Shadow Dancer Boxed Set

by Courtney Rene

  After a bit of rustling around within the tent, Kat came back out. She held a squalling bundle of blankets within her arms. Her face was still empty, her eyes gone and death like. It was the same expression that had been on her face when I had first come upon her. I didn't know what to do, or how to help her. But it was clear she needed it.

  "Where is your dad, Kat?" I asked.

  She shrugged.

  I leaned in to get a look at the baby. It was pretty, which thick puffy cheeks and long eyelashes that were lowered over drowsy dark blue eyes. "What did you name it?"

  Kat looked down into her arms at the child and said in a monotone voice, "Carrie Ann."

  "That's very pretty," I said. I didn't know what else to say.

  "Glory Ann named her before she died. It was the last thing she did before closing her eyes forever and leaving me all alone with this baby."

  I squatted down again in front of her and tried to catch her eyes, but they were lowered to stare at the baby. I tried anyway to reach her. "You aren't alone. I'm right here. The guys are here. There are so many people who are with you and care about you."

  She shook her head at me before I had even finished speaking. "You're gone. All the time. And now that you have this quest, you'll be gone even more. You and your stupid quest can't help me."

  That was her feeling sorry for herself. I needed to get her mad. Anything was better than the emptiness she was soaking in. I stood up and brushed off my hands. "You're right. I don't have time for you and some baby," I said. "It's not my problem. Plus now that you have the baby, I won't have to deal with you either. Works out for me in the long run, don't you think?" I didn't mean it, but I had to try to find a way to reach her.

  Her head snapped up and her eyes drilled into me. It took all I had not to smile and laugh at her. She was so easy to manipulate and she didn't even know it.

  "Problem?" She all but spat the word.

  I nodded once, decisively. "Yeah, problem. That's the perfect word."

  So very gently and almost tenderly, I was happy to note, Kat set the baby down under the shade of a brown pine tree. The pile of fallen pine needles, although unintended, made a soft nest for the baby. Kat stood up, her hands fisted at her sides. Red poured into her cheeks. Her eyes were bright blue, bright with the coming rage.

  I almost rubbed my hands with glee to see emotion on her face, to see expression and life, although a bit scary with the oncoming storm in her eyes. She was beautiful.

  She stepped toward me, but I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I took two steps in her direction, wrapped my arms around her to hold off any possible fight she may have intended, and then I pressed my mouth against hers and gave just as much back as I took. She didn't fight me long; actually, it was less than a second before she opened to me. I thrust my tongue into her mouth. She didn't balk at the invasion. In fact, she rubbed her own against mine in a sensual dance. It was part need and part innocent desire. I released her only when I had to come up for air.

  "Do you really think I don't care at all about you?" I asked.

  She slowly shook her head and said, "No. I just feel so alone right now. Then with you gone, I felt even more lost."

  "I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere just yet. We'll figure this out. I'm here for you, always." I meant what I said and I believed it as much as I needed her to believe me.

  She looked at me with new tears heavy on her eyelashes.

  "What is it?" I asked her. I was thinking what more could there be?

  "I didn't find what you were looking for. I…I let you down. You only asked me to do one thing and I didn't. I didn't even try or start."

  I chuckled and told her, "It doesn't matter. You had a lot of things going on here. You can't help it or change it when life takes control. You just have to go with the flow and try to hang on. I know that more than anyone."

  A smile, finally, a smile crested over her face. "You aren't mad? Honest?"

  "No, I'm not mad," I said. "A bit disappointed, though, as we needed the pictures of the King and Queen, but there is still time to get them. We hadn't found anyone that even fit the idea of the lost child. Whoever they were would only be about twelve or thirteen years old. The lost shadow walkers we'd found were all older or younger than that."

  "I'll work on it as soon as I can. I just have to figure out what to do with Carrie Ann," Kat said. She and I both looked over to where the baby lay peacefully on the ground.

  "Yeah, we need to figure that out. Especially if you plan on coming with us one of these days. I know we could use your help." Part of that was just to make her feel better. We didn't need her, not really, but I did want her. I liked having her around. I know she was a bit of a crybaby, and a girl, but that is what drew me to her sometimes. Her round hips and lush mouth weren't bad draws either. Besides all that physical stuff, she had a way with tracking. She felt things sometimes before me. Since I was one of the best, that was saying something. Not that I would ever tell her that. So, no, I didn't need her, but I could definitely use her.

  When she looked up at me with such devotion and trust, I didn't feel a bit of remorse for those thoughts. I still liked her and wanted her. What was so wrong with that?

  Chapter Eighteen

  One Day Ago

  The day of Sunny's wedding dawned bright and perfect. Even the cosmos were in her favor. Not that I expected anything else in Acadia. It was always sunny and grand there. It was just a spiteful wish on my part that for once, something would go wrong for her.

  I wanted her to be happy, but for a long time I'd wanted her to be happy with me. It was hard to see her happy with someone else. I knew Lucas was a good guy; great guy if I believed everything I heard about the saint. It didn't mean it didn't hurt a little to see how awesome he was with my own eyes. It only brought to light what a shit I was. Not a great sight to have to deal with.

