The Secrets We Keep

by Melinda Owens

  His balls drew up tight to his body and he knew if he didn’t stop this, she’d have him spurting down her throat faster than a seventeen-year-old.

  He pumped up once, deep into the back of her throat, and then flipped them. Crawling down her body, he planted his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent deep into his lungs before pushing inside her.

  She felt amazing. Even better than the first time. Now, he could feel her tits against his chest, her legs wrapped around his waist, and her heels urging him forward. Deeper.

  He tried to restrain himself, but she felt too good. The feel of her had a white-hot heat ricocheting through his body, and his movements weren’t his own.

  The bed rocked, hitting the wall with each thrust, but he couldn’t stop it. Her legs clutched his in the moment, and it struck him that he’d forgotten everything for a moment.

  She’d given him that. He kept his head buried in the skin of her neck and continued to forget. Forget the vengeance, the death, the sorrow, the broken heart that had him sinking into the depths of life.

  His angry fuck had morphed into a lovemaking of sorts. The kind he’d imagined during their first kiss. Years ago.

  That’s why he wasn’t kissing her now.

  That kiss had been a hello. This was a goodbye. After he was finished, he would have to leave, go to his place in the Hill Country and hide. He wasn’t going to ask her to go with him, either, because she had made a life here. She had moved on and made something of herself.

  He was nothing without his revenge, and as soon as it was over, he was gone.

  He gripped her wrists in his hands and listened to her moans as he continued to move above her, their bodies syncing. With each thrust, he heard her voice change, he felt her tighten around him, her skin slick with sweat.

  She finally came, her core tightening around him like a vise, clenching and milking him. He held himself there, deep inside her, until she was finished, and then he emptied himself before collapsing next to her, tugging her into an embrace.

  Yeah. This was definitely goodbye. He would spend maybe another week with her before he was finished. A week where this could not happen again. It was fucking with his head, making him think about shit he couldn’t have, and neither could she.

  Because after this was over, he would leave her.

  A knock at the door had him jackknifing out of bed. It startled him, in the darkness of Dusty’s room, where she had blackout curtains like any normal person who worked at a bar until closing, and then killed people until the sun came up.

  He shook himself awake, dragged on a pair of pants, and answered the door to Lilith, here for her morning shift.

  And he was rumpled, clearly sleeping, and the sofa hadn’t been mussed at all.

  “Rough night?” she asked with one raised eyebrow.

  “Uh.” Understatement. “Not really,” he managed, raking his hand through his hair. He opened the door to let her in, and she sauntered into the space. Lilith was tall, almost as tall as him.

  “So you slept with her? Have fun?”

  It was too early to be answering questions about his personal life tactfully, so he refrained from answering at all. Instead, he went to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

  “I got this. Go shower or whatever.” She bumped him with her hip to move him out of the way and he obliged.

  In the shower, the guilt set in. Last night shouldn’t have happened. It was a slap in the face of Sunny’s memory. Oh God. Last night was a mistake, wasn’t it? It was a reaction to the killing, nothing more, and the adrenaline should have been taken care of another way.

  Jesus.

  Besides, Dusty hadn’t been planning this shit for ten years like he had. He had totally and completely taken advantage of her by sleeping with her. After the quickest shower ever, he dressed himself and went for a cup of coffee, his vest undone and tie untied around his neck.

  She wasn’t ready to be a part of this, and he’d dragged her into his mess like he had any business doing so.

  He felt something shift inside him, much like lava pouring down the side of a volcano, cooling into rock. He cared now, what Dusty thought. Somehow he’d gone from hating her to something else. Last night, he had hurt her, and he was finished wanting that now.

  Now, he wanted to be some part of her healing, and it was stupid because he couldn’t do that. Not only was it not possible for him, he wasn’t a therapist, but it wasn’t anything he’d ever wanted to do. For anyone.

  Fuck.

  Lilith was staring at him like the cat who ate the canary, and he just wanted to get out of there, but he had to do a verbal report.

