Shadow Dancer Boxed Set

by Courtney Rene

  I walked over and stood directly in front of her and took her cold hands into mine. She was several inches taller than my five feet four inches, so I had to look up to see her face. "I promise I will come back, in ten days. Easter Sunday, I'll be back. I expect turkey and homemade noodles to be waiting," I added with a smile.

  I didn't want to fight with her. She didn't really want to fight with me either. We both knew I was going, and we both knew there was nothing she or dad could do about it.

  Everything had changed since August when I'd discovered that a race of humans existed that could walk in the shadows, and that I was one of them. I was not the easy going, boss me around girl that I had once been. Learning that I was a Shadow Walker was hard enough to take, but learning that I may also be royalty, was even harder. My Thanksgiving night battle with the Shadow Guard from Acadia had taken away the innocence that other girls my age still had.

  I was afraid all the time now. I was afraid of the dark. Not really the dark, but what I couldn't see in the dark. I was afraid of being alone. Bad things happen when you're alone. Leif was taking my phobias rather well, thankfully, hardly ever leaving my side. He seemed to understand, which was a surprise, as I didn't. Then you had what no one knew but me, that I was afraid of my gift of energy control.

  What a crock, I couldn't control it. Sometimes it seemed to be trying to control me. I would get startled, or when I was afraid, I would instinctively pull the energy to me and inside. I wouldn't even know I was doing it until I'd feel it zipping around in me.

  I didn't want anyone to know, so I would slowly push the energy back out of me through my feet, into the ground. It burned and tore at me every time now. I hated that gift. Why did I have the gift of energy control when I was afraid to use it? What was the point? I was afraid of hurting someone, and I was afraid of the slicing pain that came with it every time.

  Leif said time and again how cool my energy gift was. If he only knew what a real burden the gift was, I don't think he would have felt that way. Why didn't I tell him? I didn't want him to think of me as weak.

  Then you had the changes with my family. We used to be close. We could talk about anything. My mom seemed to know everything that was going on. She wanted to know everything that was going on. Since I had told my parents about shadow walking and Acadia, the kingdom on the other side of the shadows, they were different. They were very careful how they acted around me. They picked their words carefully whenever they spoke to me. They watched me, stared at me when they thought I didn't notice. We hardly spoke, we almost never touched, and we didn't talk about Acadia and shadow walking.

  We had lost something. What was worse, I think they were afraid of me. That hurt more than the distance between us. I didn't say anything though. I didn't know what to say or do to make it better. I wished they could see that I was the same girl they loved and had watched grow up. I was just what I liked to call improved.

  "I love you, mom," I said. I reached around her and gave her a squeeze. I stood there like that and waited for her to return the hug, but she just stood there, frozen. I felt my heart twinge in pain at the loss of the easy love my mother used to show me. I dropped my arms and looked down at the floor. I didn't want to see the emotions on her face. "I better go get packed. I'll see you in the morning before we leave. Night."

  I headed out of the room, but at the door I stopped, looked over my shoulder, and said, "Maybe this will be a good break for us." I didn't wait for her response. I went to my room and closed the door.

  I sat down on my bed and looked at myself in the mirror above my dresser. What did they see when they looked at me? I didn't look any different that I could tell. My golden blond hair fell in waves over my back and shoulders down to my waist. My blue eyes were dark and looked too big for my face, but they always had, that was nothing new.

  What was new though, were the dark purple half circles under my eyes. I hadn't been sleeping well. Even with Leif staying with me through the nights, I couldn't seem to relax. I didn't feel safe anymore.

  My cheeks were prominent, and my mouth looked upside down to me, with the top fuller than the bottom. My skin was unblemished but very pale. That was part of the Shadow Walker heredity. All Shadow Walkers had the same pale skin. It helped us take in the shadows.

  I shrugged my shoulders. I looked the same as I always did. What I had said to my mom about the trip being a nice break was true. I could use a break from them as well. My self-confidence had been taking quite the bashing.

  I stood up and got busy packing. I had a list from Leif of the basics I was to pack, but I had my own "extras" I planned on taking. The most important one being my mp3 player, charged and ready. I also threw in several apple cinnamon granola bars. I didn't know what to expect in the food department. When I had asked Leif, he just said it's "about" the same. I wasn't taking any chances.

