. “I win. And I was right—your cheese definitely tastes more delicious.”
I seized a grape and tossed it at him. Unfortunately, he caught it easily and simply popped it into his mouth.
“Why, I’d love a grape, dear. Thank you for sharing.”
I rolled my eyes, but it was impossible to mask my grin. “I had no
intention of sharing; I threw the grape at you simply because you deserved it.”
He chuckled. “Naturally. You only go against your sweet nature when I fully deserve it.”
“You’re making it sound like you enjoy my tormenting you.”
“Caught.” He winked and immediately laughed. “Goodness, Lavena, you’re blushing again. Am I really so skilled at flirting?”
That only made me blush further. “Are you trying to make me blush?”
He grinned rakishly as he began tossing and catching his apple. “Perhaps. I’m quite invested in that adorable blush of yours. It makes me hope you’re as affected by me as I am by you.”
Cue warmer cheeks again. “You think I’m adorable?” I asked shyly.
The look in his blue eyes intensified. “Adorable, lovely, beautiful, gorgeous…not to mention incredibly sweet and delightful.” With each compliment he scooted closer until he was only inches away. I could see each freckle that dotted his nose, the bit of his golden hair that flopped against his forehead, the deep blue of his eyes full of longing.
The moment was ruined when he unexpectedly smeared a glob of pink icing from his cupcake onto my cheek. I jerked away. “Liam!”
“Wait, don’t leave. Goodness, that wasn’t one of my better ideas.” He seized hold of my hem, staring up at me with the most imploring look that caused me to immediately melt—a dangerous response, for my softening so easily would only invite him to cause trouble again.
“How can I trust you after you wiped icing on my face?”
He flashed a wide, boyish smile. “Couldn’t you possibly find it in your heart to forgive me? Please?”
I groaned and relented. “Why are you so charming?”
“It’s one of my many talents, one I’ll always employ in order to remain in my wife’s good graces.” He scooted back over and in my weakness I let him. “Now I have a new game in mind.”
Humming cheerfully, he stuck his finger in the icing marring my cheek and started to draw. I kept very still.
“There.” He licked the tip of his finger.
I stood to peer into the nearby fountain. My breath caught. “A heart.” I spun around. “You drew a heart.”
He only smiled, one different than his usual easygoing grins, this one full of sweetness, tenderness, and something else; it seeped into my heart and made me feel fluttery. These feelings only escalated when I returned to Liam’s side and he took a loose strand of my hair, using it to contentedly trace up and down my arm and along my face. Even something so simple caused me to fall more in love with him.
He leaned towards my ear, as if to share a secret. “You’re blushing again.” He beamed, as usual pleased by his effect on me. “Why are you blushing?” he asked, still whispering.
I wasn’t sure how to answer. I couldn’t very well tell him it was because of him. “It’s a secret.”
Desperate for a distraction, I lay back on my elbows and tipped my head back, enjoying the soft breeze caressing my cheeks. I felt so incredibly content and I knew it wasn’t because of the beautiful sunshine, the glorious summer manifested in the spectacular palace grounds, or our delicious picnic—it was because of the man sitting beside me, a man becoming more and more dear to me the longer I knew him.
I peeked shyly over at him and noticed the tender way he stared at me, his eyes soft. “I’m hoping your blush is because of me.” He playfully tapped my nose; his casual touch sent my heart aflutter. “Are you happy, Lavena?”
“I am.” I’d never been happier. The only thing tainting my joy was the knowledge I was deceiving Liam and that our relationship would eventually end. I severed our gazes and glanced out across the fauna surrounding us.
Liam scooted closer, and I shuddered when he brushed my dark hair aside. “You’re so…soft.” He lightly traced my cheek and I instinctively leaned against his fingers. “Before our marriage you seemed more hardened, more unhappy, so different than you are now.”
My heart beat wildly, not just from the way his touch affected me, but from my ever-present fear—the fear that with every difference Liam noticed between me and the real Princess Lavena, our scheme would be exposed and I’d lose him forever. Only the fact that Liam wouldn’t suspect his wife to be an imposter, especially since he didn’t know the real Princess Lavena well, assured me my secret was safe…for now.
He lightly brushed my cheek. “This is the real you. I wish I’d seen it earlier, for it would have made everything so much easier. But I see you now, and I’ll never not be able to ever again.”
I leaned closer, drawn to his sunshine and warmth that was so Liam. “Do you like what you see?”
“Very much.”
My heart warmed. “And are you happy, Liam?”
“Extremely.” He rubbed his nose with mine. “I have an idea. Would you like to cloud watch?”