  “Okay, so she worked, decided to leave early, and came home. Watched some TV.” He saw the trash bag full of dirty clothes on the floor of the kitchen, almost mocking him, a testament to the lies he told. He swallowed, hoping Lilith wouldn’t get nosy.

  “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” He felt a rare blush rise to his cheeks. If she hadn’t tried to fire him, Liam certainly would after finding out he’d fucked Dusty.

  “Does that part have to go into the report?”

  “God, please no. I got it. Go do your thing. Liam wants you to check in at Serpent before you go home for the day.”

  “Is his wife okay after yesterday?”

  “Yeah. She is, but there’s been a development in this case, and he wants to talk to you about it.”

  “Okay. See you tomorrow.” Hopefully. If the security firm was good enough to figure out he’d been on a killing spree and taken their client along for the ride, he was out of a job and in jail by lunchtime.

  At Serpent Executive Protection Specialists, Liam waited for him in Theo’s office, a meager room he hadn’t put any personal effects in, because he hadn’t been here much. Holder was sitting in a love seat shoved in the corner across from the desk, his feet stretched out in front of him.

  “How is your wife?” Start with the pleasantries. Theo could be a decent human when he wanted to. He understood how people worked. He even had friends, of a sort. His Army buddies, Jeremy and Shadow, fished with him some weekends, and they even performed hero duties when they got the chance. But as far as day-to-day bullshitting, they didn’t do much, except when some big game was on that Jeremy wanted to watch, and since Jeremy lived with him, that’s what Theo did. He knew how to wear the mask.

  “She’s fine,” Liam answered with a sigh. “Back at home now.” The shadows under his eyes told Theo the guy hadn’t slept much last night.

  “That’s great. I’m sorry to hear about the—”

  “Thanks. If a kid happens, it happens. If not, I’m still with the woman I love,” Liam stated simply, and Theo nodded gravely, not having a clue how long the couple had been trying to get pregnant or if they even were trying. It could have been a fluke. Whatever. That was brain space he didn’t have right now. “I wanted to let you know Mark Daimler is missing now too. His wife called the precinct this morning. Said they’d had a fight, and he’d left. But his girlfriend, co-worker, whatever called her this morning, telling her he didn’t open the store. My wife’s partner got the call, since Daimler is a known associate in his book. They could be together. Or they could be dead.”

  Liam’s face was unreadable. Paranoia rose inside Theo and he saw a knowing glint in Holder’s eyes, one that said, I know what you did. I’m onto you. But that could have been Theo’s imagination. He didn’t sleep much last night either.

  Either way, he needed to get rid of the bodies. It was a little ahead of schedule, but no sense in leaving them out in the open while Liam was suspicious. Or anybody else, for that matter.

  “I’m gonna have Lilith do a little digging around after she finishes her shift. See if she can find anybody who’s seen them around the city.” Theo nodded, unsure what the appropriate answer was. “I’m afraid I made a mistake assigning you to this case.”

  As if on cue, Po knocked on the doorframe, announcing his presence and plopped himself
down on the love seat next to Liam. Theo wished the office had actual chairs in it. The love seat thing lent an intimacy to the situation that he wasn’t comfortable with.

  Po gave a knowing smirk. “I have your life’s history here. And Liam is right. You probably shouldn’t be working this case. But you are. And Liam doesn’t like to admit mistakes, right?” He looked at Liam, whose mouth turned down. “Anyway, you and Sunny O’Malley were married a month after you met at a coffee shop where she made coffees. Two months after you met, she was brutally killed in a gang war masked as a home invasion. She had been complaining about the landlord raising the rent in your apartment building for the third time in a year. She was making noise about taking it to the city council, the good little wifey, which would have been bad news for the Made Man who owned the landlord. He was an up-and-coming guy in the underground and hadn’t yet bought off the council members that counted.”

