Shadow Dancer Boxed Set

by Courtney Rene

  "Yeah, I could eat. What are you in the mood for?" he asked. He took my hand and we made our way back into town by way of the trail this time. It was getting late and it would be quicker to take the path down instead of the road.

  "Come have dinner at my house. My mom'll feed ya."

  "You sure? You ready to invite me home to meet the parents already?" He sounded like he was joking, but there was a layer of seriousness in his voice. I looked up at his face from the corner of my eye. He seemed relaxed enough, but there was something there. I just didn't know what it was. Maybe I couldn't see past the dark hair and blue eyes. How selfish is that I wondered?

  "It'll be fine. Come on, I'm hungry," I said, not giving him a chance to beg off and not come home with me.

  Chapter Five

  Understanding

  "Knock, knock!" my mother said from the doorway of my room. She was peeking in, pretending to be unobtrusive. I was annoyed so I ignored her while keeping watch from the corner of my eye. I was sitting on my bed, reading my book for American History. Not taking my subtle hint, she walked into my room and wandered around.

  I watched as she poked around on my dresser and desk. I was pointedly ignoring her, and it was evident she knew it. She looked at the book I was reading and said, smiling at me, "I'll save you some time, the priest did it." I didn't respond, just kept pretending to read.

  "Sooo…are you going to sulk all night?" She dropped down heavily on the bottom corner of my bed with a bounce, causing me to have to acknowledge her. I sighed loudly, marked the page of my book and tossed it aside.

  "You were rude," I accused. I crossed my arms over my chest to show I was not ready to forgive and forget, as it appeared she was hoping.

  "How was I rude?"

  "Oh come on, it wasn't just you and you know it! You were insulting to my friend and you embarrassed me. Why would you do that?"

  I had brought Leif home with me with promises of a good meal and good company, but my parents had been truly ugly the whole time. Leif, however, was unerringly polite and quite impressive with his show of manners. He left soon after the meal was over. Probably running from us, it was so bad. The night kept swirling through my head, and I was angry all over again.

  "You basically called him dirty, lazy, stupid."

  "We never once called him stupid," my mother interrupted.

  "Oh well, uneducated then, my bad. I just don't understand. How could you do that!" I was so angry my eyes were watering. I was not going to cry, I was telling myself, but I felt the tears begin to crest over and down my face anyway.

  "Sunny, you don't even know that boy. Do you know how old he is?"

  "Yes," I said indignantly, "he is eighteen, which is only a year older than me as I am turning seventeen in two months. Plus, he happens to be smart. He graduated high school at seventeen. Can you say the same thing?" I was so angry on Leif's behalf I was shaking. I had to calm down though. See, you have to know how to deal with my mom. If I let myself get too angry, I get sloppy with my responses then she will walk all over me with her own arguments then simply ignore mine, as I was just being "emotional."

  "Okay, well then, I don't know this boy. I don't want you to get attached to him. You know how we move around a lot. In fact, we are already thinking of heading out just after Christmas. I don't want to see you hurt."

  Oh my God, this news stopped me in my tracks. I didn't even breathe for a moment. Then I exploded into action. I hopped off the bed, and okay, I even stomped one foot, but that was just to make my point.

  "You can't!" I shouted. The calm, cool, collected, almost seventeen year old that I was, was shouting. Yes I know, I just couldn't help it. I was panicked at this news.

  "We just got here! I just started to make friends! I...I just got started in my classes. We are NOT moving. You can't do that to me again." I can't remember a time when we stayed more than nine to twelve months in any given area, but this was beyond the norm. We had only moved here in August, right before school started.

  My mother laughed. She actually laughed. "Oh, Sunny, don't be dramatic, for heaven's sake. You know this is our way. Your dad's job moves around, so we move around with him." She smiled and shook her head at me like I was a child being ornery and stood up from where she had been calmly sitting during my tirade. See what I mean about never winning an argument? I stood in my pj's and my socked feet, with my mouth hanging open, while my mother gently placed a kiss on my cheek, said "Goodnight," and left, as though I had said nothing. As if my feelings and arguments meant nothing.

