“Your relationship.” His mouth twisted on the word. “And the situation you refer to that you find yourself in”—he motioned to my letter—“is that you’re married to another man, one you don’t love, and aren’t free to pursue your liaison with this lover.”
I shook my head. While finding myself married to Liam was certainly an unexpected situation, I loved him dearly. “No, Liam, it’s not like that—”
“And the promise you made me on our wedding day that you had no past exploits and would honor our commitment to one another…that was nothing more than empty words.”
Tears burned my eyes as I frantically shook my head once more.
“I didn’t believe Aveline’s accusation,” Liam continued. “Just as I’d begun to doubt the rumors about your past reputation. But I was wrong to have faith in you.” He squeezed his eyes shut, as if looking at me was physically painful. “I suppose I needed to believe you. I wish I still could.”
“Liam…” I caressed his face. He allowed me to touch him for a few seconds before he severed our touch.
“Your resistance to me now makes sense,” he said. “I foolishly thought you just needed time, when in reality your heart has already been stolen by another man. Yet you continue to toy with me as you cheat on him. What is our marriage to you, Lavena? Another game?”
I could no longer contain my tears. His expression momentarily crumpled at my distress and he reached out as if to brush them away, but then he dropped his hand and stepped back, as if he no longer wanted to be near me. My heart shattered. I stepped forward, desperate to bridge the physical distance between us even as I desperately tried to close the chasm of our growing emotional distance.
“Please, Liam, our marriage is the most important thing in the world to me. I would never do anything to harm it. I’m not in a romantic relationship with Archer.”
His jaw tightened and he remained silent.
“You have to believe me.” I twisted the condemning ring brandishing my finger, more desperate than ever to yank it off. “The only man I’ve ever been in a relationship with is you.” I reached for his hand but he flinched away.
“Relationship? You mean the one you referred to as your situation? How awkward it must be to try and explain to a past tryst that you now find yourself married.”
I flinched. I hadn’t seen this Liam in a long time, the Liam who lashed out at me and cut me with his words. Only the raw pain filling his eyes made this Liam different from the one who’d been my husband at the beginning of our marriage.
“No, Liam,” I said, weak from the fight but still desperate for him to understand. “I’ve never done such a thing with anyone.”
A long, torturous moment of silence followed. “Well, I no longer believe you,” he spat, his tone as hard as his fierce expression.
Panic clawed at my heart. What was happening? All we’d built between us was now in danger of crumbling before my very eyes. I’d wounded my dear husband and I wasn’t sure how to fix it when the truth was locked away by the power of the ring. But I wouldn’t give up, not when my husband was hurting so deeply.
“Please Liam, Archer and I are only—friends. We’ve known one another our entire lives.”
“How touching,” he said. “Well, by all means, invite him to the palace so you two can continue knowing one another for the rest of your lives. Don’t let something like our marriage stand in your way.”
I winced at the stinging implication. “Liam, please.”
But he was already stomping away. “Don’t let me distract you from finishing your letter to your Dearest Archer.”
I scampered after him and seized his hand. He froze, breathing hard, before his gaze lowered to our connected hands. He stared at them unblinking before raising his wounded gaze to mine.
“Lavena…” The name came out as a strangled sob. He pressed my hand against his heart, as if desperate for me to reclaim it, even now.
“I know what this looks like,” I whispered. “But I swear, Liam, this isn’t what you think. Please, you have to believe me.”
His hands tightened around mine. “How can it not be? I can see you love this Archer; the emotion is in your eyes.”
“I’m not in love with him,” I insisted. “It’s different. Please, Liam, try to understand.”
“Then why are you clearly distraught at being caught writing him?”
“Because of what it looks like!”
He took a long breath, his hold on my hand tightening. “If he’s not a lover, then who is he?”
I struggled mightily to say my twin brother, but the words remained trapped in my throat as hot, burning pain spread up my arm. I gasped and instinctively yanked my hand away, a gesture which caused Liam’s softening expression to harden once more.