  Theo shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This was all stuff he’d dealt with years ago. It didn’t have any bearing on things now. But since he’d never heard Po speak such a long string of words, he let the man continue. Besides, his irreverent tone was pissing him off, and Theo knew he was on a tenuous tightrope right now, juggling too many things.

  “But he had bought off the prosecuting attorney and judge who tried the case and the guys walked. There isn’t any evidence of you actually meeting our client during the whirlwind romance, but that sort of thing doesn’t always leave a digital trail. However, Sunny and Dusty’s parents couldn’t have had a great opinion of the man who married their daughter and moved her into a building where she was killed for being a social justice warrior.” Tears prickled the backs of Theo’s eyes and he looked at the ceiling, willing gravity to pull them back into his head. “Shortly after the funeral, you joined the Army and served six years honorably, using your allotted internet time quietly, no personal phone calls except to your sister and your mother, your only living relatives, who never got a chance to meet your wife and consequently were confused as to why you aborted a promising career as an accountant for active duty. You came home and immediately purchased a small farmhouse on some property about two hours away from here and started a job at bouncers-for-hire where you primarily worked concert security and stayed under the radar. You have the occasional get-together with your Army pals, one of which is your roommate, Jeremy, also your reference to get this job. No credit cards, no internet purchases, nothing.”

  It was a background check on him.

  He leaned back in his seat, arms crossed, waiting for someone to say something.

  Theo was pleased his activities hadn’t come across in the guy’s research, although his research seemed thorough enough they should have. Po watched him carefully, not taking his eyes off Theo, and it was making him a bit uncomfortable.

  Holder’s phone rang and he excused himself to take the call, leaving Theo and Po alone.

  “You’ve been a nice distraction from my own personal research. Your life is…depressing, actually. I’m sorry about all the shit you’ve been through.” He held his hands up. “Not pity. I don’t pity people. It’s a sort of empathy, and that’s intriguing to me. I don’t get it very often.”

  “Glad I can be entertainment for you,” Theo answered drolly, tamping down his emotions. Liam was right about one thing. He was too fucking close in this case, and he wished Liam hadn’t assigned him to it either.

  Po’s voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned forward. The body language said it all. He knows. “In all seriousness though, I sort of have an idea what you’ve been doing, and I hope you have a good plan for finishing it. These guys we work with are cool, but not that cool.” He leaned back and studied his fingernails, waiting for Holder to return.

  What the fuck did that mean?

  Liam re-entered the room before Theo could question Po, and he announced that he was going to finish up some paperwork. Liam was intimidating on a good day. As the boss, he took his job seriously. He had a crucible style obstacle course on his property in the hills north of the city that he’d made his roommate run over and over until he was satisfied with his time. Theo hadn’t done it yet.

  Bring it. Theo wouldn’t be here that long anyway. In the meantime, he had some bodies to dispose of. Po’s words were rubbing him in all the wrong ways.

  Theo stood and wiped his palms down his pants. “We done here? I’ve got an errand to run,” he said before leaving without letting them answer.

  Okay then. He needed to get rid of the bodies.

  Theo had gotten the drums of human remains from the warehouse before Liam, Po, and Lilith could start sniffing around. They suspected foul play and it was only a matter of time before they started looking at the warehouse. Po was onto him and didn’t seem to care about what he knew, which said a lot about the man who was undoing a shit ton of body modifications.

  What sort of man had Po used to be?

  At any rate, he wasn’t stupid, and while Theo had been thinking of waiting to dispose of the bodies after it was all over, he knew he had to get these particular drums gone before someone from SEPS found them. He wasn’t worried about the overworked police department.

  So he’d loaded them into the bed of his truck and driven out of town with them, two hours west, to his place in the middle of nowhere.

  Where he burned the contents.

