Better Than Hex (Spellbound Paranormal Cozy Mystery Book 5)

by Annabel Chase

  “I'm afraid not,” I said. “But I'd be happy to make you a cup of tea.”

  “Tea,” she repeated. “That reminds me. I've been wondering whether I should drop in on my old friend Octavia Minor. I haven't seen that harpy in a unicorn’s age. Is she as ugly as I remember?”

  To be fair, I wasn't sure which one of them had been beaten harder with the ugly stick. Lyra Grey definitely had better hair, but Octavia Minor had the glowing skin that came with not living in a cave for a century. She also had all of her teeth and two eyes, which Lyra had only recently acquired thanks to me.

  “The Minor house is just up the road,” I said. “I doubt they would mind a visit from an old friend.”

  “Join me, you will,” she said.

  I glanced down at my heart pajama bottoms and fluffy bunny slippers. “You know, I would love to, but I've only woken up and I think they prefer their visitors to be appropriately dressed.”

  Gareth folded his arms and smirked. “Don't be silly, Emma. Lyra will wait. Run up now and get changed.”

  After all I'd done for him, Gareth wanted to throw me under the trampling legs of the harpies. I’d remember this the next time he begged me to organize the contents of my closet by color.

  “Perhaps later,” Lyra said. “It wouldn't be fair to you, vampire. After all, I came for another lesson, not a social call.”

  “And he's made such incredible strides since you came along,” I said. “I certainly wouldn't want him to miss out today.” When Lyra turned her back, I stuck out my tongue at Gareth. He narrowed his eyes in response.

  “Let me grab a quick breakfast and I'll get out of your way,” I said.

  “Don't forget to make our guest a cup of tea,” Gareth said.

  “I think not, vampire,” Lyra said. “I think today that will be part of your lesson. Wait until she leaves, we will.”

  I stifled a satisfied smile as I hurried about the kitchen, preparing a bowl of burstberry oats and tea. I rushed from the room as quickly as I could. From the dining room table, I heard snippets of the lesson.

  “Not like that. Like this,” I heard Lyra say tersely. To his credit, not once did I hear Gareth complain.

  I quickly finished breakfast and rushed upstairs to shower and dress. By the time I came downstairs, they’d moved into the living room where Lyra was demonstrating how to start the fire.

  “Why does he need to know that?” I asked. “It's not like he ever gets cold.”

  She fixed her gaze on me and smiled. Her perfect white teeth were at odds with her aging face. “But one day you may want him to start the fire for you. Or for that lovely feline companion of his.” She surveyed the room. “Where is the small beast? Usually he does not stray far from my feet.”

  Lyra was right. Magpie had taken a shine to her and, during her visits, could often be found within close proximity to her. It was baffling to me, but I didn't question it. There was a lid for every demented pot.

  As if on cue, Magpie poked his head up from one of the dining room chairs and rested his chin on the table.

  “There is that most majestic creature,” she said, crossing the room to scratch behind his half-chewed ear. “You are the handsomest of fellows, you are.”

  “Any thoughts about when you'd like to go home?” I asked.

  Lyra peered at me, still scratching Magpie’s head. I was almost certain I heard the faint sound of purring. “I thought we might stop and see the Minors on our return journey.”

  I hesitated. I’d promised to meet Markos to discuss his conversation with Astrid and it was a long drive to the cave and back. And it wasn't like I could decide when it was time to leave the home of the harpies. That would be a decision made for me if I valued my life.

  “I think Emma has important plans this afternoon,” Garth said, and I sighed inwardly with relief. He must've felt guilty about his earlier comment.

  “Stay long, we won't,” Lyra said. “Until next time, vampire. Come along, human.”

  We’d have to work on her manners. Identifying others by their species out loud probably wasn't the most tactful way of addressing someone. I tried to imagine myself walking around town saying things like, “Hey, harpy. Where's my tea?” Or “Good morning, fairy. Work any magic today?” Or my personal favorite, “Hey, vampire. Bloodsucking hard or hardly bloodsucking?”

