by Marie Easton
Dr. Hernandez smiled and nodded in agreement. “I'm going to get your nurse and some supplies and we’ll take out the tube.” He turned and walked out of the room.
“Do you want me to step out?” Javier asked.
“No, I want you to hold my hand.”
He kissed my hand. “I won’t move.”
The doctor returned with the nurse and supplies. They set up and cleaned the site and draped it with a sterile cover. He then pulled out the tube. I closed my eyes not wanting to see anything. I felt Javier squeeze my hand letting me know he was right there. It didn’t hurt as much when they removed the tube as it did going into my chest.
“We’ll have you get an x-ray to document if you have any remaining pneumothorax. If you have any pain or difficulty breathing, let us know right away.”
“I will. Thank you, doctor.”
They left the room, but Javier stayed there still holding my hand.
“Thank you for staying with me.”
“You're welcome. I'm glad it didn’t hurt too much.”
“Where’s Javi today?”
“Hanging out with Ricardo and Veronica at home.”
“What did you get him for Christmas this year?”
“I haven’t shopped yet.”
“You’re kidding me. Christmas is in three weeks. What are you waiting for?”
“Honestly, I don’t know what to buy or how much to buy. In the past I just got him a gift, but now I have to figure out the Santa thing.”
“Did you take him to see Santa yet?”
“No. Should I? He hasn’t asked to go.”
“Javier, he’s three. You just take him and get his picture taken, and then ask him what he wants from Santa.”
“What do you think he wants?”
“You definitely need to replace Optimus Prime for him.” I stated with conviction. “He loved the iPad in the playroom the night of the opening. You should get him one.”
“An iPad? Seriously? He’s only three.”
“I know, but you can load learning apps and movies for him. I think he needs a swing set too. A big wooden one with a fort and slide.”
“Really.” Javier said, with the sarcasm usually reserved for me to display. “Isn’t that a lot?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. I think I'll get him the Hot-Wheels tractor-trailer and fill all of the slots with different Hot-Wheels cars.”
“Oh really, you’ve already thought all of this through?”
“Of course. I’m going to design his bedroom too.”
“You’re out of control.”
“Maybe a remote-control car or truck. Which does he like better, cars or trucks?”
“Trucks.”
“Interesting. You’re not a truck man.”
“I know.”
“Rebellion is good.”
“I know.”
I smiled at him, remembering all of the things we weren’t supposed to do, but did anyway. Yes, rebellion is truly good.
“When do you leave for Dawn’s wedding?”
“I'm supposed to go on Christmas Eve.”
“The wedding is New Year’s Eve?”
“Yes.”
“Is she having a big wedding?”
“Oh yeah, there are thirteen attendants. It’ll take us a half-hour to get down the aisle.”
Javier laughed. “I'm sure it will be everything she envisioned.”
“I guess. That’s not for me though.”
“What’s not for you? Marriage?”
“No, just the huge wedding thing. First of all, I don’t know enough people to have a wedding that size.” We both laughed. “I think small weddings are more romantic, that’s all.”
“I see.”
“Where are they going on a honeymoon?”
“Europe, of course.”
“Of course,” he snorted.
“I’m happy for her. She glows when she talks about Bradley.”
We were quiet for a few minutes and then I asked, “Are you taking Javi to see his mom for Christmas?”
“Yes.”
The air sucked out of me at the thought of him with Cecilia. Would the holidays stir up old emotions? When I came home, what if things had changed and I couldn’t spend time with them anymore? I tried to push back tears, but I felt Javier’s stare on me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Why don’t you tell me the truth when I ask how you feel?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean if I ask you what’s the matter, it's because I want to know.”
“I just got scared.”
“Scared about what?”
“That I’d come home and everything will have changed.”
“Changed how?”
“With Cecilia.”
He looked at me before answering. “My feelings for you won’t change. Not because of Cecilia, and not because of anyone else either for that matter.”
“What are you saying exactly, Javier? How can you be so sure?”
“I’m saying I love you. I loved you six years ago, and then I tried to hate you for making me go away. I tried to hate you when I found you and I wanted you to feel the pain I felt. The more I tried to tell myself I didn’t love you, the more I realized how much I did love you. I was secretly happy that Steven didn’t have the stamina to stick it out with you. I knew when I saw your face in the office that day, you had no idea I was alive. I knew you weren’t lying. Finding you in the mountains was incredible and I’d have stopped time there if I could. I know it's hard for you to accept my past, because you never stopped loving me and it feels like a betrayal to you, but I’m asking you to give us a chance.”
I smiled at him. “I’d like to do that.”
