Silver Miracles

by Preston, Fayrene

  Bluebonnets, Indian paintbrush and clover would soon carpet the fields with riotous color. Last year, she had taken Stephanie and Tray for a picnic in the middle of a glorious field of wild flowers. She couldn’t help but wonder if she would have the energy to do it again this year.

  The phone rang, and it was Sissy. She came straight to the point. "How are you today? Are you feeling any better?"

  "I don’t think so." Trinity laughed ruefully. "In fact, I think I’m feeling worse."

  "Trinity, I think you should go to the doctor. This has been going on for a couple of weeks now."

  "I’m sure it will pass. I must have just picked up a bug."

  There was a hesitant pause. "Trinity . . . have you thought that you might be pregnant?"

  "Pregnant!" Trinity exploded. "Have you lost your mind? Of course I’m not pregnant."

  "It’s not as extraordinary a thought as you’re making it out to be," Sissy pointed out with unnerving logic. "Did you and Chase use any sort of birth control?"

  Trinity sat down in a nearby chair. "Naturally, I did. Do you think I’m crazy? Irresponsible?"

  "No, certainly not, hon. But this is exactly how you felt when you were pregnant with Stephanie."

  Trinity pressed her hand to her forehead and moaned. "I suppose it could happen. Wouldn’t you just know I’d be in the ten percent for whom that birth-control method fails?" She stopped herself. "No. It can’t be! I’m sure I’ll feel better by tomorrow."

  But she didn’t. In fact, by eleven o’clock the next morning, she was seriously considering going back to bed. Sissy had already been over, arguing unsuccessfully that, whether or not Trinity was pregnant, she needed to see a doctor.

  How could she disagree? No doubt Sissy was right, but Trinity just wasn’t ready to deal with whatever it was that the doctor would tell her. Surely she would begin to feel better soon.

  Sitting in her kitchen, she was eyeing the sink full of dirty dishes with an unusual degree of aversion when the phone rang. She padded listlessly to the phone. "Hello."

  "Trinity, this is Chase."

  Her knees buckled under her, causing her to fall into the chair next to the phone. Damn it, she didn’t need a phone call from Chase piled on top of everything else! She was feeling absolutely rotten . . . Sissy was worried about her . . . she didn’t even want to think about what Larry’s reaction would be . . . she hadn’t been able to quilt for days . . . the sink was full of dirty dishes . . .

  "Trinity! Can you hear me? Do we have a bad connection?"

  "I—I can hear you, Chase. What do you want?"

  The hauntingly familiar sound of his voice answered her from thousands of miles away. "I want you to fly here. This trip is going to take much longer than I realized, and I want you here, with me."

  Frowning, Trinity rubbed her forehead. Now would be the perfect time to tell him their affair was over. If she could convince Chase that she never wanted to see him again, it would eliminate the grief of trying to break it off while facing him. "I don’t really care what you want, Chase. It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re through."

  "Trinity . . . we’ve got to talk. I’m in London now, but tomorrow I’ll be in Geneva. I’ll make the arrangements for your flight from this end. Meet me, and we’ll get everything straightened out between us."

  "No, Chase," she contradicted firmly. "It’s over between us. No purpose would be served by my coming there."

  "Hear me out! I’ve got to explain about what happened between us the night before I left, and I can’t do it over the phone."

  Trinity shook her head—she didn’t want to hear about that final night they had been together—and then realized Chase couldn’t see her. She had to persuade him that she meant exactly what she was saying. As hard as it was to break up with Chase over the phone, it would be ten times worse trying to do it face to face.

  She forced her voice into a sarcastic drawl. "I’m positive you’ll remember, Chase, since you’ve kept bringing it up from time to time, that when we first started our affair, you agreed to certain conditions. And one of them was that I would set the time limit."

  "Trinity, please—"

  "I’m setting the time limit, Chase. It’s over. To quote you, what we had, if anything, is gone. There’s no need to drag it out. Good-bye, Chase."