  “Maybe you and I could talk about the case later,” I told Gareth. “I wouldn't mind an extra set of ears.” Gareth’s personal experiences with the residents were often as helpful as his experience as the public defender.

  “Absolutely,” he said. “You know me. Dying to be useful.”

  “Or just dead,” I said, giving him a cheeky grin. “I'll meet you at the car, Lyra.” As she left the house, I ran upstairs to grab my handbag. When I came back down, Gareth was hovering by the front door. “What are you doing?”

  “Thinking,” Gareth said.

  I groaned. “That makes me nervous.”

  He chuckled. “I usually say the same about you.”

  I eyed him curiously. “What are you thinking about?”

  He sucked in a breath and I knew I wouldn't like what he had to say. “You should invite the Grey sisters to poker night.”

  I choked. “I'm sorry. My ears must be clogged. I thought you just told me to invite the frightening Grey sisters to poker night.”

  “I did.”

  I tried to push against his chest, but my hands went straight through him. “Who are you and what have you done with my grumpy vampire ghost roommate?”

  “I've been getting to know Lyra,” he said. “I think she and her sisters are ready to socialize more. They seem lonely, even though they have each other.”

  “No one exiled them to the cave,” I said. “They've chosen to live that way.”

  “You’re the one who's always trying to be inclusive,” he said accusingly. “Why is it so shocking when I make a suggestion?”

  He had a point. “But do we have to invite all three? Can't we just start with Lyra and work our way up to three over time?”

  “It's up to you,” he said. “It's your poker night. Perhaps you could invite Althea and her sisters. It would be like a family reunion.”

  “Are you trying to kill me? Althea told me that, even though their cousins, they don't exactly get along.” Not to mention the house would be full of my friends who would probably be scared witless to be sharing the table with six of the most dangerous women in Spellbound.

  “As I said, it's up to you. I think it would be a nice gesture, though.”

  The idea also made me uncomfortable because the Grey sisters were the only ones aside from Daniel who knew my secret. What if one of them drank too much Goddess Bounty and spilled the beans to everyone at poker night? That would be disastrous. Then again, the expression on Gareth's face was so sincere and he rarely asked me for any favors. He was dead and here I was living in his house and taking over his job—it hardly seemed fair to refuse him.

  “I'll decide after tea with the Minors,” I said.

  “Assuming you live through it,” Gareth said with a wry smile.

  I shot a disapproving look over my shoulder as I went to join Lyra in the car.

  The look on Phoebe Minor's face when she opened the door was priceless. “Wings and wands. I haven't seen you in…” She tapped her talon-like fingernails on the doorframe. “Barnaby's funeral was it?”

  “May we come in or have social graces changed dramatically since the last time I was here?” Lyra asked.

  If one of them began to pee all over the floor in a show of dominance, I was out of there in a flash.

  “Please come in,” Phoebe said with mock sincerity. “Emma knows I'm always happy to see her.”

  I wasn't convinced that was true. It was probably meant as a dig at Lyra.

  We entered the tchotchke-filled foyer while Phoebe yelled to the rest of her family. “Loving family. We have unexpected visitors. You'll never guess who.”

  “Never guess?” A bitt
er voice said from the next room. “I can smell her toxic fumes from here. There's only one family I know that smells like a mix of sewage, booze, and supper. The question is—which Grey sister is it?”

  We followed Phoebe into the sunroom to see Octavia Minor, the matriarch harpy. At first glance, I thought she was knitting until I realized she was not adding fluff to an object, but removing it. I swallowed hard. Apparently she was skinning a rabbit in the comfort of her own home.

  “I should've known I’d find you engaged in a worthwhile activity,” Lyra said.

  Octavia held up the rabbit by the feet. “You don't catch many of these around that cave of yours, do you?”

  “You would be surprised to know what we find, you would,” Lyra said.

  Marisol Minor swept into the room, wearing a halter top sundress more appropriate for a twenty-year-old living in the 1950’s. Her blond hair was fixed in a bun and she wore enough makeup to withstand a nuclear blast. “Can I offer anyone tea and finger sandwiches?”

