A Thin Line

by Tammy Jo Burns

  “What are you doing here?” Derek greeted Gabe with a bear hug after dismounting. “Kala’s not in any trouble is she? I can’t believe she wanted to stay in town. She’s just so stubborn. Let’s go stable our horses.” The autumn air felt crisp, but not overly cold. This could very well be a year that the temperature stayed fairly mild. The two friends began walking back to the house when Gabe decided to broach the subject.

  “Derek, I have something to tell you. Where is Tessa?”

  “Inside, I suppose.”

  “Good. I need to tell you alone first, and this news will not endear me to her. Hell, it might even end our friendship.”

  “Did you and Kala get in another fight? When are you going to learn it is easier to walk away and let her talk to thin air?” He asked, picking up on the despondency in his best friend’s voice.

  “No, that isn’t it, well not directly. Derek, Kala and I were married a few days ago.”

  “You what?” Derek roared, stalking towards Gabe, his hands fisted, his sunny disposition falling to the wayside.

  Tessa came running through the open French doors, “What is going on?” She quickly took in the situation and saw her husband charging towards his best friend. She quickly walked over and stepped between the two. “Please tell me your sorry hide is worth saving,” Tessa whispered behind her to Gabe.

  “Do you consider me worthy enough to be your brother-in-law?”

  “What?” She whipped around and stared at him. For the first time since she met him, the man had a sheepish look on his face. In fact the confidence he usually exuded was non-existent.

  “As of two days ago.”

  “Derek,” Tessa quickly turned back around and threaded her arms through her husband’s. “Let’s hear him out and then you can decide whether or not you want to leave your sister a widow.”

  “Fine.” They all entered the study through the French doors and seated themselves before Derek turned to Gabe. “Start explaining.”

  Gabe told the story that had landed him and Kala in their current state of matrimony. He did not embellish, but merely told the facts. “Kala and I had a very small wedding. I wanted to write you, but knew a letter just couldn’t explain everything, and I needed to do this in person.”

  “Is Kala with you?” Tessa asked calmly while his best friend still seethed.

  “No. She doesn’t even know that I’m here. Things are not going well between us.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Kala is determined she is not fit to be a duchess, let alone mine, and looks for any excuse to end the marriage.”

  “I wonder where she got that idea from,” Tessa said softly.

  “I realize some of this is my fault.”

  “Some?” Derek yelled.

  “Derek, calm down,” Tessa put a restraining hand on her husband’s arm and left it there. Gabe looked at the two and realized what he had pushed away. Now they were married, and he had ruined any feelings she may have once held for him. He hadn’t realized until watching the subtle touches between Tessa and Derek how much he had yearned for a closeness like that with his wife. “Gabe you know you have pushed her into these feelings.”

  “I know that,” he answered stoically.

  “I don’t think you want her to have these feelings now, do you?”

  “I certainly do not want the divorce she is proposing. Nor do I want all these men sniffing about her skirts like she is a dog in heat.”

  “What about Lady Clarissa?” Tessa continued to interrogate him, ignoring his crude phrasing, while Derek remained silent, stiff.

  “Did Kala write you?”

  “She dictated a letter. I believe your grandmother wrote it for her. It did mention that you had been seen with Clarissa quite often, and now, she has disappeared among rumors of carrying your child.”

  “What?” Derek roared.

  “Shhh,” Tessa calmed Derek once more and scooted her chair closer to his.

  “It isn’t true. I thought Kala didn’t believe the rumors, but evidently I have pushed her too far. I don’t know what has happened with Lady Clarissa. I have attempted to contact her, but she seems to have disappeared. Her father left town on business. The step-mother and her brother have retired to the country practically overnight. If she is increasing, which I don’t see Clarissa as that kind of woman, it isn’t my child.”

  “Wait,” Tessa interrupted, confused. “I thought Lady Clarissa was an only child?”

  “She is. It is the step-mother’s brother.”

  “I see. You know you are going to have to be patient with Kala.”

  “I know. We had a huge argument before I left to come here.”

  “Derek, say something to him,” Tessa coaxed.

  “I should kill you.”

  “You should.”

  “I think my sister will make you pay well enough.”

  “I agree,” Gabe pushed himself up and walked outside to wander the quiet countryside.

  “He’s in shock,” Tessa said, a hint of amazement in her voice.

  “Why? Because I haven’t killed him?”

  “No. I don’t think he expected to feel so strongly about her,” Tessa said softly. “I think he has realized he can’t push her into the corner as he would have Lady Clarissa. And I believe that he has come to understand that he doesn’t want to do that with Mikala. He wants her by his side and that scares him.”

  “You truly think so?” Derek looked at her and considered her words. She merely nodded her head and patted his arm. “Poor bloke,” Derek sighed, shaking his head.

  ***

  Gabe spent several days with Tessa and Derek. Tessa hounded him the entire first day to send word to let Kala know where he was. He adamantly refused, citing that Kala never gave a thought about anyone, which incited another argument with Tessa.

  “Are you telling me you believe your wife to be selfish?”