  Trinity didn’t move for a long time after she hung up the receiver. She just sat by the phone, thinking. She was sure that, if she sat there long enough, she would find some sort of poetic justice in the fact that she had been able to repeat to Chase what he had so long ago snarled to the unhappy Melissa.

  However, it wasn’t really important. The way Trinity felt now, nothing would ever be important again. She felt numb and she hoped she stayed that way for a long, long time. Absolutely sure that she had left no doubt in Chase’s mind that their relationship was over, Trinity felt strangely lifeless.

  She had called it an affair. It had been a love affair only on her part. But no more. Her love for Chase was quite dead. It had died the night before he had left for Europe—the night she had finally faced the fact that Chase would never love her.

  She had thought she sensed a sadness in Chase, but it had only been the emptiness of a self-serving life. She had rationalized that she perceived a need in him, but it had been merely a need to gratify his lust for her. She had believed there was tenderness in Chase, but if there had been, it had been very fleeting.

  Deep in thought, the telephone startled her. That couldn’t be Chase again! "Yes?"

  "What in the world are you thinking about?" Larry bellowed in her ear.

  "Actually, I was thinking of having the telephone disconnected," Trinity returned wearily.

  "Sissy has just been telling me how pigheaded you’re being."

  "What a charming phrase. Is that from your next book?"

  "Trinity, you’re not going to give me any trouble. I’m not going to let you! You’ve been sick long enough, and you’re going to the doctor. I’ve made an appointment for two o’clock tomorrow afternoon, and you’ll be there, because I’m going to take you! I’ll pick you up at one-thirty. Any questions?"

  "Just one. Who died and left you boss?"

  "Good-bye, Trinity."

  #

  The next afternoon, on the way home from town, Trinity had to laugh at her brother-in-law, however weakly the laugh came out. "Honestly! You can go above thirty miles an hour, you know. Just because the doctor confirmed what I think deep down I had already guessed, doesn’t mean we have to crawl back home at a snail’s pace."

  Larry’s mouth twisted into a sheepish grin. "I’ve been through four pregnancies—three of Sissy’s and one of yours—and the news still shakes me up."

  "I know how you feel," Trinity acknowledged dryly. "I have to admit the news has sort of knocked me for a loop, too."

  "So what are you going to do about it, now that you know?"

  "What do you mean?" Trinity’s forehead pleated with puzzlement. "There’s not much I can do about it. It’s an accomplished fact. You know what they say: There’s no such thing as being a little pregnant."

  Larry looked over at her and said carefully, "There are a couple of options open to you, and I think you should consider them. The one that leaps immediately to mind is to tell Chase."

  "No, Larry." Trinity shook her head firmly. "I guess it’s a sad fact, but it hasn’t even occurred to me to tell Chase."

  "It’s sad, all right, but not so strange, when I think about it," he retorted feelingly. "I’ve always said that you’re too damned independent for your own good."

  "I don’t want to hear what you’ve always said." Trinity suddenly moaned. The car ride was beginning to make her sick. "Just step on it, will you?"

  "Look, babe. All I’m saying is that you went through your pregnancy with Stephanie by yourself, without her father, because you didn’t have a choice. You’ve got a choice this time. The man has a right to know that you’re carrying his child."

  "Chase has no rights
where I’m concerned," Trinity flared, and immediately regretted it. The energy it had taken to get her angry protest out had brought the nausea right up into her throat. She put her hand over her mouth, and it subsided for a minute.

  A minute was all Larry needed. "I know you haven’t had time to think everything out yet, but you also have the option of an abortion."

  "Larry!" Trinity didn’t move her head. She just slanted her eyes and gritted her teeth. "If you don’t shut your mouth, I’m going to throw up all over your nice, clean car!"

  Grinning from ear to ear, Larry made the final turn into Trinity’s driveway. However, after stopping the car, he turned and took her hand, his mood sobering considerably. "I knew your answers before I ever made the statements, Trinity, because I know you. But I felt I had to point them out. What I won’t point out to you is how difficult it’s going to be for you to have a baby and raise it alone, because you obviously already know that."