  Before Lyra could ask the question I knew was burning on her lips, I leaned over and whispered, “Not actual fingers.” I quickly realized that Lyra was probably disappointed by the clarification.

  “Tea and treats for everyone,” Octavia said. She dropped the rabbit into a nearby basket and turned her attention to us. “What good deeds have we done to earn a visit from you? Next you'll tell me the curse has been broken and the borders are open.”

  “Not so fortunate as that, I'm afraid,” Lyra said. She took the seat beside Octavia, which was just as well because I preferred to sit as far away from her as possible.

  “Darcy, Calliope, Freya,” Octavia bellowed. “Come and say hello to our guests.”

  One by one they appeared, each one more human and ‘normal’ than the last.

  “Miss Grey,” Calliope said. “It's so good to see you again.”

  Phoebe studied Lyra’s face. “Have you had work done? Something’s different.”

  “It’s her eyes, nitwit,” Octavia said. “She actually has two of her own now.”

  “And these,” Lyra added, showing off her teeth.

  Phoebe staggered backward. “What in Nature's name…?”

  Lyra nodded toward me. “The human paid me a debt.”

  Octavia cast a suspicious look in my direction. “What kind of debt?”

  Since Gareth’s ghost was no longer a secret, I felt comfortable telling them. “She's helping Gareth learn new skills as a ghost. I offered her a makeover of sorts in exchange for her trouble.”

  Phoebe nodded somberly. “A fair deal.”

  “How have your sisters dealt with the change?” Marisol asked, carrying a tray of treats into the room and setting it on the table. She quickly returned with the tray of tea.

  “Yes,” Freya said, “if I suddenly woke up and my family had shed their talons and wings permanently, I don't know how I would feel.”

  “She isn’t giving something up,” Phoebe said. “She's gaining something positive.”

  “So what news have you to share?” Lyra asked, as she accepted her cup of tea. She took a grateful sip and I noticed the expression of serenity that passed over her wrinkled features. “I suspect the human doesn't know nearly as much town gossip as the harpies.”

  “Too true,” Octavia said with a deep and throaty laugh. “She's too busy trying to save everyone in town, one resident at a time. Eventually she’ll learn it’s a thankless task and stop her efforts.”

  That seemed harsh commentary on the residents of Spellbound. Then again, I wasn't as old or bitter as Octavia Minor. Maybe if I lived to her ripe old age, my attitude would be different.

  “The town building inspector was murdered recently,” Darcy said.

  “Such a tragedy,” Calliope said. “Everyone liked Ed.”

  Octavia snorted. “Not everyone, apparently, or he wouldn’t be dead.”

  “Has Sheriff Astrid narrowed down the suspects?” Darcy asked me.

  “Sheriff Astrid?” Lyra queried. “Who is Sheriff Astrid?”

  “She’s a Valkyrie,” Calliope said. “She was the deputy for many years.”

  “And she’s very capable,” I added.

  “A woman in charge of law enforcement,” Lyra mused. “Spellbound is changing, it is.”

  “Women have always been powerful in the paranormal world,” Phoebe countered. “A female sheriff is nothing new.”

  “Still,” Lyra said. “Nice to see, it is.” She gave me a pointed look. “Women of true strength and power are few and far between.”

  I coughed and Darcy thrust a cup of tea into my hands.

  “I wonder whether the sheriff has been to see Serena Bogan,” Darcy said.

  The name didn’t ring any bells. “Why?” I asked.

  “I was in Glow having my nails done and Serena was at the station next to mine telling her manicurist all about the argument. When she left, the manicurist told us that Serena had tried to bribe him, but he refused to take the money and threatened to report her.”

  Wow. I’d have to tell Astrid so she could check the records for a report of the incident.

  “Thanks, Darcy. That’s helpful,” I said.

  “Like you, I feel it’s important to do my part for the community,” Darcy said primly.

  Phoebe rolled her eyes.

  “Maybe if you’d spend more time doing your part for a single man instead of the whole community, you’d actually be married to one,” Octavia said.

