Robbie Taggart

by Michael Phillips

  How he longed for the peace Robbie had described to him, that inexplicable joy he so clearly saw emanating from Robbie himself! But because his rejection of the good news of God’s constant presence with man had been, so many years ago, a form of self-punishment, he could not now allow himself to believe that he deserved what Robbie had. God might be merciful to forgive him all his drinking, and his selfishness, his blasphemies, and all his cowardice, but the Vicar was not in a position to receive it, for he could not forgive himself. So as he walked away, not doubting the truth of the gift of God Robbie offered, but yet choosing to reject it, he quoted Lord Byron as he had on the first day they met aboard the Sea Tiger.

  “‘Such partings break the heart they fondly hope to heal,’” he said. “Goodbye, dear friend.”

  “I didn’t give up on you before, Elliot,” answered Robbie, “and I won’t now. I will pray for you vigilantly! We will meet again, and I believe it will be as brothers in Christ.”

  The Vicar sighed, then walked out into the drizzly night. The fog had reached the shore and had settled over the city. He was on his way to meet his ship, bound for Venezuela. As he made his way along the street, something inside compelled him to turn back, to give Robbie’s new way of life a try. But he could not do it. He doubted that he would ever see Robbie Taggart again, but he’d never be able to forget him, nor the words he had spoken to him this day. Yet to embrace them—that was just too frightening a step to take.

  Robbie watched him go, and soon his friend was swallowed up in the mists. A lingering sadness hung over him. Yet he could not feel despair for his friend. Robbie knew God was jealous for the lost soul of the Vicar, loved him more than he could himself, and would spare no effort to reveal to him the life of blessing and fulfillment awaiting him.

  The day had been a long one for Ruth, who dozed against her father’s chest as he had poured out his heart to the Vicar. Now he took her back to the hotel, ordered dinner for her and Shan-fei, then returned to The Golden Doubloon where he devoted the remainder of the evening to Sadie. She marveled at all Robbie had to tell her, and was even inspired to attend the little church in her neighborhood that Sunday.

  It was late when he again walked up the hill toward Union Street. Shan-fei was asleep in the adjoining room, and Ruth slept contentedly on the couch in his. Robbie walked over and gazed at her peaceful face, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder and murmuring a brief prayer of thanksgiving for this greatest of all blessings.

  He had certainly tired her out today, he thought! New sights, new places, new people. Well, she would be able to sleep all the next day on the train that would carry them to Aviemere.

  69

  Homecoming

  While the coach was yet a half mile from Aviemere, Robbie began to sense that he wanted to be on his own for this most special reunion. He asked the driver of the hired coach to stop, then got out.

  “Wait here,” he told the man. “Give me ten minutes. It’s beyond that grove of trees, about three more furlongs.”

  Taking only his cane, Robbie struck out on foot along the long drive lined with birch trees on either side.

  The last time he had been this way, Robbie had come to claim the woman he loved. He had departed not with a bride, but with the assurance that he possessed the dearest friend he would ever have. Even as he had walked out of the massive doors with the intimidating words Aut pax aut bellum engraved over the lintel, not knowing whether he would ever again return, he knew that Jamie—even as Edward Graystone’s wife—would continue to influence his life. As she indeed had. The seeds of faith planted by her in his heart had borne fruit manyfold. Of the three persons God had used to awaken his spirit—including Hsi-chen and Wallace—she was the only one remaining on earth for him to share the depths of his being with. She could never replace Hsi-chen, nor could she replace Wallace. But now at last with Jamie he would be able to share his new nature—the awakening for which she had so diligently prayed.

  Despite the joyful, sometimes gregarious, and sometimes poignant reunions he had thus far experienced with people over the years, Robbie sensed more than ever that this was his true homecoming. The estate of Aviemere itself meant little to him; he had only spent two or three days here. But as long as Jamie and Edward were here, he knew it would be a home to him, a haven, and everything dear. He knew their hearts were open wide to him, and now at last his was able to open to them in like fashion.