  I threw myself across the bed and let myself have a good cry. Frustration does that to me. I was overwhelmed with useless feelings. After I had cried out the worst of my anger, I sat up on my bed and replayed the night. First, there was the weirdness at dinner with Leif, now the sudden decision to move again. An absurd thought was forming in my head, but the idea didn't want to come forward. I was missing something. I got up and paced around my room. My mind was trying to think it through. Not just tonight, but the past as well. Why did we move so much?

  I stopped pacing in front of my window and looked out into the night at the stars and the moon. The moon was almost full, and it lit up the ground, making shadows that blended into the night. I let my turbulent thoughts go, deciding to let my mind rest for a while. Maybe my thoughts would sort themselves out on their own. Instead, I had something I wanted to work on, something I could do.

  I mentally pulled the shadows up off the floor and wrapped myself up in them. I listened for the hum and waited for the cold to envelope me. I was going to get better at this so it was not such a process. I wanted to pop in and out of the shadows like Leif could, without the struggle.

  Once the hum was off, I knew I had made it into the shadows. I opened my eyes and looked around. What I hadn't noticed earlier was that everything looked tinted, as if I was wearing a pair of light sunglasses. I took a breath and let the shadows fall to the ground. That part was easy. It was getting into the shadows that was hard.

  I stepped over in front of my mirror, took a moment to prepare, and started all over again. I listened for the hum, felt the cold, and watched in amazement as I disappeared from sight in the mirror, which was a bit creepy to watch, by the way. It was much easier this time. I felt a smile curve my lips, and realized for the first time that Leif was right. This really was power. I may not be a super woman, but I was something special. Leif was also right about it being fun. I again let the shadows fall to the floor and stifled a giggle. I could not, however, stifle the gasp that escaped when I heard a tap on my window.

  I spun around and saw Leif waiting outside my window. I dashed to the window and threw it open, grabbed him by the shirt, and jerked him in. "What are you doing out there? Are you trying to kill yourself?" I whisper-yelled at him. He was quietly laughing as we tumbled to the floor in a heap.

  "You are such a girl," was his offhand reply. Then he immediately popped into the shadows without any warning.

  My mother suddenly came back through the door and said, "What on earth are you doing in here?"

  I turned to look at her, thinking furiously how to answer. "The window was stuck."

  She cocked up an eyebrow. I kept an unconcerned look on my face and waited her out. After a brief glance around the room, she left. Finally.

  "The window was stuck?" Leif said sarcastically from behind me, making me jump. Dang it, I was beginning to hate that. I spun around to face him, but couldn't keep from smiling, I was so glad to see him. I impulsively wrapped my arms around his waist, leaned in, and searched for comfort, which he gave without thought. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close, giving me what I needed. I lay my head against his chest and listened to the beat of his heart. He didn't rush me, or talk; he just put his chin on my head, and held me.

  Finally, I looked up at him. "Hey," I said.

  "Hey right back at ya," he replied. "So you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

  "What are you doing here?" I asked, evasiv
ely, not quite ready to discuss what had happened after he had left.

  "I heard the hum."

  "Oh." I really needed to pay more attention. If he could hear me when I jumped into the shadows through the humming, then I should be able to hear him too. "Why do we hum?"

  He gave me a brief squeeze then stepped back from me. I watched patiently as he scoped out my room. Thank God, it was not too dirty. "I don't really know. I think maybe it is the sound of the shadows calling or singing. I guess that sounds stupid." He shrugged his shoulders then he held up a ceramic statue of an English Mastiff dog that had been sitting on my dresser among many.

  "I've never been allowed to have a real dog," I said, answering his unasked question. "I collect the statues instead. We move too much. It wouldn't be fair to the dog. Or at least that is what I am told. My parents...we are moving again." I sat down with a huff on my bed, pulled my feet up under me and waited for his response.