  The only requirement Leif had was that I had to make everything fit into one backpack. It's a good thing it was a warm weather place and I could pack mostly shorts and tanks, otherwise I never would have gotten all my clothes into that one bag. Hello, I'm a girl. I needed extras like my make-up and hair stuff. Plus I wanted more than just a pair of sneakers. I had a few pairs of flip-flops I wanted, so I crammed them in as well.

  Although there was no noise, I was instantly aware of Leif as he slid silently into my room via the open window. He liked to phase into the shadows and try to take me by surprise, but for some reason, I could always feel him when he was near. I wasn't able to feel anyone else though, I didn't have that ability. So, I was prepared when I was suddenly scooped up from behind and tossed onto the bed playfully.

  Leif dropped the shadows as he fell over me. He sat lightly on my stomach and hips, and caged me in with his arms. "Hey," he said.

  I looked up into his ice blue eyes and wondered how I could have ever thought him cold and un-feeling. His dark hair fell forward and tickled my cheeks.

  I felt my lips curve into a smile and replied, "Hey back at ya."Then I raised one eyebrow and added, "Want to fool around?"

  Leif smiled in return, and his sweet dimple made an appearance. "Always," he said. Then he bent over me and gently caressed my lips with his own.

  I wanted more than a teasing kiss though. I wanted to be devoured. I wanted to not have to think anymore. I lifted my arms up and twined them around his neck to pull him closer to me. Then I took over and deepened the kiss.

  He tried to hold back, but I felt the moment he gave in to me. His arms wrapped around me, squeezed me up close against his body. Our hearts both beat hard and fast. I felt him twist one hand around my hair. Then he pulled my head back. He left my lips and nibbled his way down my neck before he came back to my mouth, which was where I wanted him.

  I was breathing him in and truthfully not thinking at all, when suddenly he was gone. My arms were empty, and I felt a cool breeze drift across my warm body. I opened my eyes and saw him at the end of my bed. He stared at me.

  "What happened?" I asked him.

  "Sunny, we can't do this."

  "Why? We seemed to be doing it just fine," I replied. He always did that to me. We had been going out together for almost six months and this was as far as we ever got. We had been sharing a bed each night for months. Always sleeping. Just sleeping. The moment it seemed we would go further than just kissing, he pulled away from me. He was a guy. What was the problem? It was frustrating me.

  "We just can't."

  "Why?" I asked again. "Don't you want me?" I was feeling crushed and rejected, and well, quite embarrassed. There I was throwing myself at him and he wasn't interested.

  He came back to my side and pulled me up close against him. I snuggled back into his warmth and waited for him to answer me.

  "Sunny, I want you. You know I do. I want you all the time. I love you. It's just that this doesn't feel right."

  It felt just fine to me. More than fine, it felt right.

  "Besides, we have a big day tomorrow. We should get some sle
ep."

  All I could think was, seriously? I gave in though, like I always did. I didn't want to fight. If he got mad, he might leave, and I didn't want to spend the long night alone without him. In the dark.

  So, I got ready for bed, brushed my teeth, put on my pj's, and got into bed. Leif, pulled me up next to him, wrapped me up close and whispered, "Don't be mad at me."

  "I'm not, I just don't understand, Leif. Why do you always pull away from me?"

  "Go to sleep, Sunny." He gave me one tight squeeze and then reached up and turned out the light.

  "Wait," I said, "don't forget the little light."

  "Sunny, you don't need the night light. I'm right here."

  "Yes, I do. Please, just turn it on. You're right there next to it." I felt my heart start to pound in my chest. Hard.

  "Sunny, we go through this every night. There is nothing to be afraid of. Come on, just try it."

  Yes, we did go through it every night, so he shouldn't have been at all surprised that I didn't want to be in the dark. I don't know why I was so adamant lately about the dark, but I was, and he knew it. I took in a deep breath to try to calm myself down but it didn't do me any good. I took in another and then another, and suddenly I was panting. "Yes, there is," I finally managed to speak. "I know what's in the dark."