  Slowly he made his way in solitude along the wide dirt road. His leg was much better by now. In another two or three months the effects of the bullet wound would be completely forgotten. But there still remained pain when he put all his weight on the leg, which the cane helped to alleviate.

  He passed the last bend in the road and saw the imposing gray mansion in the distance. Time had changed nothing. He might still be the rash young man in his twenties, for all the external appearance of the estate about him, rather than the injured, limping, returning sailor of forty.

  Yes, he had changed, despite the unchangeableness of the Scottish landscape. What will Jamie think? he wondered. Would she be repulsed by his cane, by the stump on his left arm, by the gradual graying of his hair? Would she react to him as little Ruth had to wretched old Pike when she had first seen him that day in the mission compound?

  What kind of a man was he now, for all that he had been through, for all that he had experienced, for all that the Lord had worked in him?

  Though Robbie asked the question, inside he knew the answer well enough. He had left Aviemere, and Scotland, as one who thought he held the world by the tail, as one who thought he possessed the might to carve out his own destiny, as one in search of adventure, fulfilled dreams, and romantic illusions.

  But instead, through the years that had passed, he had discovered something he had never expected—the true meaning of life, the true significance of what it means to live life as a man.

  He had entered into the greatest adventure of all—a life lived in tune with the Creator’s design.

  So many men, mused Robbie sadly, seek to fulfill themselves in all the wrong places. Oh, Lord, thank you! Robbie thought. Thank you for opening my eyes. For all that I was striving to do and to be, I never realized what I was missing at the core of life. Thank you for making me the man you wanted me to be!

  But there was no more time for Robbie’s reflections, and his prayers of thanks had to be suspended temporarily. For the crunch of the carriage wheels was rapidly approaching behind him, and the door of the house was swinging open in front of him.

  ———

  Jamie Graystone reread the telegram.

  Robbie was in Aberdeen! He would arrive at Aviemere this very day!

  When she had received his first telegram from London two weeks ago with apologies that he could not have informed her of his plans sooner, she had been overwhelmed with delight. He could have turned up on her doorstep with no warning at all, and she would have welcomed him no less. But her excitement with his anticipated visit went deeper than simply the joy of seeing an old friend.

  Troubles had fallen upon Aviemere in recent days. It reminded Jamie of the time she had first arrived at the estate as an untried nurse to young Andrew. It almost seemed as though the strife that had so long been associated with the Graystone family was too deeply ingrained ever to be erased. When they had returned to the estate six years ago, she and Edward had been full of hopeful expectations. Yet now things were so different.

  Somehow the news from Robbie came as if in answer to a prayer she had not yet spoken. He had always been a strong force in her life; he had saved her life and set her on the road that had led her to Edward and the Lord. And now that he also shared her faith, she knew he would bring something vitally needed to her troubled spirits.

  Jamie sighed. She had not forgotten the words of her grandfather: I will lift up mine een t’ the hills, frae whence comes my help. My help comes frae the Lord, who made haiven an’ earth. But she also knew that many times in her life God had u
sed others to inspire and encourage her. She hoped perhaps, in some way none of them could yet understand, that Robbie’s entrance back into their lives after so many years was part of the Lord’s design for the future strengthening of the beleaguered Graystone family.

  All at once Jamie heard the clamor of horses, wagon wheels, and leather harnesses.

  A coach was coming down the drive! But who was that man hobbling toward the house in front of—

  Oh, Lord! she cried. God bless him . . . it’s Robbie!

  Jamie turned and flew down the stairs. Cameron had already started toward the door, but Jamie rushed past him, threw it wide, and ran out into the courtyard and into Robbie’s arms.

  “Jamie!” exclaimed Robbie, sweeping her feet off the ground and lifting her small frame in his exuberant embrace. By the time her feet again touched the ground, their eyes were wet, and glistening streams ran down their cheeks.