“I see. You have no answer for me.”
I clutched my hand to my chest, panting for breath, all while my tears of pain and frustration continued to fall. “Please, Liam.”
He took a wavering breath before meeting my gaze, his swirling with too many emotions for me to try and decipher them all. “I’ve grown to care deeply for you, Lavena, an outcome I never would have imagined before our marriage. Now that I feel what I feel for you, I want our relationship to work, but how can it when your disloyal heart is prone to wandering? How many more Archers are there between us?”
He reached out and wiped one of the tears trickling down my chin, as if he couldn’t help himself.
“I wish I hadn’t grown to care, not when caring is so painful. Indifference is the most effective shield, but it’s far too late for that defense.” He slowly backed away. “If only I could stop caring. Perhaps it was better when we were enemies.”
I gasped sharply. No, he couldn’t mean…. His insult dug deep into my heart as he stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving me stunned and heartbroken.
I’d always known Liam wasn’t mine, but with his departure, I still felt I’d just lost something precious—and I wanted it back, more than I’d ever wanted anything before.
Liam distanced himself from me for the remainder of the day, something he hadn’t done since our first week of marriage. When we were forced to be in the same room during dinner, he determinedly avoided looking at me, nor did he hold or play with my hand beneath the table like he normally did. The tension between us felt like a foreign stranger, one I was desperate to get rid of, but I had no means to do so as the ring held the key that could unlock our misunderstanding.
The king and queen retired early for the evening, leaving just me, Liam, and his sisters adjourning to the parlor. Normally, Liam and I curled up together in the same seat and had our own private conversation. Not tonight. While I headed for our usual settee just beneath the sunset-lit window, Liam settled on the opposite side of the room, a clear dismissal that nearly made me cry.
His sisters looked back and forth between us, Elodie scowling. “Whatever is the matter with you two?”
Liam didn’t answer. Aveline raised her eyebrows. “It appears the newlyweds are fighting.”
Elodie gasped. “But you can’t be. Things have been going so well.”
Liam glared at her. “Our marriage is none of your concern.”
She withered slightly. “There’s no need to be so curt,” she said as she picked up her embroidery. “I’m just concerned, but if you don’t want me to be, then I won’t ask.”
Following Liam’s sharp dismissal, silence reigned in the parlor. Liam continued looking everywhere around the room except at me, while the princesses all quietly embroidered. I didn’t embroider, too agitated to fake my way through my stitches. Instead I sat in misery, aching to get Liam to speak with me again.
“Liam?” I finally asked hesitantly.
He made no response, instead seeming rather occupied with the patterns in the ornate parlor rug. I took a shaky breath and pushed forward.
“I never got the chance to ask how your meeting went. Did it go alright? I know you were worried about it.”
He remained silent. Both Elodie and Rheanna looked up from their embroidery to glance back and forth between us, their expressions growing ever more anxious the longer the taut tension stretched on.
“I’m sure you did a wonderful job,” I shakily managed. “Especially since you prepared so thoroughly…” My voice trailed off as my words slipped away. Liam’s fists clenched and he was now glaring at the rug, as if fighting to keep his gaze there.
More torturous silence followed my failed attempts to engage my wounded husband. Soon it became unbearable even for the princesses.
Elodie finally spoke up. “Liam, why are you ignoring your wife?”
Still no answer. She sighed and glanced at me in hopes I’d elaborate. My cheeks warmed as I lowered my gaze. Aveline snorted, the most inelegant sound I’d ever heard from her.
“Since the unhappy couple is failing to satisfy your curiosity, I’ll happily oblige—dear Lavena has reverted back to her old unfaithful habits.”
My eyes burned with tears at her accusation, the perfect incentive to keep my gaze resolutely locked on my lap. I shook my head. “No, I haven’t.”