Chapter 32
I woke up Christmas morning and opened my computer. I’d made Javier promise to ‘face time’ with me so I could watch Javi open his gifts. I put in his number and waited for him to answer.
“Merry Christmas,” Javier said when he answered.
“Merry Christmas. Is he up?”
“Yes, can you hear him screeching?” Javier asked and he turned the computer so I could see Javi tearing through paper and opening gifts. He saw me on the computer and ran up.
“Look at what Santa got me, Kayla!” He held up his Optimus Prime and a remote control truck.
“Wow, Javi, you must have been a good boy all year.”
“Yep.”
I heard Javier tell him to look outside. Javi ran to the French doors. Outside, there stood an enormous playground set complete with a fort, rope ladder, swings, and a spiral slide. He stared at it. His mouth opened and I laughed watching him. My sister walked in the guest-room and saw me on the computer.
“Merry Christmas. What are you doing?”
“Watching Javi open presents.”
Dawn crawled into bed next to me and we watched the little boy run out and climb the rope ladder to the top and go inside the fort. We both laughed and Javier turned the computer back around to see me.
“Oh, hi Dawn. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas. It looks like Javi made out well.”
“That’s an understatement. Santa’s helper is extravagant.”
“I’ve heard that about her.” Dawn said laughing.
“Did he open the Hot-Wheels?” I asked.
“You mean these?” He turned the computer around.
I saw the cars all lined up. “Aw, he liked them?”
“He most definitely liked them.”
“Who else is there?”
“Nana and Tata are with us. We'll hea
d to Nogales later.”
“Does Javi have to go into Mexico? Are you staying with him when he is down there?”
“I’ll let him stay the night with Cecilia. Don't worry. I'll put my uncle’s security on the house. She won’t be able to go far with him.”
“Okay, if you’re sure it’s safe.”
Javier smiled at me. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to him.”
“I’ll hold you to that. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“Oh God, should I leave? You two aren’t going to have cyber-sex or anything, are you?” Dawn chimed in.
“It’s not a bad idea,” Javier said. “Can you step out?”
We all laughed and Dawn said, “I am so out of here. Talk to you later, Javier.”
“Bye.” After she left the guest-room, he said, “Was it something I said?”
I laughed. “Well, that is something we’ve never done.”
“I’d rather wait and have you for real.”
“Me too.”
“You’re coming home New Year’s Day, right?”
“Right.”
“What are your plans for today?”
“The usual holiday festivities. Open gifts, hang out with family, eat.”
“Sounds like fun. I'll call you later.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
I closed the computer. I just wanted to leave and go back home to Phoenix. Hopefully next year, we’d be together for the holidays.
I went downstairs and had breakfast with my sister and Bradley. We were going to Bradley’s parents’ house since my sister and Bradley had spent Christmas Eve with my parents already. Thankfully, I arrived late and had an excuse to skip seeing them.
After I showered and dressed, my sister came and found me sitting by the Christmas tree thinking about my boys.
“Hey, girl.”
I looked up and smiled at her. “Hey. Are you guys ready to go?”
“Almost. I need to tell you something.”
“That doesn’t sound like a happy thing.”
“Well, I don’t want you to get mad.”
“Now, I really don’t want to know.”
“Mom and Dad are coming with us to Bradley’s parents’ home.”
“What? Why?”
“Because they want to spend Christmas with us.”
“Dawn, you promised not to do this. I should have come after Christmas.”
“You need to face Dad at some point and I didn’t arrange this.”
“Well, does it have to be on Christmas?”
She cringed. “I’m sorry. What was I going to say?”
“How about ‘no’?”
“Kayla, please. Will you try to get through today without making a scene?”
“Do I have a choice?”
The doorbell rang and I knew I had my answer. Dawn got up to answer the door. I heard my parents wishing Dawn and Bradley a Merry Christmas. I continued to sit and ignore all their voices.
A few minutes later, my mom walked in. She walked over and hugged me. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
I hugged her back, a fast sideways one, but she pretended not to notice how light it was and how quick, but I didn’t speak.
She sat down on the couch next to me. “A penny for your thoughts?”
“I'm just thinking about my boys.”
“Your boys?”
“Javier and Javi.”
“Who’s Javi?”
So, Dawn didn’t tell her everything. “Javier's son.”
“I see. Is he, I mean, was he married?”
“He used to be, but not anymore.”
“I see.”
“Will they be coming to the wedding?”
“No. I didn’t think it’d be a good idea.”
“Well, I’d like to meet Javi sometime.”