  Human remains took a while to burn. He’d have to come back and burn them again, to get rid of everything. It wasn’t ideal. Lime worked better. Acid worked better for breaking down human bone. Hell, almost anything worked better, but for now, he would get started and hope for the best. Nobody would think to look here, except maybe V, but he’d gotten the impression, his secret was safe with him. Although, there was no telling how quickly it would take the rest to catch on.

  He watched the two barrels with flames creeping out of the top, as he continued to squirt lighter fluid into the tops when the flames got low. He didn’t have a lot of time.

  Meanwhile, his thoughts continued to turn to fucking Dusty.

  Dusty woke up in a tangle of sheets, sore all over. She stretched her muscles, determined to be able to move without showing what exactly had happened last night to everyone who saw her today.

  What exactly had happened?

  Sure. Sex had happened. But there was subtext to it. The first time had absolutely been hate-sex with Theo. His intentions were clear and obvious. He hated her and was fucking her out of his system, and it had been the best sex of her life, honestly. Wild and dirty and everything she expected from a man like Theo. But that second time?

  That’s what confused her. He had been with her. But he hadn’t been with her. Had he been fucking Sunny the second time?

  Now that was a depressing thought.

  Because the second time was almost better than the first.

  Gah.

  She rolled out of bed, preparing herself to come face-to-face with Lilith, her daytime babysitter. Lilith was intimidating to say the least.

  Instead of going for her normal cup of coffee, she sidled into the bathroom for a shower first, then went into the kitchen, ignoring the pointed glances from the woman who was drinking all her coffee.

  At the bar, Lilith was following her to the entrance when she smelled it. Clove cigarettes. Looking around, Dusty noticed three butts smashed on the ground outside her establishment.

  Guy Falco had been here. Staking her out? Waiting? She hurriedly unlocked the door and went inside, holding it for Lilith before locking it behind them.

  “Why are you locking it?” Lilith asked, suddenly tense. “Your customers don’t come inside until the open sign’s lit.”

  “Falco has been here. His cigarettes are on the ground outside.” They all knew he smoked cloves. That had come up in conversation about her attack, Serpent protection’s relentless pursuit of details.

  Lilith pulled out her phone and dialed, speaking in hushed murmurs, probably to one of her co-workers, while Dusty cleaned up and opened for the e
vening. Soon enough, Liam arrived for his shift and Lilith left. It was business as usual, but Dusty couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.

  She buzzed with a restless energy while she worked under Liam’s watchful eye. She absentmindedly poured drinks and slung beers to regulars with one eye peeled for Theo to take over his shift. Stupidly, she still felt safer with him around than the others.

  Even Aaron wasn’t doing it for her, and he was her usual safety net in this place.

  The bar gave her a cover so she didn’t have to make friends. For some reason this made sense to her. If she had been living her life, happily making friends after her sister’s murder, she’d be an awful person. The friends she’d had before were gone, out of her life after her family died. They’d tried to stick around and be supportive, but Dusty had pushed them all away in her lighthearted, happy-go-lucky way.

  No hard feelings, she just couldn’t keep them. And she hadn’t made new ones. Sure, people liked her, but she didn’t call anybody friend. She had a ton of acquaintances as a business owner in the city. But as far as people she trusted and had fun with on her rare downtime, there was nobody.

  Theo showed up late, much to Liam’s clear irritation. He had dark shadows under his eyes, indicating he hadn’t gotten a nap in after their extracurricular activities last night. They probably matched her own.

  He didn’t speak, smile, or acknowledge anybody. Theo only sat at the corner of the bar, nursing his beer until it got hot, and she silently poured it out and got him another. He didn’t want to talk. So she didn’t force him.

  The night dragged on. It was slow for a Tuesday, so that was probably it. But something about Theo’s hunched shoulders told her they’d made a mistake last night. A delicious, filthy mistake.

  He actually helped her lock up, silently stacking chairs on the few tables she had while she swept the floors under them. Tomorrow, she’d mop before she opened so the place smelled clean. A grand total of two people had walked across the bar with drinks in hand, so the likelihood of spilled drops was minimal.