  “No. I’m just saying I have known Kala for a lot longer than you have. She knows that Derek and I can take care of ourselves and has never spent a moment worrying over our safety.”

  “I think that’s a pretty narrow-minded view of someone.”

  “No, it’s just how Kala is,” he shrugged off the response.

  “Derek, aren’t you going to say something?”

  “Darling, I’m afraid Gabe is right. Any time we were in the thick of things growing up, Kala could be found right there with us. She never gave a thought to anyone getting hurt or maimed.”

  “Neither one of you have a clue do you?”

  “What do you mean?” Derek questioned his wife.

  “If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not telling you.”

  “That’s rather obtuse,” Gabe snickered.

  “I have a feeling you will know what obtuse is when you return home.” Gabe spent the rest of the days pondering over what exactly Tessa meant. When he finally questioned Derek, Derek just shrugged his shoulder and muttered something about women. Not wanting to ask anymore, Gabe pushed the comments aside and enjoyed spending time riding Derek’s land with him.

  The two shared ideas about farming as well as livestock. With their lands in two different areas of the country, it would be interesting to see what differences would have to be made to be successful. Gabe thought about showing Kala his favorite piece of land that he inherited. Instead of a large parcel with a huge house, it was land in a wooded area with brooks running through it. The house was a hunting lodge that was very masculine in both appearance and feel. He knew instinctively Kala would enjoy it. Hell, she would love the game available to hunt. The best part of the lodge is that no one else occupied it. There were no servants, which afforded a level of privacy that someone with his title rarely received.

  He lay in bed on his fourth night at Derek and Tessa’s when a startling revelation came to him. For the first time since thinking about the hunting lodge, he realized that Kala would not be able to see it. She would not be able to completely share the one place in his
demanding world that he found to be a haven. That thought alone made him see red once more and want to find the person responsible for her loss of sight. That thought led him to wonder how Kala spent her days. She must be extremely bored.

  Late into the night he tossed and turned. Worry crept into his thoughts. True, he had told the guard where he would be if something happened, but what if something happened to the guard? What if Kala found herself in danger, and he didn’t know? “Stop, you’re being ridiculous,” he muttered to himself. Regardless, he didn’t get much sleep that night and abruptly informed Derek the next morning that he would be returning to London.

  “It’s about time,” Derek told him.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that it is rather hard to convince a wife that she is not getting divorced if the husband insists on staying away from her.”

  “I haven’t been staying away from her.”

  “Come on Gabe. I’ve known you a long time and don’t try to pull one on me. You are now my brother-in-law as well as by blood,” he said bringing up an ancient memory for both, “and since I’ve had time to get accustomed to it, I think I rather like the idea. But here is the thing. With Kala, you can’t just tell her something; you have to convince her.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “True. You may even have to get her to believe that it is you that wants the divorce so that she is fighting you.”

  “You may have an idea there,” he hesitated a moment giving a mischievous smirk reminiscent of younger more carefree days, “brother.”

  “Go home to your bride and give her hell.”

  “I will.”

  “Oh and tell her I love her and am happy for her. That will mess with her mind.” The two broke into raucous laughter over that statement bringing Tessa to the hallway.

  “What is so funny?”

  “I believe my sister has met her match.”

  “Hawkescliffe, she is more fragile than she would have you think. Have some care with her.”

  “Oh, Tessa, you have been reading too many of your Gothic stories again.”

  “We would love to have you and Mikala join us for the Christmas festivities with everyone else. You know it is only a little over a month away,” Tessa invited, ignoring her husband. “We are going to follow one of Queen Charlotte’s traditions and will be having a Christmas tree this year,” she added enticingly.

  “We’ll see,” Gabe said noncommittally.

  He rode back to town girded with determination to win over his wife, and glad things had finally worked out between himself and Derek. Losing that friendship would be one of the most devastating things to happen in his life, even more than losing his brothers and father. What if he lost Kala? He rode harder hoping the wind would erase the thoughts from his mind.

  He arrived home mid-afternoon to be met at the door by his grandmother. “Where have you been?”

  Chapter 23

  “Why? Is something wrong with Kala?”

  “Mikala is fine. But you are a husband now. You must let her know where you are going. She has been out of her mind with worry when you didn’t return home that first night. Now here you show up almost a week later. You could at least have the decency to look wounded and not so hale and hearty.”

  “Thank you for those inspiring words, Grandmother. And I’m sure Kala barely knew I was gone.” At that moment he saw her step out of the door leading to the parlor. He noticed dark smudges under her eyes usually caused by lack of sleep. He walked over to her and rubbed the back of his fingers down her soft cheek. Gabe saw her flinch from his touch. “Worried about me?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” she denied. She refused to let him think that she had spent any night tossing and turning, worrying if he were alive or had met the same fate as Natalia. “What should I care if you want to get yourself killed playing spy?”

  “Playing?”

  She turned and walked to the piano across the room and began picking out a discordant tune. He winced at the anger behind the pounding on the keys. His grandmother motioned for him to join her in the hall out of Kala’s hearing.