“Liam caught her this afternoon writing a letter declaring her love for that Archer fellow,” Aveline continued as if I hadn’t spoken.
Elodie gasped. “But Lavena, you told us you weren’t involved with him.”
“I’m not,” I said, my voice pleading. “I promise I’m not.”
“Then why did you write Archer declaring that you love him?”
I wrung my hands in my lap. “It’s not what it looks like,” I said. “I swear.”
“Maybe he’s a cousin?” Rheanna offered quietly from her usual corner.
“There are no Archers in the Lycerian royal family tree,” Aveline said with a smirk. “I’ve already checked. Now won’t you tell us who he is, Lavena?”
I bit my lip but said nothing. At my continued silence, Aveline’s smirk widened.
“In my research, I did find an Archer that works at the Lycerian palace, a peasant who’s a member of the royal hunting party.”
My cheeks burned, betraying me. Elodie gasped dramatically. “A peasant? Oh, Lavena. How could you choose a peasant over Liam?”
Liam stirred but I couldn’t look at him. “I don’t want him,” I stuttered. Any moment now my tears were going to escape. I ached to explain that Archer was my twin brother, but that relationship belonged between Archer and Anwen, the handmaiden who no longer existed.
Aveline pressed her hands on her hips, her eyes flashing with a challenge. “Then why have we caught you writing him twice?
“I wish I could explain,” I said as I fidgeted with my ring. “But I can’t.”
“You can’t explain why you decided to break my brother’s heart?”
I looked towards Liam, whose aloof expression had transformed into one of raw pain, vulnerability filling his eyes. “Oh, Liam…please.”
His jaw tightened and he looked away, his rejection clear, and I couldn’t contain my tears any longer.
Elodie gasped. “Don’t cry, Lavena.”
Liam’s gaze snapped to mine, his eyes filled with worry, a look almost as painful as his disdain. I could no longer bear the distance that had sprung up between us, nor endure the confrontation from his protective sisters.
I stood and hurried from the room.
Chapter 18
Our fight swirled through my mind like a recurring nightmare as I tossed and turned all night. I frequently sat up to stare longingly at the connecting door dividing our rooms, knowing that Liam slept just beyond the threshold, so close yet having never felt so far as he did now. The pain that had filled his eyes haunted me.
You always knew you’d hurt him. But I hadn’t expected to do it in this way. I collapsed back against the pillows and watched the long shadows dance across my canopy as I frantically spent the endless night trying to come up with a way to ease Liam’s hurt. I could see no way out with the ring’s sinister grip on my tongue.
When morning finally dawned, I got ready as quickly as possible so I wouldn’t miss Liam at breakfast. I was desperate for another chance to try and explain away our misunderstanding, but even though I waited at the dining table for an entire hour, he never arrived. My heart sank. He was avoiding me.
“Good morning, Lavena.”
I looked up gloomily from staring at my eggs and toast as Elodie skipped into the room, smiling cheerily. She made herself a plate from the sideboard and settled beside me. She frowned as she took in my untouched food.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t one to waste food—not when I’d spent so many times throughout my life hungry—but with my knotted stomach, I couldn’t force myself to eat a single bite.
Elodie’s expression softened into understanding. “Is it Liam?”
I managed the briefest nod. “Have you seen him this morning?”
She hesitated. “I briefly encountered him in the hallway. He claims he’s not hungry.”
He was definitely avoiding me. I sank several inches in my seat.
Elodie nervously swirled her eggs on her plate. “Is it true he caught you writing that servant, Archer?”
I ached to deny it. “It’s not what it looks like, yet I can’t explain it. He won’t listen.” Not that I could blame him. Given the real princess’s reputation, was it any wonder I appeared guilty?
“Well, I believe you. He’s being unfair…and rather ridiculous. How can you two resolve anything if you don’t communicate?” She took a sip of juice. “But don’t worry, he’ll come around. Liam can’t stay upset for long, especially with those he cares about.” She frowned. “Although admittedly he seems more hurt than upset.”
