Out of My Depth

by Gwenyth Clare Lynes

  “More importantly, how will the children manage without her?” asked Rachel. “She has such exciting and original ideas to keep the children’s imagination occupied. I know Mark and Rhoda love it when they’re invited to play round there.”

  “Adam, too, will be lost without her. She’s always been such a support to him,” said Graeme.

  “You’re right there, Graeme,” agreed Ben. “They’re like chalk and cheese, but complement one another admirably, don’t you think? Laura’s calmness is the perfect foil for Adam’s flamboyant impetuosity.”

  Around the room many heads nodded and others murmured in agreement with his words.

  “I know it’s going to be hard to focus our thoughts on our usual study,” Ben continued quietly, “so I’ve chosen a Bible passage suitable for Laura and Adam’s situation. Let’s look at it together and then we’ll spend time praying for our friends and their family.

  “Rev Hugh has also asked that I mention the 24/7 prayer vigil he has set up. He envisages a continuous circle of prayer on behalf of Laura. If you want to be involved please contact him.”

  “What about visiting?”

  “My understanding is that for the time being Laura is not allowed visitors, other than Adam, but we’re putting in place a daily support system for Adam. He’s going to need it. Rev Hugh will endeavour to go for an hour every day and would like others to commit to spending time with Adam, sitting, listening, praying, whatever Adam needs for about half an hour and certainly no more than an hour. It may be at home or at the hospital. There’s a sheet on the church notice board and Penny Darnell will compile the roster.”

  “Is anyone with him at the moment?” Justin asked.

  “I believe Rev Hugh has been with Adam since Laura was admitted.”

  “He must be exhausted. I’ll go and relieve him for a spell.”

  Even as Justin spoke Hugh was preparing to sit all night by Adam’s side so that he wouldn’t be spending a solitary vigil at the hospital. The other side of the closed door a team of Doctors worked methodically in partnership to save Laura’s life. In the Newton villages, clusters of friends prayed for her healing and restoration.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  On Wednesday morning RK stepped unhurriedly down the spiral staircase taking great care not to trip over the hem of the long crinkle cotton skirt she had chosen to wear. Blue sky, coupled with brilliant spring sunshine, beckoned through the windows of the old mill in a most inviting way. As she meandered along the passageway towards the dining room, having decided to sample Tessa’s vegetarian full English breakfast, RK anticipated the day’s adventure with relish.

  Earlier in the week she had read the timetable posted on the bus-stop outside the Village Stores. It indicated that once a week the ‘Hopper’ ran to the city picking up passengers in the villages along the way. RK decided to travel on part of the journey and explore the area around Newton Lokesby and Newton Bridge further inland along the river.

  Stillness seemed to pervade the air giving the impression that either, RK was very early arriving for breakfast or, she was late and everyone else had eaten and already departed. Neither was the case as she discovered on entering the dining room. The weekend visitors had gone home but the remaining couple were seated at their usual table, as were the Jenner children, albeit in a rather subdued manner.

  All eyes were on RK as she entered the dining room.

  “Hey, you really are a girl!” exclaimed Keir.

  “Keir!” admonished Rosie, “Don’t be so impertinent.”

  “But she is,” he persisted.

  “That may well be so but it’s rude to comment on it.”

  “I think you look very pretty,” offered Pansy diffidently.

  “Why, thankyou, that’s very kind of you, Pansy,” said RK as she took her place between the little girl and Lily then proceeded to help herself to fruit juice.

  “Am I interrupting something? You all seem rather quiet this morning.”

  “We’re just a bit sad,” explained Lily.

  “Why’s that?” RK asked between sips of juice.

  “Daniel and Kirsty’s mum is in hospital to die.”

  “Oh?” RK raised her eyebrows questioningly.

  “She fell down in the play-park.”

  “How did that happen?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, I met them all on the quay yesterday morning as they were on their way to the playground and Laura seemed OK, then.”

  “You tell her, Rosie,” Lily appealed to her older sister.

  So Rosie explained what she knew about Laura’s collapse and the Catton family’s dilemma following this tragic event.

