Out of My Depth

by Gwenyth Clare Lynes

  Dave remained sore for some days and movement was quite restricted so a cooked meal was sent down from the canteen once a day till such time as he was able to make his own way up to the Mission for meals.

  Perturbed by the unprovoked attack by Billy Knights and his companions Dave rang his brother-in-law, Ben, to explain the situation. “I can’t understand Billy’s aggression. He very obviously doesn’t want it known that he is in Brixham. I can only guess at the reason. I don’t want to make false accusations but his behaviour does seem very suspicious.”

  “I’ll have a word with Wills and Dan Prettyman about your concerns. I do know the local force is carefully monitoring movement in and out of the Newton Westerby fish dock in connection with the drug smuggling and people trafficking clampdown. Maybe their counterparts in Brixham are involved in a similar campaign. Leave it with me and do take care.”

  “Thanks, Ben, I appreciate your support.”

  Even though he was away from Newton Westerby Dave’s heart was back home in the village. He longed to return and prayed for the day when that would be possible. Believing it would happen someday he had instructed Adam Catton’s firm of solicitors to act on his behalf in the purchase of the pretty cottage he and Jansy had been viewing when RK had stumbled across them. Dave thought it was so right for them and, although their wedding was not taking place in the near future, he was unshaken in his belief that it would occur, ultimately. Moreover, he saw the property not only as a sound financial investment for the future but also as the place he and Jansy would one day want to make a home.

  “Please let Lord Edmund know who wants to purchase it. I don’t want him pushing the price up by bidding against me,” Dave instructed the solicitor, well aware of Lord Edmund’s practise of buying properties in order to keep them available for local people. “Would you also inform Trixie Cooper that the property will be available to let for this holiday season only?”

  In the meantime, Jansy remained in Norwich, apparently totally immersed in her work. She rarely made contact with her family. It seemed as though she had deliberately cut-off all links with home, family and friends. She also chose not to have any involvement with a Church fellowship and as a consequence neglected her personal prayer and Bible study in her endeavour to prove her self-sufficiency. It was surprisingly easy to get out of the habit of Church. I’ll show them I can manage without God and men! Her constant busyness gave the impression that she was doing everything possible to eradicate Dave Ransome from her life. She refused to answer his calls and threw his notes, which her mother faithfully forwarded on to her, unopened into the bin. She was still very angry with him for not coming after her following their disagreement over where to live when they were married and agreeing with her wishes not to become involved in her father’s practice. Nursing at the hospital became her life and she thrust herself into it wholeheartedly.

  Her absorption with her work and relationship with the medical team, with whom she was most closely associated, was total and almost merged as one. The desire to achieve her goal drove her relentlessly from day to day. She developed an aptitude for putting on an act so that it was impossible for any of her colleagues to gauge her real thoughts and feelings. Daily she exhibited an excellent show for staff and patients. The children responded to the sparkling personality and ready smile she presented. None more so than Riley.

  “Hi Staffy,” he greeted her each morning as his chest laboured and he gasped for breath.

  “Good morning, yourself,” Jansy said as she tended to his needs, “How’s my best boy, today?”

  “Champion,” he replied with a toothy grin, a phrase he had picked up from his grandfather. “I could play for Man U today, if they pick me,” he wheezed.

  “Right, we’d best get you sorted in case the call comes.”

  One of the reasons the children loved her was her sense of fun and the light banter she engaged in with them as she attended to the more serious aspect of their illnesses. Doctor Jeremy Stead admired her calmness and skill when dealing with her young charges. He’d observed that Staff Nurse Jansy was thorough and firm, her manner crisp and precise yet so alive it brought a flicker of light, albeit briefly, into the wan faces of his sick patients. Her innovative tactics were tremendously effective. She persuaded them to take their medicines by instigating award stars.

  Also, her careful planning and cajoling motivated the patients to do things for themselves and partake in activities designed to stimulate them, where previously lethargy had instilled static acceptance of their condition. She had the ability to generate reassurance in child and parent with consummate skill. Her very presence on the ward seemed to energize all with whom she dealt. Jeremy Stead’s roving eye appreciated Jansy’s natural dainty demeanour as well as her efficiency as Senior Staff Nurse except when she was roused to fight on behalf of her patients or incensed by injustice. Then sparks would fly and all within her path would be recipients of a tongue lashing.

  Doctor Stead had kept a close eye on Jansy ever since she came to work on the ward and now that she had been appointed Senior Staff Nurse he believed she would serve his purpose well.

  One morning, once the ward handover report was concluded, Doctor Stead kept a careful eye on Jansy’s progress around the ward as she dealt with the children on her list. He waited till she was cannulating a sick child to send a junior nurse to request keys to the drug cupboard ostensibly to administer necessary medicine to a patient he was attending. As she was not in a position to attend to the matter herself Jansy reluctantly relinquished the keys. It was not until the lunch time drugs round that Jansy realised the keys had not been returned.