  Darcy bristled. “Please don’t start, grandmother.”

  “Take a page out of this one’s book,” Octavia continued, gesturing to me. “She’s got the damsel in distress routine down pat. The males are sniffing around her in droves. She’ll need to beat them off with her wand.”

  Now it was my turn to bristle. “I beg your pardon. I don’t act like a damsel in distress and I certainly don’t feel that being unmarried makes any woman a failure.” The sharp words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

  The room fell silent. The three youngest Minors became preoccupied with the view from the sunroom windows. Octavia studied me, her eyes cruel and unrelenting.

  “Tell us your secret,” Octavia said, her voice low and serious.

  Fear gripped me. My secret? She knew about my secret? “I don’t know what you mean,” I stammered.

  “An army of potential suitors at your beck and call is almost better than sex,” Octavia continued. “I want to know how you manage it. What’s your secret?”

  I relaxed slightly. “According to Gareth, it’s because I’m new in town and no one is ever new. I’m a novelty.”

  “Well, nothing we can do about that,” Phoebe said.

  “But you’re the only harpies in town,” I said. “Maybe you can capitalize on that somehow.”

  “Men don’t exactly come running when they hear the word ‘harpy,’” Darcy said. “In fact, I’m fairly certain they run in the opposite direction.”

  “That’s why we spend so much time in our human forms,” Calliope added. “In the hope of attracting a mate.”

  “But you want to be yourself,” I said. “People can sense when you aren’t genuine, even if they can’t put their finger on the problem.”

  “You think if we’re more comfortable in our harpy form that we should stop looking human?” Freya asked, glancing around the room. “I’d be on board with that idea. I feel naked without my wings.”

  “I don’t know,” I replied. “I mean, I have one form and it’s human, so I think you’re the only one who can answer that question.” Just please wait until I’ve left to turn hideous. My tea and finger sandwich needs to digest.

  “The witch makes a good point, she does,” Lyra said.

  “Says the woman with two eyes and a full set of teeth,” Phoebe griped.

  Lyra dragged a long fingernail down the back of my arm and I shuddered. It was like being touched by death. “I believe it is time to bid them farewell. My sisters await my return.”

  I tried to disg
uise my relief. “Of course. Thank you for a lovely visit.”

  “Where are you going, Freya?” Marisol asked her youngest daughter.

  “To the widow’s walk to change form,” Freya replied. She turned to me and smiled. “I’ll screech to you from the sky.”

  Lucky me.

  On the drive back to the cave, I remembered Gareth’s request and decided to honor it. Lyra didn’t seem so scary once I’d spent time with her, and it was sad to picture the Grey sisters living so long in isolation. After all, the harpies that weren’t miserable seemed to be the ones more involved in the community.

  “If you and your sisters aren’t busy on Thursday evening, I'd like it if you came to poker night at my house.”

  Lyra’s white and grey eyebrow lifted a fraction. “What is poker? Is it a ritual from the human world?”

  I laughed softly. “Something like that. I won’t be able to drive you because I'll be hosting, but I can send a jalopy for you.”

  Lyra didn’t even hesitate. “We accept your offer,” she said, opening the car door. She tapped the hood gently as she headed toward the mouth of the cave. “Until next time, Sigmund.”

  I wasn't sure she meant for me to hear that. Regardless, I found myself humming all the way back into town.

  Chapter 12

  I was surprised to arrive at Faraway Field and find it empty. Markos was even later than I was. The sound of a magical engine caught my attention as Markos pulled over behind Sigmund and rushed from the car.

  “I'm sorry I'm late,” he said, panting. “I got caught up in a business matter.” He still appeared distressed.

  “Something to do with Ed’s murder?”

  He shook his head. “No, still trying to reconcile these damn figures. I don't want to bore you with that. Or at least let us get to know each other better before I bore you.” He grinned.

  “You had your meeting with Astrid, didn’t you?” I asked.

  “I did.” He raked a hand through his thick brown hair. “It was stressful, I’ll admit.”

  “If it’s any consolation, I have a lead for her. Something Darcy Minor overheard in the salon.”