  “I’m really sorry this has happened to your friends,” RK told Lily, kindly. “Who will look after them now their mum is so poorly?”

  “We heard that Miranda and Jackie Cooper have made arrangements for this week so that their Dad can spend time at the hospital,” said Rosie, again acting as spokesman, “but I don’t know how they will manage when school starts next week.”

  “Miss Cooper’s my teacher,” confided Pansy.

  “That’s nice, ducky,” RK said quietly, thinking to herself that this news might put a different complexion on her plans for the day.

  The Catton’s predicament was also the main topic of discussion over the lunch time meal at Doctor John Cooper’s house later that same day when the seriousness of Laura’s condition became more widely known.

  “It’s quite obvious that for the time being Laura is going to be unable to fulfil her role as practice nurse,” said Doctor John with considerable regret.

  “What do you propose to do?” asked Trixie.

  “She is an excellent practice nurse and it’s going to be difficult to replace her but Miranda and I have been considering a number of options this morning.”

  Detecting mischief in her husband’s voice Trixie smiled, “Oh, have you, and what are they?”

  “Well, the most appealing is that we offer the position to you, Jansy,” the Doctor said with a big beam on his face, as he turned towards his daughter.

  “Dad!” said Jansy with an exasperated sigh, and turned the post down flat with an emphatic “No, no, no!”

  However, Dave, who was lunching with the Cooper’s, was delighted with the proposition and begged her to reconsider.

  “Jansy, dear girl, we would be able to live in the village, near to family, which would greatly ease my mind about you when I am at sea. There wouldn’t be any need for you to travel. It sounds ideal.”

  Jansy shook her head. She was devastated at this turn of events having set her sights on the Sister’s position at the children’s hospital in the city.

  “Have they offered you the Sister’s post?” her mother asked fully aware of her daughter’s long-standing dreams.

  “Not yet, but the position of Senior Staff Nurse would be a natural progression.”

  “I see,” said Trixie dubiously.

  Whilst already torn between her own ambitions and pleasing Dave, her father’s dilemma added a further dimension to the equation. Jansy crossly clattered her cutlery onto her plate, folded her arms, and expelled an audible sigh. All eyes around the table focussed on her but Jansy was unrelenting.

  “I don’t want to leave my job,” she pouted. “I’ve worked hard to get where I am today. I’m not giving up now I’ve almost reached my goal.”

  Silence pierced the air. Dave placed his elbows on the table and held his head in his hands. Trixie looked with consternation across to John.

  “No one is suggesting that you give up your job, Jansy, just that you consider diversifying for a time.”

  Jansy shook her head vigorously as her mother was speaking. “Nothing will deter me from pursuing the career I mapped out for myself when I was still in school.”

  “If you haven’t yet been offered the post you desire at the hospital can you make clear why you are so adamant about turning down the position Dad is offering to you?” Trixie asked he
r quietly.

  “Because I then won’t have cause to regret giving up the opportunities offered to me now in later life.”

  “Please explain, Jansy,” said John patiently.

  “What on earth is there to explain?” Jansy retorted with bad grace.

  “It’s unbecoming to be so rude, Jansy,” her father admonished with restraint. “We would like to be able to understand the thinking behind your decision.”

  “I’m sorry, Dad,” Jansy acknowledged grudgingly. “I’ve been thinking of Emma’s circumstances and I really don’t want to end up in the same situation.”

  “Jansy, you are talking in riddles. What on earth has Emma to do with you becoming practice nurse pro tem? You’re going to have to explain more explicitly than that.”

  Jansy gave another over exaggerated sigh before expanding on the reason for her decision.

  “I believe Emma will ultimately come to regret her decision to give up her career, in order to run the Village Stores, following the tragic deaths of her parents. I don’t want to find myself in the same predicament because I make the wrong decision now,” she concluded forcefully.

  Dave raised his head and looked at Jansy through eyes loaded with sadness.

  “Helping out the Practice would be a wrong decision?” Dave murmured sorrowfully.