  “Where have you been?”

  “Derek’s. I felt I needed to tell him I had married his sister. He is going to break the news to her parents for me.”

  “Good. Did he beat you?”

  Gabe barked a laugh. The music stopped temporarily then started back up. “Bloodthirsty aren’t you, Grandmother?”

  “Perhaps a little.”

  “No he didn’t, but only because Tessa ‘saved my sorry hide’ to quote her.”

  “Wise woman.”

  “I have some things to take care of in my office. I’ll see you for dinner.” He kissed her cheek and walked down the hall.

  “Children,” Judith muttered under her breath, shaking her head. She went upstairs to take care of some correspondence leaving Kala to take out her anger and frustrations on the poor piano.

  “The nerve of that man,” Kala growled in frustration followed by a cacophony of sound. “Gone a bloody week and never bothered to tell anyone where he went.” More pounding. “He could have been dead somewhere.” She struck the keys forcefully and let the music fade off into a discordant sound.

  She sat with her head bowed over the keys. She berated herself for caring about someone who didn’t reciprocate the feelings. He didn’t seem to care how she felt. Why should she care about him?

  “Damn him,” she said a bit hollowly and began to play once more. This time the music sounded haunted and fragile. With nothing else to keep her occupied, she found herself becoming quite good at the piano.

  What seemed like hours later, Kala let the mood of the music change. Pounding on the keys gave her an outlet, and since she had lost her sight she had to find new ways to take out her aggression. Once calm enough, she stood and walked towards one of the chairs that sat in front of the fireplace. They seemed to be having a mild autumn, and Mikala had not felt the need for a fire today, but enjoyed the big chairs that sat in front of the fireplace. They were perfect for thinking.

  She walked confidently to the chair and sat, falling hard to the floor. She gave a yelp of surprise. What had happened to the chair? Judith had instructed all the servants to leave the furniture in its place and had explained why. They readily agreed. So who would move the furniture after she had worked so hard memorizing the layout of each of the main rooms?

  Gabe’s mother came to mind, but she remained in her bed with a hurt ankle. She had attempted to get out of bed every day for the last three days, but always ended up hobbling back to it from what Judith reported. The doctor had come by and announced he feared one of the bones had chipped, making the injury more serious. Now the older woman had been ordered to remain abed. Did Gabe do it? Nothing had happened while he had been gone. Did he find joy in ridiculing her?

  She crawled on the floor until she found the chair, which happened to be a good two feet from where it should have been. Mikala put it back where it belonged and gingerly sat down, her bottom smarting after the fall. Would Gabe be so cruel as to do something like that? She didn’t need this to worry about on top of everything else. Perhaps one of the servants just forgot and moved it.

  “I’ve been at Derek and Tessa’s,” her husband’s deep voice came from the doorway.

  “What?”

  “I’ve been at Derek and Tessa’s,” he repeated.

  “Why?”

  “Why do you think?”

  “Are you black and blue?”

  “Funny. Grandmother practically asked me the same thing, and the answer is no, thanks to Tessa.”

  “I’ll have to have a talk with her.”

  “Kala, do you hate me that much?”

  “I haven’t decided.” The room remained silent for a few minutes except for his footsteps across the room and the creak of the leather chair next to her as he took a seat.

  “I didn’t know you played the piano.”

  “Horribly. B
ut I found when you can’t see, that is about the only activity left for one to do.”

  “Perhaps it won’t be permanent.”

  “The way my luck has been going lately, I won’t hold my breath.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing. How quiet do you think you can keep the divorce?”

  “You are not getting a divorce.” His voice sounded harsh and angry to Kala’s ears.

  “Why not? You made it clear months ago how you felt about me. You don’t want to be married to someone that you consider to be stupid.”

  “I never said that.”

  “You did. When you and Derek found Tessa and me at the folly.”

  “Kala…” he began.

  “Don’t you dare say you didn’t mean it, because you know that you did.”

  “Is that why you were so willing to turn me over to the authorities?”

  “Believe it or not, no. But that definitely destroyed anything I ever felt for you. I am not a stupid woman. I may act a bit impetuous sometimes, but I am not stupid.”

  “Point taken.”

  “Is that all you can say?”

  “You won’t allow me to apologize.”

  “It always comes back to being my fault, doesn’t it?”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore. I need to freshen up for dinner.” She turned to leave the room and fell over a coffee table that had been moved into her path. She tried to catch herself but felt her wrist twist and give. She landed hard against the edge on her side, losing her breath a little, before flipping completely over to land on the floor. She could only imagine she looked like a court jester of old attempting to make the king laugh.

  “Are you all right?”

  It took some moments for her to respond to his repeated entreaties. Her side stung and her wrist throbbed. She heard the concern in Gabe’s voice but still lashed out at him. “Why are you doing this to me? Do you enjoy watching me trip over things and make a fool of myself?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You moved the furniture on me. Is it your way of getting laughs? Let’s watch the blind girl fall?” She attempted to push herself into a sitting position, but groaned, grabbing her wrist. She lay back down on the floor.