My heart twisted. That was worse.
The door opened to reveal the queen, smiling warmly. “Good morning, girls. I’m pleased you’re up, Lavena. I was hoping this morning I could tutor you in another of your duties as the new crown princess.”
My pulse quickened. The unresolved contention festering between Liam and me made the charade seem far too daunting to perform adequately, especially since I’d now lost my primary incentive to continue to pretend. But perform I must. I had no other choice.
I swallowed. “Today?”
“Yes. Do you object?” While her look was kind, it left no room for argument.
“Certainly not, Your Majesty.”
Her smile returned. “Then it’s decided. Don’t look so frightened, dear; this morning’s task is simple: receiving our subjects who’ve come to us seeking aid. You’ve surely done something similar in your role as Lycerian princess, so it shouldn’t be difficult.”
Even without the enchantment of the ring preventing me, I knew I’d never be able to form the words to tell her I had absolutely no experience in such matters. What little appetite I had left vanished. I pushed my plate away and waited anxiously until the queen had finished her meal.
By the time she rose from the table, the rest of Liam’s family had arrived…save for Liam himself. I avoided the penetrating and accusing stare of Aveline as I followed the queen from the room. Nerves squeezed my heart with every step. It took me two corridors to realize the queen was speaking to me.
“We meet our subjects in the receiving hall once a week,” she said. “It’s important to remain in touch with our people and do what we can to assist them. Most cases they present are easily handled; some are more difficult. I’ll allow you to deal with most this morning while I remain nearby in case you need me.”
Little did she know she was dealing with someone who’d never trained to be a princess at all, other than the instruction the advisor had given me after our honeymoon. I felt she was throwing me into the ocean and expected me to instantly know how to swim.
“Will Liam be there?” He always had a calming presence, but I doubted he was keen on being near me so soon after our fight.
“Not today. He has business with his father.” The queen eyed my expression with
concern. “You’re a bit pale. Are you alright, dear? Are you nervous or is something else troubling you?”
I couldn’t bear to tell her that I’d broken the heart of the man I loved. “I didn’t sleep well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Perhaps we should begin your duties another day.”
Despite the daunting task looming before me, it’d undoubtedly serve as a distraction; remaining alone with my miserable thoughts would be far more torturous than fumbling my way through my duties as crown princess.
I gave the queen my assurances I was feeling well enough, and in no time at all we arrived at the receiving hall. I froze in the doorway. The room was stuffed with people, mostly peasants, but also members of the middle class and the court, all forming a line waiting for the privilege of addressing us.
My nerves escalated into panic as I followed the queen past the bowing and curtsying subjects to take our places on the thrones at the front of the room.
A middle-aged woman approached first with an exaggerated curtsy. “Thank you for receiving me, Your Majesty and Your Highness. I come seeking aid for my ill husband. He’s been battling a fever these past several weeks and we haven’t the herbs we need to treat him, nor the means to acquire them considering he’s been unable to work.”
The heartache and nerves weighing on me lifted immediately as my heart swelled with sympathy. Thanks to my mother’s tutoring, I was familiar with basic herbal remedies and knew how to make them cheaply. I arranged for the herbs she needed to care for her husband and promised to visit her family personally, a promise I fully intended to keep.
She curtsied gratefully before she was replaced by another seeking aid, followed by another, then another.
Several hours sped by without my noticing. Most of the peasants had serious issues—having lost their crops in a recent hail storm, an illness in the family robbing them of their primary breadwinner, a stolen goat that had provided the milk and cheese that was their main livelihood. With each assistance I rendered, I felt my heart stir, as if Anwen were awakening from a deep slumber. Before Princess Lavena had taken me as her handmaiden, I could have easily been one of these peasants. The queen watched me, offering occasional guidance but mostly leaving me to my own devices, a pleased smile on her face.
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