  Jansy deliberately turned her head away from him and ignored his question.

  “When did you last speak with Emma about this issue?” her father quietly enquired.

  “Not for some time now. We met up on the Norwich bus quite by chance a few weeks ago. I noticed how tired she looked and thought all the work must be proving too much for her.”

  “I suggest you make time to go and see her. I think you will find Emma has a very positive approach to her responsibilities and what she believes to be her goal in life.”

  “I find that very hard to believe considering her outburst at Christmas,” said Jansy, disbelievingly.

  “I can’t speak for Emma, but again, I urge you to speak with her,” her father gently advised.

  “I’ll see,” she replied in a non-committal manner. “But I’m not going to change my mind about the job. I’ve always wanted to be Sister-in-charge on the paediatric ward. For years I’ve worked towards that goal. Now I am so close to realising those plans I don’t want to jeopardise my position.”

  At the conclusion of the meal John assisted Trixie in the clearing away of the dishes leaving the young couple to continue their discussion in the sitting room.

  “Much as we’d like to solve their problems for them this is one thing they’ve got to sort out for themselves,” said John gently holding Trixie’s arm and guiding her towards the kitchen.

  “Even when they seem to be making bad decisions?”

  John nodded before he replied, “Hopefully they’ll come through this experience stronger people. All we can do at the moment is pray for them. They’ve got to learn to trust and believe our Lord has their best interests at heart.”

  “Where did our bubbly girl go?”

  “I think, my dear, for a time, she’s allowed self to be the centre of her life. When she gets back her perspective, things will run on an even keel, but I think it may take some time and prayer.”

  “You don’t think it’s wedding nerves, then?”

  “No, I think it goes much deeper than that.”

  “We used to be so close but at present she won’t talk to me about anything of a personal nature.”

  “I rather suspect that’s part of the problem. We know her too well. She doesn’t want to get too close to us at present because she’s fully aware of what we would advise her to do. She doesn’t want that. Jansy wants her own way. We impede that.”

  “Ideally then, she needs to speak with someone not so emotionally involved?”

  “Yes, I think Emma would be perfect but, it seems, they haven’t seen much of one another of late. Both too busy, I guess.”

  In the sitting room the conversation between Jansy and Dave was not going too well.

  “What possible future is there in fishing?” asked Jansy sullenly.

  “The fishing industry is changing,” explained Dave guardedly.

  “Floundering more like,” retorted Jansy scathingly.

  “No, these days it requires a different approach,” he calmly replied.

  “Why don’t you leave the sea and take a land job, then?” Jansy demanded curtly.

  “Jansy!”

  “You could possibly work in the city, like me. We could also live there. That would solve our problems.” Jansy crossed her arms defiantly across her chest and glared moodily at Dave.

  “Jans, you’ve been wheedling me to this position for a number of weeks, hoping your pending promotion would sway me in your favour,” Dave shook his head sadly. “I really don’t want to work in the city. I can’t be cooped up in enclosed spaces. The sea is my life. Don’t you know me, Jansy?” he pleaded.

  “It just isn’t fair,” Jansy whimpered sulkily, “I had such great plans and now they’re about to be ruined.”

  “No, they’re not,” protested Dave.

  Jansy’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him in disbelief.

  Dave attempted to lighten her mood by jovially suggesting, “We could always be like the nomads and live in a tent and move from place to place as our shifts dictate.”

  Jansy wasn’t amused. “Don’t you dare to joke about this!”

  “Well, it is a possibility.”

  “You don’t care, if you really cared you wouldn’t talk like that,” Jansy began to raise her voice hysterically.

  Dave said quietly, “Jansy, calm down.” He reached out to take hold of Jansy’s hand but she abruptly pulled away and continued barraging him.

  “Most of all, I’m angry with you for not understanding how important this is to me and I thought you knew me so well!”

  Dave sat back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. “Jansy, I understand you well enough to know there isn’t any reasoning with you when you’re like this. You’re being childish and deliberately misjudging me.”