  He looked at her consideringly. "Maybe what you don’t realize, however, is that there may be twice as much pressure put on you as there was when you had Stephanie. A lot of this community is made up of an older generation, which holds more rigid moral values than are generally prevalent today. People around here may have forgiven you for slipping up once, but now you’ve done it again. They may not be quite as understanding this time."

  Trinity shrugged imperturbably. Larry, as usual, was right, but she couldn’t be troubled by what people thought. "If they won’t accept my situation without question, then they’re not worth bothering about. I just won’t have anything to do with them."

  "I know you feel that Stephanie has added to your life rather than taken away from it, and I agree wholeheartedly with you. Have you thought how all the talk will affect her when she’s old enough to go to school?"

  Trinity combed her hand back through her hair and leaned her elbow tiredly on the window of the car. "If that happens, then I’ll move."

  "You love this place, Trinity."

  "I also love my daughter and I already love this child growing inside of me. I’ll allow nothing to harm either of them."

  Larry gave a chuckle and kissed the hand that he still held. "And, as stubborn and pigheaded as you are, I love you. Like I said before, I knew all your answers before I raised the questions, and you know that Sissy and I will do everything in our power to help you and make it easy for you. We’re behind you a hundred percent."

  Trinity smiled at him. "The luckiest day of my life was when my sister caught you and married you."

  Larry playfully tweaked her nose. "I’m not sure I would have been so easy to catch if Sissy had told me about her little sister first. I’d better get home and start eating the new batch of fudge that Sissy has no doubt made while we’ve been gone."

  "Thanks, Larry," Trinity said softly, from the bottom of her heart.

  "Sure, babe. Any time—you know that."

  #

  A light, cooling breeze drifted across Trinity as she lay listlessly in the hammock that was strung between the two giant pecan trees in her side yard. East Texas had been blessed with a beautiful spring this year, and she was taking advantage of it, lying outside in the hammock instead of inside on the sofa, as she usually did. It had been several weeks since she had found out that she was pregnant, and since that time, all of her days had settled into a bland grayness.

  Like many pregnant women, she was afflicted with a morning sickness that lasted twenty-four hours a day. It had been somewhat like this when she had been pregnant with Stephanie, too—but nowhere near this severe. And it was much harder on her now than it had been at that time. Then, she hadn’t had a four-year-old child to take care of. If she had felt bad enough, she simply stayed in bed for the day. Now, she had to get up and make sure Stephanie had clean clothes, nourishing food and loving care.

  But that was about all that she was doing successfully these days, Trinity thought despairingly. It seemed as if the more work she did, the more there was to do. As hard as she tried to keep caught up with everything, the farm was beginning to look run-down, and she knew that you couldn’t neglect a farm for very long before it became noticeable.

  Sissy took Stephanie to her place as often and for as long as Stephanie would consent to. The little girl still loved going over to her aunt and uncle’s and visiting her cousins, but now that she knew she was going to have a new baby brother or sister, Stephanie had become very protective of her mother, insisting on staying with Trinity and helping her. As it happened, though, her help was, more often than not, a hindrance. Trinity sighed ruefully. What was it about mothers being sick that made children come unglued and get into the most calamitous messes?

  Oh, well. Stephanie had elected to go over to Sissy and Larry’s for the day, and Trinity was determined to get some rest. Lately, she seemed to be continually sleepy. It felt so good to lie perfectly still in the hammock with her eyes closed, feeling the soft puffs of air blow tranquilly across her body and hearing nothing but the gentle rustle of the leaves above her and the occasional lowing of the few cows that ambled around the pasture in the distance.

  "Trinity?"

  Her eyes flew open. Standing beside the hammock, the width of his shoulders and chest covered in a casual plaid western-styled shirt and the length and muscles of his legs encased in black jeans. Chase looked astonishingly virile. She also noticed, inconsequentially, that he looked tired. What was he doing here? She shut her eyes against the sight.

  "Trinity? Please look at me." His voice sounded almost hesitant, pleading.