  Thinking of what a jerk I was brought back the memory of the day before with Cinder. How did I always end up ruining things? That kiss haunted me most of the night. I could still feel her feminine form pressed against me. It was like a ghostly haunting. My body remembered and craved it. It made for a long, hot night on my part. It also made for a grumpy start to the day.

  I doubted she was as affected as I was. That was part of the haunting. The look on her face afterward. That look of…I don't even know. She and I had felt right together. Her body and mine matched. Why didn't she feel it? Was I really that much of an outcast that just kissing me filled her with shame, abhorrence?

  I growled to no one but myself in my blue, borrowed room. I was no longer just grumpy. I was getting annoyed, as well.

  I glanced at the time. Cinder should arrive with Sunny's parents any time now. I decided to grab a bite to eat, then set up bodyguard duty. How hard could it be to keep an eye on Sunny for one day? I pilfered a bagel and went in search of the queen.

  After a few wrong turns and a few confused unknowing expressions, I realized my task might be harder than I thought. No one knew where she was. I saw Austin on the front grassy area. He was another one of my lost friends, thanks to the war. There were more than I cared to admit.

  I hesitated only a moment, then manned up. I cleared my face of emotion, stood as tall and firm as I could, and walked up to Austin. "Hey, you see Sunny this morning?"

  Austin regarded me silently. I watched him take in my form, from my feet up to my head. "Your hair's shorter, and you look half starved."

  "Thanks," I said. Then, "So, have you seen Sunny?"

  "Nope."

  "Do you have any idea where she might be?"

  "Why do you want to know?" Austin asked.

  "Just want to talk to her," I replied as calmly as I could. He was starting to get on my already frayed nerves.

  "She doesn't need you to talk to her this morning," he said.

  That took me aback. "Why not?" I snapped in reply.

  "Because this is her day. She doesn't need to be worrying about you. She also doesn't need
for you to come around and upset her today. You're here, fine. Let's just leave it at that."

  All right, I was officially ticked off. "I'm not here to upset her. It may come as a shock to you," I said, "but I am actually very happy for Sunny." It came as a bit of a shock to me as well, but I was genuinely pulling for her. Surprising as that was, I wanted her to be happy. Yes, I still carried a bit of jealousy over her not being with me. I'd found her, after all, but I did want her to be happy.

  "I don't care anymore what you are, Leif. As far as I'm concerned, you aren't anything, but a nuisance. I'll be happy when you leave again and disappear. You're good at that."

  "Still as big an ass as always, huh Austin?" I said. Then without waiting for a reply, I continued with my search. Since Gavin had said that Sunny's personal guard was aware of the threat, I wasn't too concerned. Yet.

  Austin glared at me. Sized me up. It was a look I had given many people in my life, and one I was sure that I had taught him. It was a bit of an uncomfortable feeling on the other side. "What are you up to? Really?" he asked.

  I turned and stepped close to Austin and said in a lowered voice, "I know you are aware of the danger to Sunny." Austin didn't agree with me or otherwise, but he did remain quiet. He was listening, at least. "I think it's coming today."

  "Why?" he asked.

  I glanced around to make sure no one was listening then said, "I think they want to make it public. They want to show all of Acadia that they can do it."

  "Do you know who it is?"

  I shook my head slowly and said, "Not for sure. There was a small group of what was left of the rebels that went off on their own after the war. I'm not certain it's them, though."

  "How do you know all this?" Austin asked.

  I looked at my old friend. We had grown up together. We'd saved each other's hides more often than either of us could count. I would have trusted him with my life at one time. Maybe it was time to do that again. "The blue fairies told me."

  "Shit!" Austin snapped. "Why didn't you say so? Come on." He stepped quickly then moved into a run.

  I stayed right at his side. "Where are we going?"

  "To the creek. Sunny wanted a moment to herself," he said.

  Cold dread settled into my stomach. The creek. The place of my vision. I was right and it didn't matter that I had known. I was about to fail. Again. I was so afraid in that moment of failing, not just the mission, but of failing Sunny and Acadia. It wasn't all about proving myself worthy. Oh, I told myself that, but it was really a chance to prove to myself that I was not worthless.

  We burst into the clearing. Sunny sat up on her rock in her full bridal crap. Her face was turned up to the sun and she was smiling. I was not pleased. Oh, I was happy she was all right, but I was ticked. "What do you think you are doing?" I snapped.

  Sunny opened her eyes and smiled down at us. "What are you guys doing here?" she asked.

  I took a long deep breath to try to settle my temper. She was fine. No one was around but Austin and me. Everything was all right. I hadn't failed her yet.

  I rubbed my forehead as an ache was starting to form behind my eyes. "Austin, do you think I could have a moment?"

  The fact that I asked and not demanded said a lot. I could tell from the expression on Austin's face that he didn't know what to do. Finally he said, "Tell you what, I'll go check the area and be back in a few minutes."

  "Check the area for what?" Sunny asked. Her expression had gone from easy and happy to hard in the blink of an eye. What was that all about?

  Austin gave her his patented slow smile and cocky stance. "Just check it. Hey, I'm trying to give you two some time…alone."