  Leif put his hand flat against my chest and pulled me in tighter to his body. "Take one breath, Sunny. You need to calm down. Come on, you can do this."

  "No I can't. Just turn on the light." I felt my body break out into a cold sweat. The darkness pressed in on me. I couldn't take in any air. I couldn't breathe.

  I felt, as well as heard, Leif sigh in defeat. "Okay, okay, Sunny. I'll turn on the small light." He reached down next to the bed against the wall and flipped on the little flower-shaped light. The room was instantly bathed in a soft pink glow.

  It wasn't very bright, but it was enough that I was finally able to take in a deep breath and slow my frantic heart. The pressure began to fade off of my chest, the darkness eased back from me.

  "Leif..."

  "Good night, Sunny."

  "Are you mad?" I had to ask.

  "No."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Night," he said again.

  "Night," I replied. He was mad. He just didn't want to admit it. I couldn't help how I felt about the dark. I knew it was unreasonable but it was very real to me. I knew what was in the dark. It wasn't anything good. It was death, and lies. I didn't like it. I was afraid of it.

  ~ * ~

  The next day dawned, bright and shiny. Leif was already gone like usual. I got up, got dressed in my favorite low rider jean-shorts, a white t-back tank and a yellow tank layered over top of it. I grabbed a zip-up jacket and decided I was ready to make my debut visit to Acadia. I was excited. Leif hadn't really told me anything about the land, just that, "I would see it when I got there."

  That wasn't very helpful. That seemed to be his answer to everything lately. "It's easier if I just show you." Whatever, I was excited. Okay, and a little scared, but a happy, fun scared. That was okay.

  "Ten days. I'll be home for Easter. I promise," I said to my parents as we stood at the door. Leif had arrived and he was anxious to get going.

  I grabbed my allotted one bag and leaned in to give my dad a hug.

  He at least hugged me back. "Be careful, Sunny."

  I breathed in his scent of soap and coffee and smiled. "I will."

  When I leaned in to give my mom a hug, she just stood there. I squeezed her tightly anyway. I needed the connection before I left.

  "Bye," I said at the door. I waited for a moment, waited for something from them, some emotion, some feeling. Something. I shook my head once when I didn't get it. I gave up and opened the door to go.

  "Wait!" my mom said. She rushed over and grabbed hold of me then squeezed tight. "I love you." She said it harshly. She said it forcefully. "Don't you forget it either. You come home to me. Ten days, Sunny. I'll be waiting."

  That was what I had been waiting for, for months. That was what I needed. I leaned in against her and hugged her back, soaked in her warmth. My eyes got a little teary, I admit it.

  "I love you too," I said to both of them. I took a deep breath and was finally able to walk out the door. I was ready to go.

  Leif gave me his dimpled smile and took my hand in his. Then we made our way up to our clearing by the cross, at the top of Kontner's Hill that overlooked the City of Nelsonville.

  The trees were just coming back to life from their long winter's sleep. The spring buds were falling off and tiny yellow green leaves were just beginning to poke out. The pine trees were starting to get their new green tips, and the ground was littered with pinecones. I love spring. It's a time for new beginnings. It was the perfect day for my first trip to Acadia.

  "Okay, explain how this works," I said and turned to Leif.

  He wore a navy blue zip-up sweatshirt which happened to match the one I wore. His long black hair was tied back from his face in a short ponytail. His black skinny jeans showed off his muscled legs, and I was happy to note, his butt. I felt a smile curve my lips and realized I really was ready to go. It would be an adventure. It would be fun.

  "First we need to phase into the shadows," Leif said.

  Together we pulled the shadows up around us and let them fall over our bodies, blanketing us in their cool folds and in effect, making us invisible to those around us.

  I reached out and took Leif's hand in mine. I had the gift of Shadow Sight. I could see others while in the shadows, but Leif couldn't. That wasn't his gift. If I was not touching Leif, he couldn't see me. I was beginning to believe that I was the last of the Shadow Walkers with this gift.