He gently tugged me down beside him to lie on the lawn. I stared up at the blue sky, but before I could begin looking for unique shapes in the clouds, my view was blocked by Liam as he propped himself above me.
“Aren’t we going to cloud watch?” I asked.
“I have something better to watch instead.” He stroked my hair. My heart ignited at his touch, at the soft, tender look filling his eyes. “You know what, Lavena?”
“What?” I could barely speak, not with the smoldering way he looked at me.
“You surprise me.”
I cupped his face, delighting in the way he leaned against my hand, as if my touch meant something to him. “I like surprises.”
“I do, too. Are you ready for another?” And before I could prepare myself for it, he leaned down and, after a moment’s hesitation, he kissed me.
It was the most beautiful first kiss—warm, soft, sweet, and gentle, everything that was Liam and more. His fingers wove through my hair as he passionately yet still tenderly explored our kiss. I hesitantly joined him, shy about doing it wrong, but the way Liam groaned made me feel that perhaps I’d done it right after all.
I kissed Liam not as Princess Lavena but as Anwen. The ever-present pain that came from pretending faded away until there was only this moment with him, my wonderful husband, the man who had somehow stolen my heart and would keep it forever…the man who didn’t even know the woman he called wife.
That thought caused me to yank away, ending the kiss. “What is it?” he asked. “Was that not—Lavena!”
He brushed away the tears streaking my cheeks, first with his thumbs, and then to my horror and delight his lips, a gesture which only made me cry harder.
He broke away. “Are you alright, darling? I’m sorry, I should have asked your permission before kissing you, especially after you’d resisted it the other day.” He stroked my hair back in apology.
“That’s not why I’m crying,” I stuttered. “It’s because—” But I couldn’t tell him that the most beautiful moment of my life had been marred by the thought that while I’d been kissing him, the man I adored, he hadn’t been kissing me, but instead a mask, a mask I’d never wanted to yank off more than I did now.
Liam sat us up, bringing me gently with him. He embraced me and began gently rocking me and rubbing my back soothingly. I melted at his touch.
“Then what’s wrong? Was it…not a good kiss?”
“It was perfect. I loved it. Thank you.”
“I loved it, too. I—” He stared into my eyes, his gaze smoldering once more. I knew the words he wanted to express, ones I both ached for and desperately didn’t want to hear.
I pressed my fingers to his lips. “Not now. Please.”
He obediently closed his mouth with a sigh. “As you wish, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart…. My heart, if possible, cracked open even further.
“Can you just hold me?” I asked, needing his arms around me. He gathered me back to him.
“Of course.” He nestled against my hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask your permission; I got caught up in the moment. I won’t kiss you again until you’re ready. A
lright, darling?”
I nodded before nestling myself against his shoulder, wishing I could express the secret in my heart—that I was ready now. But I knew that such a confession would only cause the pain from this façade to grow until I was certain it’d swallow me whole.
How could the most beautiful moment of my life also be the most heartbreaking? For Liam hadn’t kissed me, and he likely never would. Being so close to something I desperately wanted—but which I’d never be able to truly have—was akin to torture.
It was the last evening of our honeymoon. I couldn’t believe how quickly the month had sped by, just like a dream. I felt as if the curtain of the first act of the production that had become my life was drawing to a close—one that had started with so much fear, uncertainty, and tension—but was now filled with beautiful memories, each like a precious jewel.
Especially the memory of our kiss, the shadow of which lingered on my lips and the memory of which graced my dreams. We hadn’t kissed since—my tears had undoubtedly scared Liam away from trying it again too soon—but I sensed he wanted to, sensed there were words he yearned to share, words I hoped matched those filling my heart. I needed to hear these words yet couldn’t bear the thought of hearing them when they were addressed not to me but to another woman. I was trapped in a play, so much about our relationship nothing but a performance. My heart tightened at this horrible thought.
I wandered the gardens alone. We’d just finished our last dinner together before returning to the Dracerian palace tomorrow, where instead of being alone in the world of just Liam and me—a place I wanted to reside in forever—we’d be surrounded by Liam’s family, more people to have to pretend for, and with them a higher risk of getting caught. But the potential consequences for posing as royalty were no longer my greatest fear when the façade shattered—it was losing Liam.
I settled on a patch of lawn near a bed of azaleas, hugging my legs to my chest. Sunset had arrived to caress the sky in a palette of gold, ruby, and rose light. I became distracted from this beautiful vision when a moth fluttered nearby. I held my hand still, hoping the moth would heed my silent invitation. It did, perching itself on my fingertips.
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