  “Just look at you!” said Jamie, as Robbie set her down. “You haven’t changed at all . . . and yet everything about you is changed!” She had expected the missing hand. But she had been unprepared for the limp, and the two deep scars on his handsome face. “You seem almost like the valiant soldier returning from the wars! As indeed is true—for you are God’s warrior now, aren’t you, Robbie?”

  Robbie smiled. “Oh, Jamie, how can I possibly tell you all that has happened? I can’t even think where to begin! I did tell you about my hand? Are you shocked?”

  “No, Robbie. It’s your badge of honor—for the Lord, a constant reminder of His grace.”

  “It’s been a hard lesson for me to learn. But I think He’s finally gotten through to me.”

  “I can tell! It’s in your eyes, Robbie. I can sense the presence of God in you. Oh, Robbie, it is good to see you!”

  “And you, dear friend! But where is Edward?”

  A shadow crossed Jamie’s face. “He’s been ill. He’s upstairs now and can’t come down. I’ll take you to him later. But who is this beautiful girl?” exclaimed Jamie, looking toward the coach.

  Robbie walked over, opened the door where Ruth had been peeking out, and swept his daughter out and to the ground.

  “This is my daughter, Jamie. Her name is Ruth.”

  Fresh tears rose at once to Jamie’s eyes as she beheld the lovely Chinese child. Suddenly she was aware of the changes in Robbie she had not perceived at first glance. He was a different man—matured and seasoned. He was a missionary, a father, a widower, and indeed a scarred veteran from the battles of life.

  Next he reached his hand into the coach and helped out an elderly Chinese lady, who immediately took his arm when she reached the ground, for even with her cane she had difficulty walking.

  “And now, Jamie, I would like you to meet my mother-in-law, Shan-fei Wallace, Hsi-chen’s mother.”

  “I am honored, Mrs. Wallace,” said Jamie. “Welcome to our home.”

  70

  Looking Ahead

  “How are you, Robbie?”

  “Well, Lord Graystone. Very well!” replied Robbie, giving Edward’s hand a firm shake where he lay in bed. “As you can see though,” he added laughing, “the years have taken their toll!”

  “On us all, I’m afraid!” said Edward.

  “I’m sorry to hear it’s going poorly with you. What is it?”

  “My heart, or so the doctor thinks. One never knows. I feel well enough, but Jamie worries. Women, you know.”

  Robbie laughed again. “Count your blessings, man! At least you have a wife to worry about you!”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. Jamie tells me you’ve had a bit of a rough time of it?”

  “All part of the Lord’s plan.”

  “Well, you’re welcome here, you and your family, for as long as you need. Stay a year! Once I get up and out of this confounded bed, we’ll have a ride up the mountain together. I know Jamie will love having you all. Use Aviemere to get a rest and to get your bearings for the future. We’re glad to have you.”

  “Thank you. I don’t know what to say. I’ll never be able to repay—”

  “Nonsense! If it hadn’t been for you, Jamie and I would never have met! We owe you a great deal. This is our way of repaying you!”

  ———

  Later that afternoon, after some light refreshments had been served in the parlor and Shan-fei and Ruth had retired to their rooms to settle themselves, Jamie and Robbie took a walk in the rose garden.

  “I’m so thankful you’ve opened your home to us,” said Robbie. “Things are tense in China right now. You’ve probably been reading about the missionary riots. I had to get Ruth and Shan-fei out for a while.”

  “It’s more of a blessing to us than you can imagine. We need some new blood here. Things have not been altogether—”

  “What is it, Jamie?” asked Robbie with concern, seeing that Jamie was fighting back tears, this time not of joy but of sadness.

  “It has been difficult the past couple of months,” Jamie went on at last.

  “Edward . . . his illness?”

  “Oh, yes that too, of course. But . . . well, you must have noticed that Andrew is not here.”

  “I thought he was away . . . perhaps at school. He’s about sixteen now, isn’t he?”

  “Yes,” Jamie sighed sadly. “He’s left home, Robbie—”

  All at once the tears that had been playing about her emerald eyes spilled out upon her delicate cheek.

  “He’s been gone three months now, and we have no idea where he is.”