“We’ll see.” I sat quietly. I had nothing more to say, not to her and definitely not to my father when I saw him. This whole set-up reeked. I probably shouldn’t blame Dawn for backing down, but Christmas or not, I wanted to scream at her for pretending nothing ever happened. For not standing up for me when I needed it most
“Shall we get going?” Mom asked softly.
I stood and waited for her to take the lead. I held my breath as I followed her toward the door. I ignored my dad as we all walked out. He looked at me, but didn’t say anything either.
I got into the car with Dawn and Bradley. My parents drove their own car. When we arrived, I was thankful to see several people. I wasn’t engaging in civil conversation with my parents.
A few hours later, I made my way out to the quiet front yard so I could call Javier. Before I tried his number, I heard my dad behind me.
“Kayla?”
I froze, not wanting to turn around. Not wanting to face him. Not wanting to rage at him on Christmas, although he’d wrecked my life just after New Year’s. Obviously, the holidays meant nothing to him.
“Kayla, please talk to me.”
I stood silent for a moment, but I shook my head. “No. I have nothing to say to you.”
“I’m sorry, Kayla. I’m sorry I didn’t think your feelings for Javier were real at such a young age. I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“I don’t believe you. Save your lies and your bigoted opinions for your next girlfriend. I’m your child. You of all people should have cared about me the most. You were so filled with hate and self-denial about your own unhappiness you couldn’t accept that I had found true bliss. What kind of a father does that?”
He turned and walked away, snow crunching under his shoes. I decided to wait to call Javier. He’d hear the distress in my voice and I didn’t want that. I stood there and let the cold air hit my face.
When I had my own children, I wouldn’t be like my father. I’d find a better way to raise my kids. I realized I assumed I was going to have children. I wondered what the future held in store for me and then my phone rang, startling me out of my daydream. “Hello?”
“Hey, darlin’. What are you doing?”
“Nothing. What are you doing?”
“I'm at my mom’s. I can’t sleep without Javi here with me.”
“I can’t sleep without either one of you. When does our boy come home?”
“Tomorrow. What’s the matter?”
“I miss you guys.”
“Miss you too.”
“Are you heading back to Phoenix tomorrow?”
“No, I'm going to stay a few days with my parents. They miss Javi.”
“That will be nice.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“My dad is here.”
Javier was silent.
“He apologized and I didn’t believe him so I didn’t forgive him.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? He was horrible to you.”
“I know, but he’s still your father.”
“It’s going to take more than an apology.”
“Well, get some rest. Helping your sister get ready for the wedding will make the rest of the week fly.”
I sighed, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“I love you most.”
Chapter 33
The processional music played as I walked down the aisle, Canon in D, a beautiful song. When I got to the altar and turned, the wedding march began.
My dad escorted my sister down the aisle and I fumed still not in agreement with Dawn letting him give her aw
ay. I felt like he deserved the same pain he dealt to us but Dawn had a greater capacity for tolerance than I did. She claimed to still be distant from him, but felt empathy for my mother and so she and Bradley decided to give them this moment.
Dawn looked beautiful as she sauntered toward us in a one-of-a-kind designer dress. It had a fitted bodice and a full skirt with a profuse number of beads and pearls inlaid into the fabric.
I smiled and glanced at Bradley who no longer recognized that the church was full of people. He stared at my sister. My father handed her over to Bradley and took a seat beside my mom. If only, he’d have done that for me years ago. I listened attentively to the priest as the wedding began and wished I wasn’t here alone. I couldn’t wait to go home tomorrow. The priest asked for the rings and they proceeded to say their vows.
That was it. Four months of preparation and planning was over in thirty minutes. Everyone cheered as they were declared husband and wife. The priest gave his final blessings and then the music started again. With the best man at my side, I followed Dawn and Bradley out of the church to the limo taking us to the reception.
~ ~ ~
Midnight was minutes away. I missed home and was ready to leave. Someone made an announcement to get a glass of champagne as the big moment approached. I held my glass as I stood alone, watching the happy couples around me. Even my parents looked happy tonight.
Two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back. I felt the familiar feel of a body against me and I looked down to see Javier’s hands holding me tight from behind. Before I turned, I heard him whisper in my ear, “Happy New Year.”
I smiled over my shoulder at him. “You came.”
“I couldn’t wait another day.”
The countdown began to midnight. Javier took my glass and set it on the table next to us. He leaned down and kissed me with such passion that I forgot we were standing in a room full of people. People yelled and confetti dropped, but we never stopped.
“Um, excuse me but midnight rang in a while ago.”
We broke apart to see who was talking to us. It was Dawn and Bradley. I smiled at her and rested my cheek against Javier’s chest. I wasn’t letting go of him.