  "Why?" He didn't seem too concerned when he sat down next to me and took hold of my hand. It was then my thoughts finally aligned. I looked at his face with dawning realization.

  "I think because of you." Once I said it, I knew it was the truth.

  Leif just snorted out a laugh. "I didn't realize I was that scary."

  "We have always moved a lot, and I mean a lot. I've never been able to have attachments. Oh my God, Leif!" I jumped up from the bed and paced, trying to get my tangled emotional thoughts sorted out. "They have done this my whole life, and I never realized it until just now. Do you know what this means? Do you have any idea how many friends I've had to say goodbye to?" I was upset, confused, and angry. My insides were all trembly and my brain kept shouting at me, why? Why? I had no idea.

  "Maybe they're afraid of losing you. Have you ever tried to locate your real parents? I have heard adoptive parents can get that way." He was speaking with knowledge in his voice.

  I tilted my head in question and said, "I'm not adopted."

  Then he was frowning at me again. After what seemed like forever, he said, "Are you sure, Sunny?"

  At that moment I wasn't sure of anything. Before I could say anything, he hopped off the bed to walk to the window and gaze out into the night. "Have you ever seen that Disney movie about the superheros in high school?"

  He changed subjects too fast sometimes. It was hard to keep up. "No, not really," I said.

  "Maybe you should watch it," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows and an easy smile. Did he even have to try to be cute? I didn't think so, he just was.

  "I don't know all that much about shadow walking, but in that movie, the superheroes got their powers from their parents. Not all of them, some were dumped in toxic waste or something, but most were hereditary heroes."

  He turned and leaned back against the window, looked directly at me with his icy blue eyes, and asked, "Which of your parents can shadow walk?"

  Surprise coursed through my body. Oh that day just sucked! I was on information overload. Shadow walking, moving, possible adoption, way too much to try to deal with at one time. I didn't have an answer to his question and he knew it, darn it all. "Which of your parents could do it, then?" I shot back at him, trying to wound him as he had me.

  "That's just it." He was still smiling, seemingly as unconcerned as ever. "I don't think either of us knows who our real parents are. What does that mean? I don't know that either. But it is something to think about."

  "We don't actually know for a fact that I'm adopted. You could be wrong, you know." I was not quite ready to take on that aspect of my suddenly traumatic and confusing life.

  "Maybe."

  I was tired. It had been a really long day. I climbed into my bed and lay my head on my pillow facing him. "Are you staying?" I asked.

  He pushed away from the window, walked to the bed, and sat down. "Do you want me to go?"

  I didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't want to think anymore. I didn't want him to go, either. I was feeling vulnerable, and I knew once he left I would feel lonely too. So, to solve the problem, I pulled him down next to me. We were almost touching nose-to-nose. I looked at him and he at me, and I felt safe and not so alone in that one moment. At least I had him. His warm breath fanned out across my cheek. I gave him a smile which he returned. Leif tangled our hands together, connecting us.

  I closed my eyes and went to sleep. I didn't feel him get up and place an afghan over me, and I didn't hear him leave. I just woke up the next day at the sound of my alarm, alone.

  Chapter Six

  Dancing

  Leif and I fell into a pattern over the next several days. If it was a school day, Leif would meet me outside in the morning and walk me to school. He would meet me for lunch and we would spend my lunch period together. He would then be waiting for me after school, where we would spend our afternoons practicing, or just being with each other.

  If it was the weekend, things were a bit more tense. Since I refused to hide Leif from my mom and dad, and they would have been happy to pretend Leif didn't exist, we didn't stick around my house.

  Leif was spending most nights with me. He was always gone by the time I woke up in the morning though, so I never really knew when he left. I was a bit concerned about whether Leif actually had a place to live. He always had clean clothes and was always fresh from a shower when meeting me in the mornings, so he had to have someplace to go. He never invited me over, and I was too afraid of embarrassing him to ask.