  Robbie placed his hand on her trembling shoulder. “He seemed content enough. Why would he do such a thing?”

  “You remember the little child,” said Jamie. “As he got older, something happened, and it only seemed to worsen when we moved back here to the estate. Edward blames himself. I think this is what finally aggravated his condition.”

  At that moment Cameron the butler appeared to announce supper, and the conversation had to be postponed.

  Over the days that followed, however, there were many such conversations, and they were finally able to coax the doctor to allow Edward to join them. It proved a time of restoration and renewal for all, even Shan-fei, who found a quiet comfort in the solitude beneath Donachie, for her loneliness in losing so devoted a husband.

  Gradually the days and weeks passed. Summer slowly yielded to autumn, and with it the lovely moors and fellsides of Aviemere were transformed into a vibrant heathery purple. Robbie and Jamie and Ruth, as well as Jamie’s two younger children, Gilbert and Julia, trekked all over the rich land, occasionally accompanied by Edward and Shan-fei by carriage. When Edward was finally able, he and Robbie had a ride together, while Jamie led all the children up the heights of Donachie to her old homestead, showing them on the way the spot where a happy-go-lucky sailor lad had rescued a shepherd girl stranded in a blizzard. The afternoon was singularly thrilling for Ruth, who had spent her entire life in a low delta region. Even more significant, however, was the kinship that sprang up between her and Jamie, as if Robbie truly were Jamie’s brother, and Ruth her niece. And despite the solemn cloud that hung in the background from the uncertainty over Andrew, Robbie’s presence carried with it a spirit of exuberance and energy to counter the gloom. More than once Jamie commented that Robbie’s laughter was just what the old house had needed, and God knew just when to send it.

  Still nothing had been said about their leaving, or what the future might hold. An idyllic season of rest it truly was. Without speaking it, Edward, Jamie, and Robbie all knew that when the Lord was ready to speak further direction, they would hear Him.

  One day as winter began to make its approach felt upon the northern land, Robbie returned to the house from a solitary walk upon the moor. The heather had faded from bloom, the winds blowing down from Donachie bore a premonition of snow, and the birch trees along the drive had one by one begun to drop their yellowed leaves.

  For some days Robbie had been in fervent prayer regarding God’s direction for his immediate future.
On three or four occasions within the past month he had visited several of the parishes in the area to share about God’s work in China. He had been not only positively received, but was met with a growing response of interest in missionary work. His purpose had not specifically been to bolster recruits for the mission field, but the enthusiasm he encountered could not help but stimulate his own continuing and renewed vision for the east. A sense of expectancy began to come upon him again, as it had during his last days in China, and he knew God was preparing to speak to Him.

  When it came, the direction was as simple as had been the leading to return to Scotland. In the depths of his mind the thought first came, “The season of rest is past; it is time to return.”

  “Is that your voice speaking, Lord?” he asked.

  And the more he submitted the matter to prayer, the clearer the voice became, and the more definitely he knew that it was indeed the Lord calling him back to his daughter’s homeland. During a morning in prayer out on the moor, all was confirmed in his mind.

  He went first to Jamie and Edward. He was not sure how they would view his proposal.

  “Robbie, of course we’d be delighted for Ruth to live with us for a time! She’s a dear! But Shan-fei . . . do you think she would agree to remain behind?”

  “I don’t know,” Robbie replied. “This has all got to be extremely difficult for her. Yet I do not believe the situation is yet safe for either of them. I feel I must be there, to offer what leadership I can. Yet until this trouble is past, it would be best for me to be there alone.”

  “You will go back to Wukiang?” asked Edward.

  “Yes. But I still do not clearly know what God wants. If the work there is prospering under Ying, I may travel inland. I would like to again visit Dr. Taylor’s work, perhaps do some planting in several of the areas not yet touched by the gospel. There are so many opportunities. I will have to survey the situation, go where God leads me, and eventually, when time and circumstances permit it, work my way back to Wukiang and send for Ruth and Shan-fei.”