  Along with his effusive apology Doctor Stead invited Jansy out for a drink and her willingness to acquiesce to his invitation was coloured by her intent to win his favour. His view might sway the decision regarding her promotion to ward sister. His nearness excited Jansy in a way that perturbed her so to cover up her emotions she presented a veneer of energy and a sense of fun. In order for her true feelings not to surface she immersed herself in busyness. Thoughts of Dave were firmly suppressed.

  So much so, that she and Doctor Jeremy Stead became inseparable, both on and off the ward. Jansy naively believed that the liaison would further her career.

  However, it was with some trepidation that she prepared for her first evening out with Jeremy Stead. A vision of Dave flashed briefly through her mind. Jansy shook her head and pursed her lips together. I’ll enjoy my evening with Jeremy. Yes, it will be different, but I’m going to have a good time. She peered in the mirror and practised a smile. Dave is honourable. Can you trust Doctor Stead? She quickly smothered that thought before it surfaced any further.

  When the door bell rang she went readily to meet her escort.

  Later, at their venue for the evening, when pressed for which drink she preferred, Jansy requested an orange and lemonade. Stead insisted she have something stronger but Jansy remained firm, “No, I’m on earlies tomorrow and I need a clear head.”

  Reluctantly, Stead gave in to her wishes but when she woke in the night and was violently sick Jansy knew she had not imagined the odd taste to the drinks she had been given.

  Doctor Stead had carelessly flung an arm around her shoulders after he had placed the drinks on the table, and then moved closer to her in an intimate fashion. Jansy inched away. Working to keep the conversation light she tried to draw Jeremy out by asking about hobbies and his family. However, he would not be drawn but persisted in inane chatter quite unlike the competent Doctor on the ward. Maybe this is the way he unwinds. But the more he drank the more he joked and fooled around. Although she nervously laughed at his ludicrous witticisms Jansy grew increasingly uneasy at his inappropriate behaviour towards her.

  Half-way through the evening they were joined by Doctor Steve Hollis and a staff-nurse from the orthopaedic ward with whom Jansy was only slightly acquainted.

  As the evening progressed, the two doctors and Hollis’s companion became more a
nd more inebriated. Jansy grew perturbed at the lateness of the hour and was anxious to leave and return to the nurses’ home. Work, particularly the quality with which she performed it, was important to her and a good night’s rest prior to her shift was essential if she was to give her best to her young charges. She desperately wanted Stead to have a high opinion of her but his constant poring of her and slurred entreaties to quit harping on about going home left her torn between staying and leaving.

  Finally, when it became apparent Stead was no longer aware of her presence Jansy slipped out, hailed a taxi and returned home.

  The following day Stead was fulsome in his apology to Jansy for his loutish behaviour and promised better manners if she would agree to go out with him again.

  Jansy looked directly at him and briskly shook her head.

  “Please, Jansy,” he pleaded.

  When challenged concerning an addition to her drink he reluctantly admitted he had added something to her orange and lemonade though refrained from enlightening her as to what.

  Fired up Jansy tore into him, “Don’t you ever do that to me again, Doctor! Don’t you realise how dangerous that can be especially to someone unused to alcohol?”

  “You mean…?”

  “Yes, never touch the stuff. I told you – I want a clear head to enable me to work at my best.”

  Although Jansy eventually accompanied him again she restricted their time together to evening meals in restaurants or visits to country parks and stately homes on their days off duty. The demeaning episode was never repeated and their acquaintance became friendship, of a sort, though Jansy was guarded in her response to the more intimate closeness he frequently tried to initiate. She was anxious to keep their relationship controlled whereas he felt it was imperative to liven it up. When Jansy was animated Stead found her company scintillating but she could only present such a facade when she felt in control. Above all else she was anxious he see her as the right candidate for the top post when it became vacant later in the year.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Back home in Newton Westerby, Jansy’s mother, heartbroken by her daughter’s cavalier attitude towards them, and Dave in particular, plunged herself into work. Trixie Cooper was a chiropodist. She normally ran two clinics at the surgery each week and visited the less able who lived in the sheltered housing complex in The Close for treatment at home once a month. To Doctor John’s dismay she took on more clients and also busied herself with extra duties in the village.

  One morning after breakfast he lovingly put an arm around her shoulders as her busy hands put instruments into the sterilizer and gently said, “Trixie dear, I hardly ever see you these days, please slow down.”

  Trixie glanced at him with raised eyebrows and pursed lips.

  “Don’t work so hard, my dear, you’ll wear yourself out.”

  Reaching out automatically to switch on the machine Trixie looked up at him imploringly. “I need to stay busy it keeps my mind off Jansy and Dave’s situation.”

  “Oh, my dear,” John shook his head, sadly, “have you forgotten about taking your burden to the Lord and leaving it there?”

  “No, of course not, but I feel if I keep occupied I don’t give myself opportunity to dwell on their state of affairs.”

  “Just stop for a minute, Trixie, I want to share something with you.”

  Trixie shook her head disconsolately.