  Jansy jumped up and yelled, “I can’t stand this and if you continue to swing on the back of the chair legs you’ll have my mother to answer to!” She flung at him irritably.

  Dave rose slowly and stood in front of Jansy. “I care a great deal about what’s important to you, Jans.”

  Jansy dismissed his words with a flick of the wrist, responded with more irrational, cutting remarks and hurled angry accusations at him. It seemed impossible for Dave to diffuse the situation and reach a compromise that was acceptable to Jansy. He sat down as calmly as he could while she continued to harangue him.

  “You’re a stubborn old mule and I refuse to discuss it with you any further!” Jansy sat down again, folded her arms and, with a toss of her head, dismissed it out of hand. As a consequence, her attitude eventually led to further moments of intense disagreement. “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t be coerced into changing my mind,” she declared dogmatically, thumping a balled fist into the palm of her hand.

  Once again, Dave gently reminded her that, although he wanted to settle in the village, he willingly considered properties in the city because her happiness was important to him,

  She rose angrily. “You’re arrogant, selfish and stubborn, Dave Ransome,” Jansy finally flung at him petulantly.

  “Shouting won’t solve anything,” he called to her retreating figure as she flounced out of the room and slammed the door hard.

  Dave slumped down in the chair; his head drooped in exasperation, mingled with sorrow, “Dear God, whatever happened to our Love?”

  Jansy strode angrily across The Green with no particular purpose in mind. She fully expected Dave would come after her, anxious to make up, and ultimately give in to her wishes. When he didn’t appear she sulked and stomped aimlessly.

  Not looking where she was going Jansy bumped into Penny Darnell, as she approached the vicarage gate, and almost knocked the vi
car’s wife over. Penny instinctively sensed by the dispirited look on Jansy’s face that all was not well. When she had regained her balance Penny slipped her arm through the younger woman’s and steered her through the gateway and said cheerfully, “Hi, there, Jansy, I’m just about to put the kettle on. Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?”

  Before she had chance to refuse Jansy found herself in the homely vicarage kitchen as though it was a quite normal occurrence for her to be there. Penny turned on the kettle, set out the mugs and chatted about inconsequential everyday things. In a haze Jansy pulled out a chair and sat down by the kitchen table.

  Jansy wouldn’t look directly at Penny which gave the older woman opportunity to study her after she had poured out the tea. Something was very obviously wrong. Penny didn’t know what. In fact, she couldn’t even guess what was troubling Jansy but clearly she was tense. The effervescent aura that was the hallmark of Jansy’s lively personality was distinctly lacking.

  Penny was a no-nonsense person. As vicar’s wife she had learned through the years to deal with all sorts of people and all manner of problems. At all times she was kind and caring yet always direct in her dealings with a person and saw no reason to change now.

  “Out with it, Jansy,” she demanded.

  Jansy looked up and frowned at her.

  “Out with what?”

  “Well, that’s just it, I don’t know. But something is wrong. I can tell.”

  “No, I’m fine.” Jansy lowered her eyes and fiddled with the handle of her mug.

  “So, you’re so fine it’s normal for you to stomp across The Green and barge into someone as though they were not there, is it?”

  At that remark Jansy did look up. Penny’s kind, but honest face was before her. It didn’t take long to admit, at least initially to herself, that something was wrong. Horribly wrong!

  “You’ll never believe me if I tell you,” she at last managed to blurt out.

  Penny smiled encouragingly, “Just try me.”

  Those few words were all that were needed to open the floodgates. In the next few minutes Jansy poured out her heart to Penny. Everything tumbled out; her vexation with Dave, her irritation that he wouldn’t agree to work in the city, the stress created by the indecision over which property to make their home, her annoyance with Laura’s fall coming at this time, her anger at her father’s suggestion that she become practice nurse, her feelings of betrayal by the injustice of God in the Kemp accident at Christmas, the frustration that was building up inside her because she was being pressured to make choices that conflicted with achieving her life goals. All the muddled thoughts about events in the recent past, and how they complicated her decisions about issues in the present, gushed from her in a steady stream.