  She laughed as he had expected and said, "Fine. Go do whatever it is you do."

  "Yes, ma'am." Austin turned to me and said, "Five minutes, man."

  I nodded my head and then watched as he walked away, giving me a few minutes of privacy with Sunny. What did I have to say? A lot.

  She hopped down from the tall rock and came over to where I stood. "What is it, Leif?"

  She was so pretty. Small and bright and I couldn't take my eyes away from her. I forced myself to do it, though. I looked out over the widening creek bed and the small trees that had been planted on the other side. "Did you know this used to be all forest?" I asked. Not quite what I wanted to talk about, but it was at least something.

  "Really? All this?" she asked.

  "Yeah, when I came to Acadia the first time, the forest was huge. Our camp was deep within the trees."

  "What happened to them?"

  I shrugged. "There are many theories, but no one really knows. The land just started to die. It was soon after King Malcolm died and Queen Ariana left. The trees started to turn brown. The animals didn't reproduce like they once had. The creek waters began to shrink. Once the forest started to fall on top of us, I came up with the idea of clearing it out completely. It's how we built the stable and the corral area. It's how we were able to build the bathrooms. We cleared out all the dead wood and used it to set up the stationary buildings."

  "I remember that bathroom. Yeesh. That seems like so long ago, but it wasn't, was it?"

  I shook my head. "No. It wasn't." We were quiet a moment, then I said, "I like what you are doing with the land. The new plantings, the trees, and the flowers, it's good."

  "Thank you, Leif. That means a lot coming from you. I'm really trying here. This is our home. It deserves to be wonderful. I hope all the work isn't for nothing."

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  "Well if it all died out before, what's to stop it from doing it again?" she said.

  That was a good question, and one I didn't have an answer for. I shrugged and said, "I don't know. I guess all you can do is try, right?"

  She smiled. Man that smile still hit me in my heart. Every time.

  "Look, I have to tell you something," I said.

  "Okay," she replied and turned to face me.

  "The others, they don't want you to know this, but I think you should. There has been a threat against you. We think someone is out to kill you, to set the land into chaos again." She started to speak, but I quickly went on. "I should have told you yesterday. I'm sorry. They should have told you a while ago, when they first became aware of it. We didn't, but I'm telling you now, because I think you need to be aware. So you can be prepared. Sunny, I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Not again."

  She was silent for a moment, and stared at me. Then she giggled. Just once. Then she chuckled and laughed outright. I was quite taken aback. Especially when she wrapped her arms around her middle, bent over and laughed so hard tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. What the hell?

  "What is so funny?" I demanded.

  "You," she said and made an effort to rein in her hilarity. "You and the others that think I don't know what's going on in my own kingdom."

  Huh?

  "Oh, I'm very aware of the danger to me right now. The fact that you all think I'm oblivious is hysterical, though. Geez."

  "You knew? All along you knew? But…but you came out here alone today? If you knew, why the hell would you do that? Why would you put yourself in danger? Why?" I was screaming at her by that point.

  "Because," she said. "I'm not about to be a prisoner in my own home or my own kingdom. I will not be afraid again of something out there that I can't see. I will no longer be that small person who relies on everyone else to save her."

  "That's not the point!" I snapped.

  "That is exactly the point," she replied. "I am in control of my own destiny. Not you. Not the guard. No one."

  "Sunny," I said completely exasperated.

  "No, Leif. I am not a prisoner here. I am in control of my own life and my own destiny," she said.

  "You don't seem to understand how important you are to this world. Without you, we are right back where we were two years ago. I don't want to see anything happen to you and I don't want to see Acadia fall again."

  Sunny chuckl
ed. "I don't plan on going anywhere."

  "Well, you may not have a choice, especially if you refuse to take precautions. You're being selfish."

  "I am not!"

  "Yes, you are. Acadia is your responsibility. It's not all about you and what you want anymore. Why is it so bad to have people care about you? Why can't you let people keep you safe? Do you have to be so strong and independent all the damn time?"

  The expression on her face changed from humor at the situation to something more internal. She finally said, "You're right."

  Surprise did not quite express how I felt. "I am?"

  "I've been so concerned about not letting my life change, that I haven't been as careful as I should. Sometimes, though, I need to be alone. I need to be able to think and just enjoy a bit of me. I can't always do that with a guard standing over me or huffing and sighing in boredom and wondering why I like to come here and stay for so long."

  "I know you, Sunny. Maybe better than a lot of others here. You are very self-sufficient; that's a great thing, but you have to let other people do their jobs, too, especially when you know there is danger out there coming for you. You can't do that."

  She reached around me and hugged me close and tight for a quick moment. When she let go and stepped back, she said, "I've missed you, Leif. Why did you go away and stay away for so long?"

  "I missed you, too," I said, then shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't think you would want to see me, not after that day, not after what I did."

  She took hold of my hand and said, "I know you pretty well, too. Even with all the crazy goings on that day, I knew it was an accident. I did. I saw the horror in your face, the instant fear. I wasn't mad at you for what happened. I was mad at you for leaving, for running. I was worried."

  "Is that why you had the little fire girl stalk after me?" I said and allowed a smile to show on my face.