  “Please,” John pleaded gently, took hold of her arm and tenderly guided her to sit down, picked up his Bible, then proceeded to reveal what was on his heart. “I was reading Psalm 94 early this morning and the words came as a sharp reminder that when we are held secure in the love of God we are supported and strengthened in every circumstance. Not some, but all! The psalmist said of the Lord, ‘When anxiety was great within me Your consolation brought joy to my soul.’ ”

  Tears welled up in Trixie’s eyes as she replied, with a quiver in her voice. “You’re right, John dear, I’m not trusting as I ought. Please read that verse to me again.”

  “‘When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.’ Those words have been a source of strength to me over this issue with our daughter. I pray that you will find them equally as helpful.”

  “Thankyou, John, I will try to,” Trixie answered in a subdued tone. John was always such a tower of strength she hadn’t given thought to how the split between Jansy and Dave had affected him. His revelation brought her up with a jolt. How selfish I am, please forgive me, Father God, I’ve been anxious about so many things. Teach me to trust You for every situation and to be a more perceptive wife.

  Trixie looked up into the kindly face that was viewing hers with such concern.

  “There are some things I have promised to do, so I must fulfil them, but I give you my word, John, that I will ease up from my futile busyness.” John brushed a hand though his hair raised his eyebrows and then with his head tilted to one side smiled lovingly at his wife of thirty years. Trixie took a deep breath. How well you know me, dear John.

  “Truly, I will.”

  “My dear, you say that now but so many of your projects involve the wellbeing of other people that I think you’ll find it hard to let go.”

  “I can’t let people down, can I?”

  John slowly shook his head as he pondered the many lives his wife’s caring manner touched each day.

  “Maybe you could just slow down a little,” he gently suggested, “or delegate? You’re really not expected to solve everyone’s problems single handed.”

  “Mmm…” Trixie responded vaguely as her mind floated over activities of recent weeks when she had increased her involvement with the Ladies Guild and WI and in view of Laura’s recent illness she had readily offered to help the family with anything that was needful. She had also raised a number of vibrant issues with the Parish Council which they in turn nominated her to carry through.

  One of the subjects to gain her interest was the matter concerning empty or derelict property in the Newton Westerby area being grabbed by outsiders as second or holiday homes. They stood unoccupied for three-quarters of the year while young people from the village were unable to get on the property ladder, or find a house to rent, so that they could stay in their home locality.

  Lord Edmund de Vessey had broached this matter most vociferously at a Parish Council meeting some five years earlier. As a consequence he bought up properties when they became available to prevent what he termed ‘second home snaffling.’ He then arranged for them to be renovated and made available to villagers at a fair rent. Any currently unoccupied were then offered as holiday lets.

  Trixie had been appointed by the village housing committee to manage the lets on their behalf in conjunction with Graeme Castleton, who as accountant administered the financial side of things, and Christina Ransome who assisted with practical matters, such as cleaning and furnishings. The money raised by this venture was ploughed back into maintaining the properties to a high standard.

  Driven by her anguish for Jansy and Dave, Trixie had pitched in with the scrubbing and cleaning of the cottages with extra vigour in readiness for the forthcoming holiday season, even though it wasn’t her responsibility. It was as if the harder she scrubbed the more the deep hurt would go away.

  John broke the silence, “There is such an irony to our conversation, my dear.”

  “What do you mean?” Trixie rubbed a hand vigorously across her brow as though to banish the thoughts dancing in her mind.

  “Well, it was my intention to chat with you about the overgrown eyesore opposite brother Billy’s shop that was broached briefly at the last PC meeting but the ideas I have would probably add to your workload not reduce it,” John smiled wryly.

  Trixie returned his smile and leaned forward expectantly. “Now that does sound intriguing.”

  John glanced at his wrist watch as he rose from his chair. “I really do have to get on. I have a full list today. Perhaps we could discuss this matter over dinner one evening so
on. I’ll book a table at the Station Hotel.” He leaned over and kissed Trixie goodbye. “Please take it easy today and don’t worry unduly about the young folks. I believe in time, all will be well.”

  “Yes, dear John, I’m sure you’re right,” she murmured as the Doctor departed for the surgery.

  Yes, Lord, all will be well. But, dinner out? That is so un-John like!

  Nevertheless, following her chat with John, Trixie was able to approach her tasks in a more optimistic manner. So much so that Christina picked up on the change in her as they cleaned windows and rehung curtains together in one of the holiday cottages, later that morning.

  “You’re cheerful today, have you had some good news?” she asked.

  “In a way, I’ve realised again how valuable prayer is. So often it changes things,” Trixie explained.

  Christina inwardly sighed. Oh no, not more of the religious squit!

  “Oh, I thought you’d had positive news about Dave and Jansy. Much good prayer’s done them!” she mumbled cynically.

  Trixie smiled and replied cheerfully, “It will, I fervently believe it will.”

  “Humph!” Christina snorted, disheartened by their children’s break-up and her son’s departure to the southwest. I very much doubt it!

  “You heard the grumbling in the village?” Christina briskly changed the subject not wanting to be drawn into Christian talk.

  “What about?” asked Trixie as she fitted curtain hooks into the slots of the rufflette tape.

  “Some of the villagers are still up in arms about the motorbike noise so early in the morning. Prayer hasn’t worked a miracle for them, either,” she said sarcastically.