  I had other gifts as well. I was an Energy Reader. I could read the energy of a person, see their aura, but only if I was in the shadows. I could also manipulate energy and use it as a weapon. That was the gift I feared. That was the gift I couldn't control.

  Leif stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my body. I turned inside his embrace. He glowed with his blue outline. It was a nice clear blue. This told me he was calm. No worries.

  "Okay, what we are going to do is simply pull up the shadows again. Picture a big bubble. If you push through one side you would be inside the bubble, right?"

  I nodded my head.

  "But, if you pushed through it again you would be on the other side. We are going to the other side of the bubble, the other side of the shadows. You picture where you want to end up in your head and then when you push through, you should be there. I am going to do the destination part. You don't know where we're going, we could end up anywhere in the Kingdom doing that."

  Leif leaned over my shoulder and looked at my face. "Are you ready?"

  I was a bit nervous, but otherwise, I was ready. "Yeah, I'm set."

  "This is going to feel a bit strange," he said, still looking at me.

  "Strange, how?" I asked. Strange weird would be okay, but strange pain, would not.

  Leif shrugged his shoulders and said, "Just strange."

  Then before I could get a better answer out of him, he said, "Here we go. One, two, pull."

  I did as Leif instructed. I pulled the shadows up and over me again and suddenly, without warning, I was jerked painfully backward. The world was suddenly dark and grey. Everything was spinning out of control. It was spinning around and around and over and over, and my head clouded and fogged. I felt like I was tumbling and falling, and then we stopped, just as instantaneous as we had begun.

  The ground was now solid again beneath my feet. I wobbled once, twice then I dropped to my knees and threw up the entire contents of my stomach. I felt Leif pull back my hair for me and thought absently, that's nice.

  My head still spun, even after my stomach finally stopped heaving. I sat back on my feet, my head hung down. A bottle of water was thrust under my nose. I took it and washed out my mouth as I tried to regain my senses. The first real thought that came to my head was, "
That felt more than a little strange."

  I looked up at Leif then to see him smiling. I didn't see anything funny about it.

  He gave me a one-shouldered shrug and said, "Would you have rather I told you that it was a dizzying ride that would cause you to lose your breakfast?"

  I got to my feet, still a bit unsteady, but I stood firm when I looked him full in the face, and said, "I would have rather been prepared. You can't hide stuff like that from me, Leif. I need to know what's going to happen. You should have warned me."

  "Would it really have made any difference? Really?"

  He didn't understand. I think he thought he was protecting me by keeping me in the dark. Yes, I probably would have still hurled, but I would have been ready. I maybe wouldn't have eaten two bagels that morning. I don't know, as it didn't matter at that point. He hadn't said a thing.

  "Yes. It would have made a difference. To me," I replied.

  Leif took my hand and tugged me forward. "Okay, I hear you. Come on, let's get going."

  He heard me, but was he listening? I decided to let it drop.

  I finally looked around me. My first look at Acadia was just like where we had left. We were still in the woods. Tall green-leafed trees surrounded me. The sun came down in splotches through the branches. "Where are we going?"

  "Gavin and Leigha are supposed to meet us outside the woods," he replied. He walked in front of me, my hand held tightly in his as he led the way. We didn't have too far to go; I could see the woods already clearing.

  We came out of the trees, and I was shocked to see absolutely nothing but a wild field of browned grass in front of me, around me, and everywhere. What the heck? There were no roads or buildings as far as I could see. Only empty land lay before us. I looked questioningly at Leif. He gave me a grin.

  A rustle of noise over to the side drew my attention. Oh, Lord, it just got worse and worse. Leigha and Gavin lounged in the shade, which was fine. What wasn't fine, was that with them were four horses. Yes, you heard me right, horses, for heaven's sake.

  Leigha and Gavin were exactly as I remembered them. I hadn't seen them in four months, but they looked the same. Leigha had her long curly red hair up in a pony tail, her green eyes shone brightly in the sunshine, and she was poured into a pair of what looked like cocoa brown suede pants, with a matching halter-top that tied in the back. Sometimes it was really hard to like her. She was just too pretty, and too hot. I self-consciously tugged down my yellow tank top over the top of my shorts, and tied my zip up sweatshirt around my waist.