  "You’re not supposed to be here." Her voice was grim, and she didn’t open her eyes. "Go back to London . . . or Dallas . . . or Geneva . . . or wherever it is that you came from." Wasn’t that funny? She honestly couldn’t remember where he was supposed to have been, and she didn’t care.

  "I was in New York until a few hours ago," he advised her softly. "I’ve been working nonstop so that I could get back as soon as I could. And now that I’m here, I plan to stay."

  Her eyes flew open again. "Not here! You’re trespassing. Get off my land."

  "I’m staying, Trinity, until we’ve talked and straightened out things between us."

  Looking at Chase from a prone position, Trinity realized that she was at a decided disadvantage. But she hadn’t moved since Chase had appeared, mainly because if she moved suddenly, she would get very sick. If only he’d leave!

  Chase’s gaze ran over her questioningly. "What’s the matter, Trinity? You look pale. Have you been sick?"

  Trinity knew a brief moment of panic. Dear God, was it so obvious? Her suddenly muddled brain raced through a series of reasoning processes: No, it couldn’t be. She hadn’t had much of an appetite lately and had lost rather than gained weight. Consequently, the jeans she had on weren’t tight, and there was no way he could find out that she was pregnant.

  "I’m just fine, thank you. Now, if you don’t mind, I would really like you to leave. We’ve got absolutely nothing to talk about."

  His eyes rested broodingly on her face for a minute and then panned comprehensively over the yard. "Is something wrong? How come you’ve let things go so badly? It’s not like you. You’ve got weeds a foot high in your cucumber patch. What’s been going on here?"

  "What cucumbers?" Trinity forgot herself and raised herself curiously up on her elbows to look at the garden. A wave of intense nausea swept over her, and she lay back down, closing her eyes. "Those are zucchinis, Chase," she gritted disgustedly. "Pay attention to me. You don’t belong here, and I don’t want you here. Just go!"

  Complete silence met her statement, and finally Trinity opened her eyes to see if Chase had really left.

  No such luck. He was still there, regarding her with a thoughtful expression. "I’m going, Trinity, but I’ll be back. Count on it."

  Trinity gave a sigh of relief as she watched him stride away. Thank heavens, Chase had gone. That she couldn’t have physically forced him to leave, she knew only too well. At the best of ti
mes, she was no match for his lean, hard strength, and this certainly wasn’t the best of times. She had never felt weaker in her life.

  Chase’s parting words had carried more than a hint of a threat, but, curiously, he had uttered them more gently than she had ever heard him speak.

  Well, she couldn’t worry about it now. Chase was gone, and that was all that mattered. He wasn’t a part of her life anymore. Her world consisted of herself, Stephanie and the baby that was growing inside of her. Her nausea had abated somewhat, and, yawning, she fell peacefully asleep.

  An hour or so later, Trinity awakened, feeling all at once as if there were something wrong. Cautiously, she swung her legs over the side of the hammock and slowly sat up. A wall of nausea immediately hit her, causing her to keep her eyes trained on the ground until the worst of it had passed.

  At last, feeling steadier, she lifted her eyes and started to stand up, but immediately sat back down at the sight of Chase. He was lounging comfortably in one of her lawn chairs, which he had obviously carried over and positioned where he could watch her sleep. One ankle rested casually on the knee of the other leg, and his elbows were balanced on the arms of the chair. His face was unreadable, and his blue eyes glinted with an emotion that Trinity couldn’t begin to decipher.

  "I’ve just spent an interesting hour with Sissy and Larry," he told her idly.

  Eyeing him warily, Trinity watched while he got up and strolled leisurely toward her, his hands thrust nonchalantly in his pocket.

  Chase came to a halt in front of her and continued evenly, "The funniest thing happened. As soon as Sissy saw me, she started gathering the ingredients to make fudge. Although I had heard of her rather endearing propensity to make fudge whenever she’s upset, it’s a phenomenon I’d never witnessed until now, and I must say, it was quite an experience. I decided that with a few well-placed questions, I could probably find out just exactly what was wrong. I was pretty sure that whatever it was, had to do with you." Chase paused for a minute and then prompted gently. "And guess what?"