  I also had yet to approach my parents and ask them the adoption question. I was still pretending the issue would just go away if I left it alone. I was pretending a lot these days. Leif, to his credit, didn't push me too hard. I was grateful.

  It was growing dark earlier in the day as autumn was in full swing, being close to the end of October. It was barely seven-thirty at night when twilight came. We were walking down the square heading toward Renee's for pizza. As we were just passing the tavern, Leif pulled me to a stop. I looked up at him to see him grinning wickedly, dimples twinkling, and an eyebrow crinkled up. I couldn't help but smile back at him when he looked at me that way. "What?" I asked.

  He looked up and down the street and then said, "Phase."

  I was up for a bit of fun, so without question, I pulled the shadows up and over me almost without thought and waited for Leif to do the same.

  As he still was not able to see me unless we were touching, I immediately took his hand. Leif had his lovely blue halo, and I, of course, had no color at all. So far, we had been staying to ourselves when we were shadow walking. Leif thought it safer that way, while I was still getting used to phasing in and out of the shadows. It was kinda exciting to try it in public.

  I started to ask him what now, but he placed his hand gently over my mouth and gave a quick shake of his head. I forgot that although people may not be able to see us when we were in the shadows, they could still hear us. That was not something we had to worry about when we were practicing up on the hill alone. I gave him a scrunched-nose smile and a nod of understanding then followed along as he pulled us into the old tavern.

  I started to protest and pull us back out, but Leif just turned to me and gave a gentle pull on my arm with a devilish look, daring me to chicken out. I rolled my eyes at him and meekly followed him in.

  I looked around the bar and it was, well it was kind of dirty. I guess I expected something else. It was dim and had a long bar scarred from cigarette burns and time. There were old worn wooden tables and chairs scattered haphazardly around the open space. Plus there was a band playing loudly on a small stage. They weren't too bad. I could make out the song they were playing by Vampire Weekend. Alternative rock is my favorite. In front of the stage was a small square dance floor.

  There were several people milling about and one couple gyrating to the music on the dance floor, and…they all had colors! So not fair! The burley man behind the bar had a brown, inky halo. The colors of the couple dancing were meshing together, but it looked like the woman's was soft yellow, and the man'
s was spring green. There was also a man at the bar drinking alone and watching a small television. His color was also green, but it was a dark forest green.

  Deciding the band was loud enough to cover just about any noise I could possibly make, I stood up on my tip toes and pulled Leif's head down to mine and whispered, "Are you sure I don't have a color?" This was quite a bone of contention with me. Everyone else had a color, why not me?

  I saw rather than heard Leif as he evidently sighed then said, "No, I swear, you don't have a color. I'm sorry, Sunny, no color." He made a slashing motion with his arm to punctuate his meaning.

  "But everyone else in here has one. How can I not have a color?" I admit that I whined just a little here.

  This caused Leif to stop and really look around at the people in the dim bar. Then he glanced back down at me and shrugged. "I don't see the colors, Sunny." He paused a moment in thought then said, "Maybe that's why I don't see your color, maybe I can't."

  I thought about that for a moment and decided I liked that explanation. I had a color. Leif just couldn't see it. Yeah, that worked for me.

  The band changed to a slow love song. Leif gave me a wicked grin and towed me to a dim corner of the small dance floor. I was suddenly feeling quite awkward. I just didn't do the whole dance thing. Frankly, I never had the opportunity since we moved around so much. I hadn't yet had the chance to date or dance.

  Without giving me time to work myself into a real good panic, Leif wrapped me up in his arms and pulled me in close. One arm wrapped around my waist, the other around my upper back. I mirrored his movements then tried to relax. I laid my head against his chest where I fit perfectly against his heart. He rested his chin on the top of my head then we moved.

  I wouldn't call it dancing, as it was so much more. It was gentle and flowing. I relaxed the moment his body heat surrounded me. It was a moment of complete togetherness. I was coming to love those moments